difficult love

Xie Mingjiang walked to the door in a daze, only to find that there was no one there as expected. Tan Yixing stood there with his head down, not knowing what he was thinking.

As if the blood all over his body was congealed, Xie Mingjiang was stunned, and cautiously probed: "Why did you come here to find me?"

Tan Yixing raised his eyelids, without exaggeration, his eyes were very mature, Xie Mingjiang couldn't read through a layer of fog, and his face was expressionless: "Just now Zhou Zhuo's boyfriend asked me to tell you not to indulge in compromise In the self-movement, let you do it yourself."

"..." Xie Mingjiang looked at him, not daring to vent his anger. He had just realized that he was actually so afraid of Tan Yixing knowing, afraid that Tan Yixing would look down on him.

"What does he mean? My Chinese is not good, so I didn't understand." Tan Yixing also looked at Xie Mingjiang.

Cheerful music reverberated at the scene, and the atmosphere was warm and lively, but this corner was not included. The outside wind blew away the soft veils on both sides and let it in. Xie Mingjiang was silent, walked up to Tan Yixing, raised his hand to straighten his tie, and carefully He smoothed the collar, as if there was cream on the corner of the collar, and pressed it repeatedly with his fingers: "How much do you hear?"

Tan Yixing looked down at his hands, a complex expression flashed across his face, and said softly: "All."

"..." Xie Mingjiang paused with his hands, and his heart gradually sank.

"I came here to see if you were there, and found that you were talking to him." Tan Yixing said with a serious expression, "You said you loved him, but you took it for sale, I'm sorry for him—"

Xie Mingjiang's face was hot, Tan Yixing's statement made him feel ashamed: "Enough."

Tan Yixing shut his mouth as expected, and looked at Xie Mingjiang in confusion: "Did I hear wrong, Xie Mingjiang, don't let me misunderstand you."

Xie Mingjiang said dryly, "No."

"At that time, I really loved him very much. He didn't love me. I snatched him." The words of self-analysis were like a whip, and they were whipped on Xie Mingjiang, frowning. He didn't dare to stop, for fear of stopping , I can never finish these few sentences, "I liked him very much the first time I saw him. I thought he was no different from those bar companions, and he sold himself, so even if he didn't agree, I forced him to sleep. Do you understand now?"

"..."

Xie Mingjiang said bitterly: "But that has passed, and now I...love you very much."

Tan Yixing opened his mouth halfway, as if he had been slapped. Xie Mingjiang read the shock and confusion from his undisguised expression, and he didn't respond to his confession. That's right, he was no longer the perfect one in his heart The flawless Xie Mingjiang naturally wouldn't react any more.

With a cruel heart, he withdrew his hand from Tan Yixing's collar.

The temperature disappeared, as if it had never been touched, Xie Mingjiang clenched his fists, trying to keep something, but there was nothing.

Xu Yaojia asked his classmates to continue his yacht party. Tan Yixing was his best friend. When he found him from the crowd, he seemed to be about to leave. go home."

"Nonsense, who gave you alcohol?" He pulled Tan Yixing aside, "Didn't Xie Mingjiang not let you drink?"

Tan Yixing forced a smile: "I secretly drank a little champagne, maybe I'm allergic."

Xu Yaojia knew that allergies are serious: "Then you go home, hey, you said why you can't even drink a little wine. Call me tomorrow."

Tan Yixing nodded, rolled up his clothes on his wrists, bid farewell to Xu Yaojia, and walked out of the hotel first.

Xie Mingjiang followed closely behind, and opened the car door from a distance: "Go to the car, it's too cold outside."

Tan Yixing stretched out his coat, put it on, looked away from Xie Mingjiang, and finally opened the car door and sat in it.

Xie Mingjiang breathed a sigh of relief, closed the car door, turned on the heater in the car, started the car, and maintained a delicate silence.

The car drove through the bustling lights, and the lights and shadows alternately appeared on Xie Mingjiang's face.

This aptly expressed Xie Mingjiang's mood. He was frankly relieved, but at the same time he also felt dull heartache.As for Tan Yixing, he shrank in the darkness, and Xie Mingjiang couldn't see his expression when he turned his head.

His heart was complicated, Xie Mingjiang didn't dare to say anything rashly, and he was also afraid of what Tan Yixing would say, even if it was only for a moment, he still didn't want Tan Yixing to continue the topic just now, otherwise he would have nowhere to go in such a small space, so he had to be a little bit Something fills this empty yet oppressive embarrassment.

He pretended to be safe and raised his hand, intending to play a song, but almost at the same time Tan Yixing said: "I want to get out of the car."

Xie Mingjiang was taken aback for a moment, then stopped moving hesitantly: "...what?"

"I'm going to get out of the car now." Tan Yixing turned his face away.

Xie Mingjiang frowned slightly: "What are you doing when you get out of the car? You'll be home soon."

Tan Yixing said sadly and painfully: "I am motion sick, I feel uncomfortable."

"..." Xie Mingjiang had to stop the car, Tan Yixing jumped down, squatted on the curb, hugging his head, Xie Mingjiang also squatted down, and followed his back, "What did you eat?"

Tan Yixing remained silent.

Xie Mingjiang was persuasive: "Why is it uncomfortable?"

Tan Yixing remained silent.

Xie Mingjiang's hand was slow, he could tell that Tan Yixing was not motion sickness, but felt uncomfortable. Tan Yixing held his head in silence for a long time, and Xie Mingjiang also cooperated tacitly. There is a huge gap, if Tan Yixing can't figure it out and can't jump over, he can only accept his lonely life, there is no way, who said that he dug this gap by himself?

