miss a useless name

44.

Yu Yan was so preoccupied that he couldn't sleep more and more, and his insomnia was so severe at night that when he was dragged out of the bed by Cheng Shensheng in the morning, he rarely got up angry.

"What are you doing? I'm fine today."

Cheng Shen pinched Yu Yan's shoulder and pushed him into the bathroom, squeezed the toothpaste and poured mouthwash thoughtfully: "Why are you alright, you have to help me with work."

"What work?" Yu Yan thought of the more than 1 pieces of data yesterday, and angrily threw the toothbrush into the mouthwash cup: "I won't do it!"

Cheng Shen was splashed with water, and he was quite happy to see him lose his temper: "I won't let you deal with the data, other things."

He understood it with reason and moved it with emotion: "Everyone has been busy with your matter for two nights, which has delayed a lot of work. It happens that you are free, so come help out with me today."

Cheng Shen originally intended that he was afraid that Yu Yan would think wildly if he was alone, and besides, he wouldn't eat well if he didn't look at this person.He finds something for the other party to do, at least he won't feel empty in his heart.

When Yu Yan heard that he was going to go out, he resisted even more: "I don't know anything about your company." He waved his hands, ready to go back to sleep.

Cheng Shenti slipped the back collar of his pajamas and pulled the man back, and pressed him in front of the sink: "Are you saying you don't understand? When it was just the two of us, why didn't you do operations, planning, and finance?"

"It's not what it used to be, I won't be anymore!"

"Stop messing with me!" Cheng Shen wrapped his arms around Yu Yan's neck from behind, grabbed the toothbrush and slapped it directly into his mouth: "Can I help you brush?"

Yu Yan was really scared of him, pushed Cheng Shen away with his butt, brushed his teeth and washed his face resignedly.

After tossing the hour hand towards eight o'clock, Yu Yan put on his hat and glasses, as if without these two, he would be running naked on the street.

The two went to the restaurant for breakfast, and Yu Yan refused to eat more than a steamed stuffed bun and a glass of milk.

Sitting in the car, Shen was still muttering: "You have eaten too little recently!"

Yu Yan looked out the window, holding his belly in his hands.One is that he has no appetite, and the other is that he vomits after eating. No matter how big his heart is, he dare not stimulate Jingui's stomach.What's more, after taking a shower last night and combing his hair in the morning, he found that his hair was falling out badly.A few strands used to fall off, but now strands fall off one by one.

Arriving at the business unit, Yu Yan politely greeted him and stopped talking, sitting quietly in a corner and listening to Cheng Shen's arrangements.

The nine o'clock meeting officially started, Cheng Shen knocked on the table next to him, and greeted Yu Yan: "Come and help me make the minutes of the meeting."

From the end of the table to the top of the table, Yu Yan traversed the entire meeting room, receiving the baptism of dozens of gazes.He gritted his teeth, unable to refute Cheng Shen's face at this moment, his palms were slightly wet after he sat down, and he still couldn't calm down 10 minutes into the meeting.

His fingertips were covered with sweat, and he stared at the screen expressionlessly, leaving tiny water stains on the keyboard.

It was not the first time to make meeting minutes. He was very good at it during his college internship. With Yu Yan's ability, he should have easily completed it, but he couldn't get the point for a long time. He typed all Cheng Shen's words in a daze, thanks to his fast typing in novels.

Half an hour later, the situation gradually improved, and Yu Yan slowly found the feeling he used to have.During the typing break, I suddenly realized that it was not that he had forgotten how to do it two years after leaving the job, but that it was purely the confusion of mind caused by restlessness.

During the break during the meeting, the participants drank tea, smoked and went to the bathroom, Yu Yan squeezed his brows and leaned back in his seat.

Cheng Shen pushed the water glass over, patted Yu Yan's arm, and then scrolled the mouse to check what he had memorized.

