[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

Xu Xian was almost pissed off by Fa Hai and Bai Suzhen. After living for so long, his mind is only as big as the tip of a needle.It's all a long time ago, because of such a small matter, they would fight as soon as they met, and they didn't look at the occasion, I don't know what they were thinking.

Xu Xian and Erlang Shen picked up the child and sent her home.Xu Xian made up his mind that in the future, as long as it was about Bai Suzhen and Fa Hai, he would not care about it. Whoever cares about it is a puppy!

After returning home and sleeping peacefully all night, Xu Xian got up early the next morning and started making fried stinky tofu.Xu Jiaorong was pregnant, her taste became more and more strange, at first it was quite normal, she liked sour food, later she wanted to eat salty and sweet food, now she changes every day.Last night, he entrusted Xu Xian to be sure to see fried stinky tofu on the breakfast table.

Xu Jiaorong wanted to eat stinky tofu, but Erlangshen didn't want to eat it.Xu Xian specially cooked porridge, steamed a few pancakes, and wrapped them with refreshing bean sprouts and shredded carrots.

After Xu Jiaorong woke up, seeing the fried stinky tofu, she immediately laughed contentedly.

"It's better to have Chinese at home, and you can make whatever you want to eat."

Li Gongfu said: "The food you eat is too strange! Who eats this greasy and smelly food in the morning?"

Xu Jiaorong raised her chin, "You don't have to eat it if you don't like it! This is made by Hanwen for me, not for you. Hanwen, you don't know! During the days when you were not at home, I felt sick every day, and I couldn't eat it at all. I don’t have the strength to cook. Guess what your brother-in-law cooks for me? Three meals a day are all noodles, and they are still boiled in water! In those days, I ate all the noodles in my life. Since then, I have never seen noodles. nausea."

Li Gongfu served a bowl of porridge to his daughter-in-law, "You eat noodles, don't I also eat noodles? Besides, you said that smelling oil makes you feel uncomfortable, so I didn't add oil!"

"I don't eat oil, how can the child in my stomach have oily water? Do you want the child to have a noodle face in the future?"

Li Gongfu: "I'm not, I don't!"

Xu Xian picked up a burrito for Li Gongfu, "Brother-in-law, stop arguing. Everything my sister says is right now!"

Li Gongfu snorted, "Forget it, I don't care about women!"

Xu Jiaorong glared at him, stretched out her leg and kicked him.

Just as Xu Jiaorong and Li Gongfu were quarreling, there was a knock on the door suddenly.

Xu Xian put down his chopsticks, "I'll go and open the door."

Opening the door and seeing the people outside, Xu Xian asked in surprise, "Xiaoqing! Why are you here?"

Xiaoqing pouted, with a gloomy expression on her face, "Sister sent me to deliver something to you..."

"You haven't had breakfast yet, have you? Come in and have something to eat first."

Xu Xian asked Xiaoqing to sit down, served her porridge and added a pair of chopsticks.

Xu Jiaorong warmly invited Xiaoqing to eat stinky tofu: "Miss Qing, try our Chinese handicraft. This fried stinky tofu is very delicious!"

Xiaoqing waved her hands and rejected Xu Jiaorong's food, she stirred the porridge in the bowl with a spoon, looking depressed.

Li Gongfu asked: "Miss Qing, what are you here to deliver so early?"

Xiaoqing took out a bright red invitation card from her sleeve pocket, "My sister is getting married to Fa Hai, let me send the invitation card."

Xu Xian is eating porridge!Hearing Xiaoqing's words, all the porridge in his mouth sprayed on Erlangshen's clothes.

Not caring about wiping Erlang God's clothes, Xu Xian asked Xiaoqing with his eyes wide open, "Who do you think is marrying whom?"

Xiaoqing said angrily: "My sister and Fahai! It's all your fault for your bad idea. They discussed it behind my back last night. This morning my sister gave me the invitation card. Let me send you invitations and invite you to watch the ceremony."

Li Gongfu was a little confused, "Fahai... is Zen Master Fahai from Jinshan Temple?"

Xiaoqing nodded again and again, "Yes! That's him!"

"Oh my god! That monk actually returned to vulgarity and married a wife. This is really..." Li Gongfu didn't know how to describe it.

Xu Jiaorong was a little reluctant, "Miss Qing, Fahai once captured the Chinese characters in Jinshan Temple, I am not very willing to go to watch the ceremony. I have a few words to say, Miss Qing, don't think I'm too talkative. Good job, Miss Bai Good-looking, good character, she is a gentle and virtuous woman. Why did she fall in love with Fa Hai? I heard that Fa Hai is over 70 years old and was a monk before. Marriage is a lifelong event, so you must be careful when choosing a husband. !"

Xiaoqing immediately took Xu Jiaorong's hand, "Sister Jiaorong really spoke to my heart! Age doesn't matter (sister is older than Fa Hai anyway), but it's hard to get married once, so you have to choose a good one Sir? In my opinion, sister might as well marry Xu Xian!"

Xu Jiaorong withdrew her hand, Bai Suzhen is a snake demon, she didn't really want her brother to marry a snake.Xu Xian rolled his eyes at Xiaoqing, I've already turned the eighteenth bend of the mountain road, who wants to go straight back!

Erlang Shen snorted coldly, "The invitation has been delivered, you should go."

Xiaoqing was a little afraid of Erlang God, she shrank her neck, "I should go... that... My sister told Fa Hai that in order to repay Xu Xian and express her apology to Xu Xian, they will continue to stay in the village after they get married. Your family is a long-term worker. You don’t need to manage the land on the outskirts of the city, they will take good care of it.”

