critical value

Recently, I have been crazy, I like to be alone in the room and go crazy. When I have nothing to do, I walk around in the room. Someone who is mentally tortured.

It feels like a little sound can drive me crazy.

Feeling like this, I was inexplicably similar to the fire man in the game I played before. I still remember that I was besieged with a broken face at that time, and was tortured to death by the Lun family many times.

As for why I suddenly became the same as the characters in the game, because I have been struggling with a very important problem recently.In fact, I don't seem to be able to summarize what the problem is now, but it is probably the kind of unilateral speculation about Shi Xiaofeng that is about to take away his mind.

I'm always guessing that the real reason why he's avoiding me now is almost like this, and what's on his mind.Every time the two of us pretended not to see each other, lowered our heads or raised our heads indifferently, and passed by each other, what was he thinking, what kind of mood was he, and, After this?Did he feel something again?

Moreover, when he suddenly turned his head as if he had been summoned by something, and only saw me, when he really saw me, he probably didn't expect it... At this time, what was he doing? What are you thinking?Would he have guessed that I had caught his gaze on me a few times out of the corner of my eye?

Seeing his swaying, pretending to be 13, and thinking of the way I was dressed straight, but still shaking my shoulders and swaying through the market, I thought of the way he deliberately swayed past me, and then went around to In front of me, deliberately walked far away from me.What kind of emotion is hidden in it.

According to the general way of thinking, the first thing that comes to mind should be hate, but I was the first to rule out this option. I was a little unsteady at first, but the two of us met in the corridor that day, and he said, "Hello. ", I was completely determined, because if it was someone I hated, I shouldn't deliberately lower my head to look at him. After being discovered, I should have glared at him viciously, but Shi Xiaofeng didn't. Smiling shyly, he said this to me.

In fact, I am not worried that my non-response attitude will make him gradually hate me, because I am still very confident in my expression at that time, especially when I woke up the next morning, I deliberately widened my eyes and imitated it when I washed my face The expression at that time, the eyes are round, the corners of the eyes are half drooping, it feels a bit like a kitten's eyes...

I vaguely felt that from a long time ago, Shi Xiaofeng and I had a special tacit understanding. What he did and what he thought seemed to completely reflect what I wanted to do and what I thought.But it may be completely opposite. It is precisely because Shi Xiaofeng did this and thought this way that I completely obey his thinking and agree with his choice.

However, I should not be so idiotic yet.

Since there is a tacit understanding between us, the principle of empathizing with others is probably very applicable to the two of us. As long as we think about what kind of emotions we may experience when we have similar behaviors, he should be in the same mood.

If I would walk past Shi Xiaofeng pretendingly, if I would keep silently walking behind him, if I would hear Shi Xiaofeng’s movements and deliberately not look back, if I couldn’t help but want to see more Shi Xiaofeng took a few glances, if I was sensitive enough to look at him as if I had been summoned...

I must really like him.

This kind of love and the kind of people who casually hook up with a beautiful human being of the same age can't play for long, and the time together can't even be calculated in months, and then they break up. When they separated, they still looked like "I can't live without you", and After a while, even the time cannot be measured by days, he immediately flirts with other people's love difference again.

This kind of liking even makes me ashamed to describe it as love, because it is much purer, so pure that using love to describe it not only tarnishes the word "love", but also tarnishes its unique purity.Because probably there is no trace of desire, cautious feelings, at first caused by a childish yearning, I envy this person, so I want to stay by his side, because I am very envious of this person, this person is obviously also with me The same incompetent and fragile person deifies him in his own mind on his own accord, feeling that he seems to be omnipotent, so he feels even more inferior when he is around him, so he is more cautious.

If one day I could touch him as a matter of course, it would probably be a scene that would never appear in my imagination.

But of course Shi Xiaofeng would not have such feelings for me, because I have realized it since a long time ago, and now I am standing beside him, like a kitten picked up by him on a rainy day, and I am still a kitten. earth cat...

Push yourself and others, right?

Think carefully about my emotions when I missed it over and over again recently. Because I am very dull, I have no way to understand what it feels like.If I have to say something, it is that I really want to see him, I really want to look at him, I really want to talk to him, I have so many words I want to convey to him, especially every time I pass by him, sometimes in that A moment ago, he was still thinking about some interesting things, imagining the scene when he would tell him, and seeing him the next second, and then the two of them had to remain silent, and went their separate ways.

Also, sometimes I saw his face vaguely, and then just stared at him intently like that, and it took a long time before I remembered that we are avoiding each other now, and looked at my own with a look of disgust. toe.In fact, at that time, I still wanted to see more of him...

That time when he jumped out from behind me and walked deliberately away from me swaggeringly, I still remember that his heart seemed to be grabbed suddenly, accompanied by a little bit of tinnitus.This should be regarded as a kind of pain, I should feel pain for him avoiding me.

As for others, he must also be suffering because I avoid him.I understand that if either of the two people changes their eyes a little at this time, they can look at each other after a long time, because the other party should have been secretly looking at it with a fluke mentality.If at this time, someone doesn't walk by in such a hurry, just say "Hello" and run away, but stands there and gives the other party a time to react, then you can definitely chat like before. Get up, because the other party has been expecting you to speak to him for a long time...

If we can chat like before, both parties will be able to quickly return to the previous relationship and the previous mode of getting along, because I don’t know how many entangled periods have been spent relying on memories.

This point, if you think about yourself and others, the two people should be the same, because after reading so many horoscope divinations, Leo is the kind who likes to kill all kinds of memories when a person is bored, and will look very pitiful when the memories are extreme The type that looks like shed tears.

I'm better than him, because mere words of distress, and such interesting ones, are not enough to make me weep.