carol

After putting down the phone, Tian Ruixin, who was sitting on the bed absent-mindedly, thought that Ke Kailuo's departure was actually only the day before yesterday.

How could he run so far all of a sudden?Italy, what kind of place is that?Rui Xin never imagined.A chill hit, Rui Xin took out a tissue, blew her nose, wiped away her tears, and simply got into the quilt.In her own room, Carol helped her change into the winter quilt, although she never really slept in it at night.But it was still very cold just after getting in, Rui Xin shivered.

She still went to work yesterday, but the situation was very bad... The night Kailuo disappeared, she cried in panic until she fell asleep on their big bed, and when she got up and saw that Kailuo was empty, she started crying again.Later, she was in a hurry to go out and did not wear enough clothes. During the interview during the day, she was cold and unable to concentrate, and the manuscript could not be written well.When Fuli Chen came to her for the second time yesterday afternoon, he said that she looked very bad. He looked at her notes and the computer with a blank file open, and directly told her to stop writing and go home first.She obediently walked straight away. On the MRT, there were a lot of people who got off work early. She squeezed weakly in the crowd, smelling the perfume of the girl next to her, and she couldn't help crying.She took out the tissue paper and wanted to pretend to wipe her nose, but she thought of the shame and anger of not being able to write the manuscript, and thought of whether she had lost Kai Luo forever. Her heart, her lungs, the corners of her mouth and eyes seemed to have their own Like will, even though she was squeezed in the crowd, tears kept coming out of her own accord. The more she tried to bear it, the more excited she became.She took another piece of tissue and pressed hard on the damn eyes, trying to stop the tears like hemostasis.Hope no one finds her.

Rui Xin felt that perhaps she should sleep here tonight.Otherwise, on the bed in the bedroom, smelling Kai Luo's smell, she has been crying with a blank mind for two nights, and it is not an option to continue like this.She doesn't want to be like a child who can only cry. She shouldn't be unable to think and just let a lot of strong emotions kidnap her.

When she went to work today, other colleagues were concerned about her, saying that she must have a serious cold.Although Ruixin is grateful for their concern, she also feels guilty for not being able to concentrate on her work.At noon, when she felt that she should try to call Carol again, Amin just called to tell her the news about Carol.Unfortunately, senior sister Ah Zhen just came to see her, and she couldn't tell Ai Ming too much.Checking the time in Italy with her mobile phone, Rui Xin decided to think about what she wanted to talk about in the afternoon and call Kai Luo after get off work.

Carol sounds fine, like nothing happened.She is working, she is eating.Although hearing her voice, missing her burst out like a hole in a dam, but...she didn't know what Carol was thinking, would she miss her?

Does she still care about me?Rui Xin couldn't help doubting this.

Carol said she would call her.Will she really?Rui Xin turned over again in the bed, she felt a very strong feeling suddenly surged from the back of her mind, pressing her eye sockets, causing the moisture in her body to instantly concentrate to her eyes and nose.She was already familiar with the wayward tears, and let them flow freely onto the pillow.But it turns out that a stuffy nose also has a smell, and she feels like soaking in a swimming pool.Rui Xin tried to arouse her reason, only to realize that this strong feeling was anger... She was very angry.

How could she leave me again!How could she make me so sad?Rui Xin frowned, crying, but couldn't stop the doubts in her heart.Feeling full of anger in her chest, she wailed wantonly, anyway, she couldn't bother anyone or Carol.She threw off the quilt and slammed the pillow on the ground.With a muffled sound, it will not fight back, no matter how hard it is thrown, it can only be so helpless and pitifully paralyzed.Rui Xin stared at it, and the silence in the mansion surrounded her quietly again.

With a slight headache, Rui Xin thought that she hadn't eaten dinner yet, but the feeling of discomfort all over her body seemed to be more than just being hungry.She checked her phone again to see if she missed Kailo's call, and also checked Italy. Now...it's afternoon, maybe she's working.I should wash my face, cheer up and have a meal.

By the way, she was having lunch with an interpreter, so she really has to go to work, right?Maybe she didn't leave me on purpose.She said she would love me forever... Did she mean that?Beside the washstand, Rui Xin suddenly couldn't remember the exact words in Kai Luo's letter.She hurried back to her room, wiped her wet hands on her clothes, and opened the letter on the desk again that she had folded aside because she didn't want to read it again.