Xu Xian sighed, "Understood, as long as they are willing to stay." He turned his head and asked Erlang Shen, "Do you want to go to watch the ceremony?"

Erlang Shen nodded, "Go and have a look! In case they cause trouble again."

"Okay!" Xu Xian really felt that Fa Hai and Bai Suzhen were troublesome, and the Seventh Princess was easier to serve than the two of them, so she was asked to raise pigs.But a mortal and a goblin, with a temper greater than a princess in the sky.

Xu Xian gave Xiaoqing a clear answer, "You go back first! When Miss Bai gets married, we will definitely go."

Xiaoqing left after getting the right words.Three days later was the day when Bai Suzhen and Fa Hai got married. Xu Xian and his family put on brightly colored silk and satin clothes, and went to the thatched hut by the paddy field on the outskirts of the city with gifts.

Getting out of the carriage, Xu Jiaorong leaned on her waist and pointed to the thatched cottage and said, "Tsk tsk tsk, I really don't understand why Miss Bai married Fa Hai. Look at this dilapidated house, how can this be a new house?" ?”

Xu Xian said: "Sister, you should be quiet! This is a dilapidated house arranged by our family for the long-term worker. If you talk about it again, they will ask to change the house!"

After entering the room, Bai Suzhen warmly invited them to sit down.Xu Xian took a look at the furnishings in the house. The furniture was very simple and unadorned.But the bed nets, bedding, tablecloths and candles are all red, which adds some festive atmosphere to the room.

Fa Hai still had a cold look. Seeing Xu Xian and the others coming, he just bowed his hands and saluted from a distance, and didn't come over to greet him.Today he took off his monk's robe and wore a red dress with a big red flower on his chest, he looked like a bridegroom official.

Fa Hai and Bai Suzhen didn't know many ordinary people well, and only Xu Xian and his family came to watch the ceremony.Xiaoqing changed out of her cyan clothes, and changed into a scarlet gauze dress, acting as the bridesmaid.

"The auspicious time has come, let's worship heaven and earth!"

Bai Suzhen and Fa Hai bowed to the front.

"Two thanks to the high hall!"

Bai Suzhen and the others were not high-minded, they still bowed to the front.

"Bye husband and wife!"

Bai Suzhen and Fa Hai turned around and bowed to each other.Their heads banged together because they were so close.

"Hiss!" Bai Suzhen lifted her hijab and rubbed her forehead, "Fahai! Did you do it on purpose?"

"The poor monk didn't do it on purpose. It hurts when you kowtow to the head, and the poor monk also hurts when you kowtow to the head."

Bai Suzhen threw the hijab on the ground, "Fahai, I advise you not to be ignorant of good and evil! I just wanted to settle the grievances between you and me as soon as possible, so I agreed to marry you! If you are not willing, you shouldn't have promised me yesterday." Who are you showing your ugly face today?"

Fa Hai said numbly: "I've always been like this, Bai Suzhen, please stop messing around."

Xu Xian sighed, and whispered to Erlang Shen: "Man! What a duplicity! I clearly remember that he used to not only like to laugh, but also like to eat small wontons stuffed with vegetables. Just watch! If he doesn't tell the truth, he will be beaten soon! "

Sure enough, Bai Suzhen stretched out her tender little hand, and slapped Fa Hai's bald head, and Fa Hai immediately fought her.

The wedding scene turned into a scene of domestic violence. Xu Jiaorong stood up with her stomach straight and persuaded: "Miss Bai, stop fighting. On the day of great joy, don't fight over trivial matters! This... this couple pays respects to each other." Kowtow to the head is auspicious meaning, which means that in the future... uh... life will be prosperous in the future, and there will be no stumbling. Oops! Don't hit me!"

Xu Xian supported Xu Jiaorong's arm, "Sister, let's go back first! Their husband and wife are fighting, don't hurt us."

Li Gongfu asked: "If they continue to fight like this, nothing will happen, right?"

Xu Xian shook his head, "It's love if it's love, the more you beat it, the better your relationship will be, so just leave it alone."

Xu Xian and Li Gongfu supported Xu Jiaorong into the carriage, Erlang Shen had just walked out of the thatched hut when Xiaoqing chased him out.She asked pitifully: "Mr. Yang, can I go with you? I don't want to stay here and watch them fight..."

Erlang Shen nodded coldly, "Follow me!"

In this way, the wedding banquet was not eaten, and the family brought back a little green snake when they returned.

Xiaoqing stayed at Xu Xian's house. After a few days, Xu Xian reckoned that it was time for the autumn harvest, so he took Erlangshen and Xiaoqing to the paddy field in the suburbs.

When he came to the edge of his paddy field, Xu Xian stood on the ridge of the field silently.

The rice in the paddy field was poured on the ground in all directions, and the water in the field had not been drained, and the heavy ears of grain were soaked in water.Xu Xian looked around, and as long as he could see the fields, the rice was basically soaked in water.

Xu Xian looked at the paddy field quietly, Xiao Qing said cautiously: "Xu Xian... I'm sorry... I will find a way to compensate you for the damaged crops."

Xu Xian shook his head, "No, it has nothing to do with you."

He turned his head and looked at Erlangshen, "Haney, can you lend me your Xiaotian dog? Bai Suzhen and Fahai have released the irritable little monster that I kept in the depths of my heart."