[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

Emperor Wenchang was taken aback by God Erlang's hostility, and asked cautiously, "What's wrong with Princess Seven? Why do you get so angry when you mention her?"

Erlang Shen said in a low voice, "It's nothing...just that she doesn't like her."

Dong Yong glanced at Erlang God and suddenly felt that he was very kind.The Seventh Princess is like a bear child, she has been accused by her parents, yet she dared to sneak out again.She made a mistake, and Erlangshen told Emperor Wenchang that it was nothing to tell the truth, and it wasn't that he did something wrong.But Erlang only said that he was not pleasing to the eyes of the seventh princess, so he saved the face of the seventh princess.This excuse is really bad enough, Erlang Shen has learned ten percent of the villain's lines.

Dong Yong and the Seventh Princess met only three times in total, the first time was in the Heavenly Court in the last life, the second time was at the gate of the city, and the third time was in the inn.

During the meeting at the inn, although only a few words were spoken, Dong Yong had already discovered that the seventh princess was completely different from the seventh princess he had seen in his previous life.

The current Seventh Princess is sexual, regardless of what other people think, and is a little selfish.Especially since she still covets her beauty, thinking of this, Dong Yong feels that he must stand on the side of Erlang God, and not let his status as a great magister be ruined by this 'fox spirit'!

At this time, Emperor Wenchang had already guessed that the Dong Yong mentioned by the Seventh Princess and the Dong Yong in front of him were the same person.

He smiled wretchedly, "Little brother, you are amazing! Did the Seventh Princess fall in love with you?"

Dong Yong quickly shook his head, "How could it be?" He said deeply, "The Seventh Princess must have taken a fancy to my talents."

Emperor Wenchang didn't believe it at all, "Don't lie to me, I am Emperor Wenchang! I can tell at a glance how many books I have read and how many beautiful articles I have written. Xiaoyou Dong, you are indeed talented, but it is not so mysterious. You are not a star of Wenqu .”

Dong Yong said seriously: "Why don't you believe it? I am both a scholar and a professional pig farmer. The pork fat in my family is thick, fragrant and tender. The seventh princess may not like my article, but she must Will love my pork!"

Emperor Wenchang: "Am I drinking too much, or are you drinking too much? It's just mortal meat, how delicious can it be?"

Dong Yong shook his head, "The emperor's words are wrong. The things in the mortal world are definitely not as good as the things in the sky, but eating things in the mortal world will make you feel better. For example, the people in our village! Under the leadership of Zhenjun Erlang, although the days I have a good life, but I can only eat meat during the holidays. So when I can eat meat, I will cherish it, and this feeling cannot be found in heaven."

Emperor Wenchang felt that this made sense, "Then what does this have to do with the pigs you raise? The pigs you raise are the best?"

Dong Yong nodded seriously, "Yes! My meat is very famous in Guanjiangkou. Even if the meat is much higher than the market price, we often sell out of stock. Many rich families come to my house to order all year round. People from our village come to Buy it, and I'll make it cheaper for them."

Emperor Wenchang smiled, but judging by his expression, he still didn't believe it.

Dong Yong was unhappy, "Where is your kitchen! I must let you try my pork today!"

Emperor Wenchang became a little interested, "Did you bring pork with you when you came to the capital?"

Dong Yong said: "Zhenjun gave me a small Qiankun bag, I can put some food in it, the ingredients will not go bad in it, it is very useful."

He took out a small purple kit from his pocket, and took out two oil-paper packets from it, "By the way, there's still some dried meat and beef jerky, you guys eat some first, and use it with wine."

Emperor Wenchang really has a kitchen here, he doesn't need to eat, but the children who serve him can't live without food, the kitchen is prepared for them.

Dong Yong dug out a few pieces of pork belly from the Qiankun bag, boiled them in clean water first, and then used nails to tie the small eyes on the pig skin.Take out the salt and spread evenly on the pork skin, then fry the pork in the oil pan, so that the pork skin is like a roasted pig, and there will be small crispy bubbles on the skin.

Take out the fried pork from the pot, soak it in cold water, take it out and cut into pieces.He dug out a dried eel and ginger wine from his pocket, these two things must be used to make this dish.Dried eel can enrich the taste and texture of dishes, and ginger wine can remove the fishy smell of dried fish and pork.

