mayfly dream

In a blink of an eye, it is early summer, ushering in the most humid rainy season.Shi Nanyun has also been recuperating in the temple for more than three months. He feels in good health these few days. He wanted to go out for a walk, but the rainy season outside the house did not stop, and water seeped from the floor of the room.Looking at the continuous rainy season outside the window, I feel even more depressed and sad.

Back at the table, he picked up a volume of scriptures in his hand and looked at them, but he didn’t take them into his heart. He borrowed this volume of scriptures from Zen He. Because he was sick, it was better to stay indoors than to stay in the house. It was going to be a long time outside and I had nothing to do, so I asked Chanhe for a few volumes of scriptures to pass the time.Not long after he sat down, he heard someone knock on the door. Shi Nanyun's heart moved, and he quickly got up to open the door. He saw Zenhe standing outside the door with a blanket in his hand.

Shi Nanyun asked in surprise: "Why are you here at this time?" Normally, at this time, Zen and the students usually do their homework in the room.

Zen said softly: "These days are the rainy season, and the cold is severe. You are not in good health. I brought you an extra blanket."

Shi Nanyun gave Zen He a complicated look, took the blanket, and then smiled again: "Why don't you come in and sit for a while."

Zen and said: "No, I have to go back and do my homework."

Hearing this, the smile on Shi Nanyun's face disappeared, replaced by loneliness, and said: "Oh. That's all right, you can go back."

Zen and Zhi pretended not to see the change in his face, turned around and was about to go back.In fact, after these few months of getting along, apart from the initial stranger to the present acquaintance, Zen and faintly feel that the relationship between the two seems to have become a little different, sometimes it feels very subtle, and feels that Shi Nanyun treats him as if It was different from before, Zenhe already had a little bit of speculation in his heart.It's just that he doesn't want to touch these things anymore. He still remembers the pain three years ago. He can't face it anymore, and he doesn't want to face it anymore. I hope God will stop making such jokes with him. .

The next morning, it finally cleared up. Shi Nanyun thought about going to the back mountain for a walk, so after breakfast, he went in the direction of the back mountain alone. His favorite place to come is the back mountain. Some of them could sit here for a whole day, and when Zen and He delivered medicine to him in the evening, they found that he was not in the room, so they came to the back mountain to look for him, and the two chatted all the way back home.

He lived here for more than three months, so most of the people in the temple knew him, and when he walked halfway, he met a young novice monk, who came to him and bowed his head with palms together, and said, "Master Shi, this is going to the back mountain again. ?"

Shi Nanyun clasped his palms together and returned a salutation, nodded and said, "Yes, let's go for a walk while the weather is fine. Is this little master going to the main hall?"

The little novice said: "Yes, the host called us to talk, so Mr. Shi will take a good walk, and the poor monk will leave first."

Shi Nanyun: "Little master, walk slowly."

In early summer, the maple trees on the back mountain grow more lush, and the huge branches and leaves cover the gazebo. The bottom leaves on the branches are still dripping water, and the ground around the trunk is still wet. Due to the rain in the past few days The amount of water in the mountain spring not far away has also become larger than usual, rushing down the cliff.Shi Nanyun found a rock and sat down on the edge of the cliff. Looking at the open scenery outside the cliff, his heart surged for a moment, and he thought: "Such a beautiful scenery, it would be great if Zen harmony is here." Thinking of Zen harmony, Shi Nanyun's mouth twitched Consciously, he rose slightly, but when he thought that he was about to die, he became sad again.Recalling the details of the two of them getting along in the past few months, I feel more and more uncomfortable, because I don't know when, Shi Nanyun found that he was used to the days of Chanhe, and every time Chanhe came to visit him, he would Feeling happy, Zen and He left, and his mood immediately became lost. He already understood in his heart that he had a different view of Zen and He.Knowing that this is a feeling that will not be accepted by the world, he can't imagine how Zenhe would react if he knew his thoughts, so he never dared to reveal this feeling, and never thought about it. To tell the truth, I tried my best to hide my thoughts.The only hope is that his life will not end so early, so that he can spend more time with Zen and Zai.

