lemon early summer

Zhang Xiaoning went back after staying at Gu Xia's place for only two days, because the more she stayed, the more sentimental she became. Every time she saw Gu Xia smiling, she wanted to cry, and she didn't know when, she was like this Feeling good.When Gu Xia sent Zhang Xiaoning away, she clearly caught a glimpse of the tears sliding down the corner of her eyes from the car window.

What is it that makes you worry so much, but you don't say anything, Gu Xia is very puzzled, she is waiting, she thinks, Zhang Xiaoning will talk one day.

The annual leave once a year is equivalent to being squandered in Zhang Xiaoning's hands. She wanted to relax and rest, but after seven days, nothing changed, and she was still restless. At this moment, she finally remembered Wen Yayi's words If so, Wen Yayi said, she should be the one who should see a psychiatrist.

A psychiatrist?Zhang Xiaoning opened the phone's address book, turned to Chen Xiangchen's name, looked left and right, hesitated for half an hour, but never dialed.

She had the same thought as Wen Yayi, she felt that she was not ready to see a doctor, she was just too emotional, too...

When she came back from vacation, her colleagues thought that Zhang Xiaoning would be radiant, but found that she was still a little absent-minded, and came to care about her. Zhang Xiaoning laughed and said that she felt that the annual leave was not enough.But for the next week's work, Zhang Xiaoning became even more powerless. She didn't want to work or go out to play, and she didn't even know where the future was headed.

Decadent, lonely, and tired, Zhang Xiaoning opened the phone's address book again, hesitated for more than ten minutes, and dialed the phone. "Doctor Chen, what day are you going to be next week? I'll come to see you."

"Monday and Tuesday."

Chen Xiangchen didn't ask who it was, and probably received such calls from time to time. Zhang Xiaoning hung up the phone and hung up Chen Xiangchen's Monday number online.

Walking into the gate of the psychiatric department again, Zhang Xiaoning lost the curiosity she had when she came back. She was neither apprehensive nor entangled, nor did she care about the results.When it was her turn, she went to the door and waited, but unexpectedly, there was a patient in front of her who was very nagging, and the back and forth was delayed for nearly half an hour.

Zhang Xiaoning sat down and looked at Chen Xiangchen blankly. Chen Xiangchen asked, "What's going on?"

"I actually hesitated to come here for a long time. I called you last week and you said I would be here today, so I came here."

"Called last week?" Chen Xiangchen seemed to be recalling, "How did you have my phone?"

"Don't you remember me? Zhang Xiaoning, I'm from xx company." Zhang Xiaoning never thought that Chen Xiangchen would forget her, but when he thought about how busy a person like him would be with so many people every day, how could he? I remember them all, not to mention they haven't seen each other for a long time.

Chen Xiangchen finally remembered, "Why did you become like this?" He came up with the same sentence, and Zhang Xiaoning was a little embarrassed when he asked, not knowing what was wrong with him.

"Your mental state is completely different from before, so I didn't recognize it for a while."

"It's okay, I'm in a bad state recently, and I don't know why, I want to cry every day..."

It didn't take long to see the doctor, because Zhang Xiaoning's condition was relatively serious. When she walked out of the psychiatric department with the diagnosis sheet, she was still in a daze, but something seemed to have fallen to the ground in her heart.There are three small words written on the small diagnosis sheet: depression.

When leaving the hospital with a pack of medicine, Zhang Xiaoning did not forget to enter the name of the medicine on the Internet to look it up. It turned out to be a commonly used antidepressant medicine. She looked at the gray sky and wanted to laugh. Who would have thought that she would have this day.

Wen Yayi, who was taking a break from her busy schedule, saw the picture sent by Zhang Xiaoning on WeChat. It was a hospital bill with the word depression written on it. The patient's name was Zhang Xiaoning.Wen Yayi shook her head helplessly, she finally went to the hospital, this result, although unexpected, seemed to be expected.

Wen Yayi: What exactly happened?Where are you now?

Zhang Xiaoning: I just came out of the hospital and was going back to the office.

Wen Yayi: I'll come to see you tonight.

Zhang Xiaoning: No need, it’s no big deal, just take medicine first.

Knowing that Zhang Xiaoning wanted to be alone more at the moment, Wen Yayi didn't say anything more, anyway, it's good to have a result, otherwise I don't know what will happen if it drags on.

For the next week, Zhang Xiaoning took the medicine according to the doctor's advice. In the first three days, she had some side effects of headache and nausea, but it was not serious after all, and then she recovered. A week later, when Zhang Xiaoning sat in front of Chen Xiangchen again, Chen Xiangchen was relieved Say, "Did you realize how different you were from the last time you came here?"

Zhang Xiaoning shook her head blankly. Although taking this medicine did make her mood more stable, she really couldn't say what was different about it.

