Can't be chased

An Fan has a quiet personality, and usually doesn't like to go out very much. After she became pregnant, she almost became a plant that only lives indoors, constantly tending to wilt.

After almost every inspection, Song Li advised Anfan not to be bored at home all the time, but to go out and get some fresh air. The mood during pregnancy is very important, so he always laughed it off.

He resisted the doctor's orders on this point very stubbornly, and never obeyed.

This was not a matter of taking injections and taking medicine forcefully. Song Li had no choice but to tell Sheng Ming in private, asking him to pay more attention and take Anfan out for a while.

Sheng Ming didn't realize this at all.He has always been used to Anfan staying at home. Except for the time when Anfan went out to work, whether he came back from get off work or came home temporarily, he could see that person at any time, and he never felt anything wrong. Now Hearing what Song Liyi said, I think it makes sense.

After all, even though Song Li was an annoying person, the doctor still spoke louder than the sky when it came to An Fan's physical problems.

Sheng Ming's patience with An Fan grew more and more, and the scope of life of the two of them who wanted to expand became wider and wider. They no longer had to say what they said and keep them at home as before.

Sheng Ming held his rare carefulness, and while An Fan was watching TV in the living room after dinner, he ran to the bedroom to prepare coats, scarves, hats and other equipment, tried to pick out a pair of shoes that were most suitable for walking, and thought about it He poured another thermos cup of hot water to prevent An Fan from getting tired and thirsty.

But to Sheng Ming's surprise, when he went to the living room with his things and said to go for a walk, and urged Anfan to change his clothes, Anfan refused.

An Fan's complexion was very bad, and his tone was also very stiff: "I don't want to go."

His eyes were fixed on the TV, and he didn't even give Sheng Ming a look. There was an advertisement on the TV, and he didn't know what was interesting.

Sheng Ming frowned, but was not angry: "What's wrong?"

An Fan didn't know what was going on, but he was very angry right now. He grabbed the remote control and turned off the TV as if venting his anger. He threw the remote control on the sofa with some strength, turned around and walked to the bedroom.

Sheng Ming was not offended by him so much, he was stunned for two seconds with the coat and scarf in his hand, the veins on his forehead twitched, he let out a sigh of relief, and followed him to the bedroom.

An Fan buried himself in the quilt, with his back facing the door, and the quilt was pulled up high, revealing only the top of his dark hair.

Sheng Ming was baffled by his refusal to communicate. After thinking about it, he didn't know what he did wrong.

When it was time to sleep, An Fan felt Sheng Ming go to bed, and then he got up from the bed, his eyes flickering.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to lose my temper with you today."

Seeing his apologetic look, Sheng Ming sighed. He was actually quite surprised by himself. He didn't feel angry at all when his face was thrown like this. He just kept pulling at a string, thinking that nothing would happen to Anfan.

Sheng Ming pinched his face, his voice was a little helpless: "Tell me why you are angry?"

Anfan paused for a long time before stammering, "It's weird... I don't want to be seen by others."

An Fan lowered his eyes and didn't look up at him. Sheng Ming's subordinates stopped, stared at An Fan's face carefully, and said normally: "The moon is still young, I can't see it when I put on my coat, worry What are you doing so much?"

An Fan didn't speak, and closed his eyes. Sheng Ming's eyes were on his belly which was not too obvious under the quilt, and his heart was beating a little fast.

He felt as if he had touched something that he hadn't noticed before, which made him feel uneasy when he didn't know what it was, and he didn't dare to uncover it too impatiently.

In the next few days, Sheng Ming tried his best to pull Anfan out, travel, go to the supermarket, go out to eat, including taking a walk in the community without going out, and tried all kinds of reasons. I had exhausted my humility, and although I didn't have many congratulations in the first half of my life, they were all rejected by Anfan without exception.

The veil of uneasiness became thinner and thinner, and Sheng Ming became more and more aware that something was wrong, and he began to observe An Fan calmly.

He found some problems with this observation.He has seen other pregnant women before, they like to touch their stomachs to communicate with their babies, but An Fan never did it once, as if he deliberately avoided that part of the abdomen, his hands rarely touch the abdomen, let alone touch it action.

This bit of doubt is like the initial prairie spark. Once it is ignited, more and more signs will be presented before the eyes, and the head will easily emerge from the low grass when blown by the wind.

An Fan never took the initiative to bring up the topic of children, and only occasionally responded when Sheng Ming talked about it, lacking in interest; he even stopped responding to the occasional future life that Sheng Ming mentioned, as if he didn't care much and had no expectations .

Sheng Ming didn't dare to provoke people too much, and just continued to bother him about going out.At first, An Fan just refused in a cold voice, but then he got completely annoyed and lost his temper.

The water glass was placed heavily on the table by him, he turned and went to the bedroom and slammed the door: "I said I don't want to go out."

Sheng Ming grabbed An Fan's arm: "Like I said, you can't tell when you put on the coat. What are you worried about?"

An Fan didn't look at him, he exerted strength on his arms, and his movements became louder: "If you don't want to go out, you don't want to go out! Why do you have to do this?"

Sheng Ming changed from his gentle and soft attitude, and became very tough.He pulled An Fan away from his upper body, made him look at him, and asked word by word: "Tell me the reason."