Put the meat and dried fish into the pot to stew, Dong Yong saw white radish and some bean curd sticks in the kitchen.He cut the white radish into chunks and the yuba into small pieces, and put them into the pot to stew together.The white radish and bean curd stick absorb the saltiness and fat in the soup, making it soft and delicious.

When the vegetables were stewed, Dong Yong put the vegetables into a clean casserole and sprinkled a handful of green onions and coriander on top.Dong Yong used his kitchen, so of course he had to clean it up. At this time, the dried fish was not fully cooked, so he stewed it in a casserole with residual heat. When Dong Yong cleaned up the kitchen, the dried fish was just cooked.

Returning to the small pavilion with the casserole in hand, Dong Yong put the casserole in the middle of the table, lifted the lid, and a strong smell of meat came out.

Smelling the aroma, Emperor Wenchang couldn't wait to grab a piece of pork, his eyes widened and he nodded in satisfaction. "Well, you did a good job with this dish! I almost believed it, the Seventh Princess fell in love with your cooking."

Dong Yong was thirsty, he drank a glass of water and said helplessly, "You can think whatever you like!"

Emperor Wenchang tasted every ingredient, "Good! Good! Good! Delicious! Before I became a fairy, I was also a mortal. I haven't eaten this kind of dish with the smoke and fire of the world..."

Hearing others praise Dong Yong, Erlang Shen was also happy, and he held up his wine glass to cover up the smile on his lips.

Emperor Wenchang put down his chopsticks and asked Dong Yong, "Just now I had a discussion with Zhenjun Erlang. The seventh princess asked me to guarantee you the number one scholar. No matter what your ranking is. Dong Xiaoyou, what do you mean?"

Erlangshen couldn't help staring at Dong Yong, he knew Dong Yong well and knew that he would not accept the number one scholar who got something for nothing.Especially this sweet fruit was given by the Seventh Princess. Dong Yong didn't want to marry the Seventh Princess, so he would not accept the position of champion even more.

Although he understands Dong Yong's choice intellectually, emotionally he still needs a very clear statement from Dong Yong.He hoped that Dong Yong would stand firm on his side.It seems that in this way he can win the confrontation with the Seventh Princess.

Dong Yong said reservedly: "A man should carry a three-foot sword and make great achievements. Although I was born in poverty, my father taught me to be honest, friendly, patriotic and dedicated. I can't give up my life just because I am a champion. the rules."

Emperor Wenchang was stunned for a moment, "Have you always talked like this? No words, no words? How did you pass the provincial examination like this?"

Hearing that Dong Yong was on his side, Erlang Shen was very happy.He smiled and explained to Emperor Wenchang: "He usually speaks like this, he doesn't speak four or six, but his writing is not bad."

Emperor Wenchang sighed, "Zhenjun said you are right, then you must be right. Don't worry, you will pass the exam tomorrow. Come! Let's eat vegetables! Drink! If you don't get drunk, you won't return!"

Dong Yong raised his glass happily and shouted: "If you don't get drunk, you won't return!"

Erlangshen stopped him, "You don't drink well, don't drink!"

Dong Yong clutched his wine glass, "This is mortal wine, Nurhong, I will definitely not get drunk. And don't you have anti-alcoholic medicine? Come! Cheers!"

After speaking, he picked up the cup and drank it in one gulp.

Erlang God: "..."

Emperor Wenchang followed suit, "Okay! I'll accompany you for a drink."

It has been less than an hour since the two met, and now they have hooked up shoulder to shoulder and called each other brothers.Holding a wine glass, you come and go, drinking a small wine and talking about endless gossip, and even thoughtfully serving food for each other.

Erlangshen looked annoyed, these two people are unreliable, the exam is tomorrow, and they are still drinking here this afternoon.

Erlang Shen persuaded: "You two don't be greedy, Dong Yong still has an exam tomorrow."

Dong Yong was tongue-tied, "What does it matter! Zhenjun, you have anti-alcoholic medicine! Hehehe, Zhenjun, have you heard of this meme? Are you sick? I have medicine! Hahaha! Dijun Do you think it's funny?"

Emperor Wenchang drank fast and fiercely, and he was a little drunk at this time. He nodded and said, "Hahaha, it's really funny! Xiaoyou Dong, you are really... talented, hiccup!"

