Tibetan love

The person standing in front of me should be Zhu Yujie's mother. He is very similar to his mother, which can be seen at a glance.Suddenly, they told me that Zhu Yujie was on his way to the station, and when he arrived at the station, he suddenly fell down.Sent to hospital for rescue, myocardial infarction.His mother sat on the sofa and wept silently, and his father didn't say a word, and his wife should be next to him.I don't know how to comfort, I can't even believe he just left like this.From the moment I heard that he was gone, I didn't believe it, I didn't believe Zhu Yujie was gone.Myocardial infarction, how could it be?He is still so young, only 28 years old.It was so sudden, wasn't it.We just spoke on the phone the day before yesterday, and the person I've only spoken to is now lying peacefully in bed, and he will never wake up again.

The funeral took place the day after I arrived at his house.When I went to cremate the body, I also went there. When the staff over there were about to cremate Zhu Yujie's body, I finally realized that this person I had a crush on for seven years was really gone.Then, I rushed over, hugging that cold body, unwilling to let go, because I knew I had to tell him something in my heart.I want to tell him that I fell in love with him from the first time I saw him; I want to tell him that I don't want to see the person I like marry someone else; I want to tell him that the pair of rings I gave him was not his wedding A gift, but a testimony that I want to propose to him; I want to tell him that I love him.But I didn't say it, I just kept saying that I have something I haven't told you, can you listen to me, and I will tell you anything you want to ask me, I won't be timid again, I I won't mind other people's eyes anymore, just beg me, don't scare me, wake up.At that time, many people pulled me, many people asked me to calm down, and there was also crying, which was a mess.Suddenly, it was pitch black before my eyes, and I lost consciousness all of a sudden.

When I woke up, Wang Ziteng was beside me, and Zhang Yue was also there. "Jiayi, are you awake? Are you okay? You fainted and killed us all." Wang Ziteng asked me with a serious face.

I said softly that it was all right.But Wang Ziteng cried, saying that he didn't want to see his friend have an accident again. He couldn't accept Yujie's incident until now, but I must never make any trouble again.I didn't speak, my heart was empty, and I didn't know what words to use to describe it.On the other hand, Zhang Yue remained silent.Wang Ziteng told me that Zhu Yujie's family was very anxious when they saw that I was dizzy, but they couldn't get away to take care of me, so they asked Wang Ziteng to take care of me.

I asked Wang Ziteng to take care of Zhang Yue first, and went to Zhu Yujie's house by myself.It was Zhu Yujie's wife who opened the door. Her eyes were swollen and bloodshot.She let me in and asked me if I was okay.Tell me that I didn't wait for me to wake up in the hospital because I had to deal with Zhu Yujie's funeral when I went back, and said sorry to me.

I said it's okay, I'm sorry to cause you trouble.

She shook her head, "Where, you all came to see him off, he must be very happy." I saw her holding back tears, trying hard to smile but couldn't, I suddenly felt sorry for Zhu Yujie.For a moment, I didn't know what to say.

The sudden cry of a child broke the silence between us.She hurried to the room, probably coaxing the child.

I just sat in the living room with a blank mind.Looking up, I saw their wedding photo hanging in the middle.He was wearing a white shirt and a black suit, smiling, just like when I saw him in the etiquette contest before, he was really handsome, even better than that time.I suddenly felt a little regretful that I was unable to attend his wedding and saw him in a suit.At that time, he must have looked better than in the photos, and he was more exciting.

After a while, her wife came out with the baby in her arms.I asked how old the child was and she said it was more than 13 months. I saw the concentric lock on the child at a glance. I asked Wang Ziteng to bring it to Zhu Yujie.

She said that these are all Yujie's things, and she sorted them out for him in the past few days.I said can I take a look?She said nothing, you see.His wife stood up holding the child, choked up and said: "He often stays in the study when he is free, and told us not to touch his things. A few days ago he even said that he was going to visit friends in N City, how could he think..."

I didn't speak, and silently flipped through his belongings.Then I saw a box and opened it. It was a watch, which was the gift I gave Zhu Yujie at that time.My hands were shaking so badly that my heart seemed to be jumping out.The watch also looks brand new, but it has stopped running, so it must be broken, because the time has been stopped at 8:20.

She said that Yujie had been wearing this watch since she met Yujie, but it was broken.

"How bad?"

"He forgot to bring it that day. His brother brought the child with him at night, and the child didn't know what happened. It was broken and he couldn't walk. He lost his temper at that time."

"This is the birthday present I gave him at the time. It's been too long, and I almost forgot about it." I looked at the woman opposite, she was very haggard, and thinking about it, she would be a woman with a child in the future. Hard.

"You are also very hard." I asked her.

She smiled at me and shook her head: "It's not hard!" But before she finished speaking, tears flowed out.

