Baima Weiyang

"Hey, wake up, don't go to sleep, the tickets to the Potala Palace are all wasted for you! Hey, hey——" A familiar voice seemed to be echoing in my ears, subconsciously thinking I opened my eyes, but the eyelids were heavy as if stuck with glue.

Suddenly there was no sound around, and I was a little uneasy, but I heard two "papa", and my cheeks were patted back and forth.A little annoyed, he raised his hand and waved it, but before he could hit anything, there was a sharp pain in his heart.

"Ah—" I screamed, opened my eyes suddenly, and sat up instinctively.His head was dizzy for a while, and he raised his hand and knocked twice, but it was a deep pain.It hurts... I took a breath, my body was as tired as if it had been torn apart, I turned my neck back and forth, but I still didn't feel much, when I saw a familiar yet unfamiliar oval face from the corner of my eye.

I was taken aback, and my eyes slowly turned up, but my chest jumped up quickly.Cherry mouth, round nose, almond eyes, faint acne marks on the forehead... When the face of my roommate came into view, my heart was immediately filled with a series of complex emotions. There was an utter loss.

"Weizi, is that you?" He asked in a low voice, but the person on the opposite side immediately raised his eyebrows and looked at me with his hands on his hips, "Nonsense, of course it's me, I've been unconscious for an hour and don't even remember what I look like Already?!"

"Hmm..." I was stunned by her loud voice, and I stretched out my hand to press my temples, and the feeling of dizziness was suppressed a bit.Wei Zi ignored my expression, and continued to talk up and down, "You, you, what's going on, you haven't stopped since you went to the plateau, and the poisonous sun in Shanghai can't poison you, it's fine. I actually got heatstroke, it doesn't look too hot this day..."

There were endless chatters coming from beside him, but the sound was still a bit unreal when it came to my ears.Slowly leaning back, pressing his back against the cool wall, he felt slightly relaxed.

Looking around, gray walls, square pillars, narrow windows, and purple cardboard cushions, it seems that he slept in an infirmary in the Potala Palace.The decoration of the room is very familiar, somewhat like an ordinary monk's house.I was looking back and forth, but my head hurt again.I frowned and hurriedly forced myself to stop thinking.

After babbling for a full 5 minutes, Wei Zi swallowed dry saliva with difficulty.Seeing that I had been silent and didn't reply, she suddenly changed her expression and bent down, "What's the matter, why are you so silent? Could it be that the heat hasn't dissipated yet? Or is there some other discomfort?" See I still didn't respond, and Wei Zi's face suddenly collapsed, "Don't scare me! The doctor clearly said that you are fine!"

Seeing that she was so anxious, she poked my forehead for a while, touched my face for a while, and finally shook my shoulders with both hands. I couldn't hold back one of them, and I burst out laughing.Wei Zi looked at me with no expression on his face, but the circles of his eyes suddenly turned red.

I was taken aback, and quickly stretched out my hand to hold her, "Ah, why are you crying? I'm fine, I'm just dizzy!" Wei Zi sniffled, looked closely at my face, and made sure After I was really fine, the red circles under my eyes faded away.

Seeing her like this, I couldn't help blaming myself and wanted to apologize again, but Wei Zi suddenly looked away, "Oh, if you collapse here, no one will accompany me to sing K and eat buffet It's..."

I paused, dare love is for this? !Hastily gave her a mouthful of "bah", and the little thief made a grimace with a smile.I also laughed, and my mood seemed to be much clearer all of a sudden.After laughing, Wei Zi suddenly stood up and looked at me seriously, "Bai Ma! How are you doing? Are you still dizzy? Do you want to lie down for a while?"

"Bai Ma?" I was taken aback, and Wei Zi couldn't help reaching out and tapping my forehead, "What? I fainted for a while, and I don't even remember my name?!"

"Hiss..." I took a breath and glanced at her resentfully.How can I not remember, but, no one has called me that for a long time.Thinking about the soreness in my eyes, I sniffed and hurriedly covered it.

