critical value

That day, I pretended to understand ancient songs and novels very well, and chatted with the girl from the Lun family without saying a word. She is really the kind of straightforward person, and I kept saying "oh" , "Oh——" "Oh~~~", it's easy to sigh without a target like this, but it can actually make her very happy, and she keeps talking to me in a chattering manner.

Sometimes she is talking, I have nothing to do, so I wake up a little bit from the fugue, listen a little bit attentively, and occasionally I can hear some parts that I understand a little bit, after all, sometimes I will watch it when I have nothing to do Costume drama... Then I didn't say "Oh" for a while, and then I answered a few words casually, and she looked so happy that she couldn't help herself, jumping around on the spot, laughing hard All exposed.

Yes, that's when I got to know her.

At the beginning, I still felt that this person was annoying, or I just said a few words and did a few things to deal with it according to the routine of the male protagonist of Korean dramas. Everyone in this era knows that although this kind of routine is easy to hook up with girls, it will never be able to hook up. Love.

But that will change soon, after all we are the same people.

Those little brothers who are policemen and swallowing jujubes don’t come often, basically after a short vacation, those uncles who have been exploiting newcomers, haven’t moved their fists and feet for several days, and have been nestling at home are coming to practice their hands, but this kind of uncle really There are too many people, and there are not enough places in the police station opposite, so they just "swish" and take it for granted to go to the gangsters...

I always feel that my impression of the sorghums has completely changed. I used to think that they were all the pig-footed type in "Operation Mekong". The stubborn eighteen cows could not be pulled back, and they also had a special sense of justice. The kind of people who are particularly principled have only recently discovered that they are not at all. Because they have been exposed to too much bad money, when they are not wearing police uniforms, they look like bad money at first glance.

Well, you can't blame them, after all, it is the very few people who "come out of the silt without being stained" since ancient times, and "coming out of the silt without being stained" is a noble quality.Since few ancients who proposed this quality were able to achieve it, why should people today?

When they don't come, this is my world. As the seasons go by, the weather gets hotter day by day. The boss is that old wretch, and the air conditioner is not very cool. I am more willing to stay here because it is too hot. , too lazy to go to the sixth floor to find Shi Xiaofeng, I spy on him, or the time between the two of us has become less and less.

I don't know what kind of mentality I was at that time, but I just endured it like this, and I kept thinking about a lot of seemingly interesting things in my heart, so I decided to see him next time I could talk to him like that For his words, tell him everything that comes to mind today, but I usually practice absent-mindedly, thinking about those words in my heart, gradually accumulating more and more, I always feel that no matter how long it takes, I can’t pour out these words clean up.

Now that I know that I can't finish talking, I naturally won't talk about it.

Of course, there was a little bit, as if she was afraid of seeing him.

This feeling became even more obvious after that incident...

And sublimated into a more painful feeling.

The day when that incident happened seemed very ordinary. I was still the same as before, practicing various shootings, and I was still thinking about the things I thought about before, or I suddenly said "Boss, they are really rich, I practiced." After such a long time, they didn’t think I’m wasting bullets”...then inexplicably began to think about them, put down the pistol, and silently walked in front of those things that seemed to make people feel cold.

That's right, everything was the same as usual. Around noon, I didn't eat any food, and my lazy bones suddenly popped up. I just lay down in a random place, put my arms under my head, and fell asleep.At that time, I always felt that I had a kind of "home from all over the world" temperament.

I don't know how long I slept, but when I got up again, my arms were numb, and the saliva was running down on my arms, but after all, it was my own saliva, so there was nothing to dislike.After struggling for a while, I slowly got up. When I first stood up, I still felt the pain of being about to be knocked down as usual. It must be that I have gradually become estranged from Shi Xiaofeng, who I rely on. This pain seems to be nothing now , is very common, as if it is a part of my life.

Sure enough, I am the type who will become extraordinarily strong once I have to face something alone.

I took a few steps slowly, blinked again, and now I can see a blurry world full of snowflakes, and that's good.

Put your hands on the table at an inappropriate height, next to it is the gun you are used to, hold it in your hand as usual, raise your head again, and see the world of snowflakes, yes, this is good.After blinking again, I was gradually able to focus on a small black shadow in the distance. Every time at this time, I felt that the so-called human figure was just a broken cuboid...

Gunshots sounded.

The hand was numb for a while from the shock.

The sluggish feeling when I just woke up can only convey the same information as usual.

When you can see it clearly, let's see which parts are the rings~

With eyes closed, he groped for a small chair to the side, endured the "buzzing" noise in his head, and sat down silently.Slightly rub the acupoints that are often pressed during eye exercises, and wait for the mind to gradually become clear, and the world in front of you is no longer so blurred.

The sound of "buzzing" gradually disappeared, and I deliberately closed my eyes and walked through the glass one after another, silently walked around to the door, then opened the door, and walked in bouncingly, to check those who were in the same position. The human-shaped gun target, however, gradually felt that something was wrong.

Did the ground here have such abstract red patterns before?

......

Ordinary people do this kind of thing unprepared, and they almost collapse without going crazy. Wait, isn't this almost the same?

That's right, most people should be going crazy, but it's probably because I'm relatively young and have good resilience. I'm the kind of child who can fully recover after being thrown at the coffin for a day and night and taken home for a few days. .So this incident didn't have a big blow to my spirit, except that I almost went crazy on the first day, and the big sister, the boss and his under attack persuaded me for a long time, and I didn't even have insomnia after that. Still fell asleep like dead.

But this matter still has an impact on me, especially on Shi Xiaofeng, I see him occasionally.

At this time, just by glancing at that face, you will feel endless regret, as if you want to burn your whole body dry; obviously there are so many things to say in my heart, but when I think of the bright red He, who had never met before, thought of what Shi Xiaofeng said a long time ago, "You are so kind", so he had no choice but to turn around and leave. At this time, the whole person seemed to have fallen into the sea of ​​acid, still burning, but more An indescribable sourness.

After stepping away from him step by step, I can't even regret it as usual, and I can't imagine talking to him a little bit. Just thinking about it, I feel ashamed to death. This kind of shame will definitely make me feel that he treats me Every glance is like loathing, stabbing with a knife.

Sometimes I think, since I have become so guilty even looking at him, otherwise the two of us will become strangers like this, and a stranger said: "You are so kind.", I don't need to deliberately Hold on, hold on to that bit of innocence that he praised.But the mere imagining of the severing of a dependency that no longer exists, the relegation of a past inseparable memory to a "stranger" is painful because, after all, he has been there since the first scene I wrote down on the flight. ah......

I used to rely on him so much, if I just forget it like this, it must be a great betrayal to him, although I have long believed in my heart that he will not take my "betrayal" seriously, and probably won't even bother to laugh...

The original mood sublimated, sublimated into a kind of pain that no matter what I did.

The author has something to say:

Because there are so many things I want to express, I have a bottleneck... Well, it's because of the final exam.