[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

In the evening, when Li Gongfu came back from the yamen, he yelled as soon as he entered the door: "How is Hanwen? I heard that Hanwen was injured. What's going on?"

Xu Xian said pitifully, "Brother-in-law, I'm sorry, I'm just pretending, I'm fine."

Li Gongfu punched him, "You child, why are you so uneasy? I heard on the way back that something happened to you, which made me anxious."

Xu Xian apologized honestly, "I'm sorry, brother-in-law. I was afraid that the neighbors would pester me to do this or that in the future, so I lied to them."

Xu Jiaorong handed the hot towel to Li Gongfu, "Yes! You saved a lot of trouble, but you almost made our hearts jump out of fright." She said to Li Gongfu, "You don't know, he came back in the afternoon At that time, my whole body was covered in blood and my face was pale, even though I had greeted me in advance, it still frightened me so that my hands and feet were cold."

"It's covered in blood? Han Wen, what the hell have you been doing?"

Xu Xian said innocently, "I just caught a demon."

Li Gongfu clutched his chest, "You are going to hunt monsters again, how dangerous it is to catch monsters! Don't dare to do anything just because you have some skills!"

Xu Xian obediently admitted his mistake, "Brother-in-law, I was wrong, I won't dare next time."

Xu Jiaorong said to Li Gongfu: "Okay, let's eat first! I will train him after eating!"

When the dinner was served, there were no bowls and chopsticks in front of Xu Xian. Li Gongfu felt strange, "My lady, why don't you bring the bowls and chopsticks for Han Wen?"

Erlang Shen said: "Brother-in-law, I think Xu Xian has practiced well, and now he can catch monsters by himself. So I added a course to him, and he will start learning bigu from today."

Li Gongfu was a little worried, "Bigu...isn't Bigu just not eating? Will Hanwen starve to death!"

Erlang God smiled, "No, practitioners can absorb the aura of heaven and earth, the essence of the sun and the moon. After getting rid of the reincarnation of the five grains, he will not be hungry. He has just started bigu, and I will not be too strict. He He can still have breakfast, and when he gets used to it, his appetite will gradually decrease, and finally he won’t eat anything.”

Li Gongfu suddenly realized, "What's the matter! Chinese! You have to learn bigu from Mr. Yang. Not only can you improve your cultivation, but you can also save food for your family! Hahahahaha!"

Xu Jiaorong put a piece of meat into his bowl, "Hurry up and eat yours! Tomorrow we will all learn bigu, no one in the family will have to eat, and it will save food!"

Xu Xian slumped his back and watched helplessly as they ate up all the food. He felt so painful in his heart!It hurts so bad I can't breathe...

Bai Suzhen and Xiaoqing helped Xu Jiaorong clean up the dining table, Erlang God leaned into Xu Xian's ear and said, "Don't look into the kitchen, sister's meal is just right, everyone ate it up, this time there is no vegetable soup gone."

Xu Xian narrowed his eyes, pointed at his nose and whispered, "You are a bad person!"

After the meal, we chatted for a while with the parents, and it was getting dark, so everyone went back to their rooms to sleep.

Erlangshen shared the room with Xu Xian as before, and when he entered the room, Xu Xian dug out the quilt and mattress from the cabinet and spread them on the floor.

Erlang Shen asked: "What are you doing? Are you going to sleep on the ground?"

Xu Xian tilted his head and said, "This is my house, why should I sleep on the floor! Tonight! You sleep on the floor!"

"...you're so angry if you don't let you eat?"

"Yes! Very angry!" Xu Xian threw himself on the bed and put down the bed curtain, "Enjoy the love floor I made for you! I put a lot of love inside, you will like it."

"Are you going to sleep now?" Erlang Shen asked.

"Yes! I'm going to sleep! You are not allowed to climb into bed at night, or you will be kicked out of the house tomorrow!"

Erlang Shen asked coolly, "You went to bed before washing?"

Xu Xian seemed to be tucked into the quilt, and said in a muffled voice, "I didn't even eat dinner, so why brush my teeth or wash my face?"

Erlang Shen sighed, blew out the lamp, lifted the quilt on the ground and lay down.Xu Xian secretly lifted the bed curtain and saw Erlang Shen with his legs curled up, feeling that he had been greatly wronged.

