Hey, where is my knife?

A few years ago, Zuo Yan streamlined his luggage on the eve of returning to China.

All the daily necessities purchased in the United States, as long as they think they should be available in China, they are all thrown away.

Three suitcases become two, and then one.

After thinking about it carefully, with the current level of development of domestic e-commerce, you should be able to buy everything... So the last thing I brought back to China was a half box of empty luggage, a computer with stored data, a mobile phone, and some favorite clothes. ,Gone.

Back to a few years ago, when Zuo Yan left for the United States, it was not like this at all.

At that time, he was still relatively poor, and he was very conscious of saving money. He brought almost everything he could, even bowls, chopsticks, and hangers.

Before going to the airport, I went back to the former university and stood for a long time under the Yeying wishing tree behind the teaching building.

In this place, he had spent some unforgettable years and loved one or two people.Before leaving, he bent down and picked up a leaf that fell on the ground.

It was just an ordinary leaf, half red, half yellow, and a small gap was bitten by insects, which was not good-looking.

But he solemnly flattened it carefully, sandwiched it in a book of "Leaves of Grass", and took it to a foreign country half a world away.

Zuo Yan doesn't like reading poetry, just because the book is very thin and light, which is very suitable for carrying things that he thinks should be treasured.

He thought, that leaf at least represented his past time and was a part of his life.He wants to take this piece of the past that he cherishes very much, and go to everyone in the future together.

How could I have imagined that just a few years later, the book and the leaves became waste products and were thrown indifferently on the old bookshelf of the rental house in the United States.

Because, that serious and nostalgic little bitterness was obliterated.

The new student is a handsome, tough, confident and sophisticated barrister, and he has lived an enviable and tough life.

In S City, Zuo Yan has been in charge of the gold-lettered signboard of "every lawsuit has never been defeated".Since returning to China, his emotional scum has also made him victorious in all battles and has a smooth journey against the sky.

But now, Qi Yang stood in front of him with a look of disappointment and grievance.

Zuo Yan was still thinking unconscionably—life is really successful, and it's too fucking successful!

Qi Yang's conditions (main star halo + financial strength blessing), can almost meet the sum of all his predecessors.A man of this level is actually caught by his routine.But back then, when he treated others foolishly and sincerely, he was never cherished.

……

"Research and research."

The light at dusk was getting darker and darker, and the lights were not turned on in the whole room.Under the backlight, I couldn't see Qi Yang's expression clearly, I could only hear his lonely voice: "Yanyan, come here."

Zuo Yan froze and did not move.

He couldn't pass, and finally won.At this moment to end and quit the game, he is the perfect winner, "a man who can't even catch up with Qi Yang".This thing is definitely enough to last a lifetime.

And if he doesn't leave, there is only one person fighting on his side, and the opponent is a cute person and a cute dog. If things go on like this, he will be corrupted and lose everything.

If he doesn't go, Qi Yang will come.

"Yanyan," squeezed his hand, his voice was nasal and hopeful, "Yanyan, can you consider letting me go?"

"..."

"I know that you have encountered many things and suffered a lot before, and I also know that you are tired and disappointed, and maybe you don't want to seriously like anyone anymore. But, can you please try again for me?"

"Chou Chou also likes you. Both of us will be very good, so, just try again for us, okay?"

"..."

In the dark red sunset, Zuo Yan swayed.

In fact, nothing happened, it's just that I just couldn't get back to my senses, as if I was suddenly haunted by something.He could hear Qi Yang anxiously calling his name, but his consciousness drifted away to the sky.

In a white, foggy world, the wise man is full of curiosity, and he is asking questions to the bewildered emotional man.

[You are not happy at all, you are so numb!So you don't like Qi Yang? 】

...How could you not like it.

Otherwise, she wouldn't take the initiative to hook up; she wouldn't ignore his previous scumbag and give him a good face and cook for him; she wouldn't have a broken waist and drink calcium tablets to sing with him every night.

It's just that I feel that there is indeed a gap and that there should be no hope, so I will act like I don't care, and I will be willing to have no desires and desires, and just be friends with benefits.

【...That would be weird. 】

It is very strange, Zuo Yan also thinks it is strange. "Try again for me, okay?" Such a gentle request, why didn't he feel sweet and soft after hearing it, instead his chest felt congested.

Why is it?

