martyrdom

After zero o'clock, the fireworks lasted for a long time, almost lighting up the night sky of the whole city.Yuan Fei didn't care to appreciate it. After making a wish, she turned to look at Yu'er on the screen, only to find that the video call had ended, leaving only a cold message on the screen: Sorry, I'll call you later.

The firework stick in her hand had burned out, and the remaining sparks still burned her fingers.She trembled slightly, and the firework stick in her hand fell to the ground, completely shattered into ashes.There was a small red spot on the burnt finger, which was hot. She put her finger in her mouth, but suddenly burst into tears for no reason.

The tears on her face were instantly chilled by the wind, and she realized her abnormal mood swings.

Yu'er had already explained to her that she was participating in the dinner, and there was nothing she could do if there was an emergency, and she immediately explained it to her, and thoughtfully relieved her of her worries.Fearing that she would be lonely and giving her fireworks, and then sneaking out to video with her when it was close to midnight, she was already so moved, why was she still sad?

Whether it was too insatiable, or there was some other reason, she couldn't see clearly for a moment.

Yu'er over there was hugged full of arms, but she didn't want to break free at all, let the man let her go after saying Happy New Year, and said sorry to her as if drunk.

The fireworks outside the floor-to-ceiling windows illuminated the man's dignified and elegant velvet jacket and the soft-colored silk scarf around his neck.The silk scarf was tied a little crookedly, Yu'er stretched out her hand to straighten it for her, and said jokingly: "You don't need to say sorry for hugging me."

The man gave a low laugh, and responded, "Yes, it's only natural for me to hug my daughter."

Yu'er held her hand, pulled her to sit down by the window together, and softly comforted her: "I know you and my dad are in a difficult situation, since it was a promise during the summer vacation, I naturally won't go back on my word, as for coming back on New Year's Day It’s okay to give them a reassurance once in a while. You don’t have to blame yourself too much, speaking of it, this is also a good internship.”

The man sighed softly: "Their family dotes on this daughter so much that they don't hesitate to use her request as a condition for cooperation in the business field. Compared with An Ge, your father and I are really incompetent. Although this It's a good job, but this kid An Ge..."

Yu'er heard her hesitate to speak, and continued, "So, it's her parents who are really incompetent. It's you and my father who are the best at raising such an excellent daughter."

The man smiled and patted her: "Stop talking nonsense, go back."

Maybe the coffee he drank at the airport in the afternoon played a role, and Yuan Fei couldn't fall asleep until the dawn of the first day of the new year dawned.Yu'er said that she would call her, but she never found a suitable opportunity. Instead, she kept sending text messages, reporting the itinerary all the way from the hotel to the KTV, until she said good night two hours ago.

If you want to rate your partner, Yu'er is definitely perfect.

But for some reason, she just couldn't calm down.The mood has been inexplicably depressed, as if being affected by something, but I can't tell the specific reason, but my chest feels tight for no reason, and I can't help but think of the person I haven't been apart for less than half a day.

It was full daylight.

Yuan Fei sat up from the bed, tiredness spread to every part of her body, but her brain was extremely clear-headed, reminding those inexplicable entangled sorrows like she would never let go.Almost unable to bear it, she raised her hands and rubbed her temples vigorously until the skin there became hot and red.

Hungry, she got out of bed, washed and walked into the kitchen.There were semi-finished ingredients left by Yu'er in the refrigerator, she took out a small handful of vegetables and an egg, and planned to cook some noodles.

After washing the vegetables and putting them on the cutting board, Yuan Fei's eyes fell on the sharp blade in his hand.The dry and bright metallic color, reflecting the light coming in from the window, seemed to produce a different kind of beauty in her eyes, which attracted her to deflect the direction of the blade and scratch it on the tiger's mouth with her left hand.

The position of the tiger's mouth is rich in blood vessels, and with just a light swipe, the dark red blood instantly stained the blade.The slight stabbing pain made her frown slightly, but the dull pain in her heart seemed to have eased a lot.At the same time, the blood-drinking blade also stimulated her visually, making her brain buzz. The trembling right hand holding the knife aimed at the old wound, and cut it down again.

This cut was severe, the flesh tore every inch of nerves, and the signal of pain was instantly transmitted throughout the body.She was so painful that a layer of cold sweat broke out on her back, but her heart felt completely relieved.

Blood spilled out and dripped onto the chopping board.Pat, clack, very regular rhythm, and very pleasant sound.Yuan Fei thought that she had finally found the Miaozong to calm her emotions.

I don't know how long it has passed, the frequency of bleeding has become less and less, and the pain has also eased a lot.Yuan Fei stood with her eyes closed, feeling that the sadness in her heart seemed to come back again, so she picked up the knife again with her right hand.

The mobile phone beside him rang softly at this moment.She put down the knife for the time being to read the news, and it really was Yu'er.

——Are you up?

The simple three words sounded like the girl's soft words, which made her wake up in an instant.

Waking up from a nightmare, looking at the red cutting board and the bleeding wound, Yuan Fei felt terrified of herself a moment ago.How could she have such terrible thoughts and actions, and how could she use this method to distract those unnecessary sorrows.

If Yu'er knew, she would probably be very angry.