Wrinkling his nose, Xu Xian covered himself in the quilt.You can't be soft-hearted and don't let me eat, it's no different from domestic violence!It must be firmly resisted, otherwise he will use this trick against me next time.

Xu Xian fell asleep in a daze with the quilt covered, and had no dreams all night.

Early the next morning, when he heard the rooster crowing, Xu Xian woke up rubbing his eyes.As soon as he opened his eyes, he saw Erlang's sleeping face. Xu Xian raised the corner of his mouth and rubbed his arms around Erlang's neck.Kojiro is so pretty!

I rubbed it twice and felt something was wrong. Didn't I drive him to make the floor last night?Why are they sleeping together again?

Xu Xian sat up and shook Erlangshen awake, "Don't pretend to be asleep! Tell me! Why did we sleep together again?"

Erlang Shen turned sideways and raised his chin and said, "I slept until midnight last night, and you got into my quilt by yourself."

"Nonsense! I can be honest when I sleep! I find that your skin is getting thicker and thicker now, and you are no longer that innocent and unaffected boy!"

Erlang said innocently: "Maybe it's because I've been with you for too long! Your thick skin has infected me."

Xu Xian snorted coldly, lifted the quilt to get dressed, "Don't frame me, I have a thin skin!"

Xu Xian fell in love with himself several times a day, but Erlang Shen didn't take it seriously, he asked, "Why did you get up so early today?"

"There is only one meal in a good day, so this meal is extremely precious. I am going to help my sister make breakfast. Good-bye, friend."

Erlang shook his head, covered himself with the quilt and continued to sleep.It's too bad, being led by Xu Xian, now I'm more lazy than before.

Xu Jiaorong washed her hands, rolled up her sleeves and went into the kitchen.

"Han Wen, I woke up so early today."

Xu Xian smiled obediently and cleverly: "Sister does housework very hard. I pretended to be recuperating for the past few days, so I can help my sister with work."

How could Xu Jiaorong not know the virtues of her younger brother?She smiled and asked, "I think you are pretending to be cute to calm me down."

There were golden omelets spread out in the pan, Xu Xian picked out one after frying, poured egg liquid on it and fried the next one.Before the egg liquid was solidified, Xu Xian quickly brushed the sauce on the last omelette, spread green vegetables and sliced ​​meat, then sprinkled green onion, coriander and diced pickles, and finally rolled the omelet and put it on a plate aside .

Xu Jiaorong smiled and said: "My Chinese is really good. I can read and write, spell magic, and I can cook! Hey? Why do you spread so many omelets? Our family only has six mouths, so how can we eat so much? ah?"

On the table next to the stove, there were three plates lined up, each with ten omelettes.There is still a lot of egg liquid in the basin by Xu Xian's hand, and it is estimated that he can fry two plates of omelets.

Xu Xian looked at the white porcelain plates lined up in a row, grinned and said, "I can't eat at noon and night, so I'll eat more in the morning."

Xu Jiaorong said dissatisfiedly: "You are not here to help me with work, you are afraid that I do too little and starve you!"

Seen through by Xu Jiaorong, Xu Xian rubbed his nose and smiled embarrassedly: "Hey, sister, don't expose me for some things!"

Everyone in the family got up one after another, Bai Suzhen and Xiaoqing also got up very early, but Xu Xian didn't expect to get up earlier.They wanted to help Xu Xian, but Xu Xian kicked them out, "It will be over soon, you just set up the table and wait to eat."

Bai Suzhen and Xiaoqing put the egg rolls on the table, served porridge for everyone, and put a few stacks of small pickles in the middle of the table.

Li Gongfu had just finished washing his face. He pointed to the large plates of egg rolls on the table and said, "How do you make so many? You can use the leftovers to set up an early stall!"

Bai Suzhen and Xiaoqing looked at each other in blank dismay, if they could eat, these few plates of egg rolls were just appetizers!

Everyone sat around the dining table, and Xu Xian devoutly picked up an egg roll, looking at it with gentler eyes than Erlang Shen.

After taking a bite, Xu Xian narrowed his eyes happily and ate, so happy!

