[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

After introducing Erlangshen to his father, Dong Yong went back to the house and grabbed a carrot and gnawed it.

How dare Dong's father call him Xiao Erlang!

Look at the clothes the young master is wearing, look at the whole body of the young master!Father Dong inexplicably felt that he would be a head shorter in front of Erlang God, and he couldn't stand the airs of an elder at all.

He greeted Erlang God in a low voice: "Master Erlang...you sit in the room quickly. Son, son! Treat Master Erlang well, Daddy is going out first."

Dong Yong bit the fresh carrot, it was crunchy and very sweet. "Where are you going, Dad?"

"I'm going to offer incense at Zhenjun Erlang's temple. We moved here, so I have to tell Zhenjun."

Dong Yong took a sneak peek at Erlangshen, "Okay, go quickly! Erlangshen will definitely feel your sincerity."

After Dong's father left, Erlang Shen and Dong Yong entered the house.Dong Yong poured Erlangshen a bowl of cold water and pushed it in front of him.

Erlang said coolly: "Xiao Erlang...do you call me that in private?"

Dong Yong took another bite of the carrot, and said nonchalantly, "Me? I call you more exaggerated in private, do you want to listen? Let me tell you, young man, I am not afraid of you now. Poverty has made me stronger!"

Erlangshen said: "Since you have such a backbone, you shouldn't need my help to study in the academy."

Dong Yong immediately changed his face, and he smiled obsequiously, "Don't tell me! Master Zhenjun, you don't remember the fault of a villain, and I have come to you. You should give my brother a hand." He put He bit the remaining half of a carrot and stuffed it into Erlangshen's hands, "This is my honor to you. Hehehe!"

There were messy teeth marks on the carrots, and Erlangshen stuffed the carrots into Dong Yong's mouth with a cold face.

"Change into decent clothes, and I'll take you to see Mr.

Dong Yong threw the carrot on the table, "Okay! Just wait a moment, the small one will be ready soon!"

Dong Yong changed into a clean gray cloth shirt, put on black cloth shoes, and followed Erlang Shen out.

Erlangshen didn't use spells, he and Dong Yong were walking slowly, and the two happened to chat about some gossip.

The little heartless Dong Yong complained to him, "Tell me about you, we haven't seen each other for a few days? You even said that I am your benefactor! I can't find anyone to repay you! Even if you don't show up Well, shouldn't you lend me the Xiaotian dog?"

Erlang God looked at him, "An envoy? What are you a Xiaotian dog? A pot or a bowl? Besides, how else do you want me to take care of you?"

Dong Yong said very bluntly: "Well... first, change our family to a big house; second, first give me a few million taels of silver; third...you let the emperor directly give me the number one prize, I will I want to wear big red flowers, ride a big horse, and parade in the streets!"

Erlangshen said: "You don't need to carry big red flowers if you want to parade, you can parade with shackles as well."

Dong Yong said angrily, "You are a prisoner walking around the streets in shackles! You handsome boy, you have such a vicious heart!"

The two of them chatted nonsensical gossip while walking out of the village.On the day they reunited, the two had a long talk all night, and their relationship has grown closer since then.Erlang God doesn't throw cold faces at every turn, and Dong Yong's attitude towards Erlang God is becoming more and more casual (commonly known as pushing his nose on his face).

After walking about five miles out of the village, Dong Yong and Erlangshen came to the river.Erlangshen pointed to the bamboo house by the river and said, "That's the school I found for you."

Dong Snobby Yong said with disgust: "Zhenjun, this school is too shabby, right? The master here must be very hypocritical. Look, the house is built by the river, how humid it is! If I study here Nian Shu, you must have rheumatism! And beside the water, will there be too many mosquitoes? I am very attracted to mosquitoes!"

Erlang Shen sighed, he found that Dong Yong was especially good at climbing along poles, and now giving him a cold face can no longer scare him.

Erlangshen said with a smile: "If you don't like this school, then forget it. But I want to remind you that the master refused to accept you. I sent someone to give him 300 taels of gold, and he reluctantly agreed to enroll you."

"300 taels...gold?"

Erlang continued to smile, "Yes. Are you still going to the school?"

Dong Yong covered his heart and said, "Go! After spending so much money, wouldn't it be cheaper if I don't go?" He pointed to Erlang God and said sadly, "Give me 300 taels of gold! I'm the one who needs it the most." Men of gold! Prodigal lords!"

Dong Yong puffed his cheeks and angrily knocked on the door of the bamboo house.

"Come in."

Dong Yong adjusted his expression, opened the door respectfully and entered.

The bamboo house is very small, with a soft couch in front, a few low tables and a few futons underneath.There was only one man in a blue robe with a book in his hand and a well-trimmed beard.He asked, "Who are you looking for?"

Dong Yong saluted respectfully, "Hi sir, I am a new student, Dong Yong."

The man kneeling on the couch put down the book in his hand. He looked at Dong Yong critically, "It turned out to be you. In order to let you study, your family sent 300 taels of gold. Do you know?"

Dong Yong nodded, "The students know."

"How do you feel about that?"

Dong Yong felt that this gentleman seemed to be a little disgusted with him, and he lowered his head pretending to be shy, "I am very grateful for the care and trust of my family. I feel very lucky to have such generous relatives."