Ruixin read the letter carefully; she didn't say she loved me forever, she just said... longing.But the point is that she felt that she was dragging me down and that I should be with better people.

If she really meant it, what did that mean?Does she feel bad about herself?And then I give in to her?Should leave her, even though she still wants me?Rui Xin felt that this logic was incredible!She watched it all over again.Carol writes "my own pain these days," so is this pain, what is Carol's own pain, that makes her start drinking and... come up with all these weird thoughts?is that so?Carol, what is she suffering from?How could Carol feel bad about herself?

Questions filled her chaotic brain like the bubbles on beer. Rui Xin was about to dig out the diary and write it down with a pen, but when she heard a faint... ringtone of her mobile phone, she turned her head to look at her phone in panic. Single bed, no, the phone is not here...

Tian Ruixin rushed around the house as if trying to catch some news, and finally found her mobile phone next to the toothbrush in the bathroom. Her heart was beating wildly, as if it had run into her throat.

Seeing the caller ID, it was Sister Ai Ming, Rui Xin breathed a sigh of relief,

"Rui Xin?" Hearing Ai Ming's voice, for some reason, he felt a sense of peace of mind.

"Sister Ai Ming." Well, because Ai Ming seemed to be ready to roll up his sleeves at any moment and pull people out of the well.This picture suddenly flashed in Rui Xin's head.

"Have you got in touch with Carol?"

"Yes, I called her after get off work."

"And then?" Ai Ming asked without hesitation, as if he cared about his own affairs.

"She's working. Lunching with an interpreter..."

"Oh." Ai Ming seemed to click his tongue,

"She said she would call me back."

"Yeah...very good."

"...But I don't know if she will really fight..." Rui Xin honestly expressed her worry.This heartfelt voice came out smoothly, but her throat suddenly felt uncomfortable. She left the phone and coughed a few times.

"I'll check on her, definitely." Taking the phone closer, Rui Xin seemed to hear Ai Ming muttering to himself, with a feeling of ruthlessness in his tone.

"Ruixin, are you okay? Are you full?" Ai Ming began to care about her.

Putting on a big coat, Ruixin also brought a power bank specially, so that the mobile phone could not run out of power at a critical moment.She clutched the phone tightly and put it in her pocket.Ai Ming urged her to eat and take good care of herself, "only then will I have the strength to deal with Ke Kailuo", just now hearing sister Ai Ming jokingly say this made Rui Xin smile.

In the cold dark night, Rui Xin was thinking about the question she would ask Abby tomorrow, and unconsciously walked out of the apartment, walked to the noodle shop, ordered food, and sat down until a man asked her if she could sit across from her. Only then did I realize that I was already eating noodles.Rui Xin nodded politely, the man's voice was a bit like Chen Fuli, Rui Xin couldn't help but look up again, no, it's just that the voice and appearance are a bit similar.She lowered her head and ate the noodles intently.

It's probably the same this afternoon. She can hardly remember what work she did or what she interviewed, because she was thinking about Kailuo's original event in Italy and how to talk to her. In the end, she just kept Moving and reacting unconsciously.After she came back, she really wanted to write something, but of course she couldn't write it... When she returned to her seat, she just sat down in a daze for a while, when Assistant Manager Chen came over, patted her, and told her to go to the meeting room.

"Xiaotian," it was rare for him to see Fuli Chen sitting and speaking in such a calm manner, her eyes widened nervously,

"It doesn't matter whether you are sick or in other circumstances, such as a broken relationship or something," Fuli Chen took a breath, and originally spoke in a particularly slow tone, but the second half of the sentence naturally returned to his original cannonball,

"You can't even work well, do you know that?" He likes to throw questions to her,

"I'm sorry." Rui Xin felt ashamed and sorry.It occurred to her to answer his question, "...I know."

"You are a very talented and serious person, although it may be the first time I tell you." Fuli Chen's eyes showed a rare gentleness, and he continued,

"If you can't do something, you can take time off... I mean, you should. Do you know why?"

