my joann

Chapter 46

Qiao An was resting on the recliner, and he heard Ren Youning's rambling voice, and he didn't pay much attention to it.Now he feels very strange, as if he is very relaxed, but there is some excitement in his mind.

Ren Youning also noticed Qiao An's inattention, he slowly closed his mouth, turned on the speaker next to him, and soft music streamed out, making Qiao An more comfortable.

To be honest, Ren Youning regrets it very much now.In psychotherapy, many opportunities are fleeting. If you don't seize them, you won't know when the next opportunity will come your way.

However, Ren Youning is also a person who will not give up lightly. He repeatedly looked at the note written by Qiao An while discussing the process of desensitization treatment of the entire system.

What exactly made Joan feel anxious?

What he wrote in the first stage, "watching TV with acquaintances in the living room", and when he said it, added a few details.Generally speaking, when doing systematic desensitization treatment for the first time, the consultant will add details to this imagination, so that the other party can enter the scene more easily.

Among the details he added, he included "parents' house", "the people around are parents", "parents are arguing", "the basketball game is playing on TV", "dad occupies the remote control".

His parents accounted for the most weight. Could it be that Joan had shadows about his parents when he was a child?

In many cases, most of the psychological shadows of patients with phobias and depression may come from childhood, such as quarrels or even fights between parents, unfair treatment of children, domestic violence, cold violence and so on.

From the perspective of adding details, this is very likely.

As for the basketball game shown on TV, will Joan be afraid of basketball games?why is that?

Ren Youning will not let go of any possibility. He believes that many seemingly impossible answers are very likely to be the most important key, but everything has to be dug out slowly.

Seeing that Qiao An had almost rested, Ren Youning began to summarize his first systematic desensitization therapy.

"Joan, how do you feel now?"

"It's very relaxing and fun."

"In the note you wrote to me last week, about the first level, which is the lowest anxiety, watching TV in the living room with acquaintances. You gave a score of 0, but just now you showed a very high score." Ren Youning said, "What caused your fear and anxiety?"

Joan looked at the ceiling and said nothing.

After waiting for a while, Ren Youning said, "The interpretation of the word anxiety is 'feeling annoyed and troubled', which is a state closely related to panic, fear, restlessness, tension, worry, etc." He looked at Qiao seriously. An, "Based on..." Ren Youning paused for a moment, and changed the phrase, "There are two sources of anxiety."

Joan was obviously interested. He longed for his recovery in his heart, so he desperately hoped that he could learn more about this.

"There is an equation like this." Ren Youning took out a blank piece of paper and wrote the words 'anxiety=concern+threat' on it.

"This equation means that if there is one thing, a thing or a person is very important to you, you are very concerned about him." Ren Youning drew a horizontal line under the word "concern".

"At the same time, you are aware of the danger, and the danger is imminent." After finishing speaking, Ren Youning clicked under 'Threat'.

"Then, here comes your anxiety."

Qiao An didn't speak, he looked at the words Ren Youning wrote on the paper seriously, as if he understood something.

"From the anxiety ranking table you wrote, it can also be seen that the more strangers you meet, the stronger your state of fear. The reason for all this can be analyzed from what you once told me about your experience in junior high school , it should be from the sense of embarrassment, loneliness, and neglect that your classmates brought to you during your teenage years. Right?"

"Qiao An, although I'm a consultant, I'm not necessarily right. You don't have to force yourself to agree with me. You can say whatever you want. Let's discuss it together." Ren Youning's tone was gentle, and Qiao An's situation was complicated. Ren Youning decided Help him in many ways.

Joan nodded, then said, "Yes."

Ren Youning raised the corner of his mouth and said, "Besides the isolation of you by your classmates in junior high school, what else do you think will cause this situation?"

Joan is an adult with independent thinking ability. His thinking is actually very mature, and he has his own unique insights in many aspects, but because of social fear, he has never shown it.

During the previous treatment, Qiao An has been subtly resisting. Ren Youning tried several methods, but failed to get Qiao An to speak. Now it seems that he was looking in the wrong direction.

"It's not isolated. I didn't like to play with them, but I didn't like to hear them reject me." Joan said, "There are many group activities in junior high school, and I have been rejected."

Ren Youning understood that when something became a habit, Qiao An would naturally think that as long as he talked to people, he would be rejected, so he was subconsciously afraid of talking to people.

"No one is teaming up with me, so I can only do it by myself. Everything is done by myself. I don't like public speaking. A group of people are watching me from below. I..." Joan gasped and said, "I will be afraid."

Ren Youning nodded, but said nothing.

"Even if I was on stage, I couldn't do well. I was panicked, out of breath, sweating, and I couldn't say a word. The people below were laughing, and the more I laughed, the more uncomfortable I was. It was as if my mind was pulled away a little bit. The brain, in the end, the result will not be good."

Qiao An lowered her eyes, and through the warm yellow light, Ren Youning saw the faintly flickering light.

