I am him [Comprehensive]

After he really said this sentence, Kongphop realized that it is not so difficult to act according to his own heart.

But M's sudden pale face still made his heart tighten.

M stayed for a while before digesting his words, and said with trembling lips: "Didn't we agree?"

Kongphop took a deep breath and looked at him seriously: "M, tell me honestly, what do you think?"

"I...I..." M looked at him in a panic, the confusion in his heart made him unable to find what to say for a while, "I just don't want to show so many people a joke, now everyone knows that I and you We were together, but you broke up with me because of him."

M's eye sockets were a little red.

He was really unwilling, and these words did not represent his heartfelt voice.

In fact, most of the time, in front of Kongphop, he doesn't have to perform at all.

Because his jealousy for Arthit almost never subsided, eating away at his heart every moment.

Seeing him like this, Kongphop felt uncomfortable again.

In M, he seemed to see himself who was rejected by Arthit thousands of miles away.

It's also falling in love with someone who can't be tempted by him. I'm afraid no one would want others to see this kind of embarrassment.

M was unwilling, and when he faced Arthit, how could he really be willing.

But even though he understood M's sadness, he still said in a low voice: "M, no one will laugh at you because of this. It's just a breakup. It's no big deal. After a long time, everyone will naturally forget about it, but if we want to keep Lying, when will this matter come to an end? And Tiw and them, they are your friends, are we going to lie to them all the time? No matter what it is, it will be uncomfortable to be deceived."

He didn't understand this truth before, so he kept lying to himself and M, making both of them think that they might have a happy future.

But in the end, M hurt even more.

He didn't want to lie anymore.

The word "deception" made M's whole body stiffen, and all the unwillingness in his belly seemed to be vented at that moment.

In fact, for Kongphop, he is the biggest liar.

And recently, he has always had a premonition that he will not be able to hide this lie.

On the day when everything is revealed, he really doesn't know how Kongphop will hate him.

But there are some roads that once passed, there is no turning back, even if the front is dark, he can only bite the bullet and go to the end.

M's eyes quickly turned gray, and the displeasure on his face gradually turned into a wry smile.

"Okay, it's up to you. But let me tell Tim and the others about this. I don't want to be the object of their careful sympathy. For me, it might end better."

Hearing that he finally agreed, Kongphop couldn't help but heaved a long sigh of relief, and he didn't care who spoke about it.

He hesitated to look at M for a while, and finally couldn't help but say: "M, you know, we grew up together, and I never regarded you as an outsider. I know what to say and I will continue to treat you as an outsider." It’s an asshole for you to say the best buddy, but I really think so, no matter what happens in the future, you can still find me. But if you think this will bother you..."

Kongphop paused, and then continued: "I can also stay away from you."

Before meeting Arthit, Kongphop was like a complete bystander to the relationship between M and him.

He knew that M would be sad, but that kind of sadness was very abstract to him, and he didn't know how to even comfort her.

And now he has also become another person who is deeply trapped in it, so he instantly understands that as long as he falls in love, even if he just looks at Arthit from a distance like him, he can't help but get deeper and deeper, let alone M Get along with him day and night.

He knew that he couldn't respond to M's feelings no matter what, and the only thing he could do was to stay away from him.

M bit her lower lip, raised her head and asked him, "Do you think so too? Stay away from him."

Hearing him mentioning Arthit again, Kongphop froze for a moment, his face turned ugly again.

He broke up with those two people just now, and his heart has been blocked because of Arthit's kiss to Not until now, no matter how much he likes him, it is impossible to calm down now.

He turned his head aside, and said angrily: "Of course, I didn't have any contact with him before, and we won't have any in the future."

He spoke harshly, but he knew in his heart that the reason why he said that was only because of Arthit's dislike for him.

Even now, as long as Arthit waved to him, he would rush back to Arthit in a hurry.

The one you love more will never have any spine to speak of.

The reason why I can pay attention to any backbone is because no matter how humble I am, I can't ask for it.

M looked at him silently, as if trying to find traces of lies in his eyes.

It's just that the traces are so obvious, why should he look for them seriously?

M smiled wryly.

Since entering this school, he has been able to adjust his emotions proficiently in a short period of time.

For example, now, the sockets of his eyes are still red, but the accusation in his eyes has long since faded away, leaving only a hint of sadness.

"I'm different from you. Anyway, even if we can't be together, we still have so many years of friendship. If we can't be lovers, I don't want to lose even your friend." As he spoke, the wry smile on his lips deepened , "Otherwise, I really don't know what else I have left."

Hearing his words, Kongphop's heart constricted for a while.

Kongphop can probably be regarded as a person with a wide range of friends. From childhood to adulthood, he has many friends around him.

But the one who really made him feel like a brother is only M.

He's still young, far from the point where he needs to look back, but all these years, in his subconscious mind, he's always thought that, even in his octogenarian years, M will still be his best buddy.

Maybe even their children and grandchildren can mingle together.

Unexpectedly, this life has only just started, and reality has already taught him what it means to change things in the world.

What he likes are men, and he doesn't even have children, so how can there be any intergenerational friendship?

A lifetime is too long, and you can't see the end at a glance. I thought it would be the same, but it has changed beyond recognition early on.

I don't know if his feelings for Arthit are the same.

If that person always loathes him like this, will he give up this hopeless love sooner or later?

This kind of thinking should obviously make people feel relieved, but when he thinks about it, Kongphop still feels a heartache that is almost suffocating.

A lifetime is too long to see the end at a glance, he clearly knows it.

But why does he feel so stubbornly that even if there is no hope for this love, he can't let go?

Thinking that he might live in such despair all his life, watching Arthit spend his life with others, Kongphop even lost all his strength.

He sat down on the bed dejectedly, and whispered to M: "It's up to you, the materials are on the desk, you can collect them and take them there. I don't want to go to class today, so lock the door for me when you leave."

After speaking, he wrapped himself in the quilt.

But this posture inevitably reminded him of the unexpected happiness when he woke up in the morning.

Probably in his whole life, he will never experience the feeling of that time again.