like a dog

"After I went in, I couldn't get in touch with the inhibitors, and the pheromones couldn't be suppressed after a long time. The prison guard in the detention center had friendship with my father. He found that my pheromones were more and more similar to his, so he sent him a message. .He sent someone to confirm a few times, and then changed me out."

"I recuperated for half a year. After not taking inhibitors, the dark spots disappeared by themselves. After the injury recovered, my father gave me two choices. One was to send me away and let me start again in a place where no one knew me. , the other is to stay with him and learn from the bottom."

Han Xuan's voice was low and his breathing slowed down. He lowered his eyes and seemed calm.Those dark days were passed away by him lightly.

"I chose the second road. I have been hiding for more than ten years, and I don't want to continue to hide. If I don't stand up by myself, I will still be trampled under my feet one day. If I take this road, I have to throw away more If I am still as cowardly as before, I will only fall worse. So I have no plan to come to see you, after all, both the previous person and the current me are already filthy."

Han Xuan sighed with a low smile.

"But when I saw you, I realized that I couldn't lie to myself. You were so far away from me, but I recognized it at a glance. Seeing you, the snow became warm. Your appearance didn't change at all, but I completely It's different. I dare not go over, afraid that you will recognize me, and also afraid that you will not recognize me."

Lin Xun stared fixedly at Han Xuan, his disbelief at the beginning gradually subsided.

He looked at his eyebrows, nose bridge, lips and auricles, they all vaguely had the shadow of the past.But there are some things that will never be seen through unless they are revealed. He never thought that he was really alive.

So close to him, right next to him.

"But I couldn't help it in the end. I wanted to see you more, to be by your side, and to have you look at me. I've never forgotten the feeling of having you in my life, a kind of The feeling of a clear sky. I also want to give you the same warmth, and I want to see you cleanly, so I removed all the scars on my body. But on the first day I saw you, I hurt my hand again."

Han Xuan laughed while talking, but Lin Xun couldn't laugh at all. Only those who have experienced it know how painful it is to remove the scars.

"Why are you so stupid..."

Lin Xun touched his cheek with reddened eyes, probably because he was afraid that he would recognize him.At that time, his body was either bruised or had minor injuries, and he had many scars. As long as he saw those scars, he could guess it was him.

"Other people's behavior can't determine what kind of person you are. It was never your fault. How could I... hate you?"

He fell in love with this person again and again, no matter if he was Lu Yuan or Han Xuan.But in the end, he found that even his initial feelings belonged to him.

Lin Xun's eyes were sour, but his heart was hot, as if all the luck that came late in these years came one after another in just a few minutes.The two people he wanted to see most in his life were now in front of his eyes.

He hugged him and said hoarsely, "You should tell me directly..."

"I'm sorry, I was too timid."

Han Xuan lowered his head and smiled, with tears in his eyes, the person he fell in love with was so good that he never wanted to let go in his life.

He hugged him lightly and said, "So, teacher, as you said, those... are not your fault."

Han Xuan took off the necklace on his neck, and put the silver chain with two rings on Lin Xun's hand.Lin Xun looked at the two rings in his palm, the two rings were close together, as if they were infinite.

"After leaving here, let's start again." Han Xuan said, "I'll wear it for you again when you recover from your injury."

The ring carried Han Xuan's body temperature, a little warmer than his hand.Lin Xun held them, as if grasping the dawn of the next day. He remembered the seaside he had mentioned several times, and replied softly "Yes".

Han Xuan put a coat on Lin Xun, picked him up and walked out of the gate.Bian Hai waited beside the car, and when he saw them coming out, he opened the car door.Han Xuan got in the car and left, just as crisp as when he came.The sky was getting dark, and the villa was gradually ignited with fire like the scorching sun.Tongues of fire leap up in the winter night, like wild beasts licking the night.

Lin Xun looked out of the window, and a certain part of his life seemed to retreat away from him red-hot.He leaned on the shoulder of the person next to him, and Han Xuan held his hand, avoiding his wound, and gently rubbed the back of his hand.

"Let's go home."

"Ah."

