For the rest of his life

Like every reunion after a long absence, when Song Xinshan fetched hot water, he saw Xu Chenmu from a distance.She seemed to be alone, wearing a wine-red sweater, she had lost a lot of weight, and the clothes looked big and empty, she didn't look this way or that way, just stood quietly.

A few monotonous syllables burst out of his throat, but he still couldn't put together a complete sentence. He opened his mouth and didn't say hello to Xu Chenmu. He saw Lu Qiong dragging her to another corridor, and was startled. Only then did he feel the cell phone in his trouser pocket vibrating. When he took it out, he couldn't help but frowned. He put the hot water bottle aside, went into the toilet again, and answered the phone.

"Aren't you coming to accompany me today?" The woman's voice was always sweet and greasy, as thick and greasy as her figure, and there were circles around her waist that seemed to be wounded by pythons, but she still I feel that I am as beautiful as a fairy.

"Hey, I'm going to see my mother today."

Laughing, my whole body was covered in cold sweat, the sweat from my underarms almost soaked my shirt, and my back was soaked, no matter how many times I talked to her, I felt like I had been a grandson a few times. He stood at the door, He happened to catch a glimpse of himself in the mirror at the door, hunched over like a prawn, in a somewhat shameful gesture.

"What's so interesting about your mother being like that? Say, did you go to see that little reporter again?"

He didn't need to think about it, he knew that the woman who spent a lot of money over there must be pursing her lips, holding a mobile phone in one hand, and pinching nail polish in the other hand to change the color of her toenails. She traded her youth for the wealth of a wealthy family, and now it's on young men seek love.

He was that young man who felt like he was with a sow every moment.

It wasn't discrimination and prejudice against appearance, but when he thought of this woman's argument, he felt that her brain was empty. Apart from eating, sleeping and luxuries, she didn't understand anything and was not willing to understand, and she had to talk nonsense.

How good is he? He is a boar, the kind that breeds sows.

I remembered that I secretly went to see Xu Chenmu, but Lu Qiong was so strict that I couldn't see him. Lu Qiong would always meet him, and when he saw him, he would smile artistically: "You are here again."

"I want to see her—"

"You were asked to come last time, but you refused to come. There is no chance this time." Lu Qiong spoke very bluntly, but also had a way of being sarcastic. She protected Xu Chenmu like a cub, for fear that she would get caught It doesn't matter if he left, but Lu Qiong himself and Xu Chenmu are both in crisis - but Lu Qiong is still better than himself.

Looking at myself, it was as if a mirror was placed on the soles of the feet, the top of the head, the back and the front of the chest, so as to see myself clearly, and I was also relegated to the dung, worthless.

"I didn't, so I'll come over and show her. I'm afraid the nurse will bully my mother."

"Your mother didn't know that she threw her downstairs like that," an extremely cheerful laughter came from the other side, "We're going to watch Johnny's magic trick tonight, I happen to have a ticket, remember to pick me up!"

"Okay." He almost gritted his teeth and said this word. This woman is always very rude to his mother, but his mother can't get up. The woman is right, her mother is crippled, she is on the bed Lying down like a dead tree loses its vitality, and it will die immediately without a ventilator. Such a person is no different from death, but he can't accept this fact. He stubbornly smiles obsequiously in front of women to make money and support his mother here Live and die.

"Kiss you! Mua!"

"Kiss you." He remembered the moment when the woman's thickly coated lips with extremely gaudy lipstick were pursed, and his stomach couldn't stop churning, as if for comfort, he thought of Xu Chenmu, Xu Chenmu's Lips, he remembered that it was a long time ago that he could see her lips at close range. She stood in front of him without makeup, but her lips were still as red and delicate as rose petals. He thought that he might have beautified them a little. The bad habit of the mouth must not be so good-looking, but this mouth can spit out sharp arguments, spit out countless witty words, and can act like a baby, although it is not to yourself——

That was the first time he felt that he had always been just a clown. Xu Chenmu had no feelings for him, but it wasn't considered a joke. He thought, Xu Chenmu respected everyone, and he was laughed at by everyone and looked down on him. Only Xu Chenmu looked into his eyes seriously and listened to his point of view, although he didn't know that Xu Chenmu had laughed at his poems——

When he saw Xu Chenmu acting like a baby, it was to Lu Qiong. He was sitting on a bench by the path reading a book, five trees away from him. It seemed that Xu Chenmu bought a lipstick that day and gave it to Lu Qiong. Joan looked - Lu Qiong didn't look at her, so she leaned over and showed her her lips, but Lu Qiong turned her head away again.

Xu Chenmu kissed carelessly, and it was printed on Lu Qiong's pale lips, adding a few touches of red, and his complexion improved a lot. Lu Qiong got angry, and turned his head to ignore Xu Chenmu, and Xu Chenmu chased after him : "Lu Qiong, I was wrong, please forgive me... I have no other meaning, look at how good-looking you are, don't you... Make sense, I was wrong, I'm the next seat... Ah, do you want to kiss me back again? I didn't want to take advantage of you, you misunderstood me..."