Tan Yixing repeatedly chewed on everything he said and heard just now, feeling empty in his heart. He was not pretending to be uncomfortable, but really uncomfortable. Although Xie Mingjiang sometimes had a bad temper, he never questioned his character. After several slaps, his head was stunned, his thinking was completely confused, and he couldn't function normally.

Xie Mingjiang brought him here from Japan thousands of miles away regardless of pay, to raise him, take care of him, and educate him. He thought that such a thing could not be done by ordinary people, but Xie Mingjiang could. Now it seems that he does not treat Xie Mingjiang at all. I understand that Xie Mingjiang can do things that ordinary people can't do.

Tan Yixing said sullenly: "I want to go home by myself, you go first."

Xie Mingjiang really wanted to touch his back again, so he withdrew his hand and put it on his lap. In fact, he really wanted to say that I know I made a big mistake, but I like you very much, can you accept it with all your heart? I am like this, but he can't say it, he has no face to say it.

Xie Mingjiang frowned, pondered, and said slowly: "I'll wait for you, it's too cold, it's not safe for you to be alone on the road."

Tan Yixing squatted for a while, but he couldn't hold back Xie Mingjiang. He couldn't figure it out even if he spent a while here. If he couldn't figure it out, he had to go back to Xie Mingjiang's house.

The two finally returned home just after ten o'clock. The living room was completely dark. Baihui had already arrived in her room, but she came out in surprise, "Why did you come back so early?"

Tan Yixing was changing shoes at the door without saying a word, Xie Mingjiang heard that he had not answered, and did not want to deceive Baihui, so he explained: "Because today I—"

Tan Yixing seemed to wake up suddenly, stepped on his slippers and walked in front of him, and said: "Oh, I'm not feeling well."

Baihui took his hand, immediately frowned, and said with concern: "What's going on, what's wrong?"

"Stomach. I ate too much, hehe."

"Nonsense! You must have caught a cold." Baihui tossed his hands over and over in his palms, and said distressedly, "Go and lie down first, I'll get you medicine."

Xie Mingjiang was behind them, as if blending into the dark background, silent.

Only then did Baihui turn around and take away the bag in his hand: "Sir, stay with Ah Xing, I'll be there soon."

Before Xie Mingjiang could speak, Tan Yixing said, "I don't need him to accompany me."

Xie Mingjiang was startled.

Baihui was confused, and turned to look at Tan Yixing: "What's going on?"

Tan Yixing smiled at her: "He's going to work and socializing again today, and he's also very tired. I'll go to the room and wait for your medicine now. Hurry up."

Baihui looked at Xie Mingjiang inquisitively, and Xie Mingjiang nodded wearily: "Call me if you have any questions, I still have a document to read, so I'll go to the study first."

Baihui was relieved, and went to the chest of drawers in the living room to look through the medicine box. Tan Yixing and him were left, and they looked at each other for two seconds. Tan Yixing said, "Then I'll go in first."

"Ah."

Xie Mingjiang answered weakly, Tan Yixing had never talked to him like this before, Xie Mingjiang watched him close the door, and thought while going up the stairs, he was stunned just now, what kind of confidence made him feel that he could maintain himself in Tan Yixing's heart After staying with Tan Yixing for a long time, I became naive, so naive that it was almost ridiculous.

Not long ago, he was willing to explain this state as being young, and even enjoying the feeling of impulsiveness, but now it seems that Tan Yixing is a flashback of his emotional life, not that he has been redeemed, but that he wants to be here Completely dead after a love affair.

Baihui didn't smell anything unusual, especially when he went to Tan Yixing's room with warm water and oral liquid, watched him play games with his mobile phone, sighed, and said angrily: "You still play, you still play, let you lie down .”

Finished the straw and handed it to Tan Yixing's mouth. Tan Yixing was so absorbed that he didn't even look at it, so he drank a couple of sips: "Damn, this is too bitter, and it smells like mush."

"Good medicine tastes bitter, drink it and you will be fine."

Tan Yixing frowned and managed to drink the last sip, Baihui handed him warm water, he took a sip, and said coquettishly, "Is there any ice cream, I want something sweet."

Baihui raised her eyebrows upside down: "Why are you so indifferent, your stomach feels uncomfortable now, what ice cream do you want?"

"What about candy? Candy is fine too." Tan Yixing hugged his chest after finishing the round of the game, "It's uncomfortable, I just felt uncomfortable in my stomach, but now I feel uncomfortable all over."

Baihui convinced him, so she had to bring a piece of toffee. Tan Yixing ate it, lay on the bed, and sighed heavily.

Baihui smiled: "Why are you sighing?"

"Tired." Tan Yixing pointed to his heart, "Tired."

Baihui was used to his jokes, so she didn't take it seriously: "What are you worrying about, I think you are doing well."

Tan Yixing murmured expressionlessly: "I thought so too."

Baihui is very good at divergent thinking: "How many people on TV can't eat, take a bath, or go to school..."

Tan Yixing stared at the ceiling: "I can't afford to go to school too."

"..." Baihui was stunned, and pushed his shoulder, "What time is it, do you still have the mood to joke?"

Tan Yixing curled the corner of his mouth and said nothing, he knew that such a patterned smile must be ugly.

Yes, what time is it, he still has the mind to joke, even though Tan Yixing's habit is to take it lightly, but he doesn't know what role he is playing, can he stand on the moral high ground and criticize Xie Mingjiang?It was because Xie Mingjiang was so kind to him, and he had to discuss the matter with Xie Mingjiang.He found that he couldn't blame someone for someone else, nor could he understand someone for someone else. He wanted to hold it but couldn't pick it up, wanted to put it down but couldn't really let go.