Yu Yan looked at Cheng Shen, a little apprehensive, he knew that what he did was not half as good as before.Cheng Shen obviously also saw this point. The record in the first half of the quarter was simply terrible. The rookie who just entered the workplace was at this level. The latter was slightly better, but it could not reach Yu Yan's level. This is just the simplest job.

He didn't show any emotion on his face, but encouraged him: "You did a good job."

Yu Yan is very clear about his own level, perhaps because he has been used to being oppressed since he was a child and has high demands on himself.He shook his head: "Don't comfort me, I know I did a poor job."

"You've just been away for too long." Cheng Shen knew that Yu Yan was afraid of social interaction and crowds, what he needed at this moment was affirmation and approval.He clapped the project proposal under his hands: "There are still a few days left, are you interested in helping me with a feasibility analysis?"

·

If Yu Yan hadn't left Shengyan Technology back then, or if he hadn't chosen to start a business with Cheng Shen back then, but had joined a securities or investment bank at will, he would have become a well-known financial analyst on the financial street by now.

Therefore, when Yu Yan sent the feasibility analysis plan to his mailbox, he was not surprised or surprised at all.He had seen the other party's dazzling appearance before. Although restrained, he was full of confidence in his bones.

"You have a dedicated financial analyst. You can just see what I do. Whether the project can be done or not depends on the opinions of professionals."

Yu Yan sat cross-legged on the tatami, with bunches of washed grapes in his hand.

Cheng Shen accepted the document and spent half an hour carefully reading it. The result was very beautiful, consistent with the results obtained by his analysts. The advantage was that the opinions were so thorough that he was able to compare with professionals.

"What should I do? After reading your report, I want to fire the company's analysts." Cheng Shen winked at him: "Why don't you come back and help me, anyway, you have resigned."

Writing a project analysis is different from writing an article. The former can draw conclusions based on various data and professional knowledge to make their own judgments, while the latter also depends on the author's inspiration.Yu Yan has no other purpose in making this plan, it's to pass the time.

He refused: "Others have finally found a job in Financial Street, so I won't do the rip-off."

Cheng Shen shrugged: "Then there is only one question I can't figure out."

Yu Yan grabbed a grape and slowly tore off the skin: "What?"

"You go out with me every day, accompany me to meetings during the day, help me write meeting minutes, and sleep with me at night. This feasibility analysis has a total of..." Cheng Shen glanced at the lower left corner of the screen: "30 pages, I am very puzzled When did you write it?"

Yu Yan's peeling hands stopped suddenly.

He suffers from insomnia every night, and even when he falls asleep, he is quickly awakened by nightmares. After waking up, he has no sleepiness, so he simply put on his clothes and got out of bed to write a report. He spent until three or four o'clock, when his spirit and energy were exhausted, and he went back to bed for a while. It's even harder than college entrance examination candidates.

"I..." Yu Yan thought about making up a reason: "I wrote it while you were talking nonsense, and sometimes I also wrote it during lunch break. I don't know if you slept, and you worked until ten o'clock after you came back. I didn't accompany you. Are you at ten o'clock?"

Cheng Shen stared at Yu Yan for a long time, making his whole body shudder, but in the end he didn't say a word, and he didn't know whether he believed it or not.

Then he closed the computer and left a sentence: "Go back to Beicheng tomorrow and go to bed early at night."

After speaking, I pulled up my underwear and went to take a shower.

Yu Yan drooped his shoulders, feeling resistance to the night.It's really painful when you can't fall asleep, especially in the dead of night, when all kinds of thoughts will be magnified, and people can easily fall into a state of collapse.

Cheng Shen has been especially kind to him recently, as if he has undone the unhappiness of the past six months and returned to the old way of getting along.They seem to have really forgotten what happened on the eve of the Mid-Autumn Festival. Sometimes Yu Yan looks at Cheng Shen's face and even feels dazed. Did that night really exist, or was it just a nightmare of his.

Every time this thought pops up, Yu Yan will pinch himself, he confuses dreams and reality more and more, but pain can keep people awake.

