[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

After saying goodbye to the Holy Mother, Liu Yanchang went down the mountain with his little burden on his back.He had to run away quickly, otherwise he might start the plot of the Lotus Lantern at some point.

When he arrived at the town at the foot of Huashan Mountain, Liu Yanchang went to buy some dry food first, intending to make some preparations, and then set off immediately.

"Mr. Lei, Mr. Lei!"

Liu Yanchang stood quietly at the door of the steamed bun shop, waiting for the man to wrap the steamed buns for him.

"Mr. Lei! Mr. Lei!!" Someone patted Liu Yanchang on the shoulder, "Mr. Lei! I called you several times, why are you ignoring me!"

Liu Yanchang turned his head and saw that it was Ding Da who came.He felt bitter, how could it be such a coincidence that he met Ding Da!How can he leave now? He won't really wait until Ding Da gives birth to a boy before he can leave?

Liu Yanchang coughed dryly, "So it's you! I'm in a daze here! I didn't notice you called me."

Ding Dale asked cheerfully: "Mr. Lei, where have you been these two days? I went to the Notre Dame Temple to look for you but couldn't find you. I thought you ran away!"

Liu Yanchang followed suit with a smile: "How is it possible? I didn't do anything wrong, why did I run away? I was a few days ago! I went to a banquet, and my friend's friend's brother held a full moon wine, so I went to get some joy."

"Oh, that's how it is, that's how it is! Why are you carrying a burden... you're leaving Huashan, aren't you?"

Liu Yanchang smiled exaggeratedly: "It's nothing, you haven't had a son yet! A gentleman keeps his promise, how could I break the contract?"

The clerk at the steamed bun shop handed the steamed buns to Liu Yanchang, "Sir, the steamed buns you want. If you hurry up, it's no fun to miss Sutou."

Liu Yanchang took a big bag of steamed buns with a stiff face, "Thank you..." It would be even better if you could talk less nonsense...

Ding Da sneered: "I bought dry food with my burden on my back, boy, how dare you say that you don't want to run away!"

How can Liu Yanchang be easy to get along with? He stuffed the steamed buns into Ding Da's arms, pointed at his nose and reprimanded him: "What did I tell you two days ago? Be sincere and be kind! What do you want?" ? You want to break my leg again!"

Ding Da: "I didn't..."

Without waiting for him to finish, Liu Yanchang grabbed the conversation and continued: "Nothing! Although you haven't done anything now, it doesn't mean you don't have the idea of ​​breaking your leg! Let me tell you, it's wrong for you to have this idea! Besides Did I say I was leaving?"

Holding the steamed buns in his hands, Ding Da asked aggrievedly: "Since you won't leave, why are you buying so many steamed buns? The guy at the steamed bun shop also said that you have to hurry."

Liu Yanchang said helplessly: "I have no money! I have no place to live and no food to eat. I plan to find a place to make do for two days. These steamed buns are enough for me for a while."

Ding Da patted his thigh and said, "Oh! Why didn't you say so sooner! You come to live with me!"

Liu Yanchang was speechless. After entering your house, can I still come out?I can't leave until you give birth to a son, at least ten months later!Besides, whether you can have a son or not is not up to me.I just fooled you that day, if you really don't have a son, I will stay at your house and never leave!

Liu Yanchang refused: "No need, I have hands and feet, I can write and draw, and I can earn some money by doing anything. I'm a big man, and I can't live under the fence of others."

Ding Da: "Oh! You scholars, why are you so fussy! You just come to a friend's house as a guest! What's the big deal about staying for a few days? If you think it's noisy, I'll arrange a private courtyard for you, and you can live in it." Cheap."

Liu Yanchang pretended to be ruthless, "Who is your friend!"

"Hey! You scholar!" Ding Da greeted the back, "Come here, invite Mr. Lei home as a guest!"

Ding Hulala, Ding Da's family member, surrounded Liu Yanchang and blocked him. Two people raised their feet, two raised their hands, and one person supported his head.The servants carried Liu Yanchang away with two or three strokes.

When Ding Da returned home, Mrs. Ding heard that the master brought back a person in the backyard, and immediately couldn't sit still.

"Didn't the master say that we will do good deeds from now on? Why did you revert to your old ways after two days of healing? You used to want people to have their arms and legs broken, but today they brought them back."

The servant girl persuaded her: "Madam, the servant in the front yard didn't make it clear, he just said that the master brought back the guests, so there shouldn't be any accidents."

"Since it's a guest, how can I carry it? No! I have to go to the front yard to see, don't let the master hurt anyone impulsively!"

Mrs. Ding hurried to the front yard, only to see a scholar in a gray gown with red lips and white teeth sitting on a chair angrily, and her master stood beside the scholar and apologized.

Madam Ding felt relieved, it's okay, it's okay, as long as the master didn't hit anyone.

"master."

"Madam is here!" Ding Da introduced to Liu Yanchang, "This is my wife."

Liu Yanchang stood up and said hello, "Mrs. Ding."

Ding Da said to Mrs. Ding again: "This is the scholar who persuaded me to be sincere and good, Lei Feng."

When Madam Ding heard this, she quickly said a blessing, "It turned out to be Mr. Lei, thank you Mr. Lei for dissuading my husband. I heard that he was going to smash the Notre Dame Palace that day, but I was frightened. If the Virgin Mary comes down What should we do about God's punishment? Fortunately, you persuaded him, you are really a great benefactor of our family!"

Liu Yanchang waved his hand, "You don't need to thank me! I just said a few words, just playing lip service. I really don't deserve Madam's thanks."