If he went back to a few years ago, such a serious confession would definitely make him ecstatic and heartbroken.

He used to long for love so much.

Therefore, he is always full of enthusiasm and treats the people and things he likes very sincerely, even if he gets hurt, he will never look back.Believe in God, believe in fate, and believe that hard work will pay off one day.

But now, it's so scumbag that it's perfect.

I watched others show their sincerity, let go of face, and earnestly strived for and showed it, but blocked all the touch, warmth, and distress that normal human beings should have, and continued to calmly calculate the pros and cons of gains and losses. to win.

……

……

Zuo Yan finally agreed to give Qi Yang a three-month "trial period".

In fact, these three months are not so much for Qi Yang, but for himself.

For several days, Zuo Yan fell asleep holding the smooth bronze body of his new "probationary boyfriend". what is it.

Finally figured it out, it really wasn't Qi Yang's fault.

It wasn't that he didn't like it, but because he suddenly realized at that moment that the young man who used to put the leaves in the book and took them away seemed to have really withered away completely.

Zuo Yan didn't like that young man, but that didn't mean that guy wasn't cute.

Sometimes it is still cute, such as when it rains, I always like to run to the balcony to watch the rolling black clouds excitedly.

When the rain fell, I immediately worried about whether my lover was getting wet, so I called to ask questions.In my spare time, I wander around the school's flea market and bargain, and I can be happy all day long when I find things that are a few dollars cheaper.

But now, the only thing "successful Zuo Yan" cares about is that there will be no traffic jam on the way to work if it rains.

If it is blocked, it will be cursed for a few words, if it is not blocked, it will just pass by with a blank expression, and it will never want to see the strangeness of the rolling black clouds.Expensive antique clocks, orphaned dolls, if you have money, you can buy them casually, disassemble them and put them on the cabinet, and feel that they will be fresh for no more than 45 minutes.

The General Administration seems to have everything, but it seems to have lost something very precious.

In Zuo Yan’s house, there are a lot of scary dolls and a bunch of useless clocks and watches in the living room. In fact, it is because no one else will live in anyway. It’s better to do whatever you want in a lonely place to die.

And now, there are two more cute creatures wagging their tails, who want to live with him from now on.

Sometimes sitting on the sofa and masturbating Chou Chou, watching Qi Yang clumsily helping to adjust the antique clock, I can clearly feel that such a precious thing he lost is still completely preserved in Qi Yang.

I don't know if that person is really stupid, but when he turned his head and smiled at him, he was always as innocent as a boy in first love.This person Zuo Yan feels a little guilty. He has no defense at all, but you are scheming, very inappropriate.

In today's world, it's really rare.In any case, you should not disappoint others.

To be fair, he is a hot-blooded boy, and you should be a boy too.So it's better to water it more and see if the original self can grow back luxuriantly.

……

The probationary period is not easy to disclose in the circle of friends.

In the winter of that year, Li Weidu held parties at home every day, and there were gay gatherings and real-person CS at every turn. One must get off early at the entrance of the community and stagger the entry time.

Even for small gifts bought in the same supermarket, the packaging bag must be removed before entering the door to prevent the contents from being exposed.

When we were at Li Weidu's house, we rarely sat on the same sofa, pretending not to be familiar with each other.At the end of the party, Qi Yang pretended to drop by, and repeatedly "brought" Lawyer Zuo home, Zuo Yan went back and sent a thank you red envelope in the crowd, proving that he was not familiar with him.

They come and go, and the love relationship is as if they are having an affair.

I have to say that the members of the Friendship Group... are really quite dull.

No one thought of the two of them with opposite personalities to go together, and they couldn't even make a joke about them.As a result, the two of them became more and more courageous. They deliberately hung up early in real-life CS situations, took advantage of the heat in the locker room when changing equipment, or went out directly at the party under the pretext of leaning against the corner of the wall in the backyard of Li Weidu’s house. Play a field game under the big maple tree or something, and enjoy the thrill secretly.

Of course, there are times when you can't hold on.

For example, at [-] o'clock on New Year's Eve, Ji Kai made a New Year's call to his online friends one by one.When they got to Qi Yang's place, Judeng was performing a scene that often appeared in the "Eighteen Prohibition" novels - one of the unscrupulous couples twitched wildly, while the other twisted his veins and bit the back of his hand, trying not to make a sound.

What's even worse is that just after Ji Kai finished worshiping Qi Yang's year, he immediately called Zuo Yan.

