unspeakable love

"No! I just don't want you to waste time on me! I'm not the same kind of person as you, and you don't need to waste energy on me."

"Although I'm gay, I won't fall in love with a man when I meet him. Gays are also picky eaters. I just want to chat with you."

Xu Xiaochuan was embarrassed by the man's words, and he smiled awkwardly.

At this time, the bartender put the whiskey in front of Xu Xiaochuan.

"I invite you! Drink!"

"Thank you!" Xu Xiaochuan smiled at the man, then lifted his glass and drank it down.

"Are you curious about gays?" The man looked curiously at Xu Xiaochuan with a playful smile on his lips.

"My friend is gay. He likes men. I really want to know what the gay world is like." A bitter smile appeared on Xu Xiaochuan's face.

The man looked at Xu Xiaochuan, sized him up with a smile, and said, "Your friend is gay, so you have to be careful. With your looks, he might have been coveting you for a long time, but he didn't regard you as a friend." So easy!"

The man's words hit Xu Xiaochuan's heart, and he actually understood the words.

Xu Xiaochuan blushed in embarrassment: "You're right, my friend does like me, but I don't like men, I'm not gay!"

Xu Xiaochuan once again emphasized the fact that he is not gay.

"I didn't expect to be hit by me!" The man laughed twice: "Then you know that he likes you now, are you still friends with him?"

"I like him very much, but not like a lover. He treats me really well. This friend of mine is not only handsome, but also a very smart person. He is very talented and understands everything. I really want to be with him. He is a friend, but he is not as simple as a friend to me. I am really distressed now. I don’t want to give up his friend, but I don’t want to become gay. I can’t give him what he wants, but I keep I feel shameless and despicable to ask for it from him."

Xu Xiaochuan smiled wryly, with a look of pain on his face.

"So your friend has been obsessed with you, but you are unwilling to part with him, and you are reluctant to leave him?"

"Yeah, he is the only heart-to-heart friend in my life. He treats me really well. We were at the same table in high school. At that time, our relationship was very good. We played basketball together shoulder to shoulder all day long. Go prank, then we separated after high school, I didn't expect that after all these years, I would unexpectedly meet him again on the street. I was so poor that I didn't even have a place to live, and he brought me back home , let me live in his house, he took care of me when I was sick, bought me new clothes and new shoes, but I didn't expect him to love me all the time. He really did a lot for me, always for me Silently giving, but I can't repay him, the only thing he wants is my love, but it's exactly what I can't give."

Xu Xiaochuan felt depressed, which is why he talked so much with this stranger. Anyway, he is someone who will never see him again, so he might as well confide his troubles in his heart.

The man listened quietly to Xu Xiaochuan's confession, looking very serious.

"That man loves you very much! It is enough for a person to have someone who loves you like this in his life! In fact, you don't have to think so much, just follow your own heart, and don't be too persistent. You won't like men, some Things are out of your control, maybe you've fallen in love with your friend and you don't even know it."

Xu Xiaochuan was stunned by the man's words. He felt that he was becoming more and more attached to Lin Kai. When he thought of losing his friend and never seeing this man again after breaking up the relationship, Xu Xiaochuan would hold his heart tightly together. There were bursts of pain in his chest, maybe he had become gay unknowingly, Xu Xiaochuan couldn't help but feel terrified when he suspected this.

"You said that I can't do without my friend so much, I really have fallen in love with him, right?" Xu Xiaochuan stared at the man in horror and asked.

Seeing Xu Xiaochuan's panicked and dazed look, the man couldn't help laughing: "Then let me ask you, have you ever had an overly intimate act with him, such as kissing or something like that."

The man's words made Xu Xiaochuan's face flush immediately: "This..." He faltered and looked down at the wine glass in his hand uncomfortably, he was really embarrassed to say this.

Seeing Xu Xiaochuan's shy look, the man laughed: "Oh, don't be embarrassed, don't you want to know if you are in love with that person? If you don't tell me, how can I help you analyze it?"

Hearing what the man said, Xu Xiaochuan whispered, "Yes, he kissed me."

"Then let me ask you, how did you react when he kissed you? Did you feel particularly disgusted?" The man looked at Xu Xiaochuan and asked tentatively.

This question made Xu Xiaochuan fall into deep thought. Recalling the time he spent with Lin Kai, Lin Kai had indeed kissed him several times, as if the feeling was different each time.

"He did kiss me several times, and I felt different each time. At the beginning, I felt shocked and disgusted. Two men kissing is so perverted! But when he kissed me again later, I didn't have this disgusting feeling, but I didn't react, and I wasn't as excited as kissing a girl. But today he kissed me again, and I felt terrified, and what was even more horrifying was that I blushed Heart pounding, body reacting shamefully, I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm really confused, there's no way I'm in love with that man, how can I feel for him?"

A look of confusion and panic appeared on Xu Xiaochuan's face.

The man nodded thoughtfully after listening to Xu Xiaochuan's words, he thought for a while, then raised his head to look at Xu Xiaochuan and continued to ask: "Then let me ask you, do you miss that person when you can't see him?"

"I don't know that, because we live together and see each other every day, and I've never been out of his sight for more than twelve hours."

"I think you should try to separate from him for a while, both of you need to calm down, if you have that kind of longing feeling after you leave him, it means that you care about this man very much, and he has no idea I felt like walking into your heart.”

Xu Xiaochuan looked at the man and nodded: "Well, you are right! I think what you said makes sense." After speaking, Xu Xiaochuan picked up the wine glass in front of him, then raised his head and took another sip.

