Cannon fodder's death manual

"Brother Xiaoye, why are you still here! The dean said that someone will come to adopt/adopt/the child today, let's all go there now!" A little boy ran into the activity room and tugged at Ye Qian's sleeve anxiously. It is much smaller, and it can be seen that I have cleaned myself up for today.

At that time Xiao Qian was not called Xiao Qian, and Xiao Qian at that time was still a "slow-salable product" in the orphanage, and he seemed to be a maverick among all the little ghosts.

When Ye Qian was ten years old, his father’s business went bankrupt and he jumped off the top floor of the company. His mother was harassed by debt collectors and suffered a nervous breakdown. On the beam, the old man stuck out his tongue.

Then he was sent to the orphanage. At the age of ten, he is still young in other places, but in a place like the orphanage, he is already an "old child". No one is willing to pick him back to raise him, because this Older children are "unfamiliar with feeding", and the chances of raising a white-eyed wolf are much higher than the chances of raising a dutiful son.

So he hates this kind of time, knowing that no one will adopt him, he has to stand out from the crowd among the small potatoes and let others choose.

His life plan for himself is to stay in the orphanage with peace of mind until he graduates from junior high school at the age of 15, and then stop studying and go out to work to earn money to support himself.

But he didn't expect that he would be adopted when he was 15 years old, before the 13-year-old he had planned in his life.

He still remembers the day he was adopted, it was raining all the time.

At that time, he was standing in front of the window of the activity room and counting the raindrops falling on the window. He saw a black car driving into the orphanage from a distance, and the people getting off from the car were holding black umbrellas. He could only See that man's expensive leather shoes.Seemingly noticing that someone was secretly watching him, that person stopped and looked up towards the activity room on the second floor. At that moment, Ye Qian saw that person's young face under the black umbrella.

When the teacher at the orphanage told him to go over, his heart almost jumped out of his chest. He even wondered if the teacher made a mistake, did someone want to adopt him?Is it that person just now?That person wants to adopt himself?

Arriving at the dean's office nervously, he saw that the man was sitting gracefully on the sofa, wearing a suit and a neat haircut, younger and more handsome than he had just glanced at.

The man smiled when he saw him, and said to him, "Ye Qian, I am Xiao Di, and I will be your guardian from today on."

Facing such a dazzling person, he lowered his head a little ashamedly, and was so nervous that he didn't know what to say.

Facing his silence, the man rubbed his head affectionately, "Ye Qian, change your surname to Xiao in the future, Xiao Qian, this name is also good."

He felt the temperature of that person's palm in a daze, and felt that all this was too beautiful to be real.

On the way out of the orphanage, the man was holding an umbrella, which was slightly tilted, and he didn't even notice that the rain had wet his shoulders.At that time, he was cautiously following that person with his schoolbag in his arms. In fact, he was a little scared in his heart, afraid that the person would suddenly repent and send him back.

As he walked, his shoelaces were untied and soaked in muddy water. Seeing the man looking back at his feet, and thinking of the broken sneakers on his feet, he put away his feet with a little inferiority.

Unexpectedly, the man just smiled, handed the umbrella to him, squatted down to pick up his shoelaces, and neatly tied a beautiful bow on his feet with his fingers.

He watched the man's actions in surprise, not knowing how to react, he could only say thank you blankly.

After the man got up, he rubbed his head affectionately, "Thank you, I am your guardian."

Staring blankly at the gentle smile on the corner of the man's mouth, he thought, it turns out that sometimes it only takes a moment to fall in love with someone.

Also from that day on, he was no longer Ye Gan, but Xiao Gan, Xiao Di's Xiao Gan.

After bringing him home, Xiao Di treated him very well, as a guardian, but that was all, it was only family affection, not love.But what makes him gratified is that such a Xiao Di would not fall in love with others, his enthusiasm for work is far greater than his desire for love, his love life is a blank slate, so pure that he dare not blaspheme.

He never dared to ask such Xiao Di why he chose to adopt him in the first place, everything is so beautiful now like a dream, when he was in the dream, he was afraid to ask, and the dream woke up.

