Solitary

He Jiqing's phone call came at this moment.Lin Shu was crying uncontrollably, he didn't answer.The Chinese New Year is a festive occasion, and he didn't want to affect He Jiqing.

He Jiqing called again, and he gave up after repeating it three times.Soon, he sent a WeChat message: "Why don't you answer the phone?"

Lin Shu wiped away her tears and did not reply to him.

He put a thermos cup beside Li Hua's bed, which was filled with warm water that didn't burn his mouth.He closed the door and went out, stood in the quiet living room, looked around, and found that one of the electrified incense candle lamps in front of the Guandi statue was not lit, he went to check and found that it was a bad connection.He changed a power strip, and the joss stick lighted up again. The plastic red light looked cheap and unreal, and there was a red paper flower in the center of the white rice piled next to it. "Fan Chunhua" is used to pray for good luck in the new year.Guan Gong on the hand-made portrait at the back is holding the Qinglong Yanyue knife, his eyes are like torches, and he is majestic.People in Dongshan Island worship Guandi, mostly to pray for the safety of their homes and the prosperity of their population.

Lin Shu looked at Guan Gong's firm eyes on the portrait, and thought in his heart that he hoped that Guan Di would bless his loved ones and live a happy life.He finally sat down on the sofa, and there were already non-stop sound of firecrackers outside, from far to near.The TVs of the neighbors are turned on very loudly, and there are the lively programs of the Spring Festival Gala in all directions, the sound of playing mahjong, and the laughter of relatives after reunion.

At this time of year, his house is also lively.

Li Hua was busy preparing for the midnight farewell and the New Year greetings for his uncles and uncles the next day.Even if her uncle doesn't like her, but when it comes to festivals, she will have the courtesy she should have.Everyone does.

Lin Jian will help her, but of course, he will always be disgusted.The sound of firecrackers outside was one after another, and the Spring Festival Gala was playing on the TV, and the sound was turned up to the loudest.He was ordered by Li Hua and Lin Jian to take things, red paper for a while, scissors for a while, all things they could get easily.

When the countdown to the New Year's Eve of the Spring Festival Gala begins, everyone will stop their busy work at the same time, stand in front of the TV, and count down together.

"five four three two one!"

No matter how disagreeable people are, they are working together and speaking with one voice.

The sound of fireworks and firecrackers outside will become rapid and intense at that moment.Everyone is rushing, at the best moment, to greet the best blessing with excitement.When Li Hua and Lin Jian talked, they had to roar, as if they were arguing, but they had a smile on their faces.After this moment was over, Li Hua continued his unfinished goodbye, and Lin Jianhui took Lin Shu downstairs to set off fireworks.Most of the neighbors are downstairs, and when they see each other, they speak auspicious words.

At such a special moment, the memories of the past only intensify the sadness.Lin Shu covered his face to prevent himself from crying.

After a while, He Jiqing sent many WeChat messages.

"Why don't you answer the phone? It's not convenient to be with your family?"

"What did you have for New Year's Eve dinner?"

"I spent the New Year at my parents' house, and the New Year's Eve dinner was very full."

He posted a photo of the dinner table, the plate was beautifully arranged, and three different hands appeared in the photo, which made it very lively.

"My brother took his girlfriend home and we had a drink together.

"We're going to watch the fireworks by the river later."

"And you? How are you?"

"Lin Shu, are you okay?"

……

He's worried about him.Lin Shu held back tears, and replied to him: "I'm fine. My mother made a table of seafood, but I didn't eat much. I also drank alcohol. It's white wine, which is very bad."

He took a picture of his confiscated dining table, most of the assorted seafood remained untouched.There is unfinished wine in the wine glass.

He Jiqing asked: "Is your mother drunk?"

He was too sharp, Lin Shu didn't speak.

"You don't know how to drink liquor by yourself." He Jiqing was sure.

Lin Shu couldn't hold back his tears, he found a tissue and quickly wiped his eyes.

He Jiqing said: "I'll call you, this time you have to answer."

Fortunately, he didn't say he wanted a video call.Lin Shu replied: "Yes."

The phone vibrated quickly, and the word "Ji Qing" jumped on the screen.Lin Shu wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes with a tissue, took a deep breath and swiped down to answer the call.

"Lin Shu, are you okay?"

The moment He Jiqing's voice sounded, Lin Shu's tears fell down again, and he blocked it with a tissue.

"Very good." His voice was hoarse.The sound of firecrackers outside increased.

"Huh—?" He Jiqing didn't hear clearly.

He raised his voice: "Very good!"

He Jiqing heard his hoarse voice: "You are not good!"

"Baijiu is very spicy and burns the throat." Lin Shu explained loudly.The sound of firecrackers became louder and louder, and people began to set off fireworks in the community.Colorful fireworks soared into the sky and screamed.

"How much did you drink?" He Jiqing's voice also raised his voice.

