[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

"Ah... stop quickly, it hurts..." Dong Yong said with tears.

Erlangshen was also sweating profusely, "Be patient a little longer."

"No... ah... my leg is going to break..."

Erlang Shen let go of Dong Yong's shoulder, "Why can't I bear this pain, isn't it just pressing my legs twice?"

Dong Yong rubbed his thighs and stood up from the ground. He grinned and said, "You said it lightly. I asked you to help me beat someone. It's fine if you don't want to help. You actually let me practice splits here! What's the use of splits?" ? I kicked Fu Baobao on the forehead?"

Erlangshen said flatly: "Don't be so unreasonable, didn't you say so? It's better to take revenge with your own hands, let me teach you martial arts."

"I want you to teach me a quick way! You just lied to me! Learning martial arts should start from squatting, who learns martial arts from splits? You let me hold a big tree and practice the dragon. I regret it." Be more sincere than this!"

Erlang Shen sighed, "You are only 12 years old now, and your strength is already weak. If you want to beat others, you must pay attention to speed and flexibility."

Dong Yong thumped his leg, "Come on, I won't learn it anymore. Even if I learned the splits today, I still have to be beaten tomorrow if I should be beaten."

Dong Yong looked up at the sky, the sky in the east was already slightly bright, the air was cool and humid, his father should wake up in a little while.

"I have to go home to make breakfast, and my father will have to work in the field later. Give me a buff before you leave. I haven't slept all night, and my back is sore and my legs are sore."

Erlangshen took out a white pill and handed it to Dong Yong. Dong Yong took it and stuffed it into his mouth. The pill immediately turned into sweet water and slid down his throat into the esophagus.

Immortals produced one worth two, and Dong Yong suddenly felt clear-headed and as light as a swallow, more sober than drinking Red Bull, and more energetic than eating Snickers.

"Thank you! I'm leaving first, you can do your work!"

He trotted back home and changed out of his dirt-stained clothes.Dong Yong deftly lit the fire, boiled water, and cooked.

When his father woke up, breakfast was already on the table.

Father Dong wiped his face and picked up chopsticks to eat.Dong Yong lay beside his father, and said in a mysterious tone: "Father! Guess who I dreamed of last night?"

"Dream about your mother?"

"No! I dreamed of Erlang Shen!"

Father Dong became a little interested, "What did Erlang God say?"

"He said, I was a good person in my previous life, the kind who could move heaven and earth. And I was his devout believer, so pious...to the point where I didn't have to marry a wife because of Erlang God. Erlang God gave me a dream and told me to move. , to live in Guanjiangkou, he can bless our family with wealth and glory."

Father Dong thought it was nonsense, "Stop talking, eat quickly, and go to the academy early after eating."

"Father, did you hear me?"

Dong's father said: "I heard! This is just a dream! Do you really want to move to Guanjiangkou? Our ancestors have lived here for generations. As the saying goes, the homeland is hard to leave. Just for your dream, we will move to thousands of places. Outside?"

Dong Yong thought for a while, then sighed pretentiously, "Oh! That's right, you can't move just because of a dream. But in the dream, Erlang God also said that there are many famous masters in Guanjiangkou. With my talent, the masters will definitely accept me. I am a disciple."

It is Dong's father's obsession to let his son study and become an official.Hearing Dong Yong's words, he murmured in his heart.Is this really a hint from the gods?

"Don't think so much, pack up your things and go to school! Dad will cook something delicious for you tonight."

Dong Yong grabbed a bean noodle nest, "I'll cook the delicious ones when I come back! Don't waste things."

After leaving home, Dong Yong sighed while biting the bean noodles.His stupid father!Erlangshen was so talkative for the first time yesterday, he didn't appreciate it!After passing this village, there may not be that shop.

Entering the school, Fu Baobao folded his arms and sneered at him with a group of brats.

The situation was very bad, Dong Yong pretended to be calm, and said with a smile: "Everyone is very enthusiastic about learning! Come to class so early!"

Today's Fu Baobao doesn't talk much, he waved his fat arm and said very coldly: "Give it to me!"

Dong Yong ran out, and ran back just as he reached the gate.

Damn it, Fu Baobao, this vicious little fat man, actually blocked a group of servants at the door!

There are wolves in front and tigers in back, Dong Yong is surrounded by a group of people, no matter how coquettish he moves, there is no place to display it.

"Everyone is a scholar, this is too much! Fu Baobao, let me tell you, the master will not let you go!"

The little fat man was furious, "My name is Fu Guanbao, not Fu Baobao! You haven't even heard my name, how dare you come to the academy to mess around! Hit him!"