"Qi Yang, don't, you—"

Damn bitch, failed the probationary period!Unqualified! ! !

"Cough...Happy New Year...Happy New Year to you too, huh...I'm fine...I just came back from a night run, ugh!"

"Woof, woof, woof!" In the outer room, Chou Chou's cry covered a very crisp moan at the end.Ji Kai paused: "Uh, Yanyan, do you have a dog?"

Zuo Yan gritted his teeth and grinned: "Hehe, the wild dogs outside the house, ahhhhhhh..."

Ji Kai: "What, what's wrong?"

"It's okay, the dog, the dog bit me, shit, slow down... woo!"

Ji Kai: "Yanyan, are you okay? Do you want me to take you to the hospital?"

"No, no, myself, oh..."

After tossing half to death, I woke up the next day and received a long list of encyclopedias from Ji Kai on my phone.How to scare away wild dogs, how to deal with being besieged by stray dogs, rabies prevention and vaccine precautions, and especially reminded him not to drink alcohol during the vaccination.

A few days later, I even received the pepper dog spray from Brother Kai kindly sent by online shopping.

Zuo Yan was speechless, so he took the spray and went to Qi Yang, the instigator, to ask for an explanation.Qi Yang: "Hmph!"

"What are you humming?"

"Real CS a few days ago... You actually left me and the first team surnamed Li, talking and laughing with him on the sofa! Do you still have a nostalgia for him? I don't look as good as him Handsome is better than him!"

Is it possible that this is the reason why you are in excessive heat for several days?Men's jealousy, tsk tsk, Zuo Yanfan: "That happened more than ten years ago, boss! Also, don't you know why no one in real CS is willing to team up with you? You bring your own curse Ah, with you, you will lose, you have tried and tested again and again!"

Qi Yang directly blocked the second half: "It's been more than ten years, and you still can't forget him!"

Zuo Yan: "..."

"Yes. His hands are good-looking, and his face is even better-looking, and I'm not as white as him... Woo!"

In fact, Zuo Yan kissed him just to stop his mouth, but he was hugged directly at the waist, fell into a long and soft kiss, and then lifted it high and carried him away.

"what are you doing?"

"Fuck you."

"Fuck, in broad daylight..."

Zuo Yan was very puzzled.According to more than 30 years of life experience, he should belong to the type that is not too easy to fuck.He was once a dead fish, but later his skills were mediocre. I don't know why Qi Yang is so patient. He never gets tired of turning over and over again. He just unlocked countless new poses for him and opened the door to a new world.

Continuing to live the days of back pain and kidney deficiency taking calcium tablets, on the night of the Lantern Festival, Ji Kai's magical TM plot of taking turns calling was repeated again!

"Ugh..."

"Yanyan, what's the matter? You're surrounded by dogs again! Where's the spray I bought for you?"

Zuo Yan's eyes were red, he gritted his teeth hard to resist moaning, and stared at a big wolf dog that kept moving.Yeah, I spray it too!Bring me the spray, I want me to spray the dog!

……

After the spring blossoms, Qi Yang didn't go to a party, Zuo Yan was directly pulled aside by Dr. Li's family members who caught the opportunity, and crazily complained about Qi Yang singled out Li Mingxin.

Only then did I know what happened to someone's body injury that time.

The skin trauma that time healed quickly without leaving any traces, but a piece of skin was rubbed off the eyebrows, and a corner is still missing today.In recent months, Qi Yang has taken this dog-like horn to take hard photos, and there are magazines claiming that this is a newer trend than broken eyebrows.

Then in May, something else happened.

There are several telephones in Zuo Yan's collection of antiques, all of which are still functional.He installed a landline line, equipped with an old American answering machine effect, and put a number in the main business of the law firm. In addition to clients, occasionally a group of friends would call to cheer.

Everyday when I go home and click on the message, I hear Yingjian yelling over there: "Oh, oh, Zuo Yan, I miss you coming to my shop to eat sheep!"

On the side, Qi Yang would show a hooligan smile, pointing to an outrageous part: "Yanyan, tell him quickly, you can eat sheep and sheep at home now, by the way, when are we going to eat hot lamb today?" sheep?"

Everyday has no morals.But that day, I received an unexpected message.

A voice spoke in not-so-fluent Chinese: "Zuo Yan, is that you." Then a long paragraph of apology and confession began.

