Baima Weiyang

Approaching step by step, the thangka hanging from top to bottom swayed slightly.I don't know why, when I stood in front of it for a while, my heart was relieved, "I know you are behind." Thangka breathed out.I quickly shouted, "Don't go! Listen to me, okay?"

There was silence.Thangka was only slightly shaken by the wind driven by his clothes, and there was no major movement.

"It's the last time." I stroked Thangka carefully, and then slowly pasted it, trying to feel as much of his breath as possible.A delicate fragrance of Buddha drilled into the tip of my nose, and I took a deep breath, trying to engrave this feeling in my mind forever.

"I know that I have caused you a lot of trouble. From now on..." I choked up, and tears rolled down my cheeks, "From now on, I will never bother you again." There was still silence in response to me.But I didn't feel any loss. Although time travel to 300 years ago was not what I wanted, getting to know him was what I longed for.And now, I have no other extravagant wishes, I just hope that he can listen to the last words quietly.

I clenched my teeth tightly and firmly controlled my trembling throat so as not to make too much choking noise.My fingers clenched tightly until my nails were about to sink into my palm, and then I let it go painfully.Covering my mouth and crying silently, I just felt that the functions of my whole body were about to disappear.

"Cangyang Gyatso, I'm getting married... Cangyang Gyatso..." I slid down the thangka slowly, and fell to sit on the cold Aga ground.

Where did I make you angry?Such a simple sentence, but I don't even have the courage to ask it out. I'm afraid that your answer will shatter the last hope in my heart... Yes, you are a living Buddha revered by thousands of people in Tibet. How can the responsibility of all beings be entangled by the feelings of children?

By your side, I will never be able to see through the world of mortals.Those are just excuses I made up to deceive myself.Everything is just to be closer to you, even a little bit.

There was a dull pain from the nose to the mouth, and the trachea seemed to be tightly grasped by a cold hand, so uncomfortable that I couldn't breathe.I took a deep breath and suppressed the urge to cry loudly, "Master, I'm here to say goodbye to you. I can no longer practice with you." I paused, and smiled self-deprecatingly. But it couldn't stop falling, "Maybe you've been impatient for a long time. But it doesn't matter, I won't bother you in the future. In this way, you should be much more relaxed..."

I stared blankly at the shaking thangka, as if I saw his handsome back.Stretch out your hand to caress it, imagining the outline, should he be standing like this?I closed my eyes and recalled every warmth he gave during these days... A look, a smile, even a scolding, all echoed in my mind so clearly.

After the Thangka, did you sigh with relief, finally relieved?

Cangyang Gyatso, I really like you.

But if you don't want me to appear in your life, then I will go willingly.If that's what you want, I wouldn't hesitate.

I laughed lowly, took two steps back, and knelt down slowly.My forehead was pressed against the icy Aga ground, but I couldn't feel the slightest bit of coolness, but hot tears fell like crazy.

"Master, I'm leaving. I will live a good life, and you have to take care." I stood up, wiped off the cold tears on my face, looked up at Thangka deeply, and then turned around gritting my teeth walked out quickly.The pain on the knee no longer feels any, and even the feet, the steps are light and there is no trace of heaviness.I closed my eyes and let the last tears in my eyes slide down my cheeks.It turns out... this is the feeling of being hollowed out.

I twitched the corners of my mouth with some self-mockery. When I walked to the corridor outside the Tsochin Hall, Tashi Phuntso was leaning on the pillar with a relaxed expression, with his hands folded on his chest.I knew he wouldn't ask, but I still pretended not to care and wiped the corners of my eyes, it was really uncomfortable to be dry.

"Let's go!" I tried to put on a relaxed tone and walked past him.Tashi Pingcuo put down his hands and followed behind him slowly.I walked with big strides, looking at the scenery of Drepung Monastery all the way.A gust of wind blew, and I greedily inhaled the unique Buddhist fragrance of the temple.I'm going to say goodbye to all this, maybe I won't come again in the future.

The curling smoke that lingers all year round, the golden mani tube, the snow-white long steps, the ochre-colored white horse-grass wall collar, and the strong fragrant cloth swaying in the wind... I stiffened my back, although tears were barely held back. , But the slowly tearing wound in my heart pulled my nerves one by one.

