Being-Towards-Death

This was probably the most peaceful sleep Shi Guyuan had ever had.Even though it was raining heavily outside the window, even though the heavy curtains could not block the flickering street lights, it did not disturb his good night's sleep.

Chi Yu's slightly damp hair exuded the fragrance of shampoo, and the two of them were back to back, unable to stop their breath flowing quietly in the air.Shi Guyuan slept deeply until he was awakened by the unique cold wave in the morning.He looked towards the source of the cold wave, and Chi Xiaoyu climbed onto the bed of the fathers with her little butt pouted, lifted the quilt between them, and squeezed herself in like a liquid.

Chi Yu grunted, and buried his face deeper; Shi Guyuan trimmed Chi Xiaoyu's hair, and whispered, "Dad is sleeping, don't disturb him."

Chi Xiaoyu nodded, turned around, faced Shi Guyuan, imitated Shi Guyuan, waved his hands, and said in a low voice, "Let's not quarrel."

Shi Guyuan took the alarm clock to look at it, and said, "It's only six o'clock, how about you go to sleep?"

Chi Xiaoyu hugged his neck and whispered, "Actually, I'm a little hungry."

Shi Guyuan wiped his face to wake himself up, picked up Chi Xiaoyu, and landed lightly on the ground; on the way to the kitchen, he asked, "What do you want to eat in the morning?"

"sandwich!"

"Then you are not allowed to pick out the vegetables and have another glass of milk."

Chi Xiaoyu was a little unhappy, and said sullenly: "But I like to eat meat."

"No picky eaters."

Seeing that there was no room for turning back, Chi Xiaoyu reluctantly agreed, but proposed to watch cartoons.Yesterday's "The Lion King" saw half of it and didn't finish it.Shi Guyuan played it again for her, and ate breakfast around the TV.Shi Guyuan sat next to her and watched with her. Chi Xiaoyu was very emotional in front of acquaintances. When he saw Mufasa die, he cried and hiccupped; when he saw Peng Peng and Ding Man, he jumped up and joined them. Jumping, singing "Hakuna Matata" vaguely; Shi Guyuan quickly dragged her back, wiped her sauce-smeared front skirt, stuffed milk into her hand, and said: "Slow down, Dad Not up yet."

Chi Xiaoyu accepted it humbly, but it didn't take long for him to go back to his old ways; the parrot on the screen sang "The world is so small", and Chi Xiaoyu said: "It should be 'a small world of truth, kindness and beauty'. He sang the wrong sentence."

Shi Guyuan said: "There are several versions, and he sang the Cantonese version; when I have a chance in the future, I will take you to Disney to play this song all day long."

Chi Xiaoyu asked, "What is Disney?"

"It's the home of Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck."

"Where's Simba? Is Simba here?"

"Simba is here too."

"That's great!" Chi Xiaoyu acted coquettishly, "When shall we go?"

Shi Guyuan thought for a while and said, "When you and your dad have time, let's go together."

Chi Xiaoyu said: "I will be on summer vacation soon! Let's go for summer vacation, shall we? Shall we?"

Shi Guyuan scratched her little nose: "You have to ask your father."

"Asked me what?"

As soon as the words fell, Chi Yu leaned against the door with sleepy eyes, looked at them, and yawned again.

Chi Xiaoyu rushed over, hugged Chi Yu's leg, and said flatteringly, "Dad, let's go to Hakuna Matata!"

"Hakuna Matata? What?"

Chi Xiaoyu rushed to say: "Be carefree, I don't mean to be troubled! Let's go out to play, and we will be carefree!"

Shi Guyuan added later: "In the cartoons, she learns quickly." As he spoke, he poured a glass of milk for Chi Yu, "Just now I said that Xiao Yu'er will be on summer vacation, I think we'll take her to Disney Play. Now everything is ready, I only owe you the wind, and the annual leave can be taken as soon as it should be taken, and I am not Zhou Baopi."

Chi Yu regained his consciousness, remembering the embarrassment of last night, he didn't know what expression to use to face it; seeing Shi Guyuan's behavior was slightly intimate but smooth, as if it should be so, he was less sure what to do.

Chi Yu passively accepted a glass of milk, and when he lowered his head, Chi Xiaoyu still looked at him expectantly.