The voice was so sweet that it was not a serious apology.

He couldn't help but think of the goddess Xu Chenmu who was enshrined by him, and he felt more and more what kind of day he was being kept in custody now - but there was no way, he just wanted to let his mother stay in the hospital longer. The duty of a filial son...he doesn't have the ability to earn so much money all at once, so he has no choice but to resort to such despicable and dirty methods. The world is full of people who laugh at the poor but not at the prostitutes, so he can't help it.

"Remember that you are not allowed to visit that little reporter of yours. Women just want to marry the right man. Work is a burden or something. Why do you like that kind of disobedient woman? Let's see if she has been punished?"

……

"Do you think so?" the woman asked, as if if he didn't point to Xu Chenmu's nose and scold him severely, he would definitely rekindle his old love for Xu Chenmu, so he said again with difficulty After hearing Xu Chenmu's bad words, it was like Xu Chenmu making fun of his poems: "That's right, she looks wild all over the world like that, no man will want her."

"Well, good." The woman finally hung up the phone contentedly.

The short busy tone after hanging up made him feel extremely painful.

What about his poetry and love?He couldn't reconcile with this world anymore, he couldn't reconcile with himself, he sighed and stuffed his phone into his trousers pocket, turned out of the men's room to pick up the water bottle, he suddenly froze, he saw Xu Chenmu's face in the mirror.

She lowered her head but it was really her, rolled up her cuffs, washed her hands, turned off the water, raised her eyes, and saw him, frowning for a while, she was a little confused, she didn't know why this man looked at him with such sad eyes Looking at himself, he suddenly thought that this was a pervert——

It's wrong to label people based on appearance and first impressions.She murmured a few words in her heart, treated people equally, treated things objectively, repeated the proverbs several times, turned her face and asked kindly: "Are you okay?"

Song Xinshan was stunned for a while and couldn't speak. It was like every reunion after a long absence. Tears poured down into a river, but no one showed mercy. He could only suppress all the emotional fluctuations and grievances. Xu Chenmu put down his cuffs, his eyes full of doubts.

"You still don't remember...Did Lu Qiong bring you here? Why did you come to the hospital? Is she sick?"

After hesitating for a while, he greeted Xu Chenmu cordially in the toilet, and suddenly felt a little weird, but at this moment, the poetic spirit suddenly surged, he wanted to figure out the goddess' heart in this dim light, and he wanted to be in this chaotic world. , to find her past, she is the lily of the sun——

"I seem to know you, but I don't remember, who are you?" Xu Chenmu smiled, interrupting his comprehension of poetry, straightened the hem of his clothes, and glanced up at this man, with a straight suit and hairstyle She tidied up very vigorously, elegant and handsome, with the demeanor of an old literati, but her eyes were very tired, and her beard was not shaved. This face seemed to have appeared before, but she didn't know why a lily flower popped out of her head. There is also the glowing red sun, this association is quite weird, so she sighed softly in her heart and rejected all her thoughts about trying to judge something.

"My name is Song Xinshan, and I'm your——friend. Ordinary friend." Song Xinshan walked over to wash his hands. He didn't go to the toilet, but he still washed up as a courtesy. Looking at her, "Is Lu Qiong all right?"

"She's fine, I bumped her head and came here." Xu Chenmu was still full of resentment towards Lu Qiong, and his tone was a bit sour when he mentioned it, but Song Xinshan didn't hear it, and smiled: "Then are you okay? "

"Of course not—speaking of which you came here..."

"My mother—" Song Xinshan choked for a few seconds, collected his thoughts, and picked up the hot water bottle, "If it's convenient for you, let's go out and talk, isn't it suitable here? You don't like this place either!"

"I used to hear people losing their temper, crying, smoking desperately, or staying in the toilet for a long time in the toilet of the hospital. Many toilets in this world are actually very interesting. Is there a variety of life, but I should be fine. Something—" Xu Chenmu thought of Lu Qiong saying that she had gone to buy food and asked him to wait when she came back. There was a little willfulness in his heart, so he refused to obey Lu Qiong, "Let's go."

Why was she angry with Lu Qiong herself? She summed it up as vague memories. She vomited out what she wanted to express the most. A shadow, the shadow is in the shape of a monster, always dormant behind Lu Qiong waiting for an opportunity to move, and this shadow is also shrouded behind herself and Lu Qiong. As she said, she always trusted Tang Yi more than herself——

Count it as jealous.But it's a little more serious than jealousy.

Listening to Song Xinshan's narration silently all the way, he poured himself a glass of water. They stopped in a ward. There was only an old man lying there with a peaceful expression. The tube of the ventilator was connected to maintain breathing. Inanimate signs.This is Song Xinshan's mother, who was seriously ill. In the end, she could only use this machine to maintain a "alive" state. She couldn't speak, eat, or open her eyes, and she didn't feel anything. It was no different from death.

"I came to see her. It's my duty anyway. After suffering from this disease for so many years, I should have been sad. I'm quite rebellious. Seeing her suffering like this now, who dares to pull out the tube? I'd be murdering my mother—”