Erlang Shen turned his head and sighed, he knew why the two of them were able to drink together, they were greedy for alcohol and their capacity for alcohol was terrible, this is really a bosom friend after drinking.

Erlang Shen coaxed Dong Yong, "Be good, let's go back to the inn and have a drink, okay?"

Dong Yong's face was blushing, and he pouted his ruddy lips and said, "No! I'm going to sleep here today!"

"Okay, just sleep here. It's time to sleep now, and there's an exam tomorrow!"

Dong Yong tilted his head and thought for a while, finally finding out the meaning of the word "examination" in his dull mind, "Well, I'll sleep, and then, the exam."

Erlangshen exhaled lightly, and he conjured up a bed, let Dong Yong lie on it, and covered him with a quilt. "Come on, sleep!"

Dong Yong blinked his eyes, "Father..."

Erlang Shen asked in amazement: "Who do you say I am?"

"father……"

Erlang Shen: "I'm not your father."

Dong Yong burst into tears and said, "Father, don't you want me?"

With another sigh, Erlang Shen nodded, "I want you, don't cry."

Dong Yong wiped his tears with the corner of the quilt, "Father, I want to listen to a lullaby, otherwise I won't be able to fall asleep."

Erlang Shen put the quilt over his face, "Sing by yourself! After singing, put yourself to sleep!"

Dong Yong huddled under the quilt obediently, and did not pull the quilt off his face.Erlangshen was afraid that he would be spoiled by covering him, so he gently lifted the quilt.

Dong Yong didn't sleep either, he lay on the bed and looked at Erlangshen seriously, blinking his big eyes, he looked very obedient.

Erlangshen's heart softened into a ball, he squeezed Dong Yong's white and tender face, thinking, if only you were so good-looking.

Emperor Wenchang didn't look at them, he had been filling himself with wine, and when Nurhong finished drinking, he took out his stock to drink.

Seeing Dong Yong lying there sleeping, he yelled: "Dong Xiaoyou! It's dawn! Come on... hiccup... come and drink!"

Dong Yong's eyes lit up, he squeezed his throat, raised his orchid fingers, and shouted in Tsing Yi's singing voice: "Dijun! I'm here (lia)——"

He got up from the bed, ran crookedly back to the table and continued to drink.

God Erlang thumped lightly on the bed, and he could no longer bring Dong Yong to find Emperor Wenchang.

The next morning...

Dong Yong felt that his teeth were about to fall out, but he didn't want to wake up.Because he was having a sweet dream, and there were pizza, sausage, and French fries in the dream.He hasn't eaten these things for a long time, and he really misses them!

"Dong Yong, wake up!"

Dong Yong pulled away the hand that pushed his shoulder.

"Dong Yong, wake up quickly!"

Dong Yong: "Snoring..."

Erlangshen had given Dong Yong anti-alcoholic medicine, but Dong Yong still didn't wake up.He had a long mouth, biting the stone table, saliva dripped down the stone table little by little, wetting the hem of his robe.

Erlang God found a basin of ice water and soaked the towel, he helped Dong Yong up and leaned on his arm, covered Dong Yong's face with the cold towel, and snored vigorously.

Dong Yong was quick-witted and woke up immediately, "Ah! Cool!"

Erlang Shen threw the towel into the water basin, "Hurry up and change your clothes, we are about to enter the arena!"

Dong Yong's expression was sluggish, like a little mentally retarded, "What are you going to enter?"

"Enter! Exam! Field!"

"Ah——" Dong Yong didn't care if it was a pavilion that was ventilated on all sides, he directly took off his outer robe, and found a outer robe from Gay Zi's Qiankun bag to put on.

He picked up a towel from the cold water basin and wiped his face randomly twice. Dong Yong stood by the pavilion and took a look at his appearance. He felt that it was almost done, and hurriedly said to Erlangshen: "Brother! Send me to the examination room quickly." !"

Erlangshen picked up the formula and was about to cast the spell, but Dong Yong shouted to stop, "Just wait a moment."

He shook Emperor Wenchang and said, "Dijun, Dijun, remember to wish me success in the exam, remember!"

Emperor Wenchang was also lying on the table, he opened his eyes in a daze, "Ah... I remember..."

Erlang God took Dong Yong to the examination room, Wenchang Emperor finished the second half of the sentence reeking of alcohol, "I will remember to let you, hiccup, let you win the first prize!"