"I don't know how much I drank, but I'm not drunk anyway."

"Where's your mother?"

"Sleep!"

"Is there something wrong with you?"

"No."

"Where's your dad, didn't you go home for the New Year?"

"Ah."

"Are you okay, Lin Shu?" He Jiqing asked him again.

Lin Shu didn't speak, for fear that if she opened her mouth, the truth would be revealed.He didn't want to influence He Jiqing, not at all.He wants him to have a happy new year.He took a tissue and desperately blocked his eyes.In the throat, it is no longer possible to make a normal sound.

"Are you okay, Lin Shu?" He Jiqing asked persistently.

Lin Shu took a deep breath desperately, he squeezed his throat and replied, "It's pretty good, that's—"

He couldn't finish a full sentence in one breath.

He Jiqing was waiting for him, and his side was quite lively on the phone, many people were talking, and someone shouted: "Brother, brother, we are going down, are you okay?"

He Jiqing didn't respond.

"I miss you very much, He Jiqing!" Lin Shu suppressed the great sadness in his chest, and finally said it calmly.He kept wiping his tears and snot, and threw a pile of tissues on the ground.

"I miss you too, Lin Shu." He Jiqing said.

"Happy New Year!" Lin Shu hurriedly said while still in control.His tears grew more and more, his throat tightened.Maybe in the next second, he couldn't bear it anymore.

"Happy New Year, Lin Shu." Just as He Jiqing finished speaking, He Annian approached and patted him on the shoulder: "Brother, hurry up, we are leaving!"

He Jiqing wanted to say goodbye to Lin Shu, but the other end had already hung up.He Annian urged him: "Let's go!"

He Jiqing turned around. Seeing his appearance, He Annian forcibly put away his smiling face and asked him, "Brother, what's wrong with you?"

He Jiqing was silent, and He Annian began to panic: "I, am I bothering you?"

He Jiqing shook his head: "It's none of your business."

His chest was in pain, as if someone had dug out a piece of flesh.In such a beautiful festival, Lin Shu stayed alone, he cried so much, he must have cried until his eyes were swollen.His voice was hoarse.He is so vulnerable, he must be very sad.He didn't tell him, he was afraid of affecting him.He knows what's on his mind.

Lin Shu fell on the sofa, bit his arm, and cried quietly until his body shrank into a ball.

The fireworks and firecrackers outside made the quiet night lively.

He Jiqing followed He Annian and his girlfriend and drove to the edge of the Yangtze River. The riverside park was brightly lit, and there were many people gathered, mostly young men and women, who drove here.In the center of the park, fireworks have already started.Cluster after cluster, they exploded in the dark night, temporarily illuminating the night sky, and every pair of faces on the riverside looking up to happiness and happiness.The river wind is cold, and the fireworks are reflected on the river surface, shining brightly.

When He Annian's girlfriend saw the fireworks, like the other girls present, she screamed with excitement.Romance like a movie.He Annian held up his phone and took a picture of her screaming.

Someone shouted: "It's almost countdown!"

Red fireworks, two oversized flowers explode in the sky.They stopped in mid-air and never left for a long time.New fireworks soared into the sky again, preventing the night sky from being lonely for a moment.This is the Spring Festival, and it is full of excitement.

Quiet is torture.

He Jiqing raised his mobile phone, took pictures of the huge fireworks constantly blooming in the sky, and shouted: "Lin Shu, there is one minute and 30 seconds until the new year, 2018!"

He sent the video to Lin Shu.He didn't want to torture him quietly, he wanted him to be lively.

On the neighbors' TV, the host is preparing for the countdown.They shouted in a high-pitched, passionate voice: "There is one minute left, and it will be the New Year. The Year of the Dog is approaching us step by step, and the countdown is about to begin!"

Lin Shu was lying on the sofa with snot and tears on his face, and he didn't know how to wipe it off.The phone in his arms vibrated, he turned it on, it was a video from He Jiqing, there were colorful fireworks, and he was talking.

Right now, the second video comes in.This time the protagonist is him, and he shouted to the camera: "Lin Shu, happy new year, happy new year, happy new year!"

He is wearing a red hat and a red scarf and is surrounded by people.He was among the happy crowd.Lin Shu took out a tissue and wiped his nose.

The countdown to the Spring Festival Gala began, and neighbors shouted all around: "Five, four, three, two, one, happy new year—"

In the end, there was only laughter left.

Fireworks and firecrackers are the same as in previous years. At this moment, they are rushing, dense, enthusiastic, and overwhelming.The night sky over the sea was illuminated.

He Jiqing sent the third video, the huge fireworks 2018 in the night sky, stayed for a while, and gradually disappeared.But soon, the huge lucky characters bloomed in the sky, followed by Happy New Year... Many people counted down together, like his neighbors.

Someone shouted loudly: "Xiao Huan, I love you!"

He Jiqing also shouted: "Lin Shu, I love you!"

