if i could love you

When did Jiao Er discover that girl's Weibo?Probably after Li Li entered the group, she and Li Li got along with each other for half a month.

After the filming ended, Jiaoer swiped various social software on her mobile phone, such as Weibo, WeChat and ins, countless times.When all the social software could no longer find new things, she accidentally logged onto her Weibo account again, found the girl from Li Li's Weibo followers, and clicked in again.

Jiao Er didn't read it for three days, and she updated two more Weibo.One is an innocuous life emotion; and the latest one is a candid photo of Li Li sitting on a chair with his eyes closed and taking a nap, with three smiley expressions covering his mouth.From Jiaoer's point of view, this is really a hidden sweetness.

After Jiaoer saw this Weibo, her heart couldn't stop throbbing.But she still couldn't help but click on the big picture. In the photo, Li Li who was sleeping was still tightly pursed.Jiao Er stretched out her finger and couldn't help but want to touch it. As soon as the fingertip reached halfway, she scolded herself for being worthless, and then retracted it.

When Jiaoer quit the girl's Weibo homepage, she found that Li Li didn't like her this time.

How did Jiao Er discover that girl's Weibo?She was the one who clicked into Li Li's Weibo homepage eight times through her Weibo account No. 20 in the middle of the sleepless night, and the Weibo she had just liked was displayed on it.Jiao Er just glanced at it hastily, and felt shocking.

She wrote on that Weibo, "Sharing a classmate Li Li who read the script seriously".The photo on Weibo is a selfie of her showing only the left half of her face, but the real focus is in the back. Li Li is sitting on a chair about a few meters away from her, reading the script with her head down, not aware of her own into the mirror.

Without any hesitation, Jiaoer followed the girl's profile picture and clicked into her Weibo homepage.Judging from some of the daily life of the crew she posted on Weibo, she should also be an actor.Except for the daily life of the crew, the rest are daily life. Scenery, books and music are the most frequently appeared on her Weibo.Jiao Er read her Weibo from top to bottom, and found that Li Li had left her a comment.She posted a book on that Weibo, and Li Li's comment was "I also like this book very much".Except for a picture of a book in that Weibo post, she also posted a selfie. She is a cool girl with short hair; she has delicate facial features, but she has a weird temperament, which makes people Unforgettable.

Jiaoer also really wants to ask Li Li who is that girl?Why did you leave a comment on her Weibo?How can you let her secretly take pictures?Why are you going to like her Weibo?

In Li Li's last phone call to her last week, she almost asked her out.That phone call was the same as the previous ones, Li Li was in charge of all the topics, and she still said "um" and "yes" absent-mindedly.It was only at last that she mustered up the courage to interrogate her.

"that……"

"Jiaojiao, I..."

She and Li Li, who were at the two ends of the phone, spoke almost at the same time.

"Speak first!"

"It's okay, you go first."

"It's okay, I'm not in a hurry. You go first."

"Then I'll talk about it first. Jiaojiao, we will go to the mountains to film a movie recently. I heard that the signal there is not good, so I may not call you often."

After Jiao Er listened to Li Li's words, she suddenly didn't want to say anything.I don't know when a vacuum cleaner was hidden in the body, and all the strength was sucked out in an instant.

"Yes. Good." Jiao Er replied with a wry smile.

"That's right. What are you going to say?"

"I forgot. That's it!" Jiao Er said in a waned mood.

The relationship between her and Li Li seemed to be suffering from some kind of chronic hidden disease.I can't tell which step went wrong, but it just doesn't feel right.

But life is still going on, and so is the love of all eating and drinking boyfriends in the world.There are probably immortal couples and soul mates, but how many mortals can reach that state?

In the second stop of "Passing By", Jiao Er and his group went to interview a local old man.Eight years after his wife's death, he suffered from Alzheimer's.For several years after that, he would sit in front of his house every evening.He said that his wife is coming back from playing cards, and he will wait here for her to come home.

It happened to be around five o'clock in the afternoon when Jiaoer and the others went.Before they arrived at his house, they saw a gray-haired old man sitting at the foot of the wall from a distance, looking at the place where the setting sun was setting.

"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting here?" Jiaoer squatted down and asked softly.

Only now did the old man notice Jiao Er in front of him. He slowly withdrew his already confused eyes and replied vaguely, "I'm waiting for my old lady. She's about to come back from playing cards."

When hearing this, Jiaoer's nose was already sore.When I wanted to ask something again, I found that my tone of voice changed when I opened my mouth.Fuman Yu noticed her change, patted her on the shoulder, then leaned forward and smiled and asked the old man, "How old are you this year?"

"65." The old man gestured tremblingly with his hand outstretched.

The son on the side explained that the old man is actually 73 this year.And the 65 the old man said happened to be the age of the year his wife died.

"How is your health?" Yu Fuman said, putting her hand on the old man's knee lightly.

"Okay!" The old man replied, looking west from time to time.It seemed that his wife was about to appear around that corner.

Afterwards, Jiang Tu and Liang Jia also asked a few questions.

Later, I learned from my son that the reason why the old man sat in the corner every evening and waited for his wife to come back was because the old man’s wife died of a sudden cerebral hemorrhage eight years ago while playing cards.

"Actually, during the years when my mother was away, my father didn't see how sad he was. He ate when he needed to eat and slept when he needed to sleep. Even I wondered in my heart. Now that I think about it, I probably held it in my heart at the time!" The son explained from the side, with a bitter smile on his face.

Jiang Tu sighed and said, "I want to call my wife now."