Sitting and sitting, he did not know when he fell asleep. He didn't wake up until the cold raindrops hit his face. It turned out that after he fell asleep, it began to rain again.Shi Nanyun hurriedly ran into the gazebo to avoid the rain. Seeing the rain getting heavier and heavier, he couldn't help feeling worried. He didn't know when the rain would last. It seemed that it was still noon. Even Zen and He probably had to wait until the evening to deliver the medicine. Only when he knew that he was in the back mountain, Shi Nanyun sighed, and began to regret coming to the back mountain today.After sitting in the gazebo for a while, I felt a bit cold. I gathered my clothes, but the rain outside was not showing any signs of stopping. The corner of my eyes accidentally caught the way up. Shi Nanyun lost his mind for a moment. , because he saw a gray-white figure walking in this direction with an umbrella, like Zen He, but the umbrella blocked the person's face, and the rain was a bit heavy, so he couldn't see clearly, and at this time Chan He probably didn't know that he came to the back mountain, so Shi Nanyun was a little unsure if he was Chan He or not.Until the man approached, Shi Nanyun saw his face clearly, it was really Chan He.Seeing Zen and walking into the gazebo, Shi Nanyun was both moved and delighted for a moment, and couldn't help asking, "How do you know I'm here? Shouldn't you be doing your homework at this time?"

Chan said: "I heard from my junior brother that you came to the back mountain in the morning, and I just saw that it was going to rain, so I came to look for you."

"So that's the case, but you're all wet." Shi Nanyun said, looking at Zen and the drenched hem, both moved and guilty.

"It's okay, let's go." While talking, Chanhe handed Shi Nanyun an umbrella.

It was raining heavily and the road was slippery. Shi Nanyun held an umbrella and followed Zenhe, looking at his gray back, he felt inexplicably at ease, even in this thunderstorm environment. sense of security.The two walked back slowly holding umbrellas. Although they had umbrellas, they were soaked through the rain when they returned to the temple.Shi Nanyun dried himself off and changed his clothes. When he heard someone knocking on the door, he hurried to open the door. Chan He was standing outside with a bowl of ginger soup.At this time, Shi Nanyun had just put on his coat, and before he could button it up, a large piece of skin was exposed on his chest. Seeing that it was Chan He, he felt embarrassed, his face blushed, and he quickly buttoned up his coat, saying in embarrassment: " Why did you come here so quickly?"

Seeing his embarrassment, Chan He's heart moved, his slightly cold eyes lowered, and he said, "You drink the ginger soup first, so as not to cause a cold."

Upon hearing this, Shi Nanyun's eyes were filled with soft light, and he said, "Okay."

Although he drank ginger soup the day before, Shi Nanyun fell ill the next day as expected.Chan and Lai Shiyao pushed open the door and saw Shi Nanyun lying on the couch with a pale face, and went over to carefully lift him up.When Shi Nanyun got up, he smelled Zen and the sandalwood fragrance mixed with the medicinal fragrance on his body again, and he immediately felt much relieved.

After drinking the medicine, Shi Nanyun leaned on Chanhe's back and said with difficulty: "Chanhe, I thought about it for a long time last night. I don't have much time. Instead of traveling around alone, it's better to quietly wait for the day when I leave , I don't want to go anymore, the ancient temple is a sacred place, so I can die here."

Hearing this, Chanhe didn't look back, but just replied faintly: "Okay".The bowl in his hand was trembling faintly.

Asking Shi Nanyun to lie down again, Chanhe packed up the bowl and turned to go out.Shi Nanyun was lying on the bed, staring blankly at the back of Chan and Leaving. In fact, what he just said was selfish. After living for 19 years, Chan and He was the only person who made him fall in love. Even if he couldn't get a response, he died It would be worthwhile to have him by my side.

That night, Shi Nanyun had a dream. He dreamed that he had become a mayfly, lived and died, and lived his short life in the water. In the dream, he seemed to see a blurry figure, whose face could not be seen clearly, but felt very familiar. ,very familiar.