Suddenly remembering her question, I just shook my head.Pushing away the pulu blanket on my body, I reached out and took the backpack next to the bed and threw it on my shoulder, "What can I do, it's ready. Let's go, continue to visit!" Then I remembered something , "By the way, where are Awen and Xiaoyou?"

Wei Zi also turned around and picked up the backpack hanging on the back of the chair, paused and said, "They were worried about you at first, and wanted to do their filial piety by your hospital bed. But it was hard to get the tickets. It’s expensive to die, so I was driven to continue the tour!”

Listening to her witty description, I couldn't help laughing out loud again.Wei Zi walked out the door without paying attention, and I followed behind, looking at her back, my eyes suddenly became wet.This roommate, who lived with me for a year, cared about me more than anyone else, even though he was always making fun of me.

"It's great to see you again." I said softly, bowed my head and walked a few steps.I thought the voice was so soft that only I could hear it, but just as I stepped over the threshold, Wei Zi, who was walking in front, suddenly turned around and came back, "What are you talking about, you are so scary in broad daylight!"

"Okay!" I smiled and pushed her, "Sister, please forgive me today, and you will make me dizzy again." Wei Zi gave me a white look, but didn't pursue it any further. He reached out and took out his mobile phone, dialed a series of numbers, and then began to chatter.

"Where are they?" Seeing that she hung up the phone, I couldn't help asking.Wei Zi threw the phone back into the bag, and sang in vain, "East Hall, let's go!" He walked out in small steps, but when he looked back, he found that I was still in the same place, and hurriedly turned back to pull I said, "Let's go! I'm still waiting for eight sedan chairs to be lifted!"

I didn't respond, but she hurriedly dragged me through the crowd.After folding for a while, Wei Zi suddenly stopped, "Mistake! We don't know the East Hall, where can we find it?" She wiped off her sweat and looked at me, but was taken aback, "Hey, you go Where?!"

Relying on memory, I passed through the spacious Deyangxia, went up the escalator, passed through the Dasungegou Corridor, and walked to the East Hall of the White House. Before the old door knocker, I subconsciously stopped.Wei Zi chased up from behind, and asked pantingly, "Hehe, how do you know the way, and you seem to be very familiar..."

Not in the mood to pay any attention to her anymore, I stood by the gate of the palace dumbly.Turning your head and looking elsewhere, the eaves are protruding and the copper tiles are gilded. Whether you are looking far away or gazing up close, what you see is the Potala Palace 300 years later.

The tourists flocking in and out are all dressed in modern clothes, and the voices of people come and go, mixed with dialects from all over the world, and even foreign languages.This once heavily guarded palace is no longer what I am familiar with.There was only one thought in my mind for a moment.I'm back, I really have to come back, this time and space belongs to me but without you...

Stretching out his hand to caress the authority stick made of cloth and silk, he only paused for a moment, when the shoulder was suddenly pushed by the micro.I was stunned, and turned around to look around, only to find that the tourists behind me had already started to urge and complain in small voices.

He hurriedly tried to leave, but was pushed in by the sudden rush of people.Stumbling across the threshold, his vision suddenly went dark.When I raised my eyes, I was facing the golden plaque in the center of the north hall, with the four characters "Zhenci Suijiang" written on it. Below the plaque is the magnificent Dharma seat.

"This is the East Hall of the Potala Palace. It was built between 1645 and 1648 AD. It is located in the center of the fourth floor of the White House. It is the largest hall in the White House, with a total area of ​​670 square meters." The voice of the female tour guide from some travel agency was high. He explained, "Look, everyone, this is the throne of the Dalai Lama, and the plaque hanging above it is written by Emperor Tongzhi himself."

A group of people looked up and followed the direction she pointed, and the hall was full of black heads, "This East Hall is the main place for major events held by the Ganden Pozhang political-religious regime of the Tibetan local government. The enthronement ceremonies and pro-government ceremonies of successive Dalai Lamas are the places where the imperial edicts are read out and senior officials are appointed..."