Teacher: "..." What a brazen student!

The gentleman waved his hand impatiently, "Okay, you go back first! Several of my students are going to take exams these days, and I don't have time to teach you, so you go home and wait! I will inform you when the class starts .”

"Yes, sir, goodbye."

After leaving the small bamboo house, Dong Yong ran over to complain to Erlang God: "Tell me about you. If you have 300 taels of gold, you might as well give it to me. This gentleman seems to have misunderstood me a lot. He looks at me like he is looking at a A rich second generation with no education or skills."

Erlangshen explained: "Be patient, this gentleman has some skills. He resigned and returned to his hometown because he couldn't understand the darkness of the court. Now he is the best gentleman in Guanjiangkou. As long as he says your essay is good, the imperial examination It must be sure."

Dong Yong had no choice but to nod, "Okay! For your sake, I will reluctantly accept studying here!"

Erlangshen: "...It seems that I really have a lot of face."

When Dong Yong arrived home, Dong's father hadn't come back yet, and he didn't know how long he would have to thank him in front of the statue of Erlang God.

Erlangshen saw that Father Dong was not there, so he clapped his hands lightly, a burst of white smoke flashed, and an old man with a white beard emerged from the ground.

"The little old man has met Lord Zhenjun and Mr. Dong."

It was the first time that Dong Yong saw someone emerge from the ground. Erlang Shen explained: "This is the locust tree spirit. You can ask him to do something urgent in the future."

Dong Yong smiled at the locust tree spirit, "I will trouble the uncle from now on."

The locust tree spirit waved its hands in fright, "Don't dare, Mr. Dong doesn't have to be so polite. The little old man also wants to thank Lord Zhenjun for giving the little old man this chance. The willow tree spirit has occupied my house, and every time the moon is full At night, we caught boys and girls to eat. Thanks to Master Zhenjun, he eliminated the demons and returned the house to the little old man."

Dong Yong asked curiously: "You are a pagoda tree spirit, do you want to live in a house like a human?"

"Mr. Dong doesn't know. There is a pagoda tree behind my house, which is the body of the little old man. If someone destroys it, it will damage the little old man's skill. So the little old man built a house and a yard to show that this The locust tree has its own owner. My yard was filthy by the willow spirit, so I couldn’t stay there to practice. Fortunately, Lord Zhenjun didn’t dislike it and asked the little old man to move his body to Guanjiangkou, where he settled down. home."

"Oh, so that's the case. We moved together. After all, we are still fellow villagers!"

The locust tree essence leaves a small locust tree branch, as long as Dong Yong has a difficult problem, he can hold the locust tree branch tightly and call out in his heart, and he can appear.

After the locust tree spirit left, Erlangshen said: "Your house and land sold so quickly, thanks to the pagoda tree spirit's help. In fact, the house and land were bought by the locust tree spirit at a high price. Otherwise, your little family property would be lost." I couldn’t afford such a blue-tiled house near Guanjiangkou.”

Dong Yong nodded suddenly, "I mean! It turned out that he helped. Then we followed the caravan all the way here smoothly, was it also made by the locust tree spirit?"

"Yes, the locust tree spirit has been following the caravan and escorting you."

Dong Yong solemnly thanked God Erlang, "Thank you Zhenjun! I know that without your order, the locust tree spirit will not help me."

Erlangshen said with a smile, "You still have a little conscience."

"But I have something else to do."

"what's up?"

"In my previous life, I worked as a cook for Xiaotiangou, so there are still a few days' salary that you haven't settled for me?"

Erlang God: "..."

In this way, Dong Yong, a migrant worker, received a replacement salary from his boss Erlangshen in his previous life.

Erlangshen was very considerate, he didn't give Dong Yong gold directly, but gave him a few small denomination silver bills, and some scattered silver and copper coins.

Dong Yong was still too young, and it would be suspicious for him to exchange a large amount of gold and silver. Give him silver taels and copper coins, so that it will be more convenient for Dong Yong to spend money.

Taking the wages from his previous life and bidding farewell to God Erlang, Dong Yong excitedly went to the next village to buy two little piglets.

Back home with the little piglets in his arms, Dong Yong found a big bamboo basket, filled it with straw and rags, and gently put the two black and white piglets into the basket.

Looking at the humming and chirping little pig, Dong Yong smiled and rolled his eyes.Pigs are so cute, when they grow up, of course we have to eat them!

People nowadays don't like to eat pork. They think pork smells bad and tastes bad, and it's something poor and humble people eat.They don't like to eat, but Dong Yong loves to eat!

In Dong Yong's view, the people in the world have not mastered the correct cooking method, so the pork is unpalatable.But he can cook!At this time, the soul of the little master in his body was burning, and he wished he could make a roast suckling pig right away to show off his skills!

When Father Dong came home, he saw the big bamboo basket in the yard and asked, "Son, where did these two piglets come from?"

"Sent by Xiaojiro."

"Why did he give you the piglets? I really don't understand these rich children. Son, are these two pigs hungry? Why do they keep barking? You should feed them something."

Dong Yong raised his head in confusion, "Father! What should they eat? Can you raise pigs?"