"Because...will affect other colleagues?" Rui Xin tried to answer,

"Yes, but what I want to say is, what is more important... What we do is news, news that must be socially responsible." He explained seriously, "If you are in a bad condition and do something wrong, it may be a very important thing , then you will regret it, and some things can’t be taken back if you do something wrong. So you must be very serious and cautious at the moment.”

Rui Xin had never seen Fuli Chen speak to her in such a sincere manner, and she in the meeting room was trying to understand the meaning of these words.Fuli Chen also patiently waited for her to digest.

"Do you like this job? Being a reporter, writing news?" Fuli Chen suddenly asked her,

"...I like it." Rui Xin really liked it.

"Then I hope you face it seriously. You can't know when news will happen, so you have to be in the best condition you can to produce the best. Do you understand?" Rui Xin nodded, from Assistant Manager Chen She knew that he was not scolding her, he was teaching her something very important.She was very moved, but of course she still felt sorry.She was thinking hard about what to say, how to express it, or whether she needed to explain her current situation to him...

"Okay! I think you understand. Tomorrow Friday, you rest at home, recover well, and go to work again on Monday, that's it." Fuli Chen suddenly changed back to his original appearance, made a super clear decision, and then explained clearly give her.Rui Xin blinked, before she had time to thank him...

Although Fuli Chen stood up, turned around and opened the door of the meeting room, and almost walked out, he stopped and turned around. The gentle look appeared on his face again, and he smiled at Rui Xin. There is trust and tacit understanding in the smile, so Rui Xin knows that she doesn't need to say anything.Thinking of the warm conversation a few hours ago, Rui Xin encouraged herself in her heart to cheer herself up.It happened to be on vacation, so I made an appointment with Sister Ai Ming for tomorrow morning, so we can have a good talk and analyze the problem.

Maybe because of the hot noodle soup, Rui Xin didn't feel cold on the way home, and even got fever all over when she got home.It's just, maybe it's because I'm sad in my heart, and I feel weak in my body.Her throat was still uncomfortable, so she poured herself a glass of water.

Lying on the desk, she stared at the phone, waiting for Carol to call.It was so quiet in the big house where she was alone, and she heard the sound of the second hand moving.Her head hurt more and more, and the willful tears flowed a little more, and then her nose became blocked after she cried again.So she opened her mouth and breathed.This way, instead of the ticking of seconds, what she heard was her own breathing.She lay on the table with her eyes open, and suddenly felt the room surrounding her.This was prepared by Kai Luo for her, and she always emphasized that it was the studio.But this room, to her, was the cabin of love, and perhaps the whole house.

She had her own room for the first time since she started working.At that time, she was very happy. No matter how simple the furniture was, having her own space was beyond her imagination when she lived in a reformatory since she was a child.Then, Carol appeared in her life, as elegant as a rose, so noble that you dare not touch it.But the few times she came to her little suite, she just admired her trinkets, her decorations, and never complained about anything.Of course, it is mainly in this small suite that they can talk freely and vaguely.

But this Kailo's house, even though she has lived in it for almost a year, still makes her silently moved so much that she can't help herself.Especially the room that Kai Luo prepared for her and belonged to her.She has never seen or thought that there are lights in the world that can be adjusted in color and brightness with a remote control.She has a very comfortable and textured bed, sheets, desk, and this chair that costs tens of thousands of yuan and is super comfortable to sit on. It is completely better than those dirty office chairs in the company that everyone sits on every day. .Not to mention the shiny TV, player and headphones.None of it was something she could have imagined having before, these high-end items from another world, and someone acted like it was all yours for granted and completely non-negotiable.This is what Carol loves for her.

Rui Xin caressed the warm wood grain of the desk, took a breath and sat up, then took a serious look at the room, walked to the window, and put down the curtains.The windowsill was a great corner, and when she wasn't glued to Carol, she would sit here and read a book, and when she needed to think, she used to look out at the trees.Carol also helped her add two throw pillows here one day, and the fabric was also very comfortable.

How could she feel that she treats me badly?If she leaves me like this, is she not going to treat me well in the future?Why?I don't understand!For a moment, Rui Xin was completely incomprehensible and resentful towards Kai Luo.