"Disney... Then go abroad?" Chi Yu frowned, "There are passports and visas, too much trouble, it costs money, and it takes a long time... Forget it."

Shi Guyuan smiled calmly: "Chi Yu, the child likes it."

Chi Yu didn't answer, but squatted down with the milk, and said to Chi Xiaoyu, "Dad doesn't have any money to take you out to play right now, we'll go when we save enough, okay?"

Chi Xiaoyu looked at Shi Guyuan at a loss, hoping that he could be her rescuer; Shi Guyuan couldn't hold back the smile on his face, so he had to turn sideways to cover it up, and changed the subject without a trace: "Come over for breakfast first , the sandwich that Xiao Yuer ordered, how about you try it, is it as delicious as yours?"

Chi Yu made no comment.After breakfast, Shi Guyuan and Chi Yu sent Chi Xiaoyu to swimming lessons; during the course, the two found a cafe to kill time.Chi Yu ordered a glass of juice, and Shi Guyuan ordered a bottle of mineral water; Chi Yu was a little nervous when he was alone with Shi Guyuan, Shi Guyuan was sensitive to Chi Yu's rigidity, so he didn't speak, and turned his head to look out the window at midsummer scenery.

He thought that yesterday's behavior of rummaging through other people's drawers was really rude; he also accidentally exposed the picture album, and it would take time for him to buffer the embarrassment.

But someone always has to take the first step.Shi Guyuan didn't mind that he was the one who took the first step, but he didn't want to take advantage of the fire - even if the seed called "deviant" germinated, it didn't mean it could grow into a tree smoothly.

This era is not tolerant of people like them. They need to try their best to hide themselves, and they are walking on thin ice when interacting with others. They can't be frank, so some words and sentences are destined to be unspeakable.

After a while, Chi Yu took a sip of fruit juice to moisten his throat, looked at Shi Guyuan's expression, and said slowly: "... In the morning, don't take it too seriously."

Shi Guyuan smiled and said, "I was the one who was abrupt, and I should be the one apologizing to you."

Chi Yu said: "Guyuan, I know you are good to Xiaoyu, but... I am her father, I am not as good as you in many ways, I can't provide her with a better and superior life like you, I don't want her At this age, I found out that my father turned out to be a failure."

Shi Guyuan shook his head and said, "It's because I interfered too much, and I will pay attention to it in the future; but in my eyes, Chi Yu, you are excellent."

Chi Yu pursed his lips.

"I'm not comforting you, I really think so, otherwise—" Shi Guyuan paused, swallowed the straightforward "first step", and said in a more tactful way, "See you I'm really happy with the painting..."

Chi Yu lowered his eyes, and he held the cold glass, trying to suppress the secretion of sweat in his palms; seeing Chi Yu's feedback like this, Shi Guyuan felt uneasy, with a little regret—he was still impatient, and Chi Yu's reaction was reflected in his It was expected, but it was beyond reason; there were only two of them in the coffee shop, and the waiters were far away. Their voices were not loud, and their ways were subtle, so they would not be discerned.

Maybe Chi Yu didn't want to take that step at all - being friends is safe and benign, that's the "right way" of social interaction - he was too selfish and greedy.

Time crawled in silence, Shi Guyuan maintained his demeanor, and apologized first: "I'm sorry, I messed with your things yesterday, and I won't do it in the future."

Chi Yu shook his head, perhaps feeling that his strength was not strong enough, so he forced a smile again.

Shi Guyuan poured mineral water into the glass as if he was looking for something to do. His eyes were focused on the water flow, and he would ignore the torment of the atmosphere.

At this moment, Shi Guyuan's cell phone rang at the right time; Chi Yu breathed a sigh of relief, and when he raised his eyes, Shi Guyuan had already walked outside the door to answer it.

Shi Guyuan answered in a hurry, without seeming to notice, after saying "Hello", there was no response from the other side.Shi Guyuan was a little strange, and said "Hello" twice before the other party replied feebly: "Where are you?"

It was Zheng Zhichu, but right now he was like a kitten that lost its nails, drooping and dying.

Shi Guyuan said, "I'm outside," he lit a cigarette, and asked indistinctly in the smoke, "...what's wrong?"

"Uncomfortable," Zheng Zhichu said in a deep, nasal voice, sniffing his nose, and said impatiently, "What are you doing outside? Why don't you hurry over here? I'm sick!"