After passing the speed bump, the car shook slightly, but Lin Xun still closed his eyes.

"Han Xuan."

"Ok?"

"What if it was true?"

The car came to a steady stop in front of the sidewalk, and Bianhai held the steering wheel, nodding and smiling at the woman pushing the baby carriage passing by.Lin Xun leaned on Han Xuan's shoulder and continued, "If it's really me?"

Han Xuan never gave up looking for him. He himself had faked his death, so he didn't believe his death easily, but it was only an extremely slim possibility.

"That's not you."

"What if?"

"Not in case."

Driving into the tunnel, the lights swept across the roof of the car one after another, Han Xuan calmly said: "Even if there is such an event, I will come to you."

Lin Xun opened his eyes, the dim light enveloped the back of his hand and disappeared into the shadow.He raised his eyes, and his gaze met his.Han Xuan kissed his forehead: "Sleep, I will call you when I get home."

Lin Xun leaned on his shoulder and slowly closed his eyes again.After listening to the call just made, Bian Hai held on to the earphone, mouthed to the rearview mirror, and woke up.

Han Xuan nodded slightly, and said softly to Lin Xun, "Han Xun is fine." Lin Xun let out a long breath, and the tight string in his heart finally let go.

"That's good."

The night was getting darker, and the street lights in the North Street Park were also turned on.

Fu Rui climbed up the lush old banyan tree by the trunk, and the few floodlights under the tree made his eyes hurt.He got on the plane and got off just as it was about to take off.He hated himself for being vacillating, but he got off the plane as if fleeing.

I don't want to find Du Chuan, I don't want to see Guan Shan, I can't see Lin Xun.Fu Rui took a taxi and wandered around the city twice aimlessly. When he passed by North Street Park, he suddenly wanted to take a look at the time capsule hidden in the tree hole before, so he got out of the car.

It's been almost 20 years, and I don't know if it's still there.

Fu Rui sat on the tree trunk, biting his mobile phone with a flashlight on, digging in the dark tree hole, and really touched the hard bottom of a bottle.He was a little surprised, but when he took it out and looked at it, his face collapsed.

The feel is correct, the bottom of the bottle is indeed touched, but there is only one bottom of the bottle.It is estimated that the tree hole is not deep enough, and the original glass bottle was broken into several pieces due to years of wind and sun.He vaguely remembered that he put a few glass balls, stuffed a piece of paper, and a few small items, which were probably out of shape long ago.

People are unreliable, and trees are also unreliable. It is really a declining world.

Fu Rui threw the bottom of the bottle back to the tree hole in disappointment, but heard a crisp sound, as if hitting metal.Fu Rui was a little surprised, he reached out his hands curiously, and took a long time to take out a dusty iron box, which was stained with rust, but it was still tightly closed.He pulled the leaves, and after wiping his hands a few times, he froze in mid-air. He recognized the box.

It is a candy box, coconut-flavored candy, 35 pieces in a box.He held it on a park bench and waited for him to come back, counting it three times in boredom.Every time you count, there will be one less candy and one more candy paper.

Fu Rui slowly opened the rusty box lid. He thought it was huge when he held it before, but now he held it in his hand, but it was actually so small.

The candy box was empty, and only contained two things, a crooked ring of branches, thin and withered as if painted with ink, and a piece of paper folded in two, as if it had been placed on top of the candy. The backing paper in the box.

Fu Rui spread out the yellowed paper, the words on it were both familiar and unfamiliar.It was neat and correct, and I saw him write such characters many times before, but after his hand was injured, the handwriting completely changed.

It begins with his name, and the sharp letters look as sharp as the ones he wrote on the tiles in the first place.

"Fu Rui:

Sorry for doing such a bad thing to you.I know I made a mistake, and it hurts me to see you cry.

To me, you are more important than a friend.Every minute I see you is happier than the last minute.When you are sad, I am also sad.I want to treat you seriously and responsibly. When we both grow up, stay with me, okay?

Not because of that mark, because I like you. "

After reading the last sentence, Fu Rui burst out laughing. After sitting in the tree for a long time, he seemed to have some allergies, and his nose was slightly sore.He turned over the piece of paper, and sure enough there were a few lines of small characters on the back.Guan Shan is such a rigid person, how could he not sign the contract.