I handed her the paper towel on the table, she wiped her tears and said it's okay, I still have children, I'm fine.

It wasn't until this time that I took a closer look at this woman. Although she couldn't be said to be pretty in appearance, she had a kind of temperament. I think this is the reason why she attracted him.She is a good woman.

Before leaving, I took the watch with me.I begged her to allow me to take the watch, and she agreed without hesitation.I told her that if you have difficulties, you can come to me. In the future, it will not be easy for the two of you, mother and child.She agreed with a smile.

Later, I returned to N City with Zhang Yue.Zhang Yue never asked me a question or even said a word from seeing me to returning home.But I know, there are things I have to say.

"Zhang Yue, there are some words, some things I think I still have to tell you."

Zhang Yue walked to my side and sat down, "You tell me."

"At the funeral that day, the person who died was the one I had always had a crush on. His name was Zhu Yujie, and he was also from WL University, majoring in financial management. I fell in love with him at first sight, and I have always liked him. From college to now, it hasn't changed."

Zhang Yue didn't speak at first, but after a while, he said: "I know, I always know that you haven't forgotten him."

I looked at him suspiciously.

He smiled, although the smile was not bright, "You often call a name in my ear in the middle of the night. We have lived together for almost 2 years, and I have heard it countless times."

"sorry!"

"Oh, you don't have to tell me you're sorry. There's nothing right or wrong about feelings." Then, he looked at me again with tears in his eyes: "I told you that I envy him, and I've always been envious. You can love him for so many years. I have always told myself that one day, I will put myself in your heart more than him in your heart. But now, I think I will never be better than him. How can I compare , How can I compare with a dead person, he has taken root in your heart, how can I compare..." Zhang Yue cried and lay on my shoulder.He keeps asking me why, but I really want to know why, if there is no Zhu Yujie, I think Zhang Yue is such a good person, I should be able to live with him.

I took a deep breath, knowing it was cruel, but I still patted Zhang Yue on the back and said to him: "Zhang Yue, let's break up!"

He still didn't speak, just lay on my body quietly, without saying a word.

For a long time, he asked me: "Have you ever loved me?"

I didn't answer.love?I have no idea.

He then asked, "Why are you with me?"

I still haven't answered.

Later, I watched Zhang Yue pack his things until he left.Before leaving, he turned to me and said, "Brother Jiayi, although some words are embarrassing, I still want to tell you. If...one day, you regret it, you can still come to me." Then he quickly said Closed the door and left.Zhang Yue left, he took away the new guitar I gave him, but left behind the guitar that he had used for a long time, he said that he hoped that I would not forget him, that I would think of him when I saw this guitar .

I was sick the next day.I have rarely had a cold since I was a child, and I suddenly had a high fever. I rested at home for two days and did not retreat.Later I went to the hospital with a body temperature of 39.9 degrees.Then I took a drip for three days, and the fever slowly subsided.

Wang Ziteng also came to see me and told me to take care of myself and not to let anything happen again.He chattered a lot in my ear, and then I asked him, "Ziteng, do you know who that boy was at that time?"

"Ah?" Wang Ziteng looked at me suspiciously, "Isn't he your cousin?"

I shook my head, "He was my boyfriend at the time. But now...we broke up. Do you know why?"

Wang Ziteng looked at me with wide eyes, shook his head, but quickly nodded again.

"Because I've always loved someone, from the time I was in college, until he got married, until he gave birth to a child, and now, he's gone, left. He left without even giving me a chance to confess. I promised him that day that I would go to W City to see him, and he promised me. He said he wanted to ask me a question, and I will remember it. But now, I don’t know anything. "

"It's because I'm useless, because I'm too cowardly, because I'm afraid of being rejected, I'm afraid of other people's eyes, I'm even more afraid that he will look down on me. But now I'm not afraid, if he can survive, I really... must tell How much I love him! . . . "

I said a lot in one breath, and when it came to it, I didn't even know when I had tears streaming down my face.

Wang Ziteng was silent for a long time, and then said: "Jia Yi, I have always regarded you as my good brother. You may have forgotten that when I went out to play once, I had no money on me. But at that time, I asked many people to borrow money , no one lent it to me, only you. Although we were not very close at the time, I think you must have lent me money because of Zhu Yujie's face, but at that time, I told myself, you People, worth paying. Whether you love men or women, I will always treat you as a brother. Yu Jie is gone, you... think about it."

I held Wang Ziteng's hand and wanted to say a lot, but I couldn't say a word, I could only say thank you.I feel a little more relaxed, but Zhu Yujie is a thorn in my heart, stuck there, and I can't get it out no matter what.

The author has something to say: Xu Jiayi's thorn is actually that he never told him about his secret love for Zhu Yujie; at the beginning, he had no courage, then he missed the opportunity, and finally he had no chance.