critical value

In fact, what left a slight impression on the events of that day was that I had a little understanding of the young lady and the boss.

I still remember looking at him who had never met before, the bright red man, not distorted as imagined, but very peaceful, as if he was asleep.Looking at him, I don't know what to do, just watching.

Maybe when I look at it, I will suddenly react to something, maybe run away, maybe just like this crazy.

But none of this happened, the reason is very simple, because before all this happened, the two gun targets next to them were suddenly pushed down by someone, and the boss and the eldest sister came out from behind, walking at the same pace as usual when nothing happened Same, say to me, "Hey."

......

None of this matters, what matters are those unforgettable conversations.

I said, "This is..."

The answer I heard was: "A broken cuboid, right?"

"It's nothing to worry about."

"This man is at the end of his life. The three of us took up your three most commonly used gun targets. Dad has the highest probability of death. I am second, but he is the one who died."

"What's more, there are options that none of you hit."

"Just kidding, I know you are very good at this."

......

In fact, at that time, I really wanted to take advantage of my LV.UP, when it was flashing and no one could beat them, saying: "Why are you so cruel?" But then I suddenly felt that these people are not even dead. Don't be afraid, what else is there to be afraid of?So what can I say?It's useless to say anything.

But it is precisely because he is not afraid of anything that he can use other people's blood, tears and lives as a luxury with peace of mind.

......

Regarding Shi Xiaofeng's matter, I don't plan to do anything, I don't plan to see him again, and I don't plan to treat him as a stranger again.I just immerse myself in my own world, recalling the past events over and over again, not planning to forget any of the details, even if no one knows about it, there is no result of my own efforts to remember.

This may be regarded as a kind of torture for myself.

Occasionally, I secretly think about what Shi Xiaofeng is doing now, is he still abusing novices as usual?Or are you using a very expensive pen to scribble on a piece of waste paper?Or is he ruining those girls who ate a carload of rice and drank three carloads of water again?Speaking of which, I didn't really want to tell him before: "Don't torture those girls anymore!", but now I have no way to say it. I have this thought and this opportunity, but I just can't say it.

This is not bad, at least I can really concentrate on what I should do recently.What else can I do?Of course, once you take the first step, you can never go back.Suddenly I remembered the autumn long, long ago, when Shi Xiaofeng took me down the mountain, I was always thinking about how to escape and return to my hometown where I don’t have a single memory.

It is impossible to return now. In various senses, I no longer even hold the most basic aspects of being a human being. I have to pretend to be the same as them when facing everyone who is purer than me. I feel overwhelmed by my own safety, or other messy things that trouble me, but in order to pretend to be like them, I obviously don't have the strength to calculate and entrap those good people who often do good things, but I still have to do it.

Gradually, carrying a lot of messy things on his back, he became an ordinary person who was on the verge of collapse.

That's the last thing I want.

Another point, after all, I don't have any memories of my hometown, but standing here, looking at those people who are so bad, so bad that they don't feel ashamed to kill their own kind, they are simply more cruel than wolves.They are already so cruel, but they feel familiar. After all, from my earliest memory, I have come into contact with these people. No matter what, this is my only destination.

There is also Shi Xiaofeng, although I feel that he is in a dilemma for him now, but thinking of waking up on the flight and seeing him for the first time, he smiled so happily... I feel inexplicable in my heart Feeling warm, but still as sour as usual.

Forget it, but if you see him at first glance, is there another way to understand——

Between meeting him, my life didn't start turning.

If this is the case, there is a huge high-risk loophole——

Is it because we are in a dilemma like this, destined to be gradually alienated, and my life will stop like this.

No way, at most it’s a walking dead, just like because of having to hide crimes, it’s no different to become an ordinary person on the verge of collapse in the end...

Ah, if I think about it carefully, I suddenly realize that no matter whether I stay here or "return to my hometown", there is only one ending for me in the end - numbness.

Another dilemma.

Whether you see Shi Xiaofeng or forget him, whether you go home or continue to fall...

Painful, numb.

There is nothing left to choose from.

I suddenly remembered that I didn’t know whether I watched a movie or an anime. One of the big villains said that life is made up of choices, and then forced the pig’s feet to make a difficult choice that is comparable to dismantling a bomb and cutting the red and blue lines. I didn't feel sorry for the pig's feet before, and felt that the big villain was right.Now suddenly it doesn't feel like this.

Because there is really nothing to choose from, there are obviously four different options, but after the choice, there are only two BEs of "pain and numbness".There's actually a multiple-choice question in it -- am I going to make one last struggle, pick one and fall into the cliffs that surround me, or choose nothing, stay where I am, and collapse from the dangers all around me.

I decided not to choose.

In the end, it was the big villain party, and I finally chose "not to choose".

Gradually degenerated, gradually acquiesced to degenerate.

I don't often stay in the basement now, because the BOSS and the eldest sister agreed that I would be useless even if I stayed there, so they put me into actual combat, which is called "true knowledge comes from practice".

In fact, I struggled a little in the beginning, not because I was struggling to stain my hands with my own thoughts, but because I was afraid of other things.

I should be considered a novice in Shibu now, so I have to go to Shi Xiaofeng to receive the task and hand in the task report. In fact, I am not afraid of him hitting me, because in fact he has never been cruel to me at all.What I was really afraid of was seeing his face, and what was even more frightening was that when he saw me, even just seeing the corner of my clothes, I felt extremely painful, because I had no face to see him long ago.

At the beginning, I followed any senior who happened to be free, and somehow, they were all very understanding, and every time they went to receive tasks and hand in reports, they let me stand at the door of Shi Xiaofeng's office.But it's very strange, it's obvious that I've already provided such help, but every time, even if I just stand at the door, I feel a throbbing pain in my heart.

Now, after a long time, when I think about my mood at that time, I guess that I must have been looking forward to seeing Shi Xiaofeng at that time.