Lin Shu looked at He Jiqing in the video with tears in her eyes and said, "I love you too!"

Without He Jiqing, would he really be able to spend the rest of his life safely relying only on memories?

Lin Shu sat paralyzed on the sofa, the laughter and fireworks in his ears gradually disappeared, and his dark reflection appeared on the TV screen on the opposite wall.The reflection swayed like water, and He Jiqing appeared in front of his eyes. He smiled, walked, ran, and called him, "Lin Shu!"

Scenes are all engraved in his mind, memories.Is it enough to comfort the rest of my life?

He regretted it, he really regretted it!

He would rather never have met He Jiqing, he would rather live a normal life.Without He Jiqing's love, without those memories. "I once had", how bitter it is.He has fallen in love with He Jiqing and cannot extricate himself.How is it enough just to remember?He wanted to stand by his side, for the rest of his life.

If He Jiqing were gone, those memories would be the honey to nourish and the knife to kill.The rest of his life will keep scratching his heart until he dies.

He was still too naive, thinking that having once had was a kind of happiness.But I don't know that the pain is doubled when I lose what I once owned.

On the morning of the first day of the new year, Li Hua got up very early, and she looked very pale after waking up.Lin Shu asked her to sleep more, but she said she couldn't sleep.She cooked a pot of sweet noodles according to the custom.People in Dongshan Island call this "sweet soup", which means the sweetness of the New Year.After Lin Shu drank half a bowl, he asked Li Hua, "Do you want to go to the beach together?"

Li Hua said no, she was going to her uncle's house, and her aunts invited her to play mahjong together.The relatives already knew about his family, and everyone said that Lin Jian was wrong, and they were all trying to help Li Hua get Lin Jian back.It is said to be playing mahjong, but it is actually helping to find a way together.

This is not just his family's business, but everyone's business.

Lin Shu knew it all.Li Hua asked him if he wanted to go together, but he said he didn't want to.Li Hua didn't force it.

Lin Shu said, "Em, happy new year."

Li Hua squeezed out a smiling face, entered the room and touched a red envelope for him.He opened it, and it contained 100 yuan.

"You have to study hard and get admitted to the civil service!" Li Hua never forgot.

Lin Shu replied slowly: "Okay."

Lin Shu went to the seaside boardwalk alone.Go early, there is no one on the beach.Just at high tide, the waves roll on the rocks, the waves are very big, and the sea is full of cold, salty and wet taste.He faced the sea and shouted: "He Jiqing—"

There is no echo from the sea, only the howling sea wind.

Early in the morning, He Jiqing received a short video from Lin Shu. He was standing by the sea, with half of his face facing the camera, his hair fluttering.The sea wind is violent in the video.Lin Shu's face was flushed, eyes squinted and shouted in a hoarse voice: "Happy New Year, He Jiqing! I wish you a happy new year with big-selling movies, top-rated TV series, big-selling new books, and longer life." more handsome!"

More than one short video.He sent many more one after another.

Standing in front of a big rock with only one fulcrum standing on the ground, he pointed to the rock and said, "This is a wind rock, and the wind won't blow it down. When I was young, I pushed it with my friends, but I was scolded."

Standing in front of the beautifully decorated ancient temple, he said: "This is the most famous Guandi Temple on Dongshan Island. The wood carvings inside are very beautiful. I drew them when I was sketching in high school!"

He stood in front of the light blue gate, pointed to the blue "Yiran" on the door and said, "This is the house I lived in before. When I was in high school, my dad sold it to someone else."

He stood in front of several fishing boats and said, "This is Fisherman's Wharf. I used to ride a boat here when I was a kid!"

Standing on the steps made of stone, he pointed to the calm blue sea behind him and said, "This is Nanmen Bay. I used to come here to watch the sunrise when I was young!"

He tried his best to show He Jiqing everything about himself, to make up for the regret of not being able to bring him to see it with his own eyes.He told He Jiqing: "This is my hometown, I grew up here."

In He Jiqing's eyes, that was the place where Lin Shu grew up. Even though it looked old and worn out, to him, it was full of unknown freshness.

"Your hometown is very beautiful!"

Yes, Dongshan Island is very beautiful, old, ancient, and simple. It has an open sea, a well-preserved fishing village, and a century-old tradition.Everyone loves its antiquity and tradition.

But being ancient and traditional often means being closed and backward.How many Dongshan people have never been out of Dongshan Island.How many Dongshan people live a life of oppression without knowing it, carrying their traditions on their backs.

For example, his parents, who have no love but want to live together.For example, his grandma pursued more children and more blessings, and never treated his mother well.For example, he likes men but can't tell everyone openly.

Violations of tradition will be punished.It's a big crime to like men.For Lin Shu, the tradition of Dongshan Island is like a boulder on his body and an iron chain on his heart, binding him tightly to this land.If he wants to resist, he will pay a heavy price.