After being silent for a while, Xu Xiaochuan put down the wine glass, then turned to look at the man and said, "That..."

Xu Xiaochuan hesitated to speak, he faltered as if he wanted to say something.

Seeing Xu Xiaochuan hesitating, the man frowned and looked at him and said, "Do you have anything to say? It's okay, just ask whatever you want!"

Xu Xiaochuan thinks that men are very forthright and straightforward, and he also likes to chat with men. He was still hesitating whether to ask, but seeing the man's free and easy appearance, he probably doesn't mind.

Xu Xiaochuan finally plucked up the courage to ask: "Do you think two men will be happy together? Two men can't get a marriage certificate when they are together, and they can't have a marriage protected by law. Once they break up After breaking up, love is gone but there is nothing left, no security at all, and the most important thing is that I can't have children."

As soon as Xu Xiaochuan finished speaking, a playful smile appeared on the corner of the man's mouth. He looked at Xu Xiaochuan and asked, "Then what do you think is happiness? Do you think that men and women will be happy when they are together? I still Let me tell you my story!"

The man's words made Xu Xiaochuan interested all of a sudden, he turned his head to look at the man curiously, and listened carefully to his narration.

The man turned his head and watched the handsome bartender ordered another glass of whiskey, then he raised his head and took a sip of the wine with thin lips. Xu Xiaochuan noticed that the man looked a little sad.

"I met him online. At that time, I was an unemployed young man with no goals in life. I went to the night market to set up a stall in order to make a living. When I was free, I used my mobile phone to chat with him online. He is A very economical person, he gave me a lot of help, he told me what products to sell to make money, and what to sell well in the night market, I listened to his words, and sure enough, I made a lot of money by setting up street stalls in the night market. I made an appointment with him just to thank him, I wanted to treat him to a meal to thank him in person, and I was so excited that he actually agreed to meet me. I dressed up for our first date, I was very excited and nervous that day." When talking about this, Xu Xiaochuan saw a happy and sweet smile on the man's face, this memory must be very good, and the man is so impressed.

The man paused, then picked up his glass and took another sip of whiskey.

Xu Xiaochuan continued to listen to him intently. After drinking, the man turned to look at Xu Xiaochuan and continued: "I clearly remember that day that he was wearing a khaki casual jacket and a pair of light blue jeans. The first time I saw him, I was stunned. This man is exactly the type I like. He is very handsome. Although his facial features are not very three-dimensional and angular, he is very attractive. He is fair and clean, with a high bridge of nose. , with a sharp chin, is the kind of man who makes people feel comfortable. His eyes are not very big and single eyelids, but they are deep and black. His eyes are very gentle. When I first saw him, I fell in love with him I fell in love with him. And he has a good impression of me, as you can see, I am also very handsome." As he spoke, the man looked at Xu Xiaochuan and showed a confident smile. This is the first time Xu Xiaochuan has seen such a Praise yourself for being such a narcissistic man.

"Yes, you are really good!" Xu Xiaochuan nodded with a smile. He also told the truth that the man is indeed good-looking, tall and mighty, with delicate features.

"It can be said that we fell in love at first sight, and we have a good impression of each other. We met at the entrance of the hotel. I still remember the address of that restaurant. Now I will go there for dinner when I have time. Unfortunately, I am the only one now. people."

"What happened then? Why did you separate?" Xu Xiaochuan looked at the man curiously and asked.

The man raised his head to look at Xu Xiaochuan and smiled wryly, with a sad look on his face: "Only death can separate us! Since that meeting, we have been in contact frequently, and our relationship has become better and better. Later, he proposed Started a company with me, so we scraped together and finally got enough money to start a company. The name of the company is named after the two of us. Our relationship has heated up sharply, and we decided to stay together for the rest of our lives. Become a lifelong partner. But soon the family knew about our relationship, my parents and his parents were strongly opposed to us being together, and they had to break us up, but no matter what they did

Breaking us apart makes us cherish each other even more.But what I didn't expect was that a misunderstanding later made me dizzy. I didn't believe him and thought he had betrayed me. In a fit of anger, I married the girl my mother introduced to me. I didn't know the truth until a year later. It turned out that it was a misunderstanding, and I misunderstood him.But at this time, I was actually suffering from cancer, lung cancer. Fortunately, it was not serious in the early stage when it was discovered, but it cost a lot of money to be hospitalized. I don't have much money anymore, and my wife saw that I was sick and had no money left, so she thought it was pointless to follow me, so she abandoned me. Do you think women are reliable? "

At this time, there was a mocking smile on the man's face, he picked up his glass and raised his head to take another sip of wine.

Xu Xiaochuan also felt the same way, he had also been hurt by women before.

"What then?"

Xu Xiaochuan was very curious about the man's story, and he couldn't wait to know what happened next.

After drinking, the man continued to tell his story.

"After my wife passed away, I lost all hope. I felt that life was hopeless. I got cancer again. I felt that the whole world abandoned me, but I was wrong! There is one person who will never abandon me, even if I do The thing that hurt him. Later he learned about my hospitalization, he helped me pay the hospitalization fee, and then went to the hospital to take care of me every day. It can be said that he was meticulous. My parents saw all this in their eyes. The man who came out treated me sincerely, and later they also figured it out, as long as I can be happy and get happiness, it doesn’t matter if the partner is a man! Under his careful care, my illness gradually recovered, After recovering and being discharged from the hospital, we lived together, and we wanted to live happily ever after! We lived together for five years, and that was the happiest day in my life. But I didn’t expect that death would separate us , I thought nothing could separate us, but we were no match for death, a car accident took his life, and I lost him forever."