[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

Xu Xian was persuaded by Erlang God. He thought he could speak well, but he also thought he was a considerate companion. What could he do with Erlang God, a little fairy?

In the end, Erlang Shen went to see Fa Hai alone, Xu Xian sent him to the door, and he whispered: "Don't wait too long, come back quickly after giving the thank you gift!"

"Well, is there any more?"

Xu Xian put his hips on his hips and thought for a while, "Also...don't be so stingy in the future. If I can't even meet monks, who else can I meet?"

Erlang Shen rubbed his hair and messed up his bun, "Fa Hai is different, I can feel that even if he does whatever it takes, he will keep you in Jinshan Temple."

"Okay! Okay! I really can't do anything about you, you should go and come back early!"

Erlang Shen turned and left, Xu Xian waved his hand behind.Xu Jiaorong happened to pass by the door, and when she saw Erlang Shen leaving, she couldn't help but ask, "Where are you going, Mr. Yang?"

Xu Xian was talking nonsense, "He went to see his rival."

"Rival in love? Mr. Yang has someone he likes? Why haven't I heard him mention it?"

Xu Xian nodded pretendingly, "His lover used to be a pig farmer, maybe he's too embarrassed to say it?"

Xu Xian strolled back to the house, Xu Jiaorong stood at the door and frowned, "Pig raisers? Can Mr. Yang like pig raisers?"

Sure enough, Erlangshen came back soon, and he even explained to Xu Xian that he just gave Fa Hai some benefits, and didn't say a few words.

In the evening, Li Gongfu went home from the Yamen and bought some ready-made braised pork on the way.As soon as he opened the door, Li Gongfu shouted, "Jiao Rong! Why didn't you lock the door today?"

Xiaoqing greeted her and said coquettishly, "Brother-in-law is good. My sister guessed that you should be back, so she opened the door."

Li Gongfu was taken aback. When will there be an extra woman in the family?Still so pretty!

At this time, Xu Jiaorong and Bai Suzhen came out of the kitchen to serve food, Li Gongfu was shocked again, why is there another one!

Putting down the plates, Bai Suzhen and Xiaoqing greeted formally, "Brother-in-law, my name is Bai Suzhen, and this is my younger sister Xiaoqing. From today onwards, we are the housemaids of the house. If you have any orders, brother-in-law, feel free to tell me."

Li Gongfu nodded blankly, "Ah! Good, good! No need to be too polite, no need to be too polite."

Xu Jiaorong took the braised pork from his hand, "Look at you, your brow is sweating, go wash your face, we're going to eat."

Li Gongfu held her hand and did not let go, "You...you come here and fetch water for me."

Xu Jiaorong said: "You are so old, don't you know how to fetch water? You still need me to accompany you when you wash your face."

Li Gongfu was a little embarrassed, he said this as if he couldn't do without his wife.

Xiaoqing turned her back to snicker, Bai Suzhen took the stewed meat, and gently pushed Xu Jiaorong, "Sister, I'll cut the stewed meat, you go and help brother-in-law wash your face!"

Li Gongfu blushed from embarrassment, returned to the bedroom, Xu Jiaorong filled him with water, put down the washbasin and went to work in the kitchen.Li Gongfu held her back, "Don't go yet!"

"What? You don't want me to wash your face, do you?"

"Go! Who will use you to wash my face? I want to ask you, how come there are two more beautiful maids in the house?"

Xu Jiaorong rolled her eyes, "What? Seeing a beautiful girl, I can't pull my eyes out?"

"What are you talking about! Don't I find it strange? I know you do housework hard. If you want to invite maids, one is enough, right? Why did you invite two at once? They are as beautiful as flowers, Who would believe it if it was a servant girl? If word of this got out, what would the brothers in the yamen and the neighbors think of me? Those who didn’t know would think that I paid two children?”

Xu Jiaorong snorted, "You're still young, you don't feel ashamed to say such things! Let me tell you, those two girls were invited back in Chinese. You should be polite to them and don't really treat them like maids. make!"

