almost lonely

Come, tick-tock to the floor.

Xu Ye was dizzy and confused, and his tonsils were swollen so that it was difficult to breathe. He swallowed quickly, but opened his mouth but couldn't make a sound as if he was dumb.

It must be because I missed Chenchen too much, and I misread it for a moment just now... But that look is so similar and familiar.Ning Juechen always looked at him with that look, Xu Ye didn't realize until recently that it was sadness.He can now see in the mirror, in his own eyes, every day.

Ning Juechen also felt that Xu Ye's eyes were very familiar, it was the eyes he had been used to looking at another person through him for a long time.

How interesting, Xu Ye seems to really like him.

But it was too late.

Love me when I don't believe you love me, love me when I'm not me anymore.

too late.

19 I wait for him to forgive me

Ning Juechen wasted at home, and there was no reason not to go to work in the company after a month.In the morning, he grabbed his tie and stood in front of the full-length mirror in a daze. He used to tie it for Xu Ye, but he never tied it for himself, and he couldn't figure it out after playing with it for a long time.

Xu Tingya came over and took away the tie in his hand, raised her hand around his neck, pulled her hand hard, and Ning Juechen was forced to lower her head and move closer.The foreheads of the two were almost touching each other, their breaths were lightly blowing on each other's faces, and the sweet smell of perfume on Xu Tingya's body penetrated straight into their noses.

Ning Juechen lowered his eyes in a panic, feeling that his eyelashes had touched the other's eyelashes, he pushed back in embarrassment and straightened up, his face flushed instantly: "You...don't make trouble." Xu Tingya skillfully told him After putting on his tie, he smiled unnaturally: "Didn't you like it very much before?"

The phone on the table vibrated suddenly, and Ning Juechen jumped over to answer the phone as if he had been rescued. It was Chen Yuhong calling, her voice sounded anxious and exhausted: "Juelan, are you coming to the hospital? Your brother... "

Ning Juechen shuddered all over, his mind exploded, he seemed to be exhausted, and he could hardly hold the phone.The weight was all on the hand that was supporting the table, and the whole person couldn't stop shaking violently, causing the whole table to rattle.

Xu Tingya was obviously frightened by him, she leaned over and took his hand: "What's the matter?" Ning Juechen didn't seem to hear her, and stood upright by touching the wall, stumbling towards the door with absent-minded eyes.

Ning Juechen's mind kept echoing what Chen Yuhong said on the phone, his feet were limp, and his eyes turned black. ——Chen Yuhong said that "Ning Juechen" has become a vegetable.

When they arrived at the hospital, both Chen Yuhong and Lu Chengxiong were there, and both of them had solemn expressions.Ning Juechen twisted his fingers and asked in a hoarse voice: "Where is the person?" Chen Yuhong raised her hand and pointed to the inside of the ward. To fall to pieces and never get up again.He walked over and pushed gently with trembling hands, and the door creaked open.But he seemed to be nailed to the spot, and he didn't have the courage to go in at all.

The ward was blindingly white, and Ning Juechen saw "myself" lying on his back on the hospital bed, pale and weak like a pale shadow, as silent as if he was asleep.There are several tubes attached to my body, but the equipment around me is much less than last time, and the ventilator has also been withdrawn.Ning Juechen still remembers feeling that this body was like a dying plant when he was in the ICU, he really didn't expect it to be like this...

Before he lost his composure, he hurriedly backed away, turned around and staggered away, as if he didn't hear Chen Yuhong calling him Jue Lan Jue Lan worriedly behind him, asking him what's wrong.

Ning Juechen's mind was in chaos, he couldn't think at all, he walked blankly by instinct like a walking dead, and bumped into several people along the way.Finally, he finally stopped at the back door, and saw Xu Ye's thin back through the glass door.

Ning Juechen burst into tears the moment he saw him, and he couldn't tell what it was.It's just that I have been too afraid and wronged by myself for so long, and suddenly I couldn't control it when I saw Xu Ye.

Hearing the sound of footsteps, Xu Ye slowly turned around, his eyes were in a trance for a few seconds, but he soon regained consciousness.He didn't speak, and silently lowered his head and flicked half of the cigarette in his hand, and the fine ash fluttered down to his feet.

The two burst into tears through a glass door.

After a while Xu Ye put out the cigarette butt in the cigarette counter above the trash can, as if finally unable to hold on, he exhausted his strength and slumped down on the steps.Ning Juechen walked over step by step, and saw that Xu Ye's face was in a mess with wet tears, and his eyes were covered with scarlet bloodshot eyes, and no new tears flowed out.

Ning Juechen couldn't bear Xu Ye to be like this, seeing Xu Ye crying felt like being stabbed in his heart.When Xu Ye is happy, he is happy, and when Xu Ye is sad, he is also sad. After so many years, he has not improved at all.

