With the wind

I already believe some people I never have to wait

So I understand why I cry in the dim light

I kept telling myself that I made the right decision!Time and time again, I strengthened my determination and failed again and again.

The TV is full of sensational dialogues, and I can't bear her, I can't bear her in my mind.But I know we've come to an end.It is impossible for me to forget that incident, and I have had enough of waiting and suspicion, and finally... I made up my mind to forget you, it will be a very long process.

Now this moment is the first step for me to forget you and miss you crazily.

Our beginning is a clichéd story that happened unexpectedly.Wrong time, wrong place, wrong person, and an unsurprising ending.

My childhood experience made me take love very seriously, it carries almost all my dreams and warmth.

Lin Lin only gave me a small part of it, and I was already addicted.Just like a drug addict, he would warn himself at the beginning, no, no, but in the end, he could not withstand the passing of time and temptation, and became a complete addict.

I like her, it is an inevitable thing.What she gave is what I want most, and I will definitely be tempted.I just like it, I can afford to lose.

Fortunately, Lin Lin likes me too.It's just that her liking isn't strong enough to exclude "her" from our story.

At first, I didn't care, I didn't give my sincerity, how could I want others' sincerity.But now, I am getting more and more greedy, can I not care?While I was concerned about death in my heart, I was calm on the surface, and I couldn't see any emotional changes.I don't know how to open my mouth to tell her that I care very much and hope you don't contact her anymore.So that happened.

Three full days before the college entrance examination, she took me home, and halfway through, her phone rang.My intuition told me it was the girl.She was on the phone, looking at me hesitantly.

I stood next to her, and I heard the general idea of ​​their conversation. She asked Lin Lin to pick her up from get out of class.I was afraid to hear Lin Lin say it himself, so I spoke before her.

"I'll go first." Without waiting for her answer, she turned around and walked towards home, without hesitation or pause, just frowning.

"I..." She might want to explain.The explanation doesn't matter anymore, does it?You are already hesitating, and I don't want to stop you.

I feel that I have been severely humiliated, and I just want to go quickly. After passing this intersection, this matter will be buried in the depths of my memory. Don't mention it to others, and I dare not mention it again.Also... I can't afford to lose this person.

Later, every time I think about it, the feeling at that time is still vivid in my memory.

Back to the rental house, this is the house rented by my parents for the convenience of taking care of my study.Today is the last night of my stay here, and it is destined to be a difficult night.

I sit on the sofa and watch TV alone. In the dead of night, I am alone at home. I am inevitably lonely. I need some lively sounds to fill the room, which will reduce some loneliness.

I am afraid of being alone, so I am greedy for the little warmth she gave me.I am very afraid that one day she will leave me with these warmths, so I dare not like her because I am afraid of her leaving.When I knew she liked me, I let down my vigilance and gradually dropped the disguise.But forget, so what if you like it?Maybe liking in her heart is not an important thing at all.

Someone knocked on the door, and I realized I was thinking wildly again.Who is it so late?

I walked to the door and saw her from the cat's eyes, but I didn't speak or open the door.

She yelled loudly: "If you don't open the door again! I'll kick the door! You know, I can do it!" The old house where I lived couldn't block her voice at all, and it passed through my eardrum completely.

I immediately became angry and said in a mean tone: "Hey! Are you threatening me?"

"I just want you to open the door and let's have a good talk." She softened her tone.

"What do you want to talk about? Talk about your relationship? Or talk about ours? Or the three of us?" I asked sarcastically.

"Will you listen to my explanation?"

"Oh, no need." In a calm tone.

"Open the door, okay? Otherwise, I'm really going to kick the door! Don't think I'm afraid!" She was really anxious.

I opened the door with a swipe, and said sarcastically, "Is there anything else you dare not do?" I turned around and walked back to the living room.

I actually want her to give me an explanation, and I am also waiting for her explanation.If I could forget her, I would long ago.Just being the third one between us is enough.But why didn't I?

Because every day I can see her as soon as I enter the classroom, she sits next to me, we attend classes together, read books together, we spend more than ten hours a day together, and we are the ones who accompany each other the longest.She dangles in front of me every day, reminding me that she is the person I like, how can I forget?How can I forget?

On the contrary, day after day, I become more and more inseparable from each other, more and more inseparable from each other.So, I began to tolerate her promiscuity and flirtatiousness.

But my tolerance has a bottom line.

I was sitting on the sofa, watching the boring plot played on the TV, she was standing at the door of the living room, her eyes fell on me.We are all silent, confronting each other in this way, no one speaks, because the person who speaks first will lose the opportunity in the following conversation.

Time seemed to stand still, only the changing plot in the black box directly in front reminded us that time was passing by every minute and every second.

"Are you angry?" she asked cautiously.

"Shouldn't I be angry?" My eyes turned from the TV to her. "Well, since you think I can't be angry. Then I won't be angry. You can go." I was really confused up.