All of a sudden, my heart beat faster, as if I had returned to the day when I first met.

He gasped, and hastily picked up the teacup and took a deep sip to cover up his shameful thoughts.

Some people hold a lot of words in their hearts, and they have never had the opportunity to speak out. They lack a listener.And once this type of people speak, once they meet someone who is willing to listen to them carefully, they will definitely say a lot of things.

"Do you understand that feeling?" Joan's gaze hit the paper on the table with the anxiety formula written on it, and seemed to look further afield through that paper.

"Everyone around you can see you and know you, but no one talks to you, no one touches you, no one wants to make eye contact with you. It's as if they are people from two worlds. It’s as if this person doesn’t exist.”

"You are in a place full of people, but no place belongs to you, and no one can prove your existence."

After saying this, Joan tightly pressed his lips together. He was still looking at the paper on the table, but the tears in his eyes disappeared completely.

"But this happened so many years ago, why does it still affect the present?" Joan asked.

"I'll ask you a question first, and then I'll answer your question." Ren Youning said, "Can you tell me, after leaving junior high school, high school, and even university, will this experience continue, or will it persist in another way? about you?"

Joan thought for a while, then suddenly smiled silently, "Yes."

"Can you tell me?"

Maybe because of what I said just now, Qiao An also felt a little more trust in Ren Youning from the bottom of her heart. This is an intimate relationship connected by "secret".

"Actually, it's almost the same. It may be because of junior high school. I became more withdrawn in high school. No matter if others ignore me, I ignore others. Except for class, I take it by myself." Qiao An said, "There is an empty grove in the school, and I like to go there."

Ren Youning nodded.

"When I was in college, I realized that I might not be withdrawn, but that I was afraid of communicating with people. Everyone was busy in high school, and not many people came to me. It was different when I was in college. There were more people, and then I found that I was very scared. Strangers, afraid of all places with people, even afraid of leaving the room."

Ren Youning asked, "Universities usually live on campus, do you have any fear of your roommates?"

"Yes, so I moved out after the military training." Qiao An smiled, "Actually, I even escaped the military training."

Ren Youning also laughed, but he didn't follow the topic, "Most universities are full of big classes and there are a lot of people. How did you manage to go to class?"

This question is actually a trap.During today's systematic desensitization process, Ren Youning discovered very keenly that although Qiao An could accurately tell the anxiety index, his expression and body reaction were not as expected.

This aspect also confirms one thing.

Ren Youning thought about how anxious he was when he received a call from his senior brother three days ago, when he heard what was explained on the other end of the phone.

Joan did take the medicine without telling him.

Not to mention what Joan's motivation was, as his counselor, this was the first failure of his duty.It's been so long, and he didn't realize that Joan had this idea, thinking about it from the first meeting to now.

Obviously he had many chances to think of this, but he always blindly believed what Joan told him, that he didn't take the medicine.

It is not impossible to take medicine, but Ren Youning almost never suggests taking medicine.The human brain is made up of neurons, and certain chemicals can either excite neurons or inhibit their excitability.

In pharmacology, there are two ways to control neurotransmitters, so there are two corresponding drugs.

One is a stimulant and the other is a depressant.

Inhibitors inhibit the release of neurotransmitters, either by destroying them or directly inhibiting their production.

Either way, it's not good.

Moreover, after taking it for a long time, the brain will adapt to this damage, and then it will develop tolerance, and the dose must be increased.In Ren Youning's view, it was simply a vicious circle.

Once you stop taking it, there is a high possibility of withdrawal reaction.The pain in the body and the strong desire in the heart are really unbearable.

This is only a physiological reason.The deeper reason for Ren Youning's reluctance to choose drugs lies in human emotions.

The longer you take the medicine, the less emotional you become.

Yes, taking medicine will take away all negative emotions such as pain, sadness, loss, anxiety, and anger.But he took much more than that.Happiness, excitement, and emotion will gradually disappear.

No matter how much you want to have these emotions, you just can't.I know there are many beautiful things in the world, but I don't know how to respond to them.I feel that those who love me have never given up on love every minute, but I seem to be unable to love.

I can't love anymore.

Like a robot doing what a human would do and losing the love a human has.

The author has something to say:

Lu Yihang: Our An'an will not become like that!

Joan: Hmm...

Lu Yihang: Absolutely not!

Lu Yihang: And why am I not on camera today? !Looking for spanking? !Can't you see that readers like me more than Ren Youning? !ah? !

Lao Lu: Yes yes yes, you are the most handsome, you are the most beautiful, you are the most popular...

(Muffling) You are the worst...

Notes of Lu's Beloved Wife 46

Walking on the road, suddenly I can't feel anything except you.

Thank you for the nutrient solution irrigated by unknown people, thank you for every mine you threw, and every comment you left.

It deeply makes me feel that my code words are still useful, and there are still people who read them, QAQ

I am so happy to have you on this road, thank you for making me not alone!