A group of teenagers and several adult servants rushed over, Dong Yong had no choice but to crouch on the ground with his head in his arms.Hit it!Just don't make him look stupid.

As soon as he squatted down, Dong Yong felt something was wrong.Until a long time later, Dong Yong still remembered the magical feeling of that moment.His body is full of wonderful power, he seems to understand the mysteries of the sun, moon and stars, and the laws of everything in the world.At this moment, he can touch stones into gold and move mountains and seas.

In the past, he wanted to chisel through a wall, but he knew very well that he couldn't do it.But at this moment, he believes that he can penetrate the Great Wall!

At the moment those people surrounded him, Dong Yong jumped up instantly and flew into the air.There was a violent airflow beside him, which overturned everyone in an instant.

Defeat the enemy with one move!Very cool!

Dong Yong gently landed on the ground in what he thought was the most handsome way.He raised his hand to lick the broken hair that fell from his forehead, and said slowly: "Speak politely, do you know who you are talking to?"

Fu Guanbao was terrified, "You! You are a monster!"

Dong Yong: "Oh, it seems that you still haven't made up your mind!"

He walked over and grabbed Fu Guanbao by the collar and kicked him!

"It's up to you! It's up to you! How dare you say I'm a monster!"

Fu Guanbao didn't dare to fight back, and wept angrily, which made Dong Yong feel ashamed to strike.

"Okay! Just stop crying for a while! The snot is coming out, are you sick?"

Dong Yong picked up his calico schoolbag and suddenly felt dispirited. He lived to be almost 60 years old. What's the point of fighting with children.

"Don't cry! It's as if my kick hurts so much! Feel your conscience, your ass is full of meat, how painful can it be?"

Fu Guanbao sobbed aggrievedly, "I want to stop too, but I can't control it."

Dong Yong said impatiently: "In the future, let's grow some snacks! So much meat is growing for nothing? Don't be so reckless, beat whoever you see."

After saying this, Dong Yong left, leaving behind the people lying in pain in the yard, and Fu Guanbao who couldn't control his sobs.

Leaving the academy, Dong Yong turned around and walked into a small alley.

He felt that he could count one against ten, it must be the effect of the little white pill that Erlang God gave him!Thank you Erlang Zhenjun, mother, I am going to become a god!With a sword coming to the west, the Flying Immortal from Heaven is talking about me!

Facing the wall, he sank into his dantian, clenched his hands into fists and stuck to his waist, and took a steady horse step. Dong Yong quickly punched, hit the wall, and shouted: "Ha!"

And then...the wall was fine, and his hand twitched.

"Oh my god! Damn it! It hurts..."

"What are you doing?" a cold voice asked.

Dong Yong stretched out his hand to Erlang God, "Hurry up, hurry up, heal my wound!"

Erlangshen blew on his hand, and the bleeding wound healed immediately. "Why did you start hurting yourself?"

Dong Yong rubbed his fingers, as if he wanted to wipe off the hot air blown by Erlang God.He said casually: "Just now I beat a dozen young men to the ground by myself. I think I may have supernatural powers, or I'm about to ascend."

Erlang laughed loudly: "You want to try that feeling again, so you come here and smash the wall with your hands?"

"Don't I have supernatural power? Then what's the little pill you gave me?"

"That's not a elixir, it's jelly beans. After eating it, you feel refreshed." Erlangshen said while laughing.Dong Yong was going crazy with his anger!

"Then why did I count one as ten just now?"

Erlangshen said with a smile: "What else could it be? Of course it's because I'm here!"

Dong Yong said angrily: "You... I really don't know how to thank you!"

Erlang Shen asked: "Have you talked to your father? When will you move to Guanjiangkou?"

Dong Yong said angrily: "Of course I said it. I said that you gave me a dream, that I was a devout believer, and that I went to Guanjiangkou to pay for reading, board and lodging. My father didn't believe it."

"..." Erlang Shen sighed, "As long as your father is still sensible, he won't believe what you, a child, told in your sleep."

Dong Yong asked: "How else can I say? I said that I helped Erlang God in my previous life, and in this life he wants to help the poor and help me?"

Erlang Shen sighed, "Forget it, I will try to convince your father. Didn't you study today? Come home so early, your father won't scold you?"

Dong Yong shook his head, "Don't read it anymore. That Baobao Fu is Xiaochang's tyrant. If I beat him today, Master Fu may come to beat me tomorrow. I can just use this as an excuse to persuade my father to move."

Erlang Shen nodded, "Alright."

