critical value

"If one day I can only feel you, it must be a very scary thing." I still remember thinking this way a long time ago, and I still feel affectionately, since I think so, then it's as good as it is now. Deeply feel you, must be my last chance.

Exactly when and to what extent did I think of this sentence, now I don’t remember it at all, but I still remember, it seems that one day, I ran around the street like a grandfather Time, cranky, thought of.

It's still like that recently, obviously not looking for Shi Xiaofeng on purpose, but can always see him, obviously can always see him, but both of them turn a blind eye to each other, obviously they both turn a blind eye, but just looking at it like that, in my heart, it's rare and strange The ground is "flat and turbulent"...

I often see Shi Xiaofeng recently, probably because the two of them really miss each other.

Every time I see him, the two of them still have a tacit understanding. You ignore me, and I ignore you.

In fact, it seems that some parts are still different from usual. Although Shi Xiaofeng doesn't say a word to me recently, and he doesn't like to shout like Tom Sawyer's girlfriend around me to get attention, but I always feel that he has been in my heart recently. Swaggering in front of him.

The current weather is very subtle. It doesn't sound like a very hot time in a few months, but in fact, because it doesn't rain and the sun is shining every day, it's so hot that it's dead.On such a sunny day, Shi Xiaofeng is still wearing black and dangling around, sometimes passing by my eyes, deliberately shaking more presumptuously, swinging his legs more violently than before, feeling that the whole body is following. Shaking, people can't help but think of middle school students walking with their legs crossed.

That's right, he looks like a middle school student pretending to be 13 now.

......

But I was not led by him, wearing that white coat, swaying around the city all day long, shaking my shoulders... Speaking of walking, if I suddenly want to walk very rhythmically When feeling the ground, he would shake his shoulders, if it was Shi Xiaofeng, he must have thrown his legs.Because of the phrase "women shake their shoulders and men shake their legs", I once asked Shi Xiaofeng to teach me to shake my legs, but he obviously worked hard to teach me, and I also worked hard to learn it, but in the end I still didn't learn it.

In fact, at that time, I didn’t expect Shi Xiaofeng to be serious about this matter, and I didn’t think much of it at first, until I heard him say: “Don’t touch the ground with your heels first.” Only then did I realize that he had observed me so carefully, What's even more frightening is that I don't know, probably because I'm born clumsy...

Thinking of this incident, I suddenly had a question. Although I am not aware of anything now, maybe he is watching me carefully... If this is the case, I must Would be happy to die.

Sorry for digressing.

Led by Shi Xiaofeng recently, I didn’t wear that white coat and swayed through the market with shaking shoulders, but put it away. I usually don’t wear it when I don’t go out to hunt others. I feel that I am also quite perverted. I want to spray red Wearing white clothes when doing ink work, I always feel like a surgical surgeon ~ and, because it is glossy, it is not airtight and watertight. When red ink is stuck on it, wipe it while it is fresh. Just wipe it off.

Usually, I wear very ordinary clothes, from ordinary to casual, to ugly, to straight male cancer clothes.There are many reasons for this. First, it is too hot.Second, because I have noticed Shi Xiaofeng's desire to protect me, I always feel that if I can become like an ordinary person, it will be much easier for him.[-]. I really don't want to dangle in front of Shi Xiaofeng wearing clothes sprayed with red ink.

In fact, I haven't been able to understand recently which one is the real reason.

All in all, kill three birds with one stone and get twice the result with half the effort.

"Someday, long, long, when I see your face again, I may feel nothing. But that's nothing compared to the pain that once wiped you from my mind...  ..”

In fact, the more it is like now, the two people deliberately ignore each other, the more they can't control themselves, the more they want to get closer to each other, they will often sneak a glance, and then they can't take it back, just keep staring at each other .

I still remember the time when I met Shi Xiaofeng face to face in the corridor, and there were a lot of people blocking the road behind him, so I couldn't dodge past the corner farthest from him, but I could only walk by him little by little. Rubbing slowly, in fact, according to the height difference between our two gods, he raised his head and I lowered his head. The two of them could pretend to be invisible to each other, but they didn't.

At first, it should be that I couldn't help but want to look at him, so I raised my head and glanced secretly. He raised his head as I expected, pretending that he couldn't see me, but because he was spotted by him Feeling ashamed, I quickly lowered my head and pretended not to see him as I had planned.

But walking over step by step, maybe it's because the distance between the two is getting closer, or maybe it's because I have too little self-control, and I really want to look at him in just a few tenths of a second, and then I see him looking at him too. I grinned and said: "Hello." This was the first sentence we said in a long time, so long that I can't remember it, and I actually regret that I didn't say anything in response to him at that time.

That smiling face was different from his usual one, and he seemed a little shy for no reason, it must be my illusion.

But I don’t know why I was so confident in my expression at that time—I lowered my eyes and deliberately didn’t look at him, but deluded myself that I wouldn’t be discovered, and raised my head to look at him secretly. At that time, my expression must have been extraordinarily innocent. The eyes must be wide open, and because of the height difference between the two of us, looking at him like that, seems to have seen him in a certain comic book. If you look up a little, you will have a feeling of looking forward to kissing.

I don't know how I can show this expression naturally. Sure enough, the inner feelings have reached a certain level, so it will naturally become like this...

No matter what Shi Xiaofeng thinks, he must, must give my expression full marks.

Although after that, I really wanted to collapse myself all day long.

The reason why I want to collapse myself is not very clear now, but I always feel that I am not satisfied with the current situation, this sneaky status quo.

I really want to see Shi Xiaofeng all day long, I really want to be inseparable from him, I really want to grow on him, as if I want him to only look at me.I want to be tied up by him and placed at home, although I won't run away at all, but if he is willing to tie it up, does it mean that he attaches so much importance to me, and he doesn't care about "I suddenly can't see me as soon as I get home", " Suddenly losing me one day” feels frightening, yes, this is love, and unreasonable control over the other party is a deep manifestation of love.

The tighter you tie, the more you love me.

If I can get such deep love from him, I am willing to dedicate all the value of my life to him alone.It's enough to have him alone, I can have no relationship with anyone...

Suddenly, I feel like a snake maniac. This symptom can be summed up as monopolistic fishing - desire for monopoly + hanging on a tree.

(Although Shou has gone crazy to the second stage and will soon be sublimated, but the solo fishing chapter will take a long time to write)

The author has something to say:

Recently, I have written many chapters of inner monologue, one is because I want to say too much to the three-dimensional Shi Xiaofeng, the other is because I have read a lot of Zweig’s novels, and the third is because I am oppressed by the final exam and can’t remember the plot.