Hearing that Xu Xian had invited her back, Li Gongfu felt much more at ease. He took a face cloth and pressed it in the water, rubbed it dry and said, "The maid I found in Chinese? Isn't Chinese not close to women? concubine?"

Xu Jiaorong poked his forehead, "Your brain is full of messy things! Let me tell you clearly, there is nothing between Hanwen and those two girls, you are not allowed to think about it!"

Li Gongfu said: "I don't care about the Chinese language!"

Xu Jiaorong said meaningfully: "That's not right! Your mind is full of things about accepting children... Tell me! Do you want to accept children!"

"No no no! My lady, I dare not!"

Xu Jiaorong nodded, "I'm sorry you don't dare! Wash your face quickly, and come over to eat after washing."

Today's dinner is very rich. On one table, there is a fairy, two monsters, and three mortals. This combination is also unusual.

Li Gongfu was a little dazed looking at the food and drink on the table, Xu Xian whispered, "Brother-in-law, has Ku Yin been found?"

Li Gongfu came back to his senses and said happily: "I found it, I found it! Master Yang even gave us a reward!" He picked up the wine glass, "Come, come, let's toast together and celebrate us!" The case of Ku Yin's disappearance is finally closed!"

Everyone raised their wine glasses, but only Erlang Shen and Li Gongfu's glasses were filled with wine, while the others' glasses were filled with sour plum soup.

After drinking this cup, everyone scooped up soup for dinner, but Li Gongfu suddenly said: "Today, I mentioned to Mr. Yang that I will resign from the position of head arrester."

The soup in Xu Jiaorong's mouth almost choked into her nostrils, she coughed twice and wiped her nose, "What did Master Yang say?"

"Master Yang has already agreed, but I have to hand over the affairs in the yamen before I can leave."

Xu Xian said: "Brother-in-law, after quitting this job, you can rest at home for a while. As for what to do in the future, let's not worry about it."

Li Gongfu said: "I have already thought about it. If I have money at home, it is better to buy some fields and rent them out." He said with a smile, "Me! I will be a landlord, and your sister will be a landlord! Raising pigs, raising chickens, collecting rent. Oh! I don’t know how happy life is!”

Xu Xian smiled and cupped his hands, "Then I will congratulate Li Yuanwai on his fortune in advance!"

Xiaoqing's face changed when she heard this, and she said, "What! You really want to buy land to raise pigs? Hey! Xu Xian, we promised to come over to do long-term work for you, and it's already very cheap for you. Don't let us raise pigs, or I will be with you. You work hard!"

Xu Jiaorong looked at Xu Xian reproachfully, "How can you ask girls to raise pigs for you?"

Xu Xian sighed, "I was just joking, and you all take it seriously. Where do I raise my pigs? How delicious it is to keep them at home!" He said to Bai Suzhen and Xiaoqing, "Don't worry, I won't let you go As swineherds, tomorrow I will take you to cheat and abduct!"

Xu Jiaorong asked with an unfriendly expression: "What?"

"Uh... take them tomorrow... to see a fortune teller."

Xu Jiaorong threatened him, "Being a person and doing things must be on the right path, otherwise I will serve you according to the family law!"

"Yeah! Yeh! You are the head of the family, I will listen to whatever you say!"

Everyone enjoyed the meal in the evening.It was the first time for Xiaoqing and Bai Suzhen to sit at the same table with mortals to eat and chat. They liked this casual and warm atmosphere very much, and the meal lasted until midnight.

Erlangshen slept soundly that night. He didn't need to sleep, but he was always relaxed when he was with Xu Xian. Seeing Xu Xian sleeping soundly, Erlangshen couldn't help but sleep a little longer.

Touching the side, the person under the quilt is gone.Erlangshen woke up and opened his eyes to see that Xu Xian was not in the room.

He stretched out his hand, and the clothes on the chair flew into his hands.After getting dressed, Erlang Shen went to the yard and saw that Xu Xian was preparing some bottles with Bai Suzhen and Xiaoqing.

"Do you want something from the lottery?" Bai Suzhen asked.

"To test the fortune and fortune of others, of course you have to draw a lottery."