Dong Yong and Erlang Shen separated and returned home with a small cloth bag.He washed the dirty clothes yesterday and tidied up the house briefly.Then he washed his hands and kneaded the dough, preparing to make some lunch for his father and send it to the field.

A little bean flour, and a little sorghum flour, because these two kinds of noodles are not as sticky as white flour, and he has to knead them repeatedly with skill to knead the two kinds of noodles into a ball.After reconciling, he went to the backyard to pick a handful of celery, washed it and cut it into small cubes.

Using a rolling pin to roll the dough into thin dough, he took a kitchen knife and cut the dough into noodles.Boil water to cook the noodles, remove and place in cold water after the noodles are cooked.Pour a little oil into the pot, fry the celery, add soup, and make a marinade.

Seeing that it was noon, Dong Yong speeded up, put the noodles and stew into clay pots, and carried a bamboo basket to the field to find his father.

Now is the time for weeding, and it is also the time for hot weather.When Dong Yong walked to the ground, he already felt that he was going to be sunburned, and his father was still bent over and busy in the field.

"Father! I'm bringing you food! Take a rest!"

Father Dong slowly stood up straight, bending over for a long time made his back ache.

Wiping his flushed face with a towel, Father Dong said, "Oh! Why are you here? At this time, shouldn't you be studying in the academy?"

Dong Yong handed the Liangbai Kai in the basket to Dong's father, "We'll talk about it after dinner."

Father Dong sat on the ridge of the field and drank the water in the bowl.The well water was clear and sweet, and he couldn't help sighing happily. It was so hot that he could hardly breathe.

Dong Yong fished the noodles into a bowl and added stew.Dong's father put down the porcelain bowl filled with water and wanted to eat, but Dong Yong refused to give him a rice bowl, "Let's take a break first, I just finished work and drank water, you can rest for a while before eating."

"Ah! You are so poor and fastidious! I have to work quickly. Our land depends on me alone. If you don't work quickly, when will we finish weeding?" He raised his head and pointed to the sky, "It's hot this year It's so abnormal, God is not raining, I have to hurry up and water the field after weeding!"

Dong Yong said, "Why don't we move out!"

Dong's father reprimanded: "Speaking of children! The roots of our Dong family are here, how can we move away so easily?"

"There are only the two of us left in the Dong family. Wherever the two of us are, the Dong family will be there."

Father Dong asked suspiciously: "There's something wrong with you kid. You urged me to move this morning. You haven't gone to the academy today. Tell me quickly, are you causing trouble?"

Dong Yong complained, "I caused trouble? You have to be reasonable, I never knew how good I was since I was a child! Who in the village would not say that I don't worry?"

Father Dong was not confused by his words, "I'll just ask you, why don't you go to school today?"

Dong Yong sighed, "Do you know Fu Guanbao, the son of Mr. Fu's family? I fought with Fu Guanbao. He led people to block me, but I didn't run away, so there was a fight."

Father Dong put his arms around him and asked anxiously, "Are you injured? Why did he hit you?"

Dong Yong twisted his body and pushed Father Dong away, "I'm fine, I ran away. Maybe he hit me because he didn't like me!"

Dong's father gritted his teeth in anger, "Is there any legal law? I have to go to Mr. Fu's house and let him judge. My son is only 12 years old. How could they be so cruel?"

Dong Yong quickly grabbed his father, his small body couldn't hold Dong's father at all, so he could only walk forward.

Dong Yong said quickly: "Don't mind, don't mind, mind you! Don't worry, my master will not let me go, I will definitely invite me back tomorrow! Besides, Mr. Fu is a big family in Xiaochang, and you can't even enter his door , What reason is there. We poor people, when we can bear it, we must not mind pretending to be a grandson!"

Dong's father turned around and patted him on the head, "Why are you pretending to be a grandson? A scholar must have backbone."

Dong Yong rubbed his head, "Come on, you! You don't know a single character, but you still know the integrity of a scholar!"

Father Dong sat down on the ridge of the field listlessly, "It's useless to be a father..."

"Don't say that, it is very useful for you to give birth to such a smart son as me."

Dong's father was about to be laughed at by him, "Okay, don't be silly! Hurry up and bring me the rice."

"De Ling!" Dong Yong handed the noodles to his father, and filled a bowl for himself. The sorghum noodles are not as strong as white noodles, but they have a grainy fragrance in the mouth, and the more you chew, the more delicious they become.The noodles are cool, and the marinade is still warm, and the two times are reconciled, so that the entrance does not irritate the stomach.