"That's not what I mean. I promised to pick her up from school, but I forgot about it. On the way to take you home, she called, and I just remembered." She carefully observed the changes in my face, Side explained.

"It's not something I should think about. I just know that just now! You went to pick up another girl halfway, and I went home by myself." He said sternly.

"But I promised her first, if I didn't agree, then I definitely won't go!" She continued to defend herself, "Just now I had a fight with her because of this."

"Really? Don't get involved with me when you quarrel!" I sneered.

"Don't be angry, I was wrong. What happened today is that I did something wrong." She became cautious and flattering again.

I didn't answer.After a brief moment of silence, she hit my heart with a word, revealing all my emotions.

She said, "Do you think I don't like you?"

This sentence made me enlightened. It turned out that the previous bluff was because I was afraid, because I couldn't feel all her likes.This seems to be what I've been waiting for.I froze for a few seconds.

Under normal circumstances, I should refute, but that day I suddenly figured it out and decided to face my heart. I was really afraid. "Yes. I always thought you liked me, you said that. I felt it too. I always believed it, but what did you do just now? I wonder if I was being passionate before? Tell me, I How can I trust you? Believe that the person you like is me?"

"The matter between you is not in front of my face. I can pretend that I don't know it, and I will bear it. But now, you put it in front of me without any shyness. Do you think it's appropriate? You really think I'm a wooden man , Don’t you have a heart? Hid it in front of me and covered it tightly, okay? Why did you let me know?” My emotions became more and more agitated, and I panicked because I exposed my heart, and I was very disturbed , trying to hide his uneasiness.

She walked up to me, bent down, held the back of my head with her right hand, and kissed my lips.

"Do you believe it now? Do you believe that I like you?" She staggered a little distance, looked into my eyes, and asked me softly.Like a little girl who is afraid of disturbing the rabbit.

I didn't answer her question, I put my hands behind her head, pulled into the distance between us, imitated her movements, and kissed her.

Suddenly there was firecrackers outside, maybe there was a happy event in someone else's house.Hearing the sound, I stopped and frowned, it was too loud.Suddenly, the sound of firecrackers became much quieter.It was she who covered my ears with her hands and smiled at me.

This person seems heartless, what does it matter if he treats me so well now?Slapped me and gave me another candy?

I clearly know that what is wrapped in the gorgeous icing is a penetrating intestine, but as long as it is given by her, even if I hesitate, even if I am afraid, I will eventually eat it.

I don't want to be without her anymore.I started to get used to someone harassing me from time to time every day, telling me what she was doing, where she was going, and what I was thinking anytime, anywhere. Seeing her voice, maybe a sentence, maybe a song, and occasionally receiving her selfie, I will dislike her.Even when he woke up at night, he would check to see if there was any news from her.

In the past, I would often receive calls from her angrily, asking me loudly, why didn't I read the news!Thinking about it now, maybe this is what I like.

I made a decision, and I said, "Don't keep in touch, okay?"

She hesitated.I also understood that it was wrong from the beginning.

Picked up the phone several times and put it down again.

After hesitating for a long time, I mustered up the courage to open it.

If you looked back at that time, I would never let go, Lin Lin.

This sentence is a bomb, "Boom" exploded in my heart, and shattered the door of my heart.All the emotions I had been suppressing burst out all at once, and my mind was in a mess.Like tears bursting a bank, my heart ached.

Suddenly, I realized that I could turn back just now.

I regretted like crazy, why didn't I turn around at that time?Why don't you turn back?I clearly know how reluctant I am, how much I want to rush into her arms desperately, how much I want to throw away those messy things, and then tell her, let's be together.But I have neither.

Because leaving is leaving, and I can't go back.

When we were separated by that door, I knew she was waiting for me.It's just that I overlooked why.

Later, I often thought, if I hadn't been so stubborn and looked for her back, what would have happened to us?

Unfortunately, this question is unsolvable.

In our story, because of the existence of the third person, I always feel that I have been wronged a lot, and I feel that I have tolerated too much.

Every time I quarrel, I must be the one who wins. The words I say will only be more cruel than the sentence. Cold War will never take the initiative to seek peace, because I think it was her who sorry for me first, and I am not wrong in any way.But am I really not wrong?

Until one time, she asked me why I always don't let her win?

Why?Because of your promiscuity and fickleness, I feel that you owe me?Suddenly, I realized that I was wrong, I just used winning to prove that she cared about me.Obviously there could be a better way, but I stubbornly chose the stupidest one.

She is an accident in my life, I never thought that so many stories would happen between us.I am not an easy person to get along with, and sometimes I feel a little uncomfortable getting along with my friends.After meeting her, I panicked even more.I hope she can put away her promiscuity and flirtatiousness, thinking she can understand.But how would she know if I didn't tell you?

If I can take the initiative and fight for more between us, even if it is just a sentence, maybe we can overcome these obstacles together.However, I blindly escaped and forgot what it was like to move forward.So, I lost, a complete failure, a complete mess.