With a sudden pain in my heart, the sound of the tour guide's explanation, accompanied by the tourists' messy discussions, slowly became faint in my ears.Stretching out my hands to grab the fabric on my chest, I leaned against the pillar with my body tilted.

"Bai Ma, what's wrong with you? Are you feeling unwell again?" Wei Zi's anxious voice came.I raised my hand and rubbed my cheeks, wiped away the tears from the corners of my eyes, secretly warned myself not to do this again, and hurriedly smiled at her, "I'm fine, maybe there are too many people in the hall, I feel a little dizzy .”

"Can it last? Do you want to go back to the infirmary and lie down for a while?" Wei Zi asked while holding my hand.I waved my hand, and slowly scanned the hall again, "No. I want to look here again, maybe I won't have the chance in the future..."

The surrounding voices were too noisy, almost covering the rest of my words.Seeing that I persisted, Wei Zi didn't say anything.After walking around the East Hall all the way, I still didn't meet Ah Wen and Xiao You. After discussing with Wei Zi, I decided to just wander around on my own.Although there is no tour guide, but for me, this is a lot easier.Because I'm really scared, if I see something that can bring back memories, will I lose control to the point where I can't imagine...

When I started to visit the Red Palace, my eyes were already wet.When he came out of the mandala hall in a daze, crossed the corridor, and walked into the hall of the three realms, the suppressed feelings in his heart had already floated up bit by bit.The Buddhas in the room were enshrined densely, and tens of thousands of pairs of solemn and solemn Buddha eyes shot towards me in unison.The helplessness and fear were exactly the same as back then.

Withdrew in a hurry and moved westward with the flow of people. When we arrived at the Hall of Changshou Leji, there were more and more tourists, and the whole hall was filled with porcelain.I stopped outside the temple gate, my legs were so heavy that I could no longer lift them up.The tourists behind me rushed up and kept complaining to me, "Oh, why don't you leave?"

But I have no way to respond, because the tears have burst down like a bank.Looking up, there are more than 2000 Buddha statues, including thousands of Buddha statues of Amitayus, and the guardian deity of "Ege Zedi" and the statue of Tsongkhapa in the niches along the wall. This place is no longer what it used to be.But why is there still the smell of him floating in the air?

"Changshou Leji Hall was originally the residence of the sixth Dalai Lama, Kadangji. Around 1782 AD, the eighth Dalai Lama changed this palace into a Buddhist hall. His life is very legendary." The tour guide not far away paused as if he was trying to tell a joke, "As the leader of the strict disciplined Gelug sect, he was romantic by nature and wrote many love songs and poems. It is said that these poems They were all written for his lover Maggie Ami, but it is a pity that this kind of love is not tolerated by the world, and they separated in the end."

"No, it's not!" I shook my head excitedly, but the tour guide didn't hear my voice and led a group of people forward.Instead, a few tourists nearby looked at me suspiciously, "What do you mean?"

"Cangyang Gyatso's lover is not Maggie Ami, and he doesn't love Maggie Ami." I said in a low voice.The tourist beside him was stunned, "That's not right. 'From the top of the mountain in the east, the white moon came out, and the face of Maggie Ami gradually appeared in his heart', listen to this poem, he Who could your lover be if it’s not Maggie Ami?!”

"No, no. His favorite person is Dawa Drolma, and he only loves Dawa Drolma. Those love poems are all written for Dawa Drolma..." I kept repeating.The man's expression became more and more suspicious, "How do you know?!"

"Because..." A sob choked up in his throat, and tears rolled down uncontrollably, "Because I am Dawa Dolma." The man's eyes widened immediately, and he looked at me up and down with his mouth open, and finally he refused He walked away with a look of contempt.

I couldn't help laughing, but then my mouth was full of tears.Wei Zi next to me was stunned by my words, and it took me a while to think of pulling me, but I gently waved away.After walking a few steps uncontrollably, I suddenly fell to my knees in front of the fence, and looked up at the high throne, which was empty.

