[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

Guan Jiangkou, Huai Shujing went out for a walk early in the morning. He recently fell in love with the steamed dumplings at a small stall.The dumplings are filled with peas, with a little bit of vegetables mixed in. Others think it's weird, but he thinks the filling is soft, salty and delicious, dipped in vinegar and soy sauce, the taste is really delicious.

The owner of the stall is a very kind lady, who speaks in a soft voice, "Old man, you are here, are you still steamed pea dumplings today?"

The locust tree spirit said with a smile: "Yes! Yes!"

"Please wait a moment, the dumplings haven't been steamed yet."

Huai Shujing went to the stall next door to buy a bowl of porridge, took the porridge bowl, and sat in front of the steamed dumpling stall waiting for the dumplings.

In the distance, Seventh Princess tugged at Zhang Qiaozui's sleeve, "Look, isn't that a pagoda tree spirit?"

Zhang Qiaozui took a look, "Really, he looks like he's here...for breakfast?"

The Seventh Princess covered her mouth and giggled, "A pagoda tree spirit still wants to eat a mortal's breakfast?"

Zhang Qiaozui also laughed, "Maybe he is a gluttonous locust tree spirit!"

The Seventh Princess thought for a while and said, "Sister Qiaozui, what do you think... how about letting him pretend to be our father?"

"Huh? Isn't this appropriate?"

The seventh princess said: "Think about it! Parents' orders, matchmaker's words, without parents, should we go directly to Dong Yong's house and propose marriage to Dong's father?"

Zhang Qiaozui thought to himself, if your mother finds out about this, it will be quite exciting.She nodded, "My sister is right, let's go there now!"

The two sat opposite the locust tree spirit, Zhang Qiaozui put his hand on his chin, and said softly: "Old man, why are you sitting here eating alone? Where are your children?"

Hearing the voice, the locust tree spirit looked up, isn't the seventh princess next to this woman?

The dumpling on his chopsticks fell into the porridge bowl, and the rice grains burst into his face.He dropped his chopsticks and ran away, and disappeared in a blink of an eye. The proprietress shouted: "Mr., you haven't paid yet!"

Seventh Princess took out a piece of silver, "Miss Boss, we paid for his meal."

The proprietress said, "This...you won't need so much."

The Seventh Princess said: "Leave the extra to you first, and he will come to eat later, so you don't want his money."

The locust tree spirit ran wildly all the way, running for twenty or thirty miles, before it dared to stop to catch its breath.God Erlang had sent him a letter a long time ago, and there was an image of the seventh princess in it, so he immediately reported to him when he found the trace of the seventh princess.

The locust tree spirit took out a paper crane, which was left for him by Erlang God.When he passed the news in, the paper crane emitted a little fluorescent light, and it flapped its wings and flew into the sky.

"Why didn't you run away?"

The locust tree spirit trembled in fright, and when he turned around, Seventh Princess and Zhang Qiaozui stood behind him.

The two of them won't find out that they reported the letter, will they?The locust tree spirit hurriedly saluted, and said calmly, "You two fairies, the little old man is indeed a demon, but he has never done anything bad. Please, the two fairies, please let the little old man go!"

The Seventh Princess said kindly: "You are surrounded by pure energy, and you still have the golden light of merit. Of course I know that you have done nothing wrong! Don't be afraid, we stopped you, but we have something to ask for."

The locust tree spirit said respectfully: "You can ask the fairy if you have something to do, don't ask for it, the little old man can't afford it."

Zhang Qiaozui became impatient, and she said to the Seventh Princess: "Why are you so polite to him!" She turned her head and said to the locust tree spirit, "We are going to live in the mortal world for a while, for the sake of convenience, you come to pretend to be our father ! Give us cover!"

The locust tree spirit thought he heard it wrong, "What are you pretending to be?"

"Pretend to be our father!"

The locust tree spirit hurriedly shook his head, "No way! No way! Little old man, what can I do, if I become your father, then I am not with..." I am a couple with the Queen Mother...

Zhang Qiaozui: "And what?"