The liking for Xu Ye is like water in a sponge, every time he thinks that this time it will be exhausted and he will not give up, but there will always be a next time, there will always be a next time.

Ning Juechen thought he should comfort Xu Ye now, but he didn't know what to say, he couldn't even comfort himself.When Xu Ye blinked, his eyelashes were like fluttering butterflies: "Actually, the doctor told me during the first rescue that the best result is a vegetable." "You..." Ning Juechen couldn't hold back for a long time. In a word.

"It's already the best, the best." Xu Ye spoke softly, "You know, he has been following me, chasing me, but I'm too bad, never stop or look back, I know He will always follow. This time he won't, he really...doesn't want me anymore." Ning Juechen's fingers became tighter and tighter, and his nails dug into the palm of his hand.

After a while, Xu Ye raised his hand and wiped his face, and comforted himself in a low voice with a confused expression: "It's okay, I'll get him back, I'll go find him." Ning Juechen was stunned, at a loss in his heart Ask yourself: get it back?Can you really come back?

Xu Ye propped his hands on the cold floor tiles, until his knuckles turned white, he finally stood up staggeringly, but his tone was surprisingly calm: "Juelan, help me accompany him for a while, I'll come back as soon as I get something. "

The early winter sun was shining warmly, and Xu Ye's back was reflected in a light golden color, and the edges of the outline gradually became blurred, as if it was about to melt into the light.Ning Juechen watched him go away with a frown, Xu Ye now... It's like the kind of apple that looks good on the surface, but in fact the inside has been completely rotten from the core.

After all, Xu Ye has always been a young master. He used to be better when he was with his grandma. In his third year of high school, he came here alone. Later, when he was with Ning Juechen, he never even folded a quilt or peeled an apple. .But now he stays in the ward all day long, and earnestly learns how to take care of patients from Aunt Xu, the nurse: turn over, pat the back, suck phlegm, disinfect, feed the nose, wipe the body, excrete...

Because vegetative people can’t move by themselves, the pressured tissues will develop bedsores due to lack of blood and oxygen, which can easily fester and infect and cause other diseases, so they need to be helped to turn them back and forth every two hours.When Xu Ye saw Aunt Xu turn Ning Juechen over for the first time, his eyes burned with anxiety: "Can you be gentle! Don't hurt him!"

Aunt Xu was not angry, and smiled: "Everyone in your family loves to worry about it. It would be a good thing for him to know the pain! You are unconscious and heavy, and you can't lift it without using your strength. Try it yourself next time." Just know!"

Later, when Xu Ye came by himself, he felt that Aunt Xu was still wrong. Chenchen was so light and thin, and he couldn't be more careful every time he moved, for fear that a little force would break him.

A week later, Xu Ye took fluids for the first time by himself. He was so nervous that his hands were shaking all the time, and he dared not push the syringe. Later, Aunt Xu finished it with her hands.He felt very uncomfortable, feeling that he was very useless, grabbed Ning Juechen's hand and buried his head deeply, his eyes suddenly turned red.

Aunt Xu comforted him, saying that he had done a good job, and added another sentence at the end: "I have never asked who you are from him? I heard that there is a twin brother. I don't think you look alike at all." It was only then that Xu Ye realized that he had just lost his composure, and he gently stroked Ning Juechen's palm: "I am his...friend." Aunt Xu seemed surprised, and praised that it is not easy for a friend to do this, You are so loyal, Xiao Xu, you are so kind to your friends.Xu Ye just felt ashamed and ashamed.

The youngest son of Aunt Xu's family is in his third year of high school, and he wants to eat fruit for supper when he comes back from self-study in the evening, which is when the parents are busy.At the end of the year, the weather was getting colder and colder. After Xu Ye was sure that he could handle it alone, he asked Aunt Xu to go home early every night at eight or nine.

He skillfully used the pillow to help Ning Juechen turn over. His hands were a little cold to touch, and he turned up the temperature of the air conditioner, and then took the last fluid of the day.Seeing that Ning Juechen's lips were a little dry, Xu Ye took a little more water, half an hour later he shook the bed flat, and used a cotton swab dipped in mouthwash to clean Ning Juechen's mouth.

During this time, he and Aunt Xu were taking care of her wholeheartedly. Ning Juechen looked much better than before, with a little powder on his face, not that sickly pale.After Xu Ye wiped his face with a wet towel, his hands paused, his heart beat faster and faster, as if he was holding a rabbit.He bent down and touched the scar on Ning Juechen's forehead with trembling lips.

Xu Ye would never know that someone secretly kissed him in such a nervous way in his sophomore year.

After finishing all this work, he sat down by the bed, opened the magazine he brought with one hand, clasped the other hand on Ning Juechen's wrist, and unconsciously rubbed the edge of the butterfly scar with his fingertips.

He is looking at Ning Juechen