Sometimes he wakes up from a nightmare, and he can't get over it for a long time.In the darkness, his heart seemed to be beating like an explosion. He often couldn't breathe, as if many hands were strangling his neck at the same time, covering his mouth and nose.

When he opened his eyes, he couldn't see anything, and his five senses were only hearing. At first, there were noisy sounds, and then some curses were mixed in. Those contemptuous, disgusting, and malicious voices came from all directions.

Everyone was calling him mean, disgusting, gay, sick, on drugs, let him go.And Lin Qiuhua said to him without any warmth: "We just want to live a peaceful and normal life, please make it happen."

In the end, he could always hear Cheng Shen's panting, just like that night, asking him frivolously, "Are you comfortable?"

Yu Yan couldn't even tell whether he was alive or dead. How could a living person be so sad, his internal organs were twisted, his heart and lungs were suffering, and it would be cooked by adding a fire.

Later, realizing that he was still alive, he breathed a sigh of relief, and stared at a certain point in the dark, crying uncontrollably.He cried very smoothly. If a seriously injured and dying person is incontinent, then his lacrimal gland may also be incontinent.

When the tears stopped automatically, Yu Yan knew that his day's pain would probably subside for a while.According to the habit of the previous few days, he should get up and write the plan.

Yu Yan gently lifted the corner of the quilt, and was about to get up when his whole body was suddenly pinned down.

He was startled, and his whole body froze instantly, as if he had just returned to the human world from the terrible hell, and many thoughts suddenly appeared in his mind——

Am I taking my dreams for reality again?

Isn't Cheng Shen taking a shower?

Which ones are true and which ones are false?

Have I sent him the plan?

What's the date today?This is the first day in Chongqing?

He was in unprecedented confusion, and felt a pair of hands gently touch his face, twirling the heartbreaking and cold tears that he shed unconsciously.

Yu Yan was hugged tightly, like iron arms, it hurt him so much, it seemed to crush him, embed him into his body, and become a part of his flesh and blood.

Then, he heard a choked sob, it was Cheng Shen, but he didn't understand why Cheng Shen was crying.

He was suddenly tired again, very sleepy, and when he was about to fall asleep, Cheng Shen's hoarse voice came from his ear: "Honey, let's go to the doctor."

Yu Yan wanted to refute him, but he was not sick, why did he need to see a doctor?But he couldn't tell, he had fallen into a dream.

·

After a strong sense of weightlessness, the plane pierced through the clouds and headed thousands of miles into the sky.

Yu Yan covered his body with a thin blanket, quietly looking out of the window.

After calming down, the stewardess pushed the cart and asked what to drink.Cheng Shen clubbed Yu Yan's arm: "What do you want to drink?"

Yu Yan replied: "Coke."

"Not good." Cheng Shen was a little disgusted: "Soda drinks kill what."

Yu Yan annoyed him very much: "Then why are you asking me?!"

Cheng Shen turned to the stewardess and said, "A glass of Coke and a glass of milk, thank you."

A minute later, Cheng Shen brought a Coke to Yu Yan's mouth: "Here, just give me a sip."

Yu Yan took a sip of the milk easily and realized that the milk was for him, so he asked suspiciously, "Aren't you afraid that Coke will kill that?"

Cheng Shen straightened his back shamelessly: "I have a lot."

Yu Yan didn't want to talk to him at all, and then went to watch Yun.

He felt uneasy, up and down.It was hard to tell whether Cheng Shen, who was choking up in his arms last night, was real or not, because the other party behaved as usual today, not at all as if he broke through his nightmare, and his behavior and words did not reveal any clues.

If it is false, Yu Yan may fall into deeper self-doubt.But if it was true, he didn't forget that Cheng Shen said that he would take him to see a doctor.

Yu Yan was in a trance all the way, and when he came back to his senses, he was already standing at his home in Beicheng.

He came back, half a month seemed to have gone through a purgatory.