The locust tree spirit knew that he almost slipped the tongue, he covered his mouth and said: "It's nothing, the little old man really dare not!"

Zhang Qiaozui raised her hand and threatened, "You can do whatever you are asked to do! Why are you such a mother-in-law! If you dare to shirk again, I will beat you back to your original form!"

Seventh Princess held her back, "Sister...don't do this."

Zhang Qiaozui shook her hand away, "This kind of ignorant fairy, you should give him some color!" She pointed at the locust tree spirit and asked, "Quickly tell me, do you agree or not!"

The locust tree spirit hurriedly said: "Yes, yes! The little old man agrees to everything."

Zhang Qiaozui: "You're smart, now take us to your house."

The locust tree spirit said in surprise, "Go to my house?"

Zhang Qiaozui said as a matter of course: "Otherwise? Are we going to sleep on the street? Hurry up and lead the way!"

The locust tree spirit brought the two fairies back home with a sad face. They lived in the house, how could he send a message to Erlang God?

Erlangshen and Dong Yong were buying Taoist robes and whisks when they received the news from the locust tree spirit.

Erlangshen said: "You pick it first, and I will go back as soon as I go."

Dong Yong nodded, "You are busy with your work."

Erlang God found a secluded place, and the voice of the locust tree spirit came from inside the paper crane.

"Master Zhenjun, the Seventh Princess and an unknown female fairy have come to Guan Jiangkou."

Erlang Shen crumpled the paper crane into a ball, feeling a little panicked in his heart.The queen mother is in retreat, so he can't see her.The eldest princess can't control the seventh princess, and the other princesses can't control her even more.What if you tell the Jade Emperor directly?No, that would be too much.

Erlang Shen was a little upset, the seventh princess was really like brown sugar, she couldn't shake it off!

Erlang God frowned and returned to the tailor shop, Dong Yong patted the bundle in his hand, "Everything is ready, let's go!"

"Okay, let's go back!"

Dong Yong saw that his complexion was not very good, so he asked with his bag: "Is there something wrong at Guanjiangkou? I think you should go back first! I can do things like pretending to be gods and ghosts by myself. After all, I am so talented, and I should learn the spells." I have learned it all, if it doesn’t work, I can go to Emperor Wenchang for help!”

Erlang Shen said: "Yes, your talent is indeed very clever, but you just can't touch the threshold of the Dao."

Dong Yong: "Why do you always sprinkle salt on my wounds, are you happy doing this?"

Erlang Shen nodded and smiled, "Happy."

Dong Yong rushed forward angrily with a heavy burden in his arms, Erlang Shen caught up with him and explained: "The locust tree spirit sent me a message that the seventh princess has gone to Guanjiangkou."

Dong Yong became even more angry, "What on earth does she want to do? The sky is so big, so there's no room for her, right? I remember she was not like this in her previous life! Is she a fake Seventh Princess?"

Erlang Shen also sighed, "I didn't know she looked like this hundreds of years ago."

Dong Yong said: "Let's finish the matter quickly and go home! I have to find a way to get her back to the sky as soon as possible. What's the point of staying down here all the time?"

On the day when the gold list was released, Dong Yong slept until dawn.He is the number one pick chosen by the gods, who cares about going to the front of the gold list to read the list?

Dong Yong felt that the current imperial examination system was not as perfect as it was in his previous life.Of course, this is also understandable.

Now the imperial court has two ways to select talents, one is recommendation, and the other is imperial examination.

It stands to reason that recommendation refers to the recommendation of scholars of any class, but now this method of recommendation has been firmly in the hands of certain nobles, and the people who are recommended are all their followers.

The emperor could not tolerate the occasion where the court turned into a speech occasion for several gentry families, so he wanted to use the imperial examination to change this situation.But wanting to change is not something that can be done overnight, he can only do it slowly.

Xinke Jinshi has a chance to meet the emperor. After a few days, they will go to the official department to take the exam. If they pass the exam, they can find an official position. If they fail the exam, he is just a Jinshi. The official department will not arrange a position for him .

