critical value

In fact, I have never broken contact with BOSS, and relatively I have not broken contact with epilepsy-because I always inquire about epilepsy from BOSS.Of course I can't blame me for this, even if I don't ask him, he will tell me involuntarily.

Sometimes I see epilepsy or wielding a knife or shooting, execution and chasing videos from BOSS, I see him covered in blood, I see him sitting on the hospital bed in hospital gown and thinking I heard that he is in poor health and often falls to the ground for no apparent reason... In fact, when I first saw the flying white figure in the video, the first thing I felt was an unbelievable beauty.

——He is no longer the clumsy kid I just met. The white figure swinging a knife and flying around among the enemies looks extraordinarily dexterous, giving the illusion of being as light as a swallow. Drenched in white, it looks like a work of art on him.The beauty is unimaginable and outrageous, and I even trembled involuntarily the moment I saw him.Those clear eyes were used to half-squinting, the slender eyelashes blocked the brilliance in the eyes, the black bottomless like a black hole.

"Come~Xiaochen look at the camera~" This is the voice of the BOSS.He turned his face obediently, and stared at me with a pair of eyes, which were like blades.

This was no longer epilepsy as I knew it.

For a while, I felt mixed feelings in my heart, and the feeling was indescribable.I tried to isolate some easy to understand parts from it -

First of all, I am gratified. After all, he is no longer the good-for-nothing I kept. He is no longer the idiot who was put to death in a second among my colleagues. He doesn't need to avoid the battlefield in the bloody storm. Fleeing at night, worrying about life or death for their lives.He can protect himself, eliminate dissidents, and even have the ability to rule and conquer others.He doesn't need my protection anymore, he can be safe and comfortable by himself... Isn't this what I want?

Then there is guilt. I have also walked this road before, and I grew up alone from a child to a seemingly competent chief of the "Pursuit and Anti-Pursuit Department". clear.Maybe it’s the reason why I’m so skinny and shameless. Not only did those difficulties not knock me down, they didn’t even affect my mind at all—others may have transformed into snake spirits and murdered the big devil, or collapsed due to overwhelmed .However, I still should eat, sleep, watch TV dramas, catch up with new animations, and be scared by ghost movies and curl up under the covers.

But it is also rare to be a shameless type like me. Most people go down this road step by step, and sooner or later they will collapse—this reminds me of the old and young master, who used to be What a powerful person, he has developed a life-threatening mini-game that no one can afford, and I have never broken the record of continuous pursuit and killing. The fiancee yelled at her and shot herself because of guilt.

I have never met this person, but now the entire Qing heritage has traces of him everywhere, such as the word limit of the Shibu mission report (laughs).I often have an urge to pay homage to this old man, but unfortunately he was buried by the BOSS in a deep mountain and forest, a place that few people know, so I have not been able to do so. The eldest sister burns some paper on her head, and it is regarded as worshiping him...

A person like this is unavoidable, let alone epilepsy?The more I think about it, the more afraid I become. The farther and farther I go on this road, there can only be two results in the end-one is a kinder person like the old and young master, who ends his own life because of guilt; the other is addicted to Killing, becoming inhumane.Either way I don't want epilepsy to go through.

I don't know how long he has been on this road and how many hardships he has experienced.But when I think of the photo of him lying on the hospital bed, this may be just the tip of the iceberg. Although it is my wish for him to become independent, I have to feel guilty for his suffering.I even became frightened, afraid that he would be overwhelmed and degenerate before I went back, turning into a dead person, or a humanoid creature that is not human.

It's all my fault for getting to this point now, and it's all the reason why I left rashly-what did I let such a kind and weak him go through?What field are you trying to trick him into?

I was thinking about it in a dream, and suddenly woke up again.

I want to see him and can't wait more and more.I was afraid that if I was one step late, I would never see those big, clear eyes staring at me cutely again, and I was afraid that he would leave me hastily in another way, just like Zhang Haoran.

Suddenly, I remembered the last day in Jiangnan again. In the middle of the night, I carried him on the street with no one on my back. I made an oath in my heart——I said that I have lost Zhang Haoran, and I can’t lose another epilepsy. This time, I must protect him. Live the man I love, along with his innocence and kindness.

As a result, it still didn't work out.