He often thinks, if Xiao Di can always be like this and never fall in love with anyone, if his eyes can never stop for anyone, then he is willing to just hide his feelings for the rest of his life, he just needs to be silent Just look at him, as long as you can stay by his side like this.

As long as he can always be like this, it doesn't belong to anyone, even if it doesn't belong to him.

But Xiao Di still fell in love with someone else after all, a man who has nothing but his face.

The moment Xiao Di told him that he loved Yang Qing, he felt that his belief had collapsed, and his persistence was broken by a Yang Qing who appeared out of nowhere, and that Yang Qing easily got Xiao Di's love. Love still doesn't know how to cherish, and what's even more sad is that he himself is not included in Xiao Di's consideration at all.

He even felt that he had been betrayed, and there was a voice in his head screaming: He is leaving you!He is leaving you!If he doesn't do something else, he'll belong to someone else...

Yeah, if he doesn't do something else, he'll belong to someone else...

If Xiao Di is not Mr. Xiao, not the head of the Xiao family, if Xiao Di will not fall in love with others, will not keep his eyes on others, will not go out to attract bees and butterflies without knowing it, if Xiao Di has no wings, If his eyes could only look at himself, if his body could only belong to him, if Xiao Di was not someone else but his own Xiao Di, that would be great.

This terrible and paranoid thought is like a dangerous beast, growing with his growing possessiveness towards Xiao Di, rampaging in his heart day and night, until one day, he can no longer control it , The iron chain binding the beast in his heart broke suddenly, and then, the beast came out of the cage.

Xiao Di said that love is innocent, so crimes committed in the name of love must also be forgiven.

On that thunderstorm night, when Xiao Di got drunk and carried him out of Yang Qing's room, he just lay obediently in his arms, closed his eyes and didn't know anything, like a weak A helpless baby, leaning obediently in his arms can only rely on him.

If only he could be like this all the time, then he would definitely treat him better than anyone else, he loves him so much, no one in the world loves him more than him.

But he will wake up sooner or later, he will become someone else's Xiao Di again when he wakes up, he will look at others, smile at others, and be kind to others.

He can't allow such a thing to happen, Xiao Di only needs to be his own Xiao Di, his eyes only need to look at him, and he only needs to rely on him.

Putting the pre-prepared Mo|fei into Xiao Di's body, Xiao Di groaned because of the pain, he was heartbroken to death, but there was no way to do it, he convinced himself that the pain was only temporary, Xiao Di will be happy sooner or later, he loves him so much, how can he be willing to let him suffer.

Then it was planned to cut off Xiao Di's wings and make the whole world abandon him. When the whole world abandoned Xiao Di, Xiao Di would only be left with himself, and he would only belong to himself.

The plan went smoother than expected, with almost no obstacles, but to his surprise, Xiao Di was still smiling at him and calling him "A-gan" even after he was sentenced.

As if he was just a naughty child, coquettishly trying to get their parents' attention.

Don't look at me like that!He thought a little angrily, I am not your child, never have been!Look clearly, there is a man standing in front of you!He is a man with ambition and desire!This man loves you so much that he loves you so much that he wants to knead you deeply into his flesh and blood and never separate him.

Finally, after his organization exhausted all despicable means to get that person, after that person finally had nothing and could only rely on him as he wished, he thought that he had fulfilled his wish, but the development of things seemed to be different from that of I thought differently.

Mo|fei makes Xiao Di unable to leave him, but that's all, Xiao Di is still that Xiao Di, that gentle and cruel Xiao Di, even if Mo|fei destroys his spirit completely, he is still that same Xiao Di. Xiao Di won't fall in love with her.

Xiao Di almost never controlled his need for morphine. From the beginning of the drug addiction attack, he let himself give him medicine, to the later active abuse, he indulged in the pursuit of the pleasure brought by morphine, all day long Hopelessly addicted to the paradise brought by drugs, he doesn't care about his body, and doesn't care that those drugs will destroy his healthy body.

But what qualifications does he have to say this?Obviously he personally turned Xiao Di into what he is now, and obviously the instigator of all this is himself.