Seeing that I stopped suddenly, Tashi Pingcuo walked up quickly.His breath was getting closer and closer, and the wind he brought out was a little rushed.It wasn't until I saw the handsome eyebrows and black eyes that a warm current suddenly flowed through my heart.

"I'm so tired..." There was a smile on the corner of his mouth.He paused, and put his arms around my shoulders.My forehead was lightly pressed against his chest, and a hot breath surrounded me.The slightly thin palm stroked my hair softly, and I closed my eyelids relaxedly. At first, I felt a tingling sensation, and then slowly there was no other feeling.

Suddenly, a warm and dry kiss fell on my forehead.I raised my eyes and looked at Tashi Puncuo dimly.He was looking at me intently, his eyes soft as water.I couldn't help laughing, although he never said it, he must really like me.Maybe with him, I can live happily and peacefully for a lifetime.

I sniffed hard, reached out and grabbed his skirt, and said a little rascally, "Tashi Pingcuo, carry me on your back." He coughed with his fists clenched, pulled my hand down with great effort, and looked away from him. "Just recite it, why are you talking so coquettishly?" I kicked him involuntarily. "Hey——" he quickly lowered his body, supported my knees, and said sullenly, "Stand up!"

"Hmph." I pulled my legs back angrily, and turned my face away.He looked at me, but still turned his back and lowered his waist.I hugged his neck with a smile and jumped up.After adjusting the posture, tears suddenly fell down.

Tashi Pingcuo, I'm sorry.

I know I shouldn't be like this, but I really can't cry frankly for another person in front of you.Forgive me, I don't even have the courage to admit my sadness.

Tashi paused for a moment, as if he sensed something was wrong with me, and when I exerted strength with my hand, I leaned forward uncontrollably.My heart was shocked, and I quickly wiped away my tears.Tashi Puncuo didn't look back, just glanced back, but I knew that I was already within his sight.

I breathed a sigh of relief, stunned for a while, and finally adjusted my mood a little.Leaning his chin on his shoulder, he rubbed hard, and finally found a less strenuous position.Turning his head sideways, his eyes were on his side face, the somewhat stern curves were no less dazzling than the sun.His profile is also very nice.I thought blankly, and leaned over again.The exhaled air unconsciously hit Tashi Puncuo's ear, itching him so much that he turned his head and glared at me, "Be quiet for me."

I shrunk my neck and turned my head to the other side.Lying lazily on his back, I couldn't help but yawned, suddenly felt a little itchy in my throat, and couldn't help coughing.

"Did you not sleep all night last night, and you caught a cold?"

I was taken aback, and panicked, "You...how did you know?" Tashi Phuncuo just hummed, and didn't answer.My heart was getting even worse. He couldn't be standing by the window, looking at me like a ghost all night, right?Just as I frowned, a warm palm touched my forehead.I opened my eyes wide and looked at his profile.

Tashi Pingcuo paused for a moment, then withdrew his hand, "Fortunately, it didn't burn, otherwise..." He raised his eyebrows and gave me a sideways look.I swallowed dry saliva, "Isn't it still burnt?" Tashi Pingcuo turned his eyes and looked forward, and he didn't speak for a long time, and he didn't know what he was thinking.I lay lazily on my stomach, bouncing around, and gradually dozed off.

Although very sleepy, it was somewhat uncomfortable to fall asleep like this.Not long after, a jolt woke me up.I raised my head suddenly, my consciousness was still a little hazy, and when I glanced down and saw the "water stain" on Tashi Pingcuo's shoulder, I woke up completely.I was frightened in a hurry, but I was afraid of being discovered by him, so I could only stand there at a loss.Swallowing dry saliva, I slowly leaned over, my hands pretending to be casual on the "water stains", moving back and forth once in a while.

"Don't rub it! It's already seeped in."

A slightly muffled voice came.I was taken aback, and leaned over with a smile, "You know?" Tashi Pingcuo simply ignored me, let go of my hand and put me down.Only then did I realize that I was already in front of Rajang.

"Go in and tidy up." Tashi Pingcuo touched the back of my head. I always thought this action was very masculine, so I couldn't help but struggled, but unexpectedly got a harder push. "Go!" I was forced to take two steps forward amidst the yelling.Just as he was about to step into the wooden door, there was a breath behind him.