She walked out of the kitchen quickly, found the medicine box and bandaged herself.After applying the medicine powder, the blood still leaked out, probably because the wound was too deep.She took a piece of gauze and pressed the wound to stop the bleeding. The stimulation of the medicine powder and the pain of pressing hard made her tense her body, but she was faintly attached to this feeling, and she was reluctant to let go of the pressure.

She was terrified of this attachment.

From being haunted by nightmares at first, to frequent hallucinations, and even getting pleasure from self-abuse now, some facts are enough to support that terrible guess.This is not a psychological problem that needs to be adjusted and comforted, but a spiritual problem that needs to be corrected and treated.

Thinking of this, she almost had a splitting headache, so she slowly lay down on the sofa in the living room, and at some point fell asleep amidst the pain and anxiety.

At this time, Yu'er was already on the way to the airport.She drank alcohol the night before and woke up early, and she was also suffering from a headache.Gu Xin was driving her off, turned his head and saw her rubbing the center of her brows, and sighed softly: "Are you in such a hurry to go back?"

Yu'er forced a smile: "Last night, I had a video chat with Yuan Fei for a while, and I felt that she was not in the right mood."

Hearing that she couldn't let go of Yuan Fei, Gu Xin joked: "We've only been separated for less than a day, and we're so worried about it. You're working as a legal affairs officer for An Ge during the winter vacation, so you have to be separated from her for nearly two months?"

Yu'er was silent for a while, then said: "Actually, I thought about... bringing her with me."

"...Are you crazy?" Gu Xin frowned, "You brought her back for so long during the summer vacation, and you got tired of being together all day, uncle is already asking me about your relationship. If you bring her back during the winter vacation, you are sure to say After the status, can the family accept her, or are they sure that she can see you and An Ge get along day and night?"

Yu'er rubbed the center of her eyebrows with more strength, and said tiredly: "Are you telling me to hide it from her?"

"The reason why she broke up with you last time is not hidden from you." Gu Xin wrote lightly, "Don't take white lies too seriously, learn to find a way that is good for both of you. On this point, Yuan Fei It's better than you think."

Yu'er nodded, didn't say anything, just leaned on the back of the chair and closed her eyes.

When I returned to the city where Yuan Fei was located, it was not yet noon.Yuan Fei has not replied to the message, probably because she slept too late last night, and now she is still dreaming.Yu'er couldn't bear to disturb her, and wanted to surprise her by coming back early, so she called a car and went home.

Then I was scared out of my wits by the open medicine box in the living room and the person lying quietly on the sofa.

She rushed to the sofa in a few steps, but suddenly saw the bloody gauze on Yuan Fei's left hand stretched out.The bandage was poor, the blood was coagulated on the surface of the gauze, and tightly adhered to the wound.Yu'er tugged lightly and wanted to take off the gauze to re-bandage her, but Yuan Fei snorted softly in her sleep, and slowly opened her eyes.

Seeing Yu'er, I thought it was an illusion again, there was no surprise, only unconcealable fear.Fear drove her to move back desperately, and treated the girl she missed so much like seeing an evil spirit.

It wasn't until the girl hugged her distressedly that she felt the truth, and she burst into tears uncontrollably.

Yu'er kept wiping away her tears, but she didn't know where she came from so many tears, and she couldn't stop it no matter what.The appearance of Yuan Fei weeping quietly had a great impact on her, and she also blushed with her eyes, and was even more distressed by the serious-looking wound on her hand, but she couldn't bear to blame her when she opened her mouth, she just kept stroking and comforting: "Okay, Well, I'm back."

The girl who was always eloquent became clumsy in front of her tears.But just these few clumsy words comforted her and gradually calmed her down. She took the tissue from Yu'er and wiped her tears by herself.

Yu'er looked at her red and swollen eyes, and suddenly remembered what Gu Xin said not long ago.Yuan Fei's sensitivity and fragility have exceeded her imagination. She wants to protect her, not just concealing it.She has to pay more, just like what she promised at the beginning, even if she gives everything.

After making up his mind, his face relaxed a little.Only then did Yu'er ask her: "What happened to the hand?"

Yuan Fei cried just now, her voice was still a little hoarse, but she sounded extremely sincere and extremely wronged: "I was not careful when chopping vegetables."

Yu'er was not easy to deceive, she just stared at her for a while, didn't say anything, got up and went to the kitchen.Turning back after a while, his face was already very ugly: "You cut off your hand before the vegetables are cut, and you still cut it on the tiger's mouth?"

Seeing that Yuan Fei didn't argue, just lowered her eyes and said nothing, Yu'er was so angry that she almost hit the wall.The words that criticized her choked back. According to the current situation, no matter how much she said, Yuan Fei would not refute her. It would only make her sadder and more depressed.

Then stop quarreling.

Yu'er took a few deep breaths, trying to control her emotions and tears, walked over and pulled Yuan Fei up from the sofa, and said softly: "I see blood on the cutting board, the wound may be deep, go to the hospital for treatment."

Yuan Fei stared at her blankly, probably not expecting her to remain calm and gentle, she was about to cry again with emotion, but was frightened by the change in Yu'er's face: "Don't cry anymore!"

The author has something to say:

In fact, if you can really get pleasure from self-abuse, why should others interfere?Whether you like the pain of the skin or lose control of your emotions, you can decide for yourself. [Teaching bad friends... Don't imitate, don't imitate!