lemon balm

Every night, when I drag my tired body back to the dilapidated house, I understand why life is called hardship.The money from part-time job can meet the daily expenses, but I eat green vegetables, noodles and rice every day, which makes me feel a little bit frustrated.Thinking of my mother propping up a family by herself, wearing a cheongsam and being busy every day, and cooking all kinds of meat during the Chinese New Year, my weak body softened a little bit, as if something in my heart was softened by the salary and livelihood It turned into a huge bubble in my heart, and it burst at this moment.

However, this little bit of beauty cannot stop the tide of the times, or people's desires and evils driven by money interests.Lao Xu's shop is about to close, I don't know what the reason is, maybe it's the customer who was offended by me, maybe it's Lao Xu's useless son.

On a day not long ago, the air was a little dry, so the smell of the spice factory in the distance was particularly clear.I also clearly remember that the sky was gray, with a little melancholy. I helped my mother to fetch hot water. The doctor said that her condition had improved, which was a good thing, and her steps were very brisk.When I came back, I saw a middle-aged man sitting next to my mother's bed, with a slightly yellow and black face, a little fat, but wearing an elegant suit, meticulous.Seeing that it was three points familiar, he took a second look.

"Call uncle."

"Oh, hello, Uncle." He called faintly, presumably it was that one.It's just that I haven't seen you for many years, why did I meet you today.

"You rest, I'm leaving first." He smiled slightly.

"Go and deliver."

I went to the door with him, he smiled at me, gave me an envelope, I did not refuse, he smiled again.

I thought it was just over here, but I didn't expect that there would be other changes on this day.After coming out of the hospital, he hurried to Lao Xu's, almost being late.Looking at the large glass doors and windows outside the door, it is bright and glamorous.Especially those small warm-colored lamps placed in the cracks seem very ambiguous.The delicate leather sofa makes people feel a sense of crisis, and there are occasional hairs on it, which may be on the clothes of some expensive wife, or their pets, but it cannot be human.Above the head is a huge lamp, exuding baroque delicacy and vanity, facing a carpet under the lamp, which looks like a painting, a beautiful long-haired girl is dancing on the grassland.

It's just that I can't understand why the most difficult-to-wash wool carpets should be laid in the places with the most people.Guests will never take off their shoes as soon as they enter the door, that would be too disrespectful, and the face of these people is more important than anything else.Just thinking about it, I heard "Hello, welcome!"

Before I could react, I realized that I had to serve her when I heard "You, come here!"

I had no choice but to help her walk to the side of the sofa, she sat down straight away, took off her shoes, "Go to the store with white lights across the way and help me buy another pair of the same pair." She really took off her shoes.

Walking into this store, it is not too big, and there are not too many shoes in the store. There are only a few series in total, and I quickly found the same shoes.But, what's the point of buying the same shoes?Since the previous one broke, why buy another pair that is also easy to break.Soon, I found that I didn't have enough money, so I had to go back.

Five minutes later, I walked back with my heavy shoebox in my arms, sweating all over my body, and finally took a breath.But when the pair of slender high-heeled shoes were taken out of the box, the young and fashionable woman's face was not very good-looking, so I raised my heart again.

"Not this pair." Sure enough, I knew it.At the same time, she yelled, and there was a piercing sound between her red lips opening.

"Isn't it?"

"Look for yourself." Under the mild and bright natural light, there are indeed some subtle differences between the two pairs of shoes, except that her pair has a few more rhinestones.etc.

"There are real diamonds on my pair..." Sure enough, I knew it.Seeing her willow eyebrows stand upright, her smoky makeup is almost gone, I want to laugh a little.

After repeated confirmation, I walked into the store again with two pairs of shoes and a black bank card. After 2 minutes, I watched the young customer in a pleated tricolor chiffon dress chirping and screaming, and I had to look at her and say, "They won't refund them, saying that the shoes are on sale. Don't you believe it?" You can go back by yourself."

Then she came back, insisted on having the manager come, complained about me, and went to the spa in full view.Her bright eyes were like ice skates, and I shivered from being slaughtered.In all fairness, this is a beauty.The palm-sized melon-seeded face, almond-shaped eyes and willow eyebrows, and delicate makeup make her look even more unconventional.It's just that these don't affect my bad impression of her.