An Fan stared at him with his neck straightened, with a look that would rather die than submit, a rare stubbornness.

Time passed by, and neither of them gave way.After a long time, Sheng Ming sighed in his heart, just about to let him go.It became increasingly difficult for him to use force to make this person submit, often before the other party was defeated, he had already collapsed.

The moment before he let go, An Fan's eyes suddenly changed, as if his stubbornness had come to an end, and a corner of the fortress had finally collapsed.

Sheng Ming was startled, and kept his posture, watching An Fan's eyes slump, and his body, which was clamped by his arms, softened a little weakly as if a muscle had been pulled.

A low voice sounded in the room, with self-deprecating and unconcealable disgust: "Whether others can see it or not, I am a monster..."

Sheng Ming let go of his hand, and An Fan took advantage of the opportunity to sit on the side of the bed, his eyes were in the dark, but his whole body exuded a strong sense of despair.

The veil was completely torn off, revealing the whole thing that had disturbed him for several days.

Sheng Ming clenched and loosened his hands several times, but he couldn't hold back after all, picked up the ornaments on the table and threw them out.

He grabbed Anfan's collar like a raging animal: "What the hell are you thinking! How could you be like this..."

He wanted to say "how can you say that about yourself", but when he got to the end of the sentence, his throat seemed to be completely blocked, and he couldn't speak completely.

There were tears dripping on his hand holding An Fan's collar, An Fan lowered his head, Sheng Ming couldn't see his expression clearly, but his heart ached from the tears.It takes thousands of drops for a drop of water to wear through a rock, but it only takes one drop for An Fan's tears to pierce his heart.

It turned out that he thought so.

Sheng Ming seemed to have been punched, and his anger was replaced by powerlessness.He put his arms around Anfan, put his fingers on his face and wiped away his tears.An Fan's face was exposed in the light, what a painful and helpless face it was, but he had never noticed it before.

No matter what his fingers couldn't wipe away the tears, Sheng Ming simply picked him up and put him on the bed.

He turned around without making a sound and went straight to the bathroom, and came back under An Fan's flustered gaze, with an extra hot towel in his hand.

Tears wet the eyelashes, Sheng Ming wiped his face meticulously, and stopped when it was completely clean.

"Sheng Ming." An Fan's mood stabilized slightly, and he whispered, "I'm sorry, I..."

"Crack!" The wet towel was thrown on the table next to him, cutting off An Fan's words.

Sheng Ming couldn't help but push him into the bed, An Fan let him move obediently, but his eyes were glued to his expressionless face.

An Fan watched as Sheng Ming went back to the bathroom with the towel, then opened the bedroom door and went out.He stared at the closed door for a long time, then curled up under the covers, curled up into a ball.

Like, he screwed things up again.

Sheng Ming sat in the living room for a long time, the ashtray was full of cigarette butts, he opened the window for ventilation, the winter wind blowing in was very cold, and it might soak into the bedroom, he thought about it and closed the window I ran to the balcony to blow the cold air.

He has always been used to himself, he doesn't know how to consider other people's feelings, and he doesn't know how to explore the thoughts under the skin of others.It's enough for him to be comfortable, what other people like is none of his business, but An Fan is different to him.

The first time he was anxious because of a person, maybe it was just that An Fan answered the phone a few seconds late, he tried to take care of another person's preferences for the first time, tried to live with another person for the first time, tried to Doting, understanding, and learning the normal emotional relationship of others is just because he longs to spend his whole life with a person for the first time.

He was content with a little bit of progress, complacently immersed in his self-conceived happiness, only to find out tonight that everything was just his wishful thinking.There is no confession and dependence, no joy and expectation, they are all fucking illusions, illusions created by An Fan with fear and self-loathing.

Sheng Ming closed his eyes suddenly, it turns out that feelings are not necessarily a good thing, it hurts too much.

That idiot, so timid, hugged his leg when we met for the first time and almost turned into a quail. How scared did he have to be?

Song Li didn't sleep well tonight, and just as he was too sleepy to go to bed, he was called out of the house by a phone call that reminded him of his death.

"What are you bothering about!"

An Fan started to have a fever at night, and the fever was fierce. When Sheng Ming entered the room, he found that his face was flushed, and his palms were so hot that his consciousness was already a little confused.

When Song Li gave An Fan the injection, Sheng Ming was sitting by the bed, quietly watching the needle pierce into the skin, An Fan's body trembled, and he returned to unconscious chaos.

Sheng Ming did not speak from the beginning to the end, and apart from covering An Fan with a quilt, the two of them had no physical contact.

Song Liben was suppressing his anger, seeing him so angry that the top of his head wanted to smoke: "When is it now, you dare to make him sick? If he can't take care of him well, he will be sent to the hospital. Don't fucking suffer with you."

Sheng Ming didn't refute, he raised his eyelids and glanced at him, then turned and went out.Song Li choked back at what he said, feeling something wrong with Sheng Ming's emotions.

Damn it, he couldn't help but want to scold, but unfortunately, he could only vent his anger in his heart against a sleepy An Fan.It's really difficult to be a doctor. Not only does he have to treat people's illnesses, but he also has to be an emotional consultant...