gentle and affectionate

([-]), Jianjia

The reeds are green, and the white dew is frost; the so-called Iraqi people are on the side of the water;

Follow it backwards, and the road is long and long; follow it backwards, just in the middle of the water.

——"Book of Songs·Jianjia"

I can't touch your heart, just like you are in the water and I am on the shore, no matter how much you chase, it is fruitless and desolate.



In Heigang's impression, magicians have never been so desperate.In the past, he only showed sadness occasionally, and Heigang was always irritated because of this person's concealment and concealment, so he often said not very pleasant words, in order to break through the magician's defense and expose his lies; This relationship started from attention gradually deteriorated, but Heigang hoped to make the person in front of him open his heart, because he wanted to be someone he could trust.

In any case, Heigang felt that it would be better to speak out than to conceal, until now.

Until now, he watched him sitting there, declaring all the things he had concealed in an emotionless voice, as if a person who had already known the date of death was making a final confession.

"Sakura, she knows," he said in a hoarse voice, "knows that in the world I was originally in... Thracian country has Sakura's feathers."

He weakly got up from the bed, his eyes were like a pool of stagnant water, even in the dead of Tokyo, there was no smile on the face of a person who could warmly smile, and the undisguised despair made Hei Gang's expression shake.

The witch can only sigh.

"Princess Sakura will know this, after the power to foresee the future recovered in the dream, when the feather returned to her in Tokyo..."

Of course, Hei Gang is no stranger to dreams, but he didn't expect that this princess would be the same as the Princess Zhishi he followed.Thinking of Princess Sakura's concealment to save the three of them, Heigan thought of Tomoyo, maybe she sent him out of Japan because of what she saw.

Perhaps he was beginning to understand some of the hidden pain.Hei Gang looked at the magician who had been hiding all this time, and felt uncomfortable. He believed that he didn't kill the princess on purpose, and he must have unspeakable difficulties.However, for the first time, Heigang felt that he was a little afraid of hearing the truth.

The magician didn't notice his gaze, but just lowered his head and narrated, as if drowning his soul in guilt.

"In the past, I used the feather that fell in Thrace to create Xiaoji, and later I saw Little Wolf and the others at your place. Although I knew they were looking for that thing, I didn't tell them," he said to After the witch finished speaking, she raised her head slightly to face the boy who was also called Little Wolf, "You who possess magic power should know another thing, right?"

Hei Gang glanced at the boy.Obviously, the teenager knew about it, but he still hesitated.

"I have seen it through another one. In Jiulou Kingdom, when the memory feathers of the princess were scattered, the priest said, 'The scattered memories no longer exist in this world'; When a country..."

——The magician stretched his hand behind the boy, pulled out a feather like a magic trick, and saved the princess whose body was about to freeze with a smile.

"If this is the case, it is impossible for the priest not to know."

It can be heard that the young man doesn't want to talk about it, but he can only state it lightly.The antecedents of this incident were unknown to Heigang, but it confirmed his original doubts, because he clearly remembered the flash of guilt in the magician's eyes, and thought it was a mistake.

The magician's eyes were hidden behind the bangs, so that Hei Gang could not see his expression, only the edge of the black blindfold could be seen.

"That's right,"

For a long time, he said,

"That's the feather I've carried since the beginning."

"Mokona..." the little guy nestled in the boy's arms confirmed, "I've been feeling the fluctuating feathers since I woke up in Yuko's shop, but..."

"You can't tell who's holding it, can you?"

He looked up at the pup.

"That's why you keep your distance from me."

He said to the witch again.

"You know, I told several lies."

"When I first appeared in your store, it was raining, but you were the only one who didn't get wet. At that time, your magic power was stronger than mine, so you existed in a different space from mine. inside."

"Because you know that there is a curse on me that will make me kill people with stronger magic power than myself."

Even the corners of his mouth trembled, as if he owed everyone.The magician's word-for-word statement cut the ninja's heart like a knife blade, making his heart ache beyond measure.Heigan could only clenched his fists.

The truth is like a long confession, the magician's despair has no end.Ninja has lost his attachment to his past since Tokyo. He told himself that as long as there is a future, he can never think of it——

In fact, the magician has been living in the past and has never been free.



Heigang thought, he probably understood something.Under the dim light of the bar in Yingdu Country, that person's smile, which was so faint that it was about to disappear, was deeply imprinted in his mind, and he could even remember that night's tender dream when he said:

"I've been waiting for someone to come and take me away."

At that time, he still felt that the magician was too strict. In Heigang's past cognition, as long as a person wants to be strong and strives hard, it is enough to protect everything important to him, let alone redeem himself.

But gradually, he felt as if he was wrong.