"When you came last time, you stood outside the door for more than half an hour, motionless. This time, while you were waiting, you wandered outside a few times."

Zhang Xiaoning's eyes widened, as if she didn't expect Chen Xiangchen to remember it so clearly, and it was true in retrospect. From this, she admired this doctor a little bit.I have to say that Chen Xiangchen is indeed a very experienced doctor, and he gained Zhang Xiaoning's trust within a few words. When leaving, Chen Xiangchen said: "Give you a hug, keep going, everything will be fine."

Zhang Xiaoning nodded in agreement, and a firm and warm hug came, but it caused Zhang Xiaoning to burst into tears. She didn't know why she was crying, probably because no one had hugged her like this for too long.

Warmth, what kind of thing is it?Even if it is a life-saving straw, those who are in need will hold on tightly.

Wiping away her tears, Chen Xiangchen watched her leave and waited for the next patient to come in.

Zhang Xiaoning felt that it was the right time for her to come to the hospital. She also began to gradually understand the disease of depression. It is not only a mental disease, but also a physical disease. For many people with depression, a warm hug is better than a thousand words. All languages ​​are useful.Maybe she has more courage, she thought, maybe she can tell more people about her depression.

The first person to inform was the father, and there was only one sentence in the message: I am sick, can you come and see me?

Not long after, her father called, but Zhang Xiaoning didn't know how to speak to him, so she chose to refuse.It took her a lot of effort to send out this news, and she really didn't want to talk with words.Instead, he sent a message to his father, saying, "It's depression."

She didn't know how much her father knew about depression, but wished he knew a little more.It's a pity that the facts are often disappointing. My father's understanding of depression is the same as that of many ordinary people. He felt that he was in a bad mood, so he said a few words of comfort on WeChat, saying that he would have time to come over next week.

"Forget it, it's nothing, you don't need to come here, please." After Zhang Xiaoning sent this message, he didn't care what his father sent.

Zhang Xiaoning felt that she really expected too much, just because Chen Xiangchen gave him a warm expectation, she had to expect some kind of warmth from others, it was so naive.She wanted to slap herself, why at this age, she had to place any hope on her parents who had long been disappointed.

The third time I went to the psychiatric department was a month later. Since the medicine was almost gone, and last time Chen Xiangchen told her to see her in a month, Zhang Xiaoning came on time. In fact, she felt that this month The state is much better than the walking dead look before, although it still feels sad from time to time.

Seeing her change, Chen Xiangchen was also very relieved, "Look, you can laugh now, the first two times, don't joke, you don't even want to roll your eyes." Speaking of this, Zhang Xiaoning chuckled again, Indeed, Chen Xiangchen was a good doctor, at least it made her feel very comfortable.

When he left for the third time, Chen Xiangchen still gave her a hug. From then on, every time he came to see a doctor, Chen Xiangchen would give her a hug as usual.Although I went to see her once a month, this kind of short-term caring relationship always gave Zhang Xiaoning some strength. She occasionally began to rejoice that she knew Chen Xiangchen, otherwise she might be so decadent that she would commit suicide one day.

As the number of visits to the doctor increased, Zhang Xiaoning became more and more open to Chen Xiangchen. Chen Xiangchen later told her that if she was in a bad mood, she could always call him, and she didn't necessarily have to call the clinic.Zhang Xiaoning nodded in agreement, but she never thought of spending the rest of her time looking for him. She was still very restrained and didn't want to trouble anyone, even if that person was a doctor.

I don't know when it started, Chen Xiangchen would even occasionally ask Zhang Xiaoning about his recent situation on WeChat. Every time, Zhang Xiaoning found it very useful to ask Zhang Xiaoning a few words of concern, and would "sell" Chen Xiangchen to colleagues, such as a certain colleague His son was rebellious in adolescence, he had no choice but to talk to Chen Xiangchen.

Seeing Zhang Xiaoning's condition getting better and better, Wen Yayi was also happy for her, so she couldn't help mentioning Chen Xiangchen. Zhang Xiaoning accidentally mentioned that Chen Xiangchen hugged her every time, but Wen Yayi was very sensitive, "Don't he Wouldn't it mean something else?"

"Think too much, he didn't do anything, just let go after hugging, besides, he has a wife, and the children are not young." Zhang Xiaoning insisted that Wen Yayi was oversensitive.

"Since you think it's nothing, then it's nothing. Anyway, you're happy." Wen Yayi understands that what Zhang Xiaoning lacks is nothing more than warmth, but this kind of thing is not something anyone can give, but she Still vaguely worried, whether Zhang Xiaoning would have other feelings for Chen Xiangchen because of this.

Not long after Wen Yayi said this, something happened that cracked Zhang Xiaoning's original solid trust.