almost lonely

, he lay on the bed and pretended to be asleep, trying to minimize the chances of the two people communicating head-on.The more he said now, the more mistakes he made, and silence was the best way to disguise himself.At night Xu Tingya would come over and squeeze into his arms, calling him softly: "Juelan."

Usually at this time Ning Juechen's whole body started to become stiff, he didn't dare to move at all, he let Xu Tingya raise his head to kiss him, sometimes Xu Tingya would secretly cry, and tears got into the collar of Ning Juechen's pajamas.

What's wrong with Xu Tingya?Why should she be wronged like this?Ning Juechen couldn't bear being cried by her, and felt extremely guilty, but he couldn't do anything about it.

On the weekend, Chen Yuhong asked them to have dinner together, and prepared a table of dishes, all of which Lu Juelan liked. The chicken soup was warming in the casserole, and it was steaming white.Lu Chengxiong served Ning Juechen a big bowl, and asked him to make up for it.

The four of them sat around eating together. Ning Juechen hadn't been back to this strange home for several years. He felt like sitting on pins and needles, didn't know what to eat, and was as cautious as a first-time visitor.Later the topic turned to marriage, and the engagement was shelved due to a car accident. Lu Chengxiong euphemistically mentioned that the current cost of the ICU is about 1 yuan a day, which means that there is no way to hold the wedding for the time being.

Xu Tingya didn't care. On the one hand, she said that there is no need to worry about the money for the wedding. On the other hand, she said that the wedding is not in a hurry, and that He Juelan can get the certificate first.Ning Juechen was stunned for a moment, but didn't answer.

When Xu Tingya was driving back, Ning Juechen sat in the passenger seat silently.In fact, he still has the psychological shadow left by the car accident. He feels panicked and out of breath when the speed of the car is fast, but he doesn't want to show it in front of outsiders, so he can only hold on to the seat belt on his chest silently to adjust his breathing, and his palms are covered with sweat .

The atmosphere in the car was a bit awkward, Xu Tingya tentatively asked, "Are you angry?" Ning Juechen shook his head, avoiding her gaze. "Juelan, I'm just scared." Xu Tingya's voice fluttered, "You've changed a lot since you woke up, you're not like you anymore!" Ning Juechen's nerves tensed up instantly: "Xiaoya..."

Xu Tingya bit her lips, and it took a while before she said with difficulty: "You... don't you want to marry me?" Ning Juechen's temples twitched suddenly, his throat seemed to be stuffed with a big ball of cotton, and he couldn't say anything at all. Come on.He got off at the intersection under the elevated road. Xu Tingya grabbed the steering wheel and turned her head just like that, staring at him stubbornly with red eyes.

Ning Juechen closed the car door, lowered his head and dared not face her: "I'm sorry."

He is always saying sorry, even if he changes his body.

Ning Juechen walked aimlessly along the unfamiliar streets for a long time, feeling like a wandering soul blown by the cold wind, his face was completely numb from the cold.By the time he reacted, his footsteps had already stopped at the door of the hospital.

With such a big Jingcheng, the only place he can go is the hospital, and the only person he can find is Xu Ye.

Maybe it is a pet's instinct to find an owner.It was the visiting time of the ward, and the corridor was crowded with family members of the patients just like that day. Ning Juechen stood beside him for a long time, but did not see Xu Ye.

So it's not here anymore...

"Hello? I haven't seen you for a long time. Are you here to see my brother?" Although Ning Juechen came here only once, the nurse was obviously very impressed with the twins.Ning Juechen was a little embarrassed: "Well, I'm looking for someone." The little girl showed a clear expression: "Is that little brother who comes every day?"

Ning Juechen was stunned, noncommittal.The little nurse pointed to the building in front: "He just went to the outpatient clinic, and he had a bad cold. Seeing that everyone else was fainted from fever, I persuaded him for a long time and refused to leave. Later, I told him that he was not allowed to go in to see a doctor in such a situation, and he was obedient immediately. Go hang the water."

Ning Juechen's expression became extremely complicated in an instant. The nurse asked him if he could go in, and Ning Juechen shook his head awkwardly while withdrawing from the crowd.He thought the nurse must think that his brother was heartless and ungrateful.

When Ning Juechen went to the infusion room, Xu Ye was anxiously looking up at the infusion tube while turning the regulator. The speed of the liquid medicine in the dropper was almost uninterrupted.

Ning Juechen almost didn't recognize him at first glance: Xu Ye was so thin that only a thin skeleton remained, the shoulders on both sides were exaggerated, and the clothes that used to fit were now wide and drooping down.

Ning Juechen wanted to describe Xu Ye with a sickly face, only to see that his face was abnormally red, and his black eye sockets were deeply sunken, so the browbones and cheekbones stood up even more jaggedly, and his eyes Like a beautiful pearl dimmed by dust.

Xu Ye rarely catches a cold, at most once a year, but when he catches a cold, the symptoms are severe and the cycle is very long.Xu Ye once swallowed the fever-reducing effervescent tablets as pills with water. He really didn't know how to take care of himself, and he knew it himself, so he ran to Ning Juechen's place to stay for several weeks when he caught a cold.To be honest, Ning Juechen even expected Xu Ye to catch a cold.