Before meeting the Holy Majesty, the Ministry of Rituals had a special person to teach etiquette to the new scholars.Dong Yong went early, and he saw two old acquaintances in the crowd, one was the leader who summoned the candidates at the gate of the city to sign a joint letter, and the other was the one who lived in the same inn and always picked on him Hate.

"Brother, congratulations, we meet again."

The son who wanted to jointly sign the letter turned his head and saw that he was indeed an old acquaintance, "Congratulations, congratulations, I haven't asked my brother's name yet."

Dong Yong smiled lightly and said, "My name is Dong Yong."

The student turned pale with shock, "Ah! So you are the champion of the new department!"

Dong Yong just smiled and said nothing, and said apologetically, "Brother was abrupt a few days ago, I went back and thought about it, and I'm really sorry."

Dong Yong smiled indifferently, "You kindly invited me to do a meaningful thing together, there is nothing wrong with it. It is someone else who speaks badly, not you. By the way, brother hasn't told me yet, you What is your name?"

"My name is Qian Ning'an." He sighed. "The brother who was with you that day, he said every word. After I entered the city, I went to look for those refugees. I ran through several yamen, but I couldn't find them They. I don’t know what happened to them, they may have been killed..."

Dong Yong saw the sparkle in the corner of his eyes, Qian Ningan was embarrassed to let Dong Yong see it, so he quickly lowered his head to cover the tears in the corner of his eyes.

Dong Yong didn't know how to comfort him, so he could only stay with him quietly for a while.Qian Ning'an probably felt that Dong Yong was a good person to confide in, so he muttered, "I have been studying for more than ten years, but only now have I realized that I am useless. I didn't even want to take the exam. But I thought that if I passed the exam, I might be able to meet the Holy Majesty... So I went to take the exam again. When I entered the Golden Palace and met the Emperor, I could intercede with the Holy Majesty and ask him to thoroughly investigate the refugees .”

Dong Yong sighed, "Although your idea is good, it is very dangerous for you to do so, you..."

"Hey! Isn't this the young master who lives in the same inn as me? What? You can still pass the Jinshi exam at your level!"

Dong Yong turned his head very unhappily, and it was that coquettish son who loves to make trouble again.The time is coming soon, and officials from the Ministry of Rituals will come to teach them how to perform ceremonies in a while, so he doesn't have time to cough with this young master here.

Dong Yong walked up to the rich man, put his arms around his shoulders and punched him hard in the stomach, "Aren't you looking for trouble all the time? Let me tell you, be honest and stay calm, otherwise I'll be a fool." Get up, no one can stop you!"

The son felt that his internal organs were all messed up, and he was frightened by Dong Yong's red eyes and fierce expression.Dong Yong loosened his collar, and he fell limply to the ground, and it took a while to get up.

The movement here has attracted many people to look this way. Dong Yong stood beside Qian Ning'an and did not look at him. He tried not to move his lips as he whispered, "On the day of the face saint, don't act rashly. You just have to do it for yourself." If the refugees speak, the emperor will definitely kill you. I have my own opinion on this matter, and you have helped me a lot by keeping your head out."

At this time, the officials from the Ministry of Rites just came over, and the Shinke Scholars lined up according to their rankings.Dong Yong went to the front and stood up. He didn't care whether Qian Ning'an would listen to him, anyway, he had said what he had to say, and if Qian Ning really didn't listen, then there was nothing he could do.

On the day of the face saint, all the Shinke Jinshi wore dark red round-neck robes, beamed crowns, and held wooden wats in line to wait for the emperor to summon them.

Dong Yong stood in the first place, his skin was as white as jade under the dark red Luo shirt, and his face was unparalleled in handsomeness.Dong Yong is good-looking, but few people usually notice his appearance.Because he likes to wear dark linen clothes, which are always wrinkled.In addition, he always hangs out with Erlangshen, Erlangshen is handsome and aggressive. When people see their combination, they usually notice Erlangshen's appearance, and rarely notice Dong Yong.

The guard guarding the door was signaled, and stood in front of the white marble railing and shouted: "Xuan Xinke Jinshi has an audience!"