Erlangshen thought it was funny, and put two more egg rolls on his plate, which means eat slowly, no one will grab you.

Xu Xian opened his mouth and took bites one after another. Li Gongfu had just eaten half of an omelet, and Xu Xian had already eaten one omelette, and was now eating the second omelette!

Erlangshen said: "Eat slowly, eat so fast, be careful that your stomach will hurt after a while."

Xu Xian said vaguely: "I'm storing food! I can spit it out and chew it when you eat at noon and night!"

Everyone: "..."

Li Gongfu took a deep breath, "Mr. Yang, don't make the Chinese literature bigu, right? Chewing or something... a bit disgusting."

Erlang frowned, "Xu Xian, if you do this again, don't eat tomorrow's breakfast."

Xu Xian took a bite of the omelette viciously, "Hmph!"

The atmosphere between Xu Xian and Mr. Yang was somewhat delicate. Li Gongfu drank up the porridge in the bowl, "I...I'm going to the Yamen first, you guys eat slowly."

As soon as he opened the door, a large group of people rushed in from the door.

When Xu Jiaorong saw that the people who barged in were all neighbors, her heart immediately rose to her throat.Yesterday I pretended to be injured, and this morning I ate two egg rolls in one go. If the neighbors saw this, it would be fine.

As soon as Xu Jiaorong turned her head, she saw Xu Xian lying on the recliner, Bai Suzhen standing on the left holding a pickle bowl, Xiao Qing standing on the right holding an omelette plate, and Mr. Yang sitting on the edge of the reclining chair, holding a porridge bowl in his hand , Feed Xu Xian bit by bit!

She breathed a sigh of relief, and rubbed her eyes hard twice to make them red.

Regardless of how fat Aunt Wang is, she was the first to squeeze into the room.She was holding a basket in her hand with a lot of eggs in it.Those who followed her in were all those who watched yesterday.

Aunt Wang said embarrassingly: "Miss Xu, I'm really sorry to disturb you so early in the morning. We saw that Mrs. Li was going out, so we thought your family had finished breakfast!"

Xu Jiaorong asked: "Auntie, neighbors, have you been waiting outside for a long time? What's the matter here so early?"

Aunt Wang said embarrassingly, "Jiao Rong! I came here today, one is to see Mr. Xu, and the other... We want to ask Mr. Xu, can you conjure some magic water for us?"

This time Xu Jiaorong understood why Xu Xian pretended to be sick.What's wrong with these people?If you are sick and don't go to see a doctor, what kind of magic water do you want?

Xu Jiaorong wiped away her tears, "Ma'am, it's not that Hanwen refuses to help you, it's just that he's hurt like this now, he really has no power to do it!"

Aunt Wang looked into the room, Xu Xian's face was pale, his lips were bloodless, and he was panting for a long time even after swallowing a mouthful of porridge.

Someone asked in a low voice from behind: "Xu Xianggong can't change, so can his master change a little bit?"

Xiaoqing put down the plate containing the egg rolls, ran over angrily and said, "Do you have any conscience! Mr. Xu has been injured like this, you don't care if he lives or dies, you know what magic water you want! Let me tell you, in case There is no spiritual water, and there is no panacea!"

Bai Suzhen tugged at Xiaoqing's sleeve, "Xiaoqing, you are so rude!" She squatted down and said in a good voice, "Everyone, it's not that the husband is unwilling to save everyone, it's because he is also powerless. Everyone, my husband lost all his mana yesterday in order to save Mr. Xu’s life, and even his hair turned white. Now he doesn’t want to see people, because his mana is gone, and his face has become old overnight. Alas! It is unbearable for the disciple who is highly valued to become like this, and the soreness in the master's heart is unbearable, I am afraid that we people will not understand even one ten-thousandth of it."

Aunt Wang and others apologized, "Miss Xu, we really didn't expect that! I'm really sorry."

Xu Jiaorong wiped away her tears, "It's nothing, I can only blame Han Wen's bad fate..."

The people who came to the house put down their gifts and were about to leave. Xu Xian stretched out his hand with great difficulty, opened his mouth and said a few words.Erlang Shen relayed: "The raw medicine shop at the entrance of Heizhu Alley should be able to cure your illnesses, you go and try it!"