When Xu Ye looked up and saw him, his expression changed: "Why are you here?" Ning Juechen is familiar with this attitude, but now he has become Lu Juelan, what is this?

Probably because the inexplicable words last time really made Xu Ye angry. Xu Ye kept a cold face and ignored him all the time. Ning Juechen got a little angry later: "I'm better than you, right? It’s a relative! Don’t force me to go to the nurse and tell you not to visit me.”

Xu Ye glanced at him, and cursed: "Boring." Ning Juechen also felt that what he said was very naive, which was quite embarrassing.He pursed his lips and didn't answer, but after a few seconds his hand was gently grabbed by Xu Ye, who looked up at him and begged in a low voice: "Don't."

——I really believe it, it seems that the nurse is right, this is really stupid.Xu Ye's hand was as cold as ice cubes because of the infusion, Ning Juechen sat down with a slight sigh, stretched out his hand to slow down the infusion speed.

After hanging the water, the two had dinner at the entrance of the hospital. The restaurant where they ate wontons together in the early years is long gone. The store has changed several times, and now it is a noodle restaurant.Ning Juechen was a little uncomfortable being stared at by Xu Ye. He frowned and asked him what he was doing. Xu Ye's eyes flickered: "Don't you not eat coriander?" "Changed it, eat it now." Xu Ye grumbled and didn't say anything more.Ning Juechen broke into a cold sweat from fright, and lost his appetite after eating a little.

Ning Juechen did not expect that Xu Ye rented a house next to the hospital. Xu Yi said that there is a small family lounge next to the ICU. The beds are not rented out, and everyone uses them in turn.A few new patients came in recently, and the lounge was overcrowded. As a big man, he was embarrassed to compete for a seat with his mother, grandma, and grandma. It happened that the monthly subscription room in the hotel was about to expire, so he wanted to rent a room close to the hospital. Small suite.

When Xu Ye said this, he sniffed heavily, and he could hear that he was trying to stay calm. They all knew what it meant to make such a long-term plan.Ning Juechen felt a tightness in his chest, as if something was twisting.

This apartment is very small, only half of the one they have in Lian City, so you can see the whole thing at a glance.Ning Juechen looked in, feeling a strange feeling in his heart. When he calmed down and took a closer look, he found that many things in this room were brought from the house in Lianshi. He didn't know that Xu Ye had gone back.

On the simple hanger next to the bed are the new shirts I bought before, two of the same style are leaning together, I thought it was quite thick when I bought it before, and the current temperature should have passed the season for wearing; on the table are his shirts His notebook is open but not turned on. I don’t know if Xu Ye guessed the password; there is a thick stack of books next to it, the top one is "Snow Country" that Xu Yigao gave him; at the end of the bed is his The storage box, it looks so full and heavy, it contains his ten years.

Three photos were scattered on the bed, and Ning Juechen knew that he had put them in his notebook without even looking at them. All the photos they took together: the first one was a high school graduation photo, and he cheekily squeezed next to Xu Ye, not reaching the last height According to the standard of the row, half of the face is blocked by the people in the front row, but the exposed eyes are smiling.

The second photo of Xu Ye wearing a bachelor's uniform was taken on the day he graduated from university. Their school always had early holidays, and the graduation ceremony was held at the end of May.Ning Juechen happened to be defending his dissertation that afternoon, so he hesitated and rushed to see him in the morning, and asked his roommate Xu Yi to help take this photo.There was a traffic jam on the way back to school at noon, and I was almost late for my defense.

The third photo was the weekend when they first arrived in Lian City, Xu Ye showed mercy and agreed to go out with him. They went to the suburban park. This photo was automatically taken by the machine when they took the cable car.Xu Ye thought the cable car took too long, and when taking pictures, he was frowning impatiently and playing with his mobile phone while Ning Juechen stared at him timidly with his mouth pursed in bewilderment.

Ning Juechen still remembers the first time he went to Xu Ye's house and saw many photos of Xu Ye and Lu Juelan on the bookshelf.At that time, he didn't like Xu Ye, but envied that Lu Juelan could be cherished and remembered like this. He didn't expect that after ten years, he would have the opportunity to be carefully collected by Xu Ye.

But it’s still different after all. Xu Ye remembers that Lu Juelan got a three-good student in the fourth grade, remembers why Lu Juelan played the big bad wolf in the stage play of "Little Red Riding Hood" in the sixth grade, and remembers that Lu Juelan went to the zoo for a spring outing and was sprayed by a giraffe I remember that Lu Juelan was tricked by the sports committee to run 3000 meters in the second year of junior high school; but Xu Ye may not know how much Ning Juechen had to work hard to switch to him when taking graduation photos, and he may not know that Ning Juechen almost made a mistake in order to meet him. After defending the thesis, I may not know when and where the photo on the cable car was taken.

Ning Juechen just felt sore and unbearable, lowered his eyes sadly, turned his head and saw Xu Ye standing blankly at the door of the room, shaking his hand, and spilled half a glass of water