I spent two years between St. Petersburg and Siberia, and it seemed that I had finally done what the Papa God had to do.It happened to be early summer when I went back, and he vacated a small summer villa nearby some time ago, and couldn't wait to tell me to go back to the northeast to drag my brother over. He couldn't wait to meet interesting souls.

What's the meaning?Isn't my soul interesting enough?

Pa Nanshen said that he had booked a ticket back to the Northeast for me, and asked me to pack my luggage and leave quickly: "Let me see~ Three o'clock in the afternoon today... Shi Xiaofeng, it's getting closer now, don't you Hurry up and run?" He was probably trying to torment me deliberately, and a series of facts later proved that my point of view was correct.

Anyway, I didn’t bring anything with me when I came here. That day, I just packed some luggage and rushed out of the gate at the speed of light. I quickly got the ticket and jumped on the train. It took a long time to arrive in Moscow.As expected, Pa Nanshen deliberately tormented me, because he had just set foot on the land of Moscow, and found out that the international flight to Shanghai was about to take off in less than two hours...

So the speed of light along the way was hurriedly catching up and finally caught up.I was panting and sitting on the seat facing the window. It was already dark at that time. After shaking for a while, the plane moved slowly on the ground at a uniform speed like a physics problem, surrounded by light strips. Or light strips.Like a child, I pressed my face to the glass window, looking at the lamps connected to the lamps outside, and inexplicably thought of the scene of upstairs connected to buildings in the northeast land, and my heart was like an arrow in an instant.

The plane was still moving slowly, I don't know how many times it turned in the dark, and I don't know where we are at the airport now.Suddenly it started to accelerate, and I could hear the "swish" sound of the airflow from the engine. I hit the backrest with a "bang" due to inertia, and struggled to get up again, watching the light strip moving at the speed of light outside and forming a line of light bring.Suddenly the band of light seemed to move down, and I leaned over slightly—probably taking off?

I left the land of Russia, and when I landed again, it was the motherland I had been thinking about day and night.

The first thing I do when I get off the plane - I must eat hot pot.

I can't figure out how many kilometers in the sky I am, but I feel that I can see the highway below, and the lights are thinly coiled into a ball like a chessboard, and they will soon be submerged behind clouds or darkness. I can't see it anymore...

The next time you see lights, it must be electricity from the "State Grid".

I thought about it, and then fell asleep like an arrow in my heart.

Afterwards, the tickets I booked to Shanghai Pa Nanshen never bothered me again. The schedule was unexpectedly loose, and I even had half a day to wander around Shanghai in spare time.This is also within the scope of the Yangtze River Basin. I walked in the rain with a cheap plastic umbrella. I didn’t know where to go, so I didn’t go anywhere. I just wandered around, just like I did in Jiangnan four years ago. When I knew epilepsy, it was just that there was no epilepsy around me. It’s strange to think about it. It’s been four years and what happened is still so vivid in my memory, as if it was yesterday.

In fact, earlier, about seven or eight years ago, I also walked with Zhang Haoran in the rain in the south of the Yangtze River, but it was early autumn at that time, and it was early summer at this time, and it was also early summer when I knew epilepsy.I still remember that from then on, every time I encountered misty and rainy weather, I felt inexplicably irritable, even mixed with an indescribable fear.This is the reason why Zhang Haoran was lost in the misty Jiangnan.

Perhaps the BOSS recalled me from Russia back then and told me to nest in Jiangnan for a while as a kind of stimulation therapy, but he didn't expect that I accidentally got to know epilepsy.Because of him, because I've walked side by side in the rain, chatted ramblingly, fooled around like a child.Because I once fell in love with this person in the misty rain in the south of the Yangtze River, so I also fell in love with the misty rain in the south of the Yangtze River, and I no longer hate and fear as much as before.I myself am no longer as gloomy and lonely as before.

This is the reason why I encountered epilepsy, but thinking about it this way, I feel a little sorry for Zhang Haoran——Because of my negligence, I once let him die alone, but now that I have got rid of loneliness, he does not know where, maybe he is still alone. .....

Thinking about it like this makes me a little lost, but I can no longer abandon epilepsy, so I can only pray in my heart that Zhang Haoran can forgive me, and hope that he can get out of the past as soon as possible and find a new self.

Flying directly from Shanghai to Harbin, I took the green leather train for a long time. I lay on the window and looked around. I saw the mountains hiding the old villas in the mountains from a distance, and it seemed that I could see them. epilepsy......

have to go home.