Xiaoqing ran over with a piece of white cloth and asked, "How about writing the sign like this?"

Xu Xian looked at it, "It's okay, but the words are too ugly."

Xiaoqing said dissatisfiedly: "I hate my ugly handwriting, if you have the ability, please write one and show me."

How could such a thing as writing stump the society, Brother Xu?

Xu Xian smiled sternly, stretched out his hand and brushed it, and the ink stains on the white cloth disappeared.He picked up the brush and dipped it in the ink, and wrote four large characters on the white cloth with his hands.These four characters are written with iron strokes and silver hooks, flowing like clouds and flowing water.

Erlang Shen said: "Your handwriting is getting better and better, and your handwriting is like a person."

Xu Xian smiled foolishly: "That's right! That's right! I'm so graceful, unrestrained and casual, so my words follow me too!"

Bai Suzhen: "..."

Xiaoqing: "..." There are such brazen people in the world!

Putting the tables, chairs, benches and a bunch of bottles and cans into the Qiankun bag, Xu Xian took Bai Suzhen and Xiaoqing to the intersection of Heizhu Lane.Erlangshen had roughly guessed what Xu Xian was going to do, so he stayed at home and didn't follow him out.

The pharmacy at the corner of Heizhu Lane was opened by Li Gongfu's cousin.Xu Xian greeted his cousin and set up a stall in front of his shop.

He took out the tables, chairs and benches from the Qiankun bag, hung up the signboard, and Xu Xian sat on the chair with a straight back, reading a book in his hand.

Bai Suzhen and Xiaoqing pretended to be servants and stood behind him.

Xiaoqing moved her lips and asked in a low voice, "Hey! Xu Xian, why don't you yell twice? How can someone come to you for a fortune telling you if you stay so quietly and ignore others?"

Xu Xian looked at the book and said casually: "First, fortune-telling depends on fate. For example, just now, when I took things out of the Qiankun bag, did the tables, chairs and signboards appear out of thin air? I showed my hand and no one came Seeing it means that they have no destiny with me. As for those who don’t come to me for divination, it’s because they are unlucky.”

Xiaoqing secretly rolled her eyes, "What about the second one?"

"Secondly, we are taking the high-end route. If we don't usually open, we will eat for three years. Do you understand this time?"

Xiaoqing turned her head and said, "Got it, you want to slaughter those rich people! You don't bother to do business with poor people. What about the third one?"

Xu Xian shook his head, "There is no third one. If there is, then the third one is that I am too lazy. I can show pictures to at most two people a day, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. If there are more, you two will welcome them!"

Xiaoqing rolled her eyes, Bai Suzhen sighed secretly and shook her head.

The cousin brought freshly brewed tea to Xu Xian, and Xu Xian quickly stood up and took the tea tray over.

"Cousin, it's like going back to my own home when I come here. You are so busy, pouring water or something, I'll just do it myself."

Xu Xian helped his cousin to sit down, and the uncle sighed, "I'm not busy at all, and I have no business at all these days. Chinese! Cultivate the Tao well, I think it's much better than opening a medicine shop."

Xu Xian found it strange that my uncle was a nice person, but a bit rigid.He ran to cultivate immortals, and his cousin read it once every time he saw him. Why did he change his tune today?

"Cousin, what happened? Didn't you always hope that I could come to your pharmacy to learn a skill? Why do you say it's good to practice Taoism today?"

The cousin said sadly: "Oh! A Taoist priest came to the street in front of him. He distributed medicine there every day. Everyone said that it worked. I haven't had any business here for several days. I'm in a hurry! Hire people and buy medicinal materials , plus daily expenses, this is not a small sum! It’s just a few days, but if it drags on for a while, I’m afraid this pharmacy that has been open for decades will have to close down!”

When Xu Xian heard this, he immediately patted his chest, "Don't worry, cousin, he's just a stinky Taoist priest! I'll find a way to help you get rid of him!"

He waved at Bai Suzhen and Xiaoqing, "Go! Find that stinky Taoist priest and eat him! I'll give him to you as a snack!"