I heard that she was very dissatisfied when she learned that I was not fired, and threatened to stop the store from opening. I don't know if this is the reason why Lao Xu's business can't continue.Others said that Lao Xu's son was a worthless man, he did what he should and shouldn't do, and he did everything illegal and indisciplined, all because of Lao Xu's wealth.Old Xu bought the store to settle a debt his son recently incurred. It seemed that he owed money from gambling.In short, this store is not open anymore.

Simply Lao Xu gave me a lot of breakup fees, enough for me to find my next job.It is a pity that in today's highly civilized society, it is not easy for a minor who has not graduated from high school to find a job.After being busy for half a month, I finally found a job as a waiter in a late night bar.

This is a bar with not too many people, but it is still brightly lit.Unlike beauty parlors, the people here are mostly young men, and there are very few girls.Most of the noble ladies during the day are full of sorrow, but here is full of youthful joy, and people's faces look extraordinarily beautiful under the colorful lights.Helping them serve drinks, occasionally there will be a lot of tips from generous guests. Of course, the bar is chaotic, but you can't get angry, and you have to laugh.At first I was not used to it, but nothing is more important than survival.

Now I think of the scene when my mother was wearing a long skirt and looking back slowly under the shade of the tree. It was as beautiful and short as fireworks blooming, and she was suffering great pain.However, no matter how painful it is, people always hope to live, and live desperately, but once they are happy and at ease, they will find that living is not very meaningful.In this way, people are contradictory and ridiculous.At this moment, I am undoubtedly living in great pain.

Mother's body was getting better, but it happened that the sun was shining brightly, warm and genial.The mother insisted on asking the nurse to push her out to take a look, saying that she hadn't seen the sun for several months, and she wanted to dry off the moldy smell on her body.This sun exposure didn't matter, the nurse didn't know what to do and walked away, and the mother herself was exposed to the wind outside, which suddenly became more serious, and half of her body was stiff and unable to move.Several tubes were inserted into his body, and the veins in his neck were exposed, but he smiled and said, "Many things in this life have been wrong. It was wrong to marry your father. It was wrong to go home back then. The only good thing is having you." Said Come on, shed a drop of cold tears, and then smiled again.

Blessings never come singly, misfortunes never come singly, and the business of the bar is not very prosperous.The weather is getting colder, and fewer and fewer people come to bars. After all, not so many people like to go out in cold weather.Looking at the few people, the boss would sigh sadly from time to time, and then dragged his slightly fat body up and down, his eyes rolling around, like a vigilant mouse.There are few customers, so the tips will naturally not be much, and it is very boring to lean on the counter every day and watch a few people who are drunk.

Today, the sky is extremely cold and gray.Looking at the sparse guests, I held my head helplessly. If there are fewer people, the wages will be lower, but these people still don't leave, which means that they can't get off work.A few people had no choice but to wait and wait, hesitating, and saw a somewhat familiar figure.He Sheng, mother's first love, it's a bit embarrassing to say that, but it's true.I walked over and said, "Are you drinking here alone?"

He was startled, smiled, "Why are you here?" and then took another sip.

"The money here is more competitive." I smiled awkwardly and pointed.

"Will you drink? Have a drink." He handed over a glass of wine, "How is your mother? I haven't visited her recently."

"It was about to get better, but something happened and it got serious again." The wine was slightly bitter.

"Maybe you don't earn enough, right?" He seemed to have drunk too much, his face was flushed, and he smiled inexplicably.

"That's right, the houses are all sold. If things go on like this, the only thing I can do is sell myself." I smiled and said my words.

"You and your mother look alike." He looked at me as if looking through me. "send you home."

When I went out, it was raining and cold outside.He really enjoyed it, there was actually a driver waiting in the car, and the warmth in the car made one feel dizzy.Only when I arrived at the long-lost old neighborhood, my small dilapidated house, did I feel familiar.Money is so depraved, when will we stop worrying about money?The musty smell from the walls in the small room reassures me.

Everything is someone else's, whether it's laughter or success.Thinking drowsily, fell asleep drowsily.