Looking at Xiao Di who was lying on the bed in a trance, he suddenly remembered the first time he saw this person, he was so young and handsome, his gestures were so dazzling that he was ashamed of himself, he just sat on the sofa gracefully and said softly to him I am Xiao Di, and I will be your guardian from today on.

He was so beautiful at that time, so beautiful that he thought he was in a dream.

But Xiao Di, who was so beautiful and dazzling, was turned into what he is today by his own hands, and the shadow of that time can no longer be found.

Looking at Xiao Di who was kneeling at his feet humbly and begging when the drug addiction broke out with heartache, he began to regret everything he had done back then.

God, I am guilty and unpardonable.

However, before he could atone for his sins and make up for what he had done, Xiao Di's health went wrong.He has long known that Xiao Di is prone to headaches, he has long known that Xiao Di has a terrible headache every morning when he wakes up, he has known that Xiao Di needs to be injected with morphine every night to be able to fall asleep, he has long known this.

But he thought it was just a common headache, a symptom of drug addiction, so he subconsciously didn't care about it, he kept saying that he loved him, but he let him hurt like that for so long.

It wasn't until Xiao Di was completely blind, until he curled up on the ground trembling with his head in his arms, and until his nosebleeds flowed all over his face, that he realized that he might be sick.

He hurriedly sent him to the hospital and sent him to the emergency room. It wasn't until the doctor took the operation agreement and signed it for him that he really realized that Xiao Di, he was really sick.

He had a tumor in his brain that had grown a long time ago.

When Xiao Di adopted him home, the tumor started to grow.When Xiao Di gently rubbed his head and bent down to tie his shoelaces gently, the tumor was growing.When Xiao Di fell asleep at night and he injected morphine into his body, the tumor was growing.When he brought Xiao Di to court, and Xiao Di stood pale in the dock, the tumor was growing.When he hugged Xiao Di tightly and whispered in his ear that he loved him, the tumor kept growing.

Like a timer/bomb/bomb in Xiao Di's body, counting down the countdown of Xiao Di's life all the time.

It will be fine, Xiao Di will be fine!

After the surgery, Xiao Di recovers physically, he will help Xiao Di detoxify, and when Xiao Di finishes detoxifying, he will let him go, no matter where he wants to go, no matter who he likes or who he wants to be with, he will not let him go. He would obstruct him, as long as...as long as Xiao Di is alive, as long as he is alive.

"The patient has a history of injecting morphine for a long time, and the amount of anesthetic is not enough. Hurry up and take another 300 mg of morphine!"

Hearing the nurse's voice, there was a buzz in his head, and he staggered backwards and nearly fell.

Anesthesia... not enough...

He looked at the door of the operating room with a pale face. How long has it been since Xiao Di was pushed in?

Has Xiao Di been sober all this time?Soberly felt that his head was opened, soberly felt the doctor's scalpel cutting his brain, soberly felt the despair of approaching death, helpless.

I am a sinner, and there is no forgiveness for it.

He couldn't stand anymore, and slowly knelt down at the door of the operating room.

In the end... I still killed you...

Xiao Di...

While signing the death notice, a nurse asked him, "Who are you to the deceased?"

He hesitated for a moment, and signed his name in the column where the family members signed.

"Son. I am his son."

He often wondered what it would have been like if Xiao Di hadn't gone to the orphanage and adopted himself at that time.

Xiao Di will always be the dazzling and beautiful Xiao Di, who has never been addicted to drugs, ruined his reputation, or betrayed his relatives. He will check out his physical problems early and kill all dangers in the cradle early. He will always be healthy, Always clean, he might marry Lin Xin, appear in the newspapers together, and live happily ever after.

And he will leave the orphanage at the age of 15, find a small shop to work to earn money to support himself, maybe meet an ordinary woman, and then he will save money to get married, have a child, and work hard to earn money to support his family.Maybe he will see reports about Xiao Di on TV, but at that time, he will definitely not care about the rich man on TV, and he will look forward to the life of a rich man with his wife regardless of his own business, and sigh with emotion It's nice to have money.

They were originally people from two worlds, two parallel lines, and they shouldn't be entangled with each other in the first place.

He thought, if, if there is a next life, then Xiao Di should not adopt him.

Just like that, two parallel lines that never meet.

That's fine.