This is really a bright future, Xu Xian pointed out a bright way for them, and everyone left gratefully, scrambling to the entrance of the alley.

Xu Jiaorong closed the courtyard door, turned around and looked at the gifts brought by others, "Aunt Wang is indeed the most stingy, others brought eggs, and put a little money in them, only she brought eggs."

Xu Xian sat up from the couch, picked up the egg roll beside him and continued to eat, "Sister! You think it's cheap! You can receive so many eggs from Mrs. Wang's house, you can be said to be No. 1 in Qiantang."

Xu Jiaorong went to the kitchen with the basket on her shoulders, "As long as you are good and don't let me be frightened, I don't care for her eggs!"

Bai Suzhen and Xiaoqing helped Xu Jiaorong carry the things to the kitchen and put them away, Xu Xian left Erlang Shen behind and ran over to chat with Bai Suzhen.

"Xiaobai! Since yesterday, I have taught you a lot by precept and deed. Come and tell me, through yesterday and today, what principles have you learned?"

Bai Suzhen pointed to herself, "Me? Xiaobai?"

"Yes! My younger sister is Xiaoqing, and my older sister is Xiaobai. Answer the question quickly, what principles have you learned, or tell me the meaning of my pretending to be hurt."

Bai Suzhen didn't bother with the address anymore, she lowered her head and thought for a while, "You pretended to be sick yesterday, first of all to avoid the entanglement of acquaintances. You have expected that they will ask you for magic water, and they all live in the same place. If you It's unreasonable to refuse firmly. Second, if I remember correctly, the pharmacy at the entrance of Heizhu Lane was opened by your cousin. You rejected acquaintances, but you can introduce patients to your cousin, that Gu worm It’s easy to cure, and mortals should be able to cure it too. If you have something good to make money, of course you should introduce it to your relatives, right? I’ve guessed these two points now, and the others... please ask Mr. Xu to advise.”

Xu Jiaorong put all the eggs into the rice bowl, so many eggs can't be eaten at once, and they tend to become empty, so it won't work if you put them in the grain.While working, she said, "Suzhen! What do you ask him for advice? You might as well ask me! Let me tell you, he is just trying to avoid laziness. If everyone in Qiantang County knows that he is capable, wouldn't he I have to bother him every day, and he wished he could sleep until the sun rises every day, so he doesn't want to deal with those people's trivial matters!"

Xu Xian laughed: "As expected of my sister, she is smart!" He turned his head and said seriously to Bai Suzhen, "You guessed everything right, and my sister was right too. But you didn't understand the most important reason, there are many mortals They are all ungrateful and only know how to ask. I helped them yesterday, and they just came here, just in the name of caring about me. In fact, they came to ask me for help. If you agree once, their requests will become more and more endless. Do you understand?"

Bai Suzhen lowered her head in thought, Xiaoqing was still a little confused, she asked: "So mortals are so scary?"

"Everything that exists in the world has its reason. Have you ever heard of a giant tree being shaken? It's not that you have strong mana and strong fists that can defeat everything in the world. Don't underestimate ordinary people, and don't underestimate the ability to climb up and down the ground. Ants to go. You have cultivated really well, but you still have to rely on your brains to do things."

After saying this, Xu Xian strolled back to the bedroom.Erlang Shen sat at the table and asked, "Have you finished class?"

"It's over, I don't care how much they can understand."

Sitting next to Erlang God, Xu Xian put his arms around Erlang God's neck, "Don't be unhappy, I haven't disappeared."

"When Bai Suzhen becomes a fairy, it's time for you to leave."

Xu Xian smiled, "I understand you, I know you're not jealous, you just want to stay with me for a while longer. But since something is up, we can't turn a blind eye. What if I die and the world starts over again? What should we do again? Are we going to live in an infinitely looping world? Or, if I do nothing, the Three Realms will be in chaos, so what should I do?"

God Erlang pinched his face, "Who do you think you are? Pangu who created the world?"

Xu Xian brightened his eyes and said, "Who am I, you ask? I am a real man. I never fear or hide from trouble! A real man has nothing to say, just roll up your sleeves and do it!"