when you look at me

"Yuan Yiping!" Chen Shuo's face turned pale, and he looked even more bleak when he was illuminated by the bright green light of the opposite bar.

Yuan Yiping turned around and left, he didn't want to see Chen Shuo again, he thought he couldn't help but do it again.

"Yuan Yiping! Don't run, what do you mean, you--" Chen Shuo strode towards Yuan Yiping and grabbed his arm.

"Shuo Shuo," the fat man standing aside sighed at this moment: "It's okay to let him go, he likes you to death, so you can't do what I told you, take it with you."

"Get out!" Yuan Yiping waved Chen Shuo's hand away fiercely, Chen Shuo clenched it tightly, but Yuan Yiping exerted all his strength, Chen Shuo staggered and almost fell, and let go of his hand.

"Are you looking down on me like that?" Chen Shuo suddenly stopped moving, but there was a slight cry in his voice: "Yuan Yiping, it's been ten years, and you can't forgive me for ten years?"

"What the hell are you?" Yuan Yiping's chest heaved violently: "What are you, let me forgive you——Yuan Yizhi was really blind back then." His fierce eyes pierced Chen Shuo's face, as if quenched Poison sword.

Chen Shuo's voice became rough, and Yuan Yiping knew that this was the reason why he was holding back tears: "...I admit, I liked you a little bit at that time, but I was sincere when I was with Yizhi later. , I didn't lie to him."

"Fuck your mother," Yuan Yizhi scolded without even thinking about it: "How long has it been since Yuan Yizhi died and you went out to make a date? Are those photos and text messages sent to you by the fucking ghost?"

"I--"

"And him," Yuan Yizhi glanced at the fat man: "That night in Changsha, if you hadn't met me, wouldn't you have gone to find a room? Didn't you say that you would go to Shijiazhuang, Zhengzhou to make an appointment? June [-] On that day, my brother’s ten-year death anniversary, you would sweep his tomb during the day and go to have sex at night——Chen Shuo, I don’t care what you want to die, but can you, stay away from me?”

Chen Shuo's lips moved, but he didn't say anything.

On the contrary, the fat man spoke again, with a helpless tone: "This--little brother, you may not know much about our circle, but you can understand that everyone is a man, you said that two gays get together, except for that matter Son, what else can we do? Besides, what era is it now, we also advocate that...sexual liberation, right? Chen Shuo just likes to play a little bit, look, if you two fall in love, then he Surely not, isn’t it, Chen Shuo?”

However, Chen Shuo did not answer.

He cried.

Yuan Yiping clearly saw tears rolling out of his eyes, running down his cheeks, and dripping down on the tip of his chin.

Yuan Yiping didn't know why he was crying, but he only remembered that the last time he saw Chen Shuo crying was when Yuan Yizhi's ashes were taken.He didn't cry when Yuan Yizhi died in the hospital, and he didn't cry when he said goodbye to the body in the funeral home, until Yuan Yizhi was cremated and they removed the ashes.

The staff used tongs to pick out a few off-white bones that had not been burned to ashes, put them into a cloth bag, tightened the seal, and crushed the bones.

This is the ashes.

Yuan Yiping, who was in a daze the whole time, found Chen Shuo's shoulders shaking at this moment.

It was as if a dagger was frantically pounding back and forth on his chest, and his whole body was trembling along with the dagger.

Chen Shuo was crying, from suppressed sobbing to hoarse crying.Yuan Yiping watched him put his face on the cold urn, tears dripping down the corners of the urn to the ground.

"Yuan Yiping," Chen Shuo's voice interrupted Yuan Yiping's memory: "If you are willing to be with me, I can change all these. Really, I only want you...I really like you..."

"What about Yuan Yizhi? What do you think of Yuan Yizhi?" Yuan Yiping suddenly felt tired. In this bustling bar street, he and Chen Shuo were tearing up the past ten years ago. Is it interesting?

Yuan Yizhi has been dead for ten years, he is dead—dead forever—so he is a knot that can never be untied, a hurdle that can never be overcome, he stands between Yuan Yiping and Chen Shuo.forever.

"I'm not sorry for Yuan Yizhi," Chen Shuo said word by word: "At that time, he left, and I didn't know what to do... You don't understand my feelings, Yuan Yiping, do you know? He was diagnosed The day before, he was still discussing with me to go to Weihai to play, and then he..."

Before Chen Shuo finished speaking, he lowered his head and wiped away his tears.