lemon early summer

It was another routine follow-up consultation, but before leaving, Chen Xiangchen hugged Zhang Xiaoning for a long time. Zhang Xiaoning was puzzled, but he didn't know how to speak.Time passed by every minute and every second, Zhang Xiaoning knew that he couldn't let him carry on, it was too long.

"That..." Before Zhang Xiaoning could finish speaking, Chen Xiangchen let her go and gave her a harmless smile.

On the way back, Zhang Xiaoning remembered what Wen Yayi said, but felt that she must have thought too much, after all, Chen Xiangchen did not do any other deviant behavior.Although he comforted himself in this way, gradually some details began to come back to his memory. Chen Xiangchen would occasionally hold her hand comfortingly. I don't know if this is considered an abnormal behavior?

It was a mess in my mind. For Zhang Xiaoning who had no love experience, I really didn't know how to distinguish these boundaries. On the one hand, Chen Xiangchen was her doctor and had always taken good care of her. If it wasn't for him, maybe my depression On the other hand, she didn't know whether Chen Xiangchen's hugging or shaking her hand was within the scope of normal doctor-patient contact.

In order to dispel doubts in her heart, Zhang Xiaoning asked related matters in an online psychological counseling group. Most people said that if the doctor did not do other things, just a normal hug, there should be no problem. Some details were deemed inappropriate.

It's like asking back and forth, but doubts still exist.

Zhang Xiaoning was a little upset, but she actually tended to believe Chen Xiangchen in her heart. She thought, they have known each other for a long time, if something else happened, why wait until now?

After taking antidepressants for half a year, Zhang Xiaoning thought that she was almost better, so she asked Chen Xiangchen on WeChat if she could stop taking them, but Chen Xiangchen still suggested that she continue to take them, because she would not consider stopping the medicine until her symptoms stabilized thing.

Looking at the piles of medicine boxes at home, Zhang Xiaoning shook her head. After a while, the boxes would be piled up into mountains.At the beginning, she didn't know why she chose to keep all the medicine boxes. Many times, she wanted to take a picture of these medicine boxes and send them to Gu Xia, but she thought it was too hypocritical, so she gave up.

From the beginning, she didn't intend to let Gu Xia know about depression. Now that she has been treated for so long, Zhang Xiaoning feels that it is even more unnecessary to let Gu Xia know.Recently, she didn't cry all the time, and Zhang Xiaoning also started to resume gatherings with her colleagues. She hoped to gain some warmth from the lively crowd, but found that it had little effect.

One fact she had to admit gradually surfaced, that is, the person who could comfort her the most was actually Chen Xiangchen. It was as if she had seen a searchlight in a dead sea.With this understanding, Zhang Xiaoning began to hesitate whether to go for a follow-up visit, because the trust established between her and Chen Xiangchen had cracked, and she began to hesitate and waver.

Any kind of psychotherapy requires a shallow communication relationship at the beginning of the treatment. Only through shallow communication can a sense of trust and dependence be created, and trust and dependence are the guarantee for in-depth treatment.Undoubtedly, during this period of treatment, Chen Xiangchen built up a good sense of trust for her, which made the subsequent treatment more effective.

In this hesitation and even resistance, Zhang Xiaoning delayed going to the follow-up visit, and Chen Xiangchen asked her on WeChat why she didn't go to the hospital.

"I don't want to come."

"Can you tell me what's wrong? If you want to."

"I... feel dependent on you, and I don't want to be like this."

"Well, you want to be more independent and supportive."

Chen Xiangchen is always like this, every word will not arouse Zhang Xiaoning's disgust, but the more she is like this, the more she feels a sense of crisis, she is afraid that this kind of boundless trust and dependence will bring terrible consequences, although from the bottom of her heart , she actually likes the feeling of being cared and understood.

He is just a doctor, and everything he does is for work reasons... It is this sentence that Zhang Xiaoning keeps thinking about to dispel his wild thoughts.Chen Xiangchen was not surprised that Zhang Xiaoning would have such a reaction. Among the many patients he has treated, it is actually more common to have resistance when the dependence reaches a certain level.

Aside from her professional status, Zhang Xiaoning, who is in her early twenties, is really easy to understand and comfort for Chen Xiangchen. She is simple and cautious, confused and bright, and she can make her laugh with just one word and one movement. With this kind of ability, apart from Chen Xiangchen, it is difficult for anyone else to make Zhang Xiaoning feel this comfortable.

Not long after Zhang Xiaoning decided not to go to the hospital, Chen Xiangchen called her suddenly. Looking at the name displayed on the phone, Zhang Xiaoning was surprised and panicked, because Chen Xiangchen had never called her before, and the occasional communication would be difficult. It's on WeChat.If it is about work, Zhang Xiaoning thinks that after the previous project is over, they should not have any intersection at work.