"Did you see it? I said we were in love once, but no one believed me. Could it be that all this was just a dream?" There was a tearing pain in my chest, which was unbearable, and I burst into tears, "Where are you? Didn’t you bring me with you everywhere, why did you leave me behind? Tsangyang Gyatso, Tsangyang Gyatso..."

No matter how I call his name, no one will answer me anymore.It hurts so much, it hurts like thousands of knives, but I can't die or faint, so I have to bear the clear pain so clearly.Is this the result I have to bear?

How the crowd around me reacted was completely out of my mind.I have no time to take care of it, and I don't care, whether it's a series of strange gazes or whispered discussions.

Wei Zi reached out to help me several times, but he couldn't move my weak body.Until the security guards were alarmed, and I realized that it would be useless to go on like this, I raised my hand to wipe away my tears, and walked out of the Changshou Leji Hall numbly under all kinds of complicated and colored eyes.

Along the way, Wei Zi kept asking questions, but I didn't want to say anything.Although we are really good friends with her, if I told her that I traveled back 300 years and had an affair, would she believe it?Even if she believed it, even if she didn't think I was crazy, she couldn't empathize with me.For me now, any consolation has no effect.

I didn't want to visit the other halls of the Red Palace, so I went directly to the West Hall according to my memory.It's also not the same as it was 300 years ago.Above the graceful and luxurious throne hangs a plaque of "Yonglian Chudi" written by Emperor Qianlong, and the colorful murals around it are engraved with the achievements of the fifth generation.

I slowly scanned the scenes in the hall one by one, and finally my eyes stopped on the high throne.This is the place where Tsangyang Gyatso was enthroned and deposed. Because of his ill-fated life, later Dalai Lamas and Lamas were unwilling to be enthroned here.It is also because he deviates from the scriptures and does not abide by the precepts, so he is the only Dalai Lama who did not set up a stupa in the Potala Palace after the fifth generation.Even his statue was only placed in the north corner of the Guru Hall.

"I'm sorry, although I know you won't blame me, but before I met you, I really didn't know that all the criticism you received was because of me..." I said softly, and the hot tears in my eyes were all over the place. cover up.His chest heaved and inhaled vigorously, and it seemed that he could still smell the thin fragrance of Buddha.

Do you really have to leave like this?I looked at the majestic white shadow immersed in the sunset in the distance, and my heart was emptied little by little.Maybe it's the same everywhere without you.But walking away step by step like this, your breath is getting weaker and weaker, why does my heart still hurt so much?

After a night of insomnia in the hotel, when the morning light shone through the window, I made a decision.After leaving a note to Weizi who was still asleep, I got up, dressed and washed, walked out of the hotel and took a taxi to Drepung Monastery by myself.

The scent of turpentine and ghee is floating in the air, and the fire in the mulberry stove is jumping, and the mulberry smoke is curling up.Golden roof, white horse grass wall collar, swaying and fluttering fragrant cloth... In the deep lanes of Drepung Monastery, the wall skins on both sides have long been peeled off, revealing uneven wall bricks.

I stretched out my hand and stroked it nostalgicly, and the memories in my heart floated up little by little.It was that Larang, where I once hid under the window sill and secretly watched him meditating in the room.It was also here that I watched jealously as he gave Maggie Ami his rosary.And that night, he broke the precept and kissed me in the rain...

Tears welled up again, completely blurring my vision.I walked in a trance, passing through all the places where his breath remained, at this moment, it seemed that he had returned to me.

Walking up the long steps unconsciously, I slowed down and looked down at the stone bricks under my feet.This step road is uneven and has a huge slope. I often trip over the gravel under my feet while walking.Every time at this time, there will always be a hand reaching out to catch me in time, and then a cold gaze will grab me until I blushed and bowed my head to admit my mistake.Probably from now on I will never fall again, because I have lost the capital to fall...

The tears seemed to flow away, and the fundus of the eyes felt dry for a while.I stared blankly at the simple gate of Drepung Monastery, the swaying incense cloth kept flapping in the wind, and the golden mani tubes were neatly arranged on the wheel frame.