A lot of things have been added to this house, probably after Cheng Shen went to the apartment to sort it out after he left, and it is a little more humane than before.

The sweeping robot was working silently. Cheng Shen pushed two suitcases into the house, and wandered in the living room boredly. He is very resistant to the Internet now and never touches his mobile phone unless necessary. Electronic products with display screens will be tense, and hearing prompts will make your heart beat faster.

Cheng Shen answered the phone in the room, and Yu Yan waited idlely, not knowing what to do next, anyway, he was out of work.Concerned about how to pass the time, Yu Yan simply twisted a rag to clean up.

Wipe the cabinets, wipe the countertops, and a layer of dust will accumulate in the house after it has been vacant for a week.

After a while, Cheng Shen came out after making the phone call. Seeing that he was busy, he rolled up his sleeves to help.It was almost noon after cleaning up, Cheng Shen grabbed Yu Yan's hand and helped him apply hand sanitizer.

Yu Yan's fingers were thin and long, and when he stroked them with white foam, they were so slippery and lovely.

Cheng Shen turned on the faucet, and the warm water washed away the foam. He rubbed the back of the other's hand and washed it off. His fingertips were dotted with a thin layer of powder, like the corners of eyes rubbed red by tears on a jade face.

The sound of the water didn't stop, Cheng Shen told Yu Yan as calmly as possible: "Go down and have a meal, I have an appointment with the doctor at one o'clock."

As if a guillotine that was hanging but never fell cut down the head, Yu Yan's whole body became stiff all of a sudden.He turned his head mechanically, realizing that last night was not his dream, but he didn't understand why.

"What doctor?" Yu Yan asked.

Cheng Shen turned off the water, took out a tissue and wiped Yu Yan's hands.Face to face, he replied: "Psychiatrist."

Yu Yan was stabbed, and the condemnation on the Internet is vivid——

"He's disgustingly gay, he's sick!"

"Blooming from a small butt, it has long been played to death."

"Slim and pale, with heavy dark circles under his eyes, is he taking drugs!"

Yu Yan withdrew his hand abruptly, and looked at Cheng Shen incomprehensibly. Others didn't know if he was sick, and Cheng Shen didn't know either?

His voice was icy cold: "I'm not sick."

Yu Yan seemed unable to control himself again, he felt a little resentful, obviously he was the one who kept himself clean, why would Cheng Shen say he was sick?

"I know, you're fine." Cheng Shen grabbed him and said softly, "You just need a little help."

Yu Yan began to struggle, subtle and violent, he wanted to push Cheng Shen away: "I don't need help."

His eyes were red, his chest heaved: "I'm not sick, I'm going to go by yourself."

"Yu Yan, don't get excited..."

Yu Yan shook off him: "Who the hell is excited!"

He stared at Cheng Shen, leaning his back against the cold tiles, his maliciousness was like a poisonous snake's letter, hesitating, trembling, wrapping him frantically.

"You are the one messing around!" Yu Yan roared uncontrollably, "Why don't you fucking go to the doctor!"

Cheng Shen was also going crazy and collapsed.He knew what he did wrong and regretted it, he never thought that Yu Yan would become like this, those hysterical voices were sharp shards of glass, one by one, slowly and fiercely, twisting into his body.

He went to hug Yu Yan, the man had never resisted him so much, punched and kicked, he felt Yu Yan's hatred, so he hugged him even harder, and was bitten on the shoulder by Yu Yan again, it hurt so much.

But he can't let go of Yu Yan, Yu Yan is only him, and he can't let go even if he dies.

"Don't be afraid of words," Cheng Shen caressed the back of Yu Yan's neck, tenderly and patiently, telling Yu Yan over and over again, and also telling himself: "It will be better, it will be better."

"--roll!"

Love is the minion of the devil, it changes people beyond recognition.

Cheng Shen is convinced that no matter what Yu Yan becomes, he will love him without reservation.

It's just the price, it's too painful.