"If you don't want to come to me, I will come to you."

Holding the piece of paper, Fu Rui looked at the year, month and day in the signature, blinking with red eyes.

In the cold winter night, Fu Rui let out a breath of white air, and silently picked up the ring made of twigs and compared it on his finger, and as expected, it got stuck on the second knuckle.

Holding his breath, Fu Rui shouted at the tree hole, "Guan Shan, you bastard!"

There was almost no one in the park. Fu Rui let out a howl and didn't even startle a single pigeon. It was cold and they all huddled in the pigeon house.

Fu Rui muttered to the tree hole, as if it could fall into Guan Shan's ears from the other end after listening here: "The ring is made so small every time, who wants to be with you?"

"If you can't listen to someone speak well once, can't you communicate with your mouth?"

He sniffed with sour eyes, and cursed another bastard.

"sorry."

Fu Rui was startled by the sound coming from under his feet, and the candy box on his knee almost fell down along with the fallen leaves.Guan Shan stood under the banyan tree, and the landscape lights enveloped him from bottom to top. There was a layer of hoarfrost between his brows, and the leaves fell on his shoulders, like a small boat that ran aground.

Fu Rui had rhinitis, and his nose was so blocked that he couldn't smell. He didn't notice when he was standing there.

"Fu Rui."

"what?"

Fu Rui responded stiffly, he didn't want to see him, but his heart was full of him, and there was a part of him in his breath, which made him uncomfortable.

"sorry."

Fu Rui was at a loss, why did he say sorry again, he almost finished apologizing for ten years.

"I did such a bad thing to you. I know I made a mistake, and it hurts me to see you cry..."

Fu Rui was stunned, his mind went blank for a few seconds before he realized what he was talking about.Guan Shan stood among the fallen leaves, looked at the person on the tree, and slowly told him the words he wrote to him when he was 13 years old.

The cold wind hit the winter night, and Guan Shan's voice was deep and hoarse.Fu Rui looked at him silently, holding the withered ring tightly in his hand, every word seemed to be knocked on his heart.

After talking about the last year, month, and day, Guan Shan let out a sigh of relief. It is now January. Counting this year, 20 years have passed.

They had quarreled, kissed, lived and parted, and almost died.The good and the bad are full, only the things that should have been said but have not been said continue unabated.

"Come back to me, okay?"

Guan Shan stretched out his hand to Fu Rui, the wind passed through his fingers, caressing the scars on his fingers.Fu Rui sat on the tree trunk and said in a rough voice, "What if I say no?"

"Then I'll come up."

"How did you bring your suit and leather shoes?"

Guan Shan took off his coat, kicked off his shoes and stepped on the muddy ground.He was lowering his head to untie the cuff buttons when Fu Rui jumped down from the tree, picked up the cashmere coat on the ground, shook the fallen leaves and threw them on his shoulders.

"What habit do you have, throw it away as soon as you say it, do you..."

Before Fu Rui finished speaking, Guan Shan pulled him into his arms.He hugged him tightly, and the coat fell into the fallen leaves again, making his face even more disgraceful.

"Don't go any further."

Guan Shan's clothes were thin, but his arms were warm.Fu Rui let out a muffled oh, buried his head on his shoulder, still feeling a bit blocked in his heart, wanted to bite him to vent his anger, but when he caught a glimpse of his red ears from the cold, he curled his lips and let it go.

"It's freezing cold, did you drive here?"

"Stop at the north gate."

"so far?"

Fu Rui picked up the clothes and patted the ashes, Guan Shan took the coat with his leather shoes, but Fu Rui took off his dusty sneakers as well.He walked across the fallen leaves with his shoes on, and his white socks were dirty.He looked back at Guan Shan who was still standing there: "Aren't you going back?"

"coming."

Guan Shan followed, and Fu Rui walked under the street lamp, humming a song in a low voice.The cold wind was blowing, Guan Shan vaguely remembered this tune.

