Can't be chased

Before nine o'clock, Sheng Ming pulled An Fan onto the bed and hugged him in his arms.

He still feels a little miraculous now. Although An Fan is intersex, Sheng Ming has always regarded him as a man. The baby he hadn't thought of a few months ago has already arrived.

He put his palm on Anfan's lower abdomen and rubbed it lightly. There was no movement there yet, but a little life was quietly conceiving.

"Would you say he was a boy or a girl?"

An Fan's voice was also very soft: "Which one do you want?"

"It's all good, um...but if it's a son, it's probably going to be rough, so it's better to be a daughter."

An Fan moved his lips, then held back the words.He wants to ask, what if it's not a boy or a girl, but a monster like me?

It's just that he couldn't hide the joy and anticipation in Sheng Ming's gentle eyebrows, but he still didn't ask.

Sheng Ming's hand was protecting his abdomen all night, An Fan kept his eyes open all night, with Sheng Ming's warm embrace behind him, his lower abdomen became a little hot from his covering, but An Fan didn't move.

Sheng Ming's temper had been suppressed on purpose before, and in the days that followed, it seemed that he had changed. Song Li said that he was quick to agree to ban smoking, and occasionally he couldn't get over the addiction and never smoked in the room. On the contrary, it was An Fan's temper got a little bad.

His pregnancy reaction came very early and was very strong. He was almost unable to eat at all, and he could vomit until he woke up early.

He became uncontrollably anxious, wanted to lose his temper, and resisted Sheng Ming's help even when he was very weak.But he has always been gentle, and the so-called temper is mostly sulking with himself and himself. Occasionally, he couldn't help but lose his temper with Sheng Ming, but he immediately apologized, and doubled the blame on himself.

At the beginning, Sheng Ming didn't realize anything, he even liked An Fan who indulged his emotions in front of him like this.In the past, the relationship between the two of them seemed to have been deadlocked for some time, except that Sheng Ming was too arrogant and didn't know how to look down. In fact, it had a lot to do with An Fan's always being too humble.He put himself too low and Sheng Ming too high. The relationship he developed was always pathological, and he couldn't get satisfaction from it. Sheng Ming also couldn't experience the so-called normal love.

And when An Fan finally showed some willfulness, those dissatisfied emotions made him more alive, and at the same time made Sheng Ming feel the authenticity of this relationship.

Two people in a relationship should be equal in that relationship, no matter what their status is in reality or how big the gap is.

But over time, Sheng Ming also became anxious.Song Li was summoned almost every day, but in the face of Anfan's strong early pregnancy reaction, he was helpless and could only inject him with some energy-enhancing medicines.

Song Li knew very well in his heart that this dramatic reaction had a lot to do with Anfan's mental factors.Although An Fan never said that he followed the doctor's orders seriously, did what he told him to do, and appeared normal, but the fear, rejection, and resistance in his heart did not appear on the surface, but stimulated his body to react.

The initial joy gradually faded away, Sheng Ming's thoughts were withdrawn from the child, and all his attention was placed on Anfan.

He used to only think about them having a child, but he never knew that this process was so difficult for An Fan, and it was the same for himself.

An Fan was pregnant in August, and when the first snow fell, his stomach was already a little pregnant, but the pregnancy reaction was the same as before, not at all good.

In the few months before the pregnancy, the person had just been nourished a little more hydrated, and then lost weight quickly, becoming paler and weaker than before, making the belly more obvious than normal.He didn't have much insomnia anymore, but he started to stay awake all night and open his eyes to wait for dawn.

He didn't tell Sheng Ming that a person traced his eyebrows and eyes for time at night.He felt that he was still too weak, and in the silent night, the loathing of himself and the fear of death would still overwhelm him like a tide.

He told himself again and again, don't be so worthless, but it was still useless. Those frequent self-warnings were only enough for him to maintain a barely normal appearance during the day. How tricky.

In fact, these days are not all uncomfortable. An Fan even feels unprecedented happiness from it. He and Sheng Ming seem to have really become a pair of lovers.

Every morning when the sun shines in from the window, he closes his eyes and pretends to be asleep, nestling in Sheng Ming's arms, waiting for that person to give him a good morning kiss; Sheng Ming forbids him to step into the kitchen, Sheng Ming loves spicy food, but From the very beginning of pregnancy, Anfan started a light diet with Anfan; Anfan didn't want to eat, but repeatedly swallowed a few mouthfuls of food under Sheng Ming's soft coaxing. Sheng Ming was willing to coax him, but Anfan couldn't see him disappointed.

Sometimes he would think, is this still the condescending Sheng Ming who looked down on him back then?Time flies, and two or three years have passed in a blink of an eye. From his initial dependence on Sheng Ming to his deep love that can never fade away, but what about Sheng Ming?Occasionally, he would even have the illusion that Sheng Ming also liked him, and in the night when it was so quiet that the world seemed to have died, the hand that had always been protecting his belly would disintegrate.

An Fan also went out to work after he lived here. Sheng Ming didn't show any obvious displeasure at first, but he might be annoyed later, and asked him to resign with a frown.He has always been very domineering in certain matters, and An Fan would not disobey him, but after that, the small bookshelf that belonged to him was placed in the study, and the books in it became more and more diverse.

Recently, An Fan's occasional slow reading before going to bed has become Sheng Ming's audio reading. This is the only time An Fan can calm down a little. over him.

An Fan nestled in Sheng Ming's arms, watching him turn the pages of the book, his eyes gradually ran up.

Sheng Ming has also been very hard during this time. He has always been rigorous about company affairs and refused to be perfunctory. Coupled with An Fan's poor physical condition, it took a lot of effort to balance the two.He has just begun to understand the so-called love, which has added a lot of sweet burdens, but he has always had that unshakable and capable appearance, and he can't see a trace of fatigue on weekdays.

"Close your eyes, or I won't read to you."

Sheng Ming put An Fan down, and took advantage of the opportunity to pinch the soft flesh on the back of his neck. He liked this kind of intimate gesture very much.An Fan didn't listen to him, and struggled to go up: "Then give it to me, and I'll see for myself."

The book was pushed aside casually, Sheng Ming pressed down, his breath sprayed on An Fan's face, and his voice sank: "Have you been in a bad mood lately?"

An Fan grabbed a strand of his hair, rubbed it between his fingers, and smiled provocatively: "Then you come and clean me up."

The atmosphere instantly became ambiguous, Sheng Ming choked up, touched An Fan's buttocks, and slapped him hard.

The space in the quilt was so small that An Fan couldn't hide: "This is what you said to clean up."

Sheng Ming gritted his teeth: "What else?"

As soon as An Fan moved his mouth, Sheng Ming's lips covered his lips, directly blocking his increasingly presumptuous mouth.He smacked Anfan's lips fiercely as if venting his anger, and he went to the bathroom angrily until the person under him was almost out of breath.

An Fan lay on the bed and looked at his back. He was still out of breath, but laughed lowly.

It would be great if they could go on like this forever.

But the reality didn't go on as smoothly as An Fan expected. This painful and sweet contradictory life didn't last long, at least not as long as An Fan thought he could last.