Simply being strong can't save anything, just like no matter how powerful a magician is, he can't escape the curse. In fact, he hasn't been able to redeem himself for so many years.

——Actually, what can you gain by just killing people every day?Has he ever been happy?Ninja doesn't know.He only felt that along the way, and even from the past to the present, he and this magician probably only lived in peace in one place.

Nightmare.

One let go of the heavy past, and the other let go of the imposed obsession.Heigang knows that in fact, his pursuit of being strong is just to divert attention, telling himself that once he is strong, he will not lose again, keep getting stronger, keep proving, proving that he is enough to protect all the people he wants to protect thing.

Because I am afraid that once I stop, I will fall into the deep guilt of not being able to protect my favorite parents.

……

The truth that being strong is not everything is what Zhishi let him realize when he sent him away. He didn't want to admit it at that time, but the facts kept forcing him to admit it.

Hei Gang could not forget that rainy night.That afternoon when he and the little ghost were fighting outside, he was a little careless, and his right arm was cut half a foot long. He originally planned to ignore it, but when his patience was discovered by the careful magician, when he When Weiliang's hand touched his arm, Heigang couldn't refuse.

He has been avoiding himself for five and a half months, so even if it is only for a moment, Hei Gang is still reluctant to get rid of him, even if it is just his own wishful thinking.He treated his wound with extreme care. He endured the pain, which was nothing to him, but he and the person in front of him forgot their current relationship.

Vampires and bait, food and predators.

The vampire, who hadn't sucked his blood once since becoming a vampire, seemed to be dull, so it took a long time to realize it, and then ran out frantically.

It was probably because he was so close to him for the first time since Tokyo, so Heigan also became dull, so he couldn't chase him out immediately.By the time he reacted, the person had disappeared.

The sky that is about to rain is dark yellow. Hei Gang looked for him in the sultry air, in the rainstorm, from the afternoon to the middle of the night, and ran home again and again with hope to confirm whether he would come back, but again and again Disappointed once and for all.The last time he was out of his sight, he almost gave him a corpse, Heigang was too afraid that the old things would happen again.

A person with no hope of survival is alone in such a dangerous city. When Hei Gang came back to confirm at [-]:[-] in the morning, he was almost desperate. He felt his heartbeat was unprecedentedly flustered, and then hit his thin body the moment he opened the door .

—Faye.

His whole body was soaked by the rain, his clothes were disheveled, his face was completely pale, and his lips were a little purple.Hei Gang almost wanted to pull him into his arms to calm his panic, but suddenly realized that he didn't even have a place to worry about him.

Has he met any bad people?Have you been wronged?How is your body? Do you feel unwell?Black steel can't ask.The light behind him just shone on his pale face, the black eyepatch was shocking, the only blue eye was reflected purple, and there was an unconcealable tiredness in his eyes.

His sarcasm pierced his heart like sharp knives, as cruel as he cut his hands with broken porcelain that day. Hei Gang didn't care about being stabbed for his wishful thinking, but he knew that the sarcasm that the magician said with a smile , not really happy.

However, it has been missed.

Letting the person whom he holds in his heart pass him by, the man doesn't even have the strength to look back.He could only stand in the rain, seeing the iron gate that had been opened and closed countless times, and now it looked so cold.



You don't even know, you have only two sleeping positions, either with your face down and your face buried, or curled up tightly, and you have never laid down on your back as relaxed as yesterday.

Hei Gang suffered from insomnia again last night, so he went to see the same insomniac magician, who had a fever, which made his heart ache again.

Hei Gang couldn't remember how many nights of insomnia he had suffered before, and how long he had stood in the yard.The magician's body was gradually exhausted, but Hei Gang was not unaware of his stubbornness in not wanting to suck a drop of his own blood, but it didn't mean he wasn't anxious.

He thought that at least saving him would give him and himself a little more time and even a pitifully small chance.

He thought that if he was alive at least, he would be able to accompany him to find hope.

The fact that the magician refuses to drink his own blood, Hei Gang has never thought about it. In fact, the witch also reminded him at first, but he didn’t have time to think about it at that time, because as long as he watched the dying magician fall in front of his eyes, He would rather give everything to save him.

——Please, don’t die, don’t be as silent as your parents left you.

Even though the former boy has now grown into a powerful ninja, the fear from the bottom of his heart is still his inner demon.So he forced himself to keep getting stronger, in order to be able to protect him when he has someone he cares about again, many years later.

Just like this trip, the strength of the man made him the backbone of the travel companions. It can be said that if it weren't for him, the possibility of the others walking safely to the present is almost zero.

But he just had nothing to do with that person, so he could only watch his body weaken day by day.