Suddenly, my eyes were covered with one hand, and a moist kiss fell on my cheek.

"Don't cry like that again, huh?" The warm breath lingered in my ears, and Tashi Pingcuo's other hand was softly but firmly restrained on my waist.The hot palms were pressed against the eyelids, and there was a heavy damp heat feeling.Such a warm posture, so soft that I almost shed tears.

"Yeah." I bit my lip and nodded.Tashi Pingcuo suddenly let go of his hand, and white light burst into my eyes, causing an inexplicable pain.He reached out and stroked my hair, and snorted hotly on the back of my neck, "Tomorrow, we will return to Qiongjie."

I don't know how I got into Rajang, but the fingernails of the hand holding the door frame have sunk deeply into the soft wood.Fortunately, my back was facing, otherwise I really don't know what expression to use to send Tashi Puncuo away.

His tenderness and concern are like water full of salt, burning to the wound in my heart, making a "stinging" sound.Even though I have decided to marry him, I am still so afraid that one day I will let down that deep affection.I know him so well, even if I look at him coldly and yell loudly, I will still be the first to rush to me regardless.

"Heh..." I laughed at myself, lying flat on the bed, staring blankly at the colorful patterns on the ceiling.The tears on the pillow were wet and dry, and I fell asleep several times in a daze, but was awakened by the same dream again and again.

I can't remember what I dreamed of, but my body is so tired, but my heart still refuses to fall asleep.After tossing and turning for a long time, I still couldn't sleep well.I simply got out of bed, put on a coat, opened the window, and a wet chill hit my face.

I was taken aback, it turned out to be raining.Summer in Lhasa is rainy at night, but I have been here for so long, but I have never really seen it.Looking at it now, the pouring rain wets the fragrant cloth on the window frame, every time it evokes melancholy emotions in my heart.

I stretched out my body and let the continuous rain hit my face in twists and turns.

Suddenly, a line of thunder flashed across, illuminating the distance for an instant.I was startled, but when I saw it clearly, I covered my mouth with my backhand trembling.Under the torrential rain curtain, the crimson figure was standing stiffly, and the rain kept falling on him, sliding down the beeswax rosary in his hand.

I stared blankly at the pale face... The eyes as black as Xia Ye were looking at me steadfastly... With a "bang", the tense strings in my heart seemed to be broken, sourness, pain, inexplicably gathered together The emotions came pouring out like a flood.

I grabbed the cloth umbrella and broke into the rain curtain. The cold rain fell, and my shoulders trembled uncontrollably from the cold.Stepping on the rain-soaked Songba shoes, when I ran in front of him with heavy steps, there was almost no trace of heat from the inside to the outside of my whole body.

Cangyang Gyatso's eyes were as black as black jade, and the rain slid down his pale face to his chin.Although it was covered with an umbrella, it could not stop the already soaked cassock from dripping down.Because he was half a head taller than me, I could only hold the umbrella up high, and the rain hit my face and body in bits and pieces, but every part was numb to the point of no feeling.

"Cangyang Gyatso..." I stared blankly at him, a layer of mist gradually formed in my eyes.His gaze was a little blank, as if it had penetrated me.After a long while like this, he slowly lowered his eyes... "Don't take it anymore." The cold voice came through the sound of rain, and he suddenly raised his hand, and his slender fingers dug into the handle of the umbrella that I was sticking to. palm.

With a sound of "pa--", the oilcloth umbrella fell to the ground on its back.

I watched dumbly as the continuous raindrops fell on the umbrella surface, and suddenly my hands tightened, and I was about to raise my head, but my waist was pulled heavily.Suddenly, the fiery lips pressed down without warning, and I was startled, but after realizing it, I could only bear the almost suffocating tossing and turning.

The long-hidden repression and restraint spread to my lips through the hot temperature, and the hot rubbing pain burned into my heart like a torch.I was weeping in a trance, only to hear the shortness of breath continuously hitting my cheeks and the tip of my nose.

The soft moonlight shone through the rain, miraculously.I stood there in a daze, letting the faint smell of wine spread under my tongue and between my teeth, and letting the low voice chant next to my ear like a mantra, "Dawa Zhuoma, I have violated the precepts." .”