Dong Yong and the others walked into the hall neatly, bowed three times and kowtowed respectfully, "See Your Majesty, Long live Your Majesty!"

The emperor looked at the new subjects who were kneeling on the ground and felt that his chest was suddenly overflowing with pride.These are the top talents recruited from all over the country, they will all be used by me, and they will all submit to my feet!My country will surely last thousands of years!

"Everyone is flat! You are all..."

"Your Majesty! The minister has a statement!"

The emperor was very upset when his speech was interrupted, "Who is making a lot of noise in the hall?"

Qian Ning'an came out and said: "Your Majesty, I'm Qian Ning'an, a scholar of the new science. I have my own report! Last year, the Hedong Road was hit by a disaster, and the people lost their crops and were displaced. This year, the imperial court has been slow to distribute seeds for spring plowing. The refugees have no choice. , They left Hedong Road one after another and rushed to the capital. Unfortunately, the imperial court did not allow them to enter the city, and even arrested them. Please also ask Your Majesty to make decisions for these refugees, give them spring plowing seeds, and let them return to their hometowns to cultivate."

Dong Yong glanced back secretly, Qian Ning'an was sweating profusely, and spoke loudly and calmly.Dong Yong understood that he had already risked everything.

Qian Ning'an's behavior can be judged as disrespect before the imperial court, and none of the ministers said a word.Dong Yong glanced up, and sure enough, the emperor's face was also very ugly.

The hall fell silent for a moment, Dong Yong thought for a while, stepped forward, and knelt down on the open space in the middle.

The emperor said angrily: "What? The new champion also has a play?"

Dong Yong said with a smile: "I do have something to play, but I can help Your Majesty solve the problem of refugees in Hedong Road."

The emperor's face was hidden behind the beaded curtain of the crown, and Dong Yong couldn't see his expression clearly.The emperor was silent for a while, and he opened his mouth to defend himself: "I was very ill a few days ago, and I have been lying in bed to recuperate. There are refugees from the east of the river entering Beijing. I also heard about this when I was sick. It's a pity that I was powerless, so I had to Leave everything to the Prime Minister. Prime Minister, how do you deal with the refugees?"

The prime minister came forward and reported, "Return to Your Majesty, last year's disaster relief and the war in the Northwest left the treasury empty, and there was no money to distribute spring plowing food to the refugees. I discussed it with the refugees and arranged for the refugees to build roads. They have work and food. Eating, solved the plight of the refugees."

Qian Ning'an said: "Your Majesty, although the Prime Minister's method is good, it can only treat the symptoms but not the root cause. If the residents who originally lived in Hedong Road leave, there will be a large area of ​​wasteland in Hedong Road. Hedong Road is an important place for grain production. , there are no people in Hedong Road, and the court will lose a large amount of tax money every year! What's more, the refugees originally had houses and land, but now they have no choice but to live in other places. Without money and food, they can only sell themselves as slaves. Doesn't this make them feel resentment."

A young man standing at the front on the right stood up and said, "Father, although there are many omissions in what Qian Ning'an said, there is still some truth."

The emperor snorted coldly, "Young and vigorous! The treasury is empty, do you have a way to conjure spring plowing seeds out of thin air?"

Dong Yong interjected, "Your Majesty, I can do it."

All eyes were on Dong Yong, and the emperor asked, "What did you say?"

Dong Yong smiled and said: "Your Majesty, I just said that I can solve the problem of refugees."

The emperor became a little interested, "Tell me about your method."

Dong Yong said: "Your Majesty, please forgive me for the crime of disrespect first, and I want to change my clothes."

"What's the matter! Come here, take Zhuangyuan Lang to the side hall to change clothes."

Dong Yong stood up from the ground, "No, no, just change here."

Dong Yong's two thumbs and middle fingers were joined together, and the fingers of both hands were aligned. He said softly, "Change!"

As soon as he finished speaking, the Luoyi on his body turned into a Taoist robe, and when he put his hand aside, a golden light flashed, and an ivory-handled whisk appeared in his hand.

"Infinite life and blessings, the head of the poor."