The voice seemed familiar, Zuo Yan was a little confused.Unexpectedly, for a while, he couldn't figure out which ex the voice belonged to. Later, he did some troubleshooting, and it should be the ABC boy he talked to in the United States before.

I realize that I'm really a scumbag now - after all, I've been living together for a whole year, and my boyfriend, who used to be very serious, is called Andy or James, but now I'm not sure at all!

After so many years, what's wrong with you?I remember that before leaving, he even squeezed a tube of super spicy mustard into other people's soy sauce. If you don't hold any grudges, can you look back and think about his benefits?

Even if he is single, Zuo Yan has no intention of getting back together with ABC brother.However, this argument was useless, and Qi Yang was still jealous again.

Zuo Yan is also very helpless, I really can't even remember his name, what do you expect me to explain?

In the end, after struggling to find a few photos from old emails from several years ago, Qi Yang was instantly overjoyed. It turned out that the younger brother was far less handsome, handsome and threatening than Li Mingxin. liberated.

"How dare you go out as a scumbag when you look like this? Yanyan, your vision was really bad before!"

Zuo Yan: "Don't tell me, I seem to be... I can't see men well, I like scumbags and then scumbags."

"That's why God compensated you and gave you such a good man as me!" Qi Yang was proud, rolling over there like a worm wrapped in a quilt.

Zuo Yan: "..."

It's simply terrifying. Who would have thought that this kind of person was a natural scum before?

……

Zuo Yan is a few years older than Qi Yang, and his physical strength is no longer at its peak, and he is sleepy every time after sex.

Qi Yang would always carry him to wash, and then chat with him who was half asleep and half awake.Zuo Yan said softly "um", feeling a comfortable temperature from the place where the body touches, the bed is also warm, and the embrace is also gentle, making people feel like they hope they will never wake up after being drunk.

As the probationary period was approaching, Qi Yang struggled again for some reason.

Plaguing Zuo Yan to tell him about his ex, Zuo Yan rolled his eyes to the sky, was tired and sleepy, was in a bad mood, and was over-interpreted by Qi Yang, all kinds of distressed, all kinds of depression did not meet him earlier, in that group of people When the slag came out, he fell from the sky and defeated them one by one!

"In particular, we met in the United States back then. We were stuck in a small antique shop on a rainy day and bought the same tie! Tell me what I thought, why didn't I strike up a conversation with you at that time, Otherwise, we have been together for a long time and have to wait until so many years later?"

"Not to mention, you have seen my movies and dramas. In the imperial capital and Z city, we always live within a radius of two kilometers, why can't we meet?"

Just talking and talking, they talked about the downstairs of Zuo Yan's house, which is next to Qiyang University, the decades-old shop selling breakfast fried buns.

Speaking of how filling and delicious the fried bun shop was, Zuo Yan and the daughter of the owner of the fried bun shop used to be classmates. 28 When I went back to China, I went to Uncle Jianbao’s shop. The uncle asked him: “This afternoon, a big star who had studied in this school came to sign for sale. Do you want a ticket? He will come to pick up the one with his signature in the morning. Give it to me."

Zuo Yan originally wanted to go to the signing event.But when I entered the school, I found that the students had long lined up.

What annoys him the most is queuing up, turning around and leaving.

Qi Yang clapped the case: "Yanyan, that's me!"

Lawyer Zuo: Why am I not surprised at all.

Qi Yang: "Because I ate a lot when I was in college, every time I went to buy five meat buns, the boss was very kind and gave me an extra meat bun. So when I became famous and went back to school to sign the book, I even brought a small gift for the boss and tickets!"

"Ah, why are you so lazy and unwilling not to line up? If you come to ask me for an autograph, maybe we will see each other right then!"

"What's the matter with us, why do we have to 'go through the house three times without entering'! Yanyan, do you think this situation is destined or not?"

Zuo Yan: "Well, it should be considered fate."

Qi Yang also felt that it should be considered fate.In a sense, God has worked very hard to hint at the whole process, and all he has to do is put a red arrow exclamation mark on the head of the character and add a note "It's him". I'm afraid he can only blame him for being blind.

It was too late to appear on the stage, so that Yanyan could only bear all the sorrows before Yanyan alone.

No matter how much you can pet him now, it's not enough, but I'm always annoyed that I couldn't hug him when he was weak and wanted to cry.