After a little hesitation, Zhang Xiaoning still picked up the phone. "What's the matter?" For those who don't get in touch often, Zhang Xiaoning usually starts with this sentence, although she knows it will be a bit impolite.

"Can't I call you if it's okay?"

This sentence made Zhang Xiaoning speechless. Indeed, if she said she couldn't because of this, it would be too impersonal and unnecessary. "Forehead……"

"Where are you now?"

"At xx Street, come and return something." Zhang Xiaoning looked at the clothes in her hands, she didn't like the color of the clothes, so she should change them.

"Then when will you finish your work?"

When asked here, Zhang Xiaoning was puzzled again, "What's the matter with you?" This was the second time she asked.

"It's nothing, I just want to ask about your recent situation. I happen to be fine later, so I'll come pick you up."

"Pick me up? Why?" Zhang Xiaoning felt that Chen Xiangchen was outrageously direct, and had nothing to do with the gentle and polite doctor in the past.

"What can you do? Take a walk together, take a walk, and talk about your recent status."

The doubts in Zhang Xiaoning's heart were dispelled, so she nodded and agreed, and made an appointment to meet later.Even though she agreed, Zhang Xiaoning started to feel uneasy after hanging up the phone. She still thought it was strange, although she couldn't tell where it was.

Immediately, he called Wen Yayi and told him about Chen Xiangchen's appointment with her.After listening, Wen Yayi only said: "It's a little strange, but since he has already said it, he just walks around casually, there should be nothing wrong, you just play by ear."

Chen Xiangchen drove to the side of the road, rolled down the window and signaled to Zhang Xiaoning, Zhang Xiaoning got into the co-pilot, and as soon as he got in the car, Chen Xiangchen grabbed her hand, she panicked and looked around in surprise. Chen Xiangchen, I saw that he was driving with one hand intently, nothing unusual could be seen.

"Where are we going?"

"where do you want to go?"

Being asked this question, Zhang Xiaoning's mind was blank. She was only here today to return and change clothes. She hadn't thought about where to go to play. Seeing that she didn't speak, Chen Xiangchen said, "Go to the school where I study?"

It was only then that Zhang Xiaoning remembered that besides being a doctor in the hospital, Chen Xiangchen had to take care of students in the medical school. She had only passed by that school a few times and had never seen what it looked like inside, so she nodded in agreement.On the way, Chen Xiangchen seemed to be acting like a doctor again, routinely asking her questions that he would ask before, and occasionally telling her some interesting things about his classes.

Zhang Xiaoning felt that Chen Xiangchen, who could see through the white coat, was more pleasing to the eye, and he would feel at ease looking at it that way.

"That's the clothes you returned?" Chen Xiangchen didn't forget to glance at Zhang Xiaoning's packed clothes while driving. "There was a problem with the original clothes, so I changed them?"

"No, I just don't like that color very much. I heard from a friend that I got a white one, so I came here to change it."

"You like white?"

"Well, I hate red the most."

Chen Xiangchen nodded with a smile, white, he remembered that every time he saw Zhang Xiaoning, her clothes were almost all white, even if it wasn't white, it was other light colors. "Why do you like white?"

Zhang Xiaoning shook her head, she seemed to like white for a long time, if there was any reason, she couldn't find it herself.

"You suit white."

"You doctors are the most suitable for white."

"I like white, so why didn't you become a doctor?" Chen Xiangchen asked jokingly, knowing that she was a painter and very talented, it might not be appropriate for her to be a doctor.

"The doctor is tired, but why don't you be tired?" Zhang Xiaoning said in a low tone, she felt that people in this world may be burdened in this life, suffering from all kinds of burdens.

It took me some time to drive to the school where Chen Xiangchen taught, and the conversation was so happy that Zhang Xiaoning forgot that Chen Xiangchen held her hand all the way, when the car stopped at a relatively remote path in the school When it was up, she suddenly felt embarrassed and wanted to pull it out.

But Chen Xiangchen held it a little too hard, leaving her nowhere to exert force. Just as she was embarrassed, Chen Xiangchen suddenly looked at her with eyes that she couldn't understand.

"It's not like walking—" Before the words came out, Chen Xiangchen hugged her.

The voice stopped abruptly, what was it all about, Zhang Xiaoning's mind exploded with a bang, at this point, if she still doesn't know Chen Xiangchen's intentions, then she has something wrong with her mind.To be clear is to be clear, but to react is another matter.

I only heard Chen Xiangchen say: "White represents purity."

What the hell is this?Zhang Xiaoning was hugged too tightly and didn't know how to think. She only felt that there were 1 whys in her heart, but she forgot how to speak. She couldn't figure out how things developed like this.

There are not many people in the quiet campus at the moment, and in this relatively remote place, no one will notice the two people hugging each other in the car.

Immoral, shameful, unbelievable... These words were intertwined in Zhang Xiaoning's mind.