She was afraid of going back to being alone, she was afraid of losing Carol.Carol did not discuss with her, ignored her feelings, and even lied to her.Just run so far.Tian Ruixin curled up on the cold quilt, even if she felt cold, she didn't want to move.What is she waiting for?She didn't know what to expect.She couldn't control the voice inside her: Carol wasn't calling at all, she was just going to keep lying to her.Rui Xin wanted to press the shutdown button for herself, if she didn't want to think about anything, then there would be no pain.

When the phone rang, Rui's heart jumped, and the soul might not have returned to the body in fear.The screen reads Carol.She took a picture of Carol's beautifully manicured hands with red nail polish, as Carol's headshot.

She stood at the table and answered the phone.In that half-second blank, she closed her eyes with peace of mind, she waited.

"Rui Xin? Are you asleep?" Kailuo's voice was not very clear, but this deep, magnetic and feminine voice came from Ke Kailuo, who she was thinking crazily for a second.

"Not yet. I've been waiting for your call." Rui Xin took the phone and sat back on the bed.

"It's already 12 o'clock, I'm afraid you have a rest." She only frowned when she heard what Carol said.

"How is it possible, I'm afraid you won't call." Rui Xin knew that her tone was not very happy.The background of Kai Luona sounds quite quiet, it should not be outside, but Kai Luo was silent.

"... Carol," Rui Xin said, but in fact she didn't know what to say, she just felt the huge oppression from the back of her head suddenly surged up again.

"Carol! You really make me sad!" With tears streaming down her face, she suddenly yelled at the woman she loved, "Do you even know that!"

Rui Xin wiped her tears with the back of her other hand, what was she doing, she wanted to control herself, but her heart hurt so much, she felt so chilled.

She didn't hear Kai Luo's reply, so she quickly held her breath and listened carefully to Kai Luo's voice on the phone.She felt that she was still on the other end of the phone,

"Carol, are you listening?"

"I'm listening." That voice hit her heart word by word.

"If you liked me, you shouldn't have treated me like this!" Rui Xin was so excited that she cried again, she couldn't breathe, but she didn't finish speaking,

"Why can't you tell me? Why did you run so far?" She cried into the phone, covering her face and sobbing uncontrollably.She couldn't go on talking for a while,

"Rui Xin, Rui Xin!" Kai Luo called her anxiously,

"Why?... Mmm." Ruixin responded inarticulately, she covered her mouth, trying to stop crying, afraid that Kailuo would also say something to her,

"...oh my god," was all Carol said.Rui Xin waited, Kai Luo didn't speak again, but she knew she was still there,

"Carol," Rui Xin stared at the floor, but she seemed to see Carol holding the phone in front of her eyes, "how could you bear to leave me again? Didn't you say you didn't want to see me suffer? How could you...? You tell me..." She cried again as she spoke, how could you be willing?How could you be willing to make me so sad?

She choked on herself, coughed, and was so uncomfortable that she had to put her phone on the bed first, took a tissue, and quickly blew her nose.There was a sharp pain in her temple again, she quickly picked up the phone,

"Ruixin? Ruixin?" Carol was calling her, she sounded worried,

"En." Rui Xin suddenly felt a little calmer.She was sobbing, not knowing what else to say for a moment.Because she didn't wait for Carol to answer any of her questions, it was as if a numb, blank feeling filled her mind inappropriately.

"Do you want to answer me?" Rui Xin could suddenly ask calmly.

"I want, baby. I...God...Rui Xin, you...don't cry." Carol replied immediately in a panic.

Rui Xin waited, what would Carol want to say?Why not?Between the gaps in the conversation, she thought of what Carol had "said" in her letter.

"Carol, I want to be with you, I really want to." Rui Xin felt that it's better to clarify what she wants to say first,

"It's not 'for my own good' so I can't be with you..." Shit.She swallowed, feeling her mind clear, and she went on,

"You're not here, I'm not fine at all! Do you know that!" After she finished speaking, she regretted, why she accidentally yelled again,

"...Carol?" From the feeling on the phone, she knew that Carol was still there, she might have listened carefully, Rui Xin seemed to be able to see that she must be touching her face and listening to the phone,

"Ah."

"I need you, I want you to hold me, hold me 'now', that's what is good for me, do you understand?" Rui Xin said softly, a lot of tenderness suddenly appeared in her heart, Because she thought of Carol's arms, she remembered what it felt like to be in her arms.Just thinking about it like this seemed to comfort me.