A few years ago, he saw a music video in a bar, projected on the wall, the picture was not clear, but the singing was mesmerizing.It should be a live recording, the screen shakes from time to time, and the shot is of the band, but the camera is only on the lead singer.

The light was dim, and his face couldn't be seen clearly, but he could see that his hair was dyed white.After he sang a song, he sat on a high stool, held the microphone and asked, do you love me, the crowd cheered, and their raised hands almost blocked the picture.

The lead singer held the microphone with a smile, looked at the crowd in the audience, and said to the camera with countless hands, I love you too.His voice was very soft, as if he was just talking to someone.As the band played the next song, he lowered his voice and sang a slow prelude.

He forgot the drink that night, but remembered the melody.

"What song is this?"

"do not know……"

Fu Rui couldn't remember the title of the song for a while, Guan Shan walked beside him with leather shoes, it was rare to see him so slovenly, and for the first time, he became interested in music.

He lowered his head and smiled. Under the street lamp, the shadows of the two of them stretched very long.

"It should be a love song."

Guan Nian breathed on the window glass in the car, saw a familiar figure approaching in the fog, opened the door and ran out of the car, throwing himself into Fu Rui's arms like a small cloud.Fu Rui hugged Guan Nian, turned around and glared at Guan Shan.

Guan Shan smiled helplessly, she must look for her with him, he had no choice but to take her with him.Guan Nian hugged Fu Rui's neck, and whispered to him.

Fu Rui nodded in response to her, and said slowly in her ear that he understood.Her soft hair swept over the tip of his nose, like stars falling into his arms.

In the apartment building, Lizhi jumped onto the lighted bedside table.Han Xuan hissed at it, and put the porridge brought over on the low cabinet beside him, but when he turned around, he saw it lying on the pillow again, stretching out its little paws to give Lin Xun a high-five.

Lin Xun scratched the lychee's furry chin, and said to Han Xuan, "Let it stay." Han Xuan smiled, picked up the lychee and sat down on the bed, and asked, "Shall we eat now?"

"Wait a minute..."

Lin Xun shook his head against the pillow, and said with sleepy eyes: "Let's sleep together for a while, I'm a bit cold..."

Han Xuan got under the covers, Lin Xun leaned against him, Han Xuan held his hand, but found it unexpectedly warm.He smiled and hooked his fingers: "Teacher, do you really feel cold?"

"chilly."

Lin Xun closed his eyes and smiled, stroking his index finger, recalling the mountain road that he walked with him on his back in Xiao'an Mountain that year. There were green wheat fields everywhere, and the breeze under the blue sky was as precious as white clouds.

Thinking about it carefully, it seemed that that was the first time he helped him bandage his wound.

"Actually, I dreamed of you that day." Lying under the warm quilt, Han Xuan's voice seemed to fall into a ball of cotton.

"That day in the hospital, you were in a coma for a long time. I fell asleep lying beside your bed. I saw you walking into a white light, so I chased after you and grabbed you. As soon as I held your hand, I suddenly became Zhong Yue again. I really want to keep you, but I'm afraid that if I do that, you might really not be able to wake up."

"I remember talking to you a lot, but I forgot about it when I woke up. You just woke up at that time, and I forgot it all when I was happy."

Lin Xun pressed against his chest, opened his eyes slightly and said, "Really?"

"Yes."

Han Xuan put his arms around him, gently stroking his shoulder with his thumb: "Teacher, have you ever dreamed about me?" Lin Xun only replied no, but Han Xuan didn't believe it.

"Really?"

"fake."

Lin Xun replied with a smile, he closed his eyes and stopped talking, and Han Xuan didn't ask him any more.Lychee slipped to the living room, flapping the plastic bag in a prickly manner.It turned over on the floor for a while, looked at the empty sofa, whined softly, and returned to the bedroom lightly.

It jumped onto the head of the bed and clung to Lin Xun's pillow again.Han Xuan grabbed Lychee by the back of his neck and brought it to his pillow. It meowed in protest.

Lin Xun laughed under the covers.There was a long night outside the window, but this night was no longer related to him.

END

2018. 4, 14