Even Fuman Yu, who talked the least, said with emotion, "This is the love of ordinary people! It's very worldly and very touching."

Liang Jia, who usually talks the most, was silent for a long time without saying a word.

When the director team signaled Jiaoer to say a few words, Jiaoer tried his best to suppress his emotions, but when he opened his mouth, tears fell unconvincingly.Jiao paused, trying to stabilize his emotions before speaking.But the tears really couldn't stop flowing down, as abundant as the rain in July.

In the end, Jiaoer could only cover his mouth, and waved his hand to signal to stop taking pictures.A person squatted in a corner with his head buried.The assistant handed over a tissue, and she took it without raising her head, without saying a word, only crying violently.I don't know how long it has passed, when Jiaoer raised his head again after the tears flowed out, the sky was already getting dark.

She was just about to stand up, but found that her legs were numb.She shivered, and her whole body leaned forward.

"Are you ok?"

Holding Jiao Er's shoulder with one hand, she was able to stabilize herself and not fall forward.Jiaoer turned around and found that it was Yu Fuman.

"Aren't your legs numb? I'll help you sit outside for a while. We can't always stay in other people's homes." Yu Fuman stretched out her hand to support Jiao Er as she spoke.

It was only then that Jiaoer realized that he was still staying in that old man's house.And there are no cameras or staff around.

"The program team has left long ago. The filming has long been over." Yu Fuman saw Jiao Er's thoughts and said to her.

After the two of them left the house, there was already nothing under the wall, and the old man was no longer sitting there.

"Where's that old man?" Jiao Er asked.

Yu Fuman sat on the ground casually, and said, "Go home."

"He hasn't waited for his wife yet!" Jiao Er then sat down next to Yu Fuman.

"His son told him that his wife went to his sister's house and won't come back today." Yu Fuman turned her head and glanced at Jiao Er, and continued, "Every day he used this lie to trick the old man back home."

"The endless waiting and repeated lies are really heartbreaking." Jiaoer shook his head and said.

"It's better to have hope than nothing. Maybe it's also a kind of relief." Yu Fuman raised the corners of her mouth, and there was something Jiao Er couldn't read in her eyes.

"Could it be?" Kyle asked.

"I hope so!" Yu Fuman replied.

"Sister Fuman, would you give up everything for love?" Jiaoer thought for a while, and then asked.She knew that she shouldn't ask more about the private lives of the people in the circle unless others told them.But it's rare to meet a "comrade of the same kind", and she can't wait to express the pent-up knots in her heart.

"Is myself included in all of this?" Yu Fuman asked back.Before Jiaoer could answer, she continued, "If I included myself, I wouldn't give up. If I can't even do myself, what's the point of this love?"

"What about the dream?" Jiaoer asked again.

"Dream?" Yu Fuman thought for a while before answering, "I don't know. I don't think my love and my dream are in conflict. I have never made this kind of choice, so I don't know how to answer you .”

"Then you..." Just as Jiao Er uttered two words, she suddenly realized that it would be very abrupt to ask the next question.So she shook her head and said, "It's all right."

Seeing Jiaoer's hesitation to speak, Yu Fuman continued with a smile, "Little friend, life is never just a multiple-choice question. Don't be limited to the framework given by others. He only gives you A, B, and C options, don't you? Just obediently choose from these three options?"

"Then how should I choose?" Jiao Er asked with a frown.

"How do you choose, of course you have to ask yourself. Can't I make the choice for you?" Yu Fuman asked back.

"What about you? Sister Fuman, what would you choose?" Jiao Er continued to ask.

"Oh, I will change it into a short-answer question." Fuman Yu said.

"Short answer questions?" Jiao Er frowned and repeated, apparently not understanding Yu Fuman's meaning.

Yu Fuman looked at Jiao Er's puzzled look, and said, "It's okay, you will understand later."

"Oh." Jiaoer nodded in disappointment.

"Jiaoer, we are the same kind of people. I have seen many prejudices and misunderstandings about us in this society, so I don't think there is any." Yu Fuman paused and continued, "But you are still young and you are protected. Well done..."

Before Yu Fuman could finish speaking, she was interrupted by Jiao Er, "So this road is really difficult?"

"Whether this road is difficult or not, I don't care. If you really want to go on, you have to be mentally prepared. There has never been a free lunch in the world." Yu Fuman replied.

"Okay, it's getting dark. We should go back too." Yu Fuman stood up and said to Jiaoer.

At seven o'clock in the summer, the twilight is low and the light is dim.Where the setting sun sets, a piece of cloud is burnt into a brilliant red, resembling the tail of youth.In the village in the evening, the smoke from the kitchen is curling up, and the evening wind with the remaining warmth of summer gently blows over Jiaoer's face and hair.

"The user you dialed is temporarily unavailable, please try again later!"

A cold mechanical female voice came from the phone.Jiaoer hangs up the phone dejectedly. This is her call to Li Li No.12 tonight, and the result is the same as the previous eleven calls.

This time all the unease and panic did not get the response and appease they deserved.All the knots of depression in Jiaoer's heart were stuck in her throat, making her unable to breathe.She couldn't help but open the window to get some air. This undeveloped town doesn't have the feasting and feasting in the city.The night drowned out the hustle and bustle of the day, leaving a piece of silence.The stars in the sky, one after another, are shining brightly.

Jiao Er remembered that when he was filming in the mountains, the stars were brighter than here.I don't know if Li Li has seen it, and I don't know who Li Li is watching it with.

The author has something to say:

It's going to be very busy at the end of the term. emmm, updates may not be so frequent.