The sound of the porcelain cup breaking made the ninja tremble all over. The door was obviously closed by himself, but he didn't dare to rush in like this. The ninja didn't know how to face him for a while, because he just fed his own blood with his own hands. to that person.

He must know, Heigang thought.Feed him mouthful like Yingduguo gave him water at night, but this time it's about life.Already dying from ischemia, he leaned softly in his arms, with his mouth half open, drinking like a child... If one cup is not enough, he will have another cup. Anyway, there is plenty of blood, and Hei Gang took the trouble to feed the vampire in his arms. Injecting his own blood, until he finally left, even Hei Gang felt dizzy for an instant.

As long as it can keep him alive, it can be as much as possible.

When the ninja finally plucked up the courage to push open the door, he only saw the scrawny mage on the ground, moving his body stubbornly and struggling to crawl. His hands were covered with broken porcelain, and his blood merged with his own on the ground. The more he wore the loose black clothes, the ink was smeared; the delirious body followed the instinct of survival, sticking out its tongue to lick the blood spilled on the ground.

His heart throbbed violently, causing him to push away the two children who were also worried, and then ran over, using his wound that hadn't healed for half a month to seduce his beloved who was far away in the sky and close in front of him, even though he knew that he would hate myself.

He must hate himself.

Hei Gang looked at the man who was crazily sucking blood while embracing his arm, but tears flowed from his godless eyes, knowing that he would be farther away from him.

……

So Heigang's memories are coming to an end.

The trip to Thrace had already been decided in the magician's dead water confession, Heigan put the wiped blue ice into the scabbard.The navy blue Japanese sword has helped me protect the group's weapons almost from the beginning of the journey, and then I will set foot on that land with myself,

Thrace.

Home of the magician.

About the magician's past, it can already be ascertained from the man's few words.The ninja's face was full of solemnity, and his beast-like intuition let him know that he would face a fierce battle, and maybe he would never come back after this trip.The ninja who has never been in favor of escaping actually hoped for a moment:

It would be great if we could not go.

Realizing what he was thinking, the ninja smiled self-deprecatingly. Could it be that he has been infected with that guy for too long?He sighed again, because he knew he couldn't stop him—this was his past, and it was his choice, excluding the reason for taking back the princess's body, even if it was to let the magician go out, this was probably a compulsory course a lesson.

Since he was going, he just had to do his best to protect him, that's all; at worst, the worst result was just to accompany him.

If we can't live together, we want to die together.

While the ninja mocked his negativity from being infected by the magician in his heart, he couldn't bear to really curse the magician, so he could only complain that he was really weak.Even Hei Gang felt a little tired after a big ups and downs, but he had no mood to rest.

I want to say goodbye to him.

I can't ask for it anymore, so at least I want to say goodbye to him.

He hesitated whether to go to him or not.Hei Gang picked up Cang Bing again, trying to calm himself down, but the slight sound of footsteps outside the door still made him unable to bear to be distracted.

The brisk but gentle footsteps, just like that person, now carry countless hesitation.

Footsteps at the door, let him hear his hesitation.

The worry about the unknown future is the same as that day, but it seems to be different.

……

His thoughts could not help but drift back to the day after the rain. The result of the quarrel was still that he and the boy went out again, and when the princess offered to go find him with him, Heigang didn't know how much he was grateful to the princess.

After frantically searching like that rainy night, when the familiar thin figure finally appeared in his sight, Heigang wanted to thank the gods for the first time.

Fortunately, he is still there.

He stood alone among the knocked down gangsters. He was clearly out of danger, but he still stood there until the crowd who bypassed to avoid the conflict gradually stopped detouring, and he stood there.

Overwhelmed.

Heigan could see his hands shaking.The soft blond hair in the bar once again appeared in his mind, Heigang didn't hesitate any more, he strode forward, ignoring everyone's eyes, and held his hand.

—I don’t know where to go.

—Then let me take you away.

……

He hesitated whether to go to him or not.

He could hear the hesitation of the people outside the door, and he didn't know if it was pain or itching.

After that...the person he put on top of his heart stood in front of him.The ninja watched carefully, seeing that his blond hair, which had lost some luster recently, was extremely warm and beautiful under the setting sun, and the slim clothes were too wide to cover his body, his fingers were thin and pale, like bleached dead trees.

But what is different today, because the sky-blue eyes are more and more clear on the snow-white face.

Hei Gang's heart felt as if he had been hit hard by something, and then he saw a face that had been disguised for half a year without a single crack, revealing a trace of familiarity from the depths of his heart.

Heigang knew that it was that that made him fall willingly.

——That is the tenderness and affection that a magician has never lost.