Suddenly the sun flashed, I raised my hand to cover my eyes, and when I opened it again, I saw a crimson figure walking down the mountain road, followed by a girl in a rouge-colored Tibetan robe.The girl was looking around, not looking at the road at all, she was still running and jumping, and bumped into him who was walking in front within a few steps.

He had no choice but to stop and poke her on the forehead while admonishing her, but after talking for a long time, she still had a silly look on her face.There was nothing wrong with him, he suddenly sighed softly, "How can you put me at ease..." When she heard this, she immediately lowered her head, with a very unhappy expression on her face.

Watching those two figures gradually fade away, I laughed softly, "I just want to make you feel at ease." The hoarse and bitter voice echoed in front of the empty temple gate, but unfortunately, You will never hear my answer again...

He walked in a daze for a while, and when he came back to his senses, he found that he had reached the turning path.This is the place where I met him for the first time. On that day, the sky in Lhasa seemed to be so blue, with a few slender clouds floating in the faint horizon of the mountain depression.

There was no one on the turning path, so I closed my eyelids and went retrograde again.After walking a few steps, I heard the sound of a mani tube turning in my ear, "thrilling——" The sound was getting closer.

He opened his eyes strangely, but saw the crimson figure again.He was pushing the mani tube up and down, and the sunlight shot through his fingers with golden light.

Why did the illusion appear again?I frowned in annoyance, and the man in front of me raised his head suddenly, his eyes swept in my direction, as if he saw me.I was startled, rubbed my eyelids vigorously, and when I opened them again, not only did the figure in front of me not disappear, there was even a slight smile on that handsome cheek.

My mind suddenly became a mess, and I opened my mouth for a long time before stammering and asking, "You... are you a human or a ghost..."

The person on the other side was taken aback for a moment and walked towards me.I was so scared that I stepped back, but my right wrist was suddenly pulled, and I bumped into the crimson figure.A warm hand pinched my cheek involuntarily, and twisted it back and forth heavily, "Ah—" I screamed in pain, but my eyes quickly became hot.

"It's really you? I'm not dreaming, am I..." Tsangyang Gyatso touched his cheek with trembling hands, and looked down at me tenderly, "Fool, I'm in tears from the pain, I still don't know what I am Isn't it true?" As he spoke, he reached out to wipe away the tears on my face, and kissed my forehead tightly with his hot thin lips.

"I... I really didn't expect to see you again..." Weeping and shaking my head, the tears fell down like a broken thread, my throat throbbed for a while, the pain made me almost speechless, "Buddha waited I'm so good, so good, better than you..."

Cangyang Gyatso couldn't help laughing when he heard this, rubbed the top of my head, and suddenly hugged me horizontally.Spinning around in the air quickly, I was so scared that I reached out and hugged his neck, raised my eyes to meet his clear eyes, and looked at him for a long time, the happiness in my heart overflowed wave after wave.

"How did you get here? Is there something you're hiding from me?" He asked casually, but he didn't care much in his heart. After thinking about it, he quickly answered before he could answer, "Forget it." Forget it, I won't pursue any of these with you, but you are not allowed to leave me again! I didn't care about the past, but now that you are in my territory, you don't even think about going out!"

Cangyang Gyatso looked at me and sighed softly, "Why are you still the same as before, I don't know how to be more reserved."

"Reserved?!" I was stunned for a moment, and then snorted, "How can I get you if you are too reserved?" As soon as the words fell, "Ouch...", I was hit hard on the forehead, and I turned my head , laughing and close to his ear, "Cangyang Gyatso, we have been separated for so long, look..."

Before I finished speaking, my lips were suddenly pressed by the warm fingers. I couldn't help but stared at the person in front of me in puzzlement, "There is no such person in this world. Tsangyang Gyatso died in 300 years He died of illness by the Qinghai Lake before, and I am no longer him."

Hearing these words, I felt sad in my heart. After thinking about it, I still smiled, "That's right, you will be happier than him." I cleared my throat and asked sharply, "How dare you ask?" Who is your brother?"

He smiled lowly, "Your lover, your lover alone..."

(Finish)