Mrs. Ding said with a smile: "Sir, it is righteousness to speak out."

Ding Da greeted: "Ma'am, don't thank him yet, it won't be too late to thank him after we give birth to our son. You go to the kitchen to arrange a banquet first, so you can take care of him."

Mrs. Ding happily went to the back kitchen, leaving Ding Da and Liu Yanchang in the front hall.

Ding Da sat down and took a sip of tea comfortably.

"Mr. Lei! I'm just eager to have a son, I'm not stupid!"

Liu Yanchang looked at him sympathetically, "That's what fools always say, just like drunk people always say they're not drunk."

Ding Da snorted coldly: "I am cultivating my body and mind now. In the past, I would have thrown your body into the mountain to feed the wolves!"

Liu Yanchang rolled his eyes at him, "It's so pitiful, I don't dare to do bad things now, I only dare to live my mouth!"

Ding slapped the table angrily, "I can see it, you are going to run away today! What nonsense are you talking about! You just have a pure face, you are worse than me!"

Liu Yanchang clapped his hands and applauded, "Wow! You can see all of this! You are awesome!"

"you!"

Liu Yanchang arrogantly raised one foot and stepped on the chair, "What about me!"

Ding Da took a breath and suppressed the boredom in his heart, "You don't have to provoke me, I won't let you go. You can stay here at ease, and I won't be stingy about eating and drinking. Don't worry, I won't lock you up For the rest of my life, when I give birth to a son, I will send you a thousand pieces of gold to see you off."

Liu Yanchang nodded indifferently, "Success! Besides my parents and mother, it is a good thing that someone can sincerely provide for me to eat and drink! Arrange a room for me quickly, I will take a hot bath later. By the way, remember Prepare me a collection of classics and history, pen, ink, paper and inkstone. I am a scholar, I have to study hard, and in the future I will also get a name in the exam, so that I can shine on my family!"

Ding Da held back his anger, gritted his teeth and nodded, "Okay! I'll arrange someone to prepare it for you!"

The banquet was set up quickly, and the Ding family had very strict rules, Mrs. Ding was not allowed to sit at the table if she was a woman.There was only Liu Yanchang and Ding Da eating at a big banquet.

Three rounds of wine, five flavors of food.Both of them drank a lot, Liu Yanchang turned against the guests and drove out all the maids of Bucai.He brought the jug to Ding Daman, and then said earnestly: "Master Ding, I think you are not much older than me, so how about I call you big brother?"

Ding Da thought he had given in, and said again and again: "Yes, yes, of course. Then I will call you Brother Lei."

Liu Yanchang said guiltily, "Oh! Brother, I'm ashamed to say it. My surname is not Lei, but my surname is Liu, and my name is Liu Yanchang."

Ding Da slapped the wine glass on the table, "You lied to me!"

Liu Yanchang said dissatisfiedly: "Hey - don't talk nonsense, I am not such a person! My surname is Liu, my name is Yanchang, and my name is Layman Lei Feng. Tell me how I lied to you! Besides, I was How did I tell you? I said, I do good deeds and never leave a name! Think about it carefully, have I ever lied to you?"

Ding Da said dissatisfiedly: "You scholars, you have a lot of fancy intestines in your stomach."

Liu Yanchang took a bite of the food and ate it slowly, "Don't wrong the scholars! I'm the only one with a lot of gossip!"

Ding Da curled his lips, "You are really... shameless!"

Liu Yanchang poured him another glass of wine, "Brother Ding, touch your conscience, you know what kind of person you were before, right?"

"I... I'm just a little bit more tempered."

Liu Yanchang slapped the table and said: "Aren't you a little bit more tempered? You are simply a bully! If you don't like it, you will smash it and rob it. Tell me! I am a weak scholar, can I not be afraid of you when I meet you? But for the justice in my heart, I stood up, if I honestly tell the truth, then you think I am stupid!"

Ding Da drank the wine in his glass, "You're right, I don't care about the name. But brother! You help my brother and stay at my house for a while. You see, I'm not young anymore , I can't let the Ding family's incense burn off, can I?"

Liu Yanchang was dissatisfied, "I don't know how to have children, so what's the use of you keeping me!"

Ding Da superstitiously said: "No! It's useful to keep you! You protected the Holy Mother's Palace at that time, and the Three Holy Mothers will definitely take care of you. If the Holy Mother walked in the world and saw that I took good care of you, she would definitely forgive me crime of collision."

Liu Yanchang said helplessly: "Brother, you think too much..."

Ding Da lay on the table and cried, "Brother can't do anything...I want a son! As long as I can have a son, I can do anything! Please pity me! I have such a big family business, Who will inherit without a son? How can I explain to the ancestors of the Ding family when the incense is cut off!"

Liu Yanchang's brain ached from his crying, "Okay, okay, don't cry, I'll just stay. It would be great if someone would give me free food and drink. Please don't cry! It's really ugly to cry. !"

Ding Da raised his head and broke his tears into a smile, "Your brother, don't worry, my brother will definitely make you fat and fat. You can study here with peace of mind, and you will definitely get a gold medal in the next scientific examination!"

Liu Yanchang stuck his head on the table, this time he really couldn't leave.Fortunately, it is not too close to the Palace of Notre Dame, so we should not see the Three Virgins.Since he decided to stay, it was useless to think too much, so he simply stayed at Ding's house and studied behind closed doors.I don't believe that sitting in the house every day can produce agarwood!

The author has something to say: Sitting in the house every day may not give birth to agarwood, but it does not mean that you will not see the Holy Mother...