……

Zuo Yan actually had a slightly different idea in private.

He used to believe in the so-called "predestination", but now, he is more willing to believe that he and Qi Yang have met countless times because of fate, but in the end they can be together mainly because of his maturity, cunning, calculation and charm !

That kind of powerful lethality is a series of devastating blows starting from the LV1 level, being trampled and crushed by countless boss monsters, thrown into the abyss, hit by fireballs, swallowed by plants, pierced by ground thorns, etc. constructed.

Zuo Yan is not grateful for those injuries.

He is grateful that he never gave up.Sometimes life is so wonderful, if you really met Qi Yang when you were young and humble, you might not be able to easily hold that kind of natural scum, but "now" he has done it perfectly.

This is called success, and it is also called skill.

……

On the last day of her boyfriend's probationary period, Lawyer Zuo lived like this——

I was woken up by the bell at seven in the morning, and the sun was not bad.It's just that the air is still a bit cold, wrapped in the quilt and doesn't want to move, someone around him uses his slender fingers to help him pick up the phone and turn off the alarm.

Reluctantly sighing and about to get up, someone held him down: "What are you doing? Are you dazed at work again? Forgot today is Sunday?"

It's Sunday!Instantly relieved, he curled up in a warm embrace in minutes, hugging his waist and laying on the bed.

At nine o'clock, my stomach growled.But he was still too lazy to move, so he swiped a few funny videos with his mobile phone, and the two of them had a silly time together.Can't wait anymore, according to the principle of "dark skin is easier to absorb light and keep oneself warm", Qi Yang, who is less afraid of the cold, tremblingly went to get food, and fed Chou Chou by the way.

Breakfast in bed is shrimp ball noodles in broth and soft-boiled eggs. The noodles are thick and springy, and you will feel full after eating.Then get dressed, get out of bed, and go for a walk with the dog.

The community is located in the bustling area, just a short walk from the door is the riverside. There are a bunch of vegetable sellers on the embankment who are going home after the morning market. It is a good time for a big sale at a low price. Take a few gherkins and two fresh tomatoes. A dozen fresh eggs came, and I bought a chicken leg for Chou Chou.

Although it’s not bad money, I’m still happy to get a zero if I buy too much—Zuo Yan recently concluded a rule, as long as you bring Qi Yang to buy vegetables, there is a high probability that the zero will be wiped off.Although the uncles and aunts who sell vegetables don't watch idol dramas and don't know celebrities, they are good-looking and friendly, which is hard currency in the vegetable market, especially when they smile and have cute rabbit teeth.

Go home at noon and cook together.The dreamy four stoves are turned on together, stir-fried cucumbers and fried eggplants, braised pork with pepper and aniseed ingredients, mixed the soup and covered the pot.The fragrance made Chou Chou howl with greed, but two unscrupulous people gave him a bowl of dog food, Yuan Watchdog hated it very much.

Satisfied with wine and food, the dishes were thrown in the dishwasher.At one o'clock, hug and take a nap.

Woke up at two o'clock, kissed one in a daze, dawdled until three o'clock and continued to go out to walk the dog.Chou Chou has to go for a walk twice a day. On the way, he meets a dog friend, a decadent otaku with glasses. He heard that he has found a good partner recently, and his whole body looks radiant like a new life. I am a little happy for him.

When I got home at five o'clock, I started to make dinner again.I got the fresh fans from my hometown sent by my dog ​​friends.Qi Yang looked at the darkened sky: "Yanyan, you said that this day is so easy, why did it pass so easily?"

Zuo Yan concentrated on rubbing the meatballs: "Normal. Don't you say that the good times pass quickly?"

Qi Yang: "Beautiful?"

Zuo Yan: "Why, do you have an opinion?"

Qi Yang: "No, I just want to ask...Since it's beautiful, can it be considered that I have passed the probationary period?"

END.

The author has something to say:

The tiger landed!

I've just started school, and I'm really, really busy =w= Fan Wai Sa Hua, the update is over for now.I may make up for other things when I am free. The little black house is a bit fleshy, and I really dare not put it on and cover my face.

The Indian tune will open in March or April, so follow Weibo @橙子雨是亲妈妈.

I can finish my work in the middle and late March, and I will make an appointment with the new article "The Rich Man and the Pretending Poor Man" again, and wave your claws!Little angels!