Father Dong smiled and said: "My son is amazing, and our food is the best in the village. You are right, we will wait for the master to bring Fu Guanbao to come to apologize, otherwise, we would not go to that dilapidated academy It's over!"

"That's right! Father, you are right to think so!"

After eating two more mouthfuls of noodles, Father Dong asked, "Son, are you sure Master will come to beg you?"

"..." You are still worried about the arrogance you just said!

After lunch, Dong Yong didn't go home, but followed Dong's father to weed in the field.The matter of moving to Guanjiangkou has not yet been written off!The work that should be done still has to be done.

Erlang Shen promises to convince Dong's father, but how can he do it?Meet Father Dong directly and say he will bless them?Father Dong will definitely treat this as a liar!

I don't know what good way Erlang God can do. The poor Dong Yong is very yearning to be able to mix with Erlang God, even as a pet!He thinks that Erlang Shen still likes cats or Panda.

Hearing that his son was bullied in the academy, Father Dong was absent-minded all afternoon.He was worried and distressed.He was worried that his son's future would be ruined, and he felt sorry for his son not only studying hard, but also being bullied at such a young age.

Dinner is Dong Yong's cold pea sprouts, simply mixed with salt and some sesame oil.Now that the family is very poor, soy sauce and vinegar are not willing to buy at all. The sesame oil is still the sesame seeds that Dong Yong grows himself, thinking about the oil he squeezed.

Dong's father ate very little for dinner, even his favorite pea sprouts, Dong's father still seemed to lack interest.

After eating, Dong's father went to bed soon. Dong Yong thought he would not be able to fall asleep, but unexpectedly he started snoring as soon as he touched the pillow.

Dong Yong shook his head, he thought the old man would suffer from insomnia tonight!I didn't expect to fall asleep so soon. I guess he didn't go to the academy, and the old man was not in a hurry.

Dong Yong didn't know that Dong's father was really worried, but Erlang God used the method of falling asleep again, and Dong's father had to sleep even if he didn't want to.

In the dream, Father Dong pushed open a huge vermilion door, and the nails on it seemed to be plated with gold.Walking into the door, there is a huge square with black stone bricks of the same size paving the ground, which is very flat and atmospheric.Facing the gate is a majestic and majestic temple, with red brick walls, yellow glazed tiles, and gems inlaid on the walls and eaves. When the sun shines, the temple glistens.

Father Dong walked into the main hall, and the statue in the hall was holding a three-pointed double-edged gun and wearing a golden armor, very brave.There are flowers and spiritual fruits on the table in front of the statue, and you can smell the aroma without getting close.He didn't know who the statue was, and he didn't know what was written on the plaque at the entrance of the temple.He just felt that he should quickly kneel down and worship to show his piety.

"Dong Da, a believer, kowtow to Master Immortal."

A solemn voice echoed in the hall, "Since you are a believer, why don't you leave and go to Guanjiangkou?"

Father Dong raised his head and asked suspiciously, "What?"

Erlang Shen sighed in his heart, Dong Da may have learned from Dong Yong for his current stupid appearance.

"I've given your son a dream, why don't you believe it?"

Dong's father was shocked, "Master Immortal, please forgive me, believers think my son is making up nonsense to tease me! Since Master Immortal said to move, I will move tomorrow!"

"Your son's misfortune today is all because of your refusal to move. Tomorrow morning, prepare to leave quickly without any mistakes! Remember, don't tell others the reason for this matter. If the secret is leaked, I will protect you I can't miss you!"

"Yes, yes, don't worry, Master Immortal, I will listen to you in everything!"

A gust of wind swept over, Dong Da fell backwards, and a big crack opened on the ground, as if trying to swallow him.He woke up from the bed with a yell, Dong Yong hadn't finished washing the dishes, he ran back into the house from the stove with a dishcloth.

"Dad! What's the matter with you?"

Dong's father was still in shock, he gasped and said loudly: "We will move tomorrow!"

Dong Yong: "Father, what did you dream about?"

Dong's father hesitated to speak, hesitated for a long time, he just said: "Don't worry about it so much, get up early tomorrow, pack your things, and move!"

Dong Yong didn't know what ecstasy soup Erlang God poured into old Dongtou, so he packed his luggage at home the next day.Dong's father sold all the land in the family after going out for a while, and went to the county government office in the afternoon to transfer the household registration.

Dong Yong scratched his heart and liver curiously, but Erlang Shen didn't appear, and his father refused to say anything, no one could satisfy his curiosity.

The master really came the next day, and when he entered the door, he found that the things in the house were packed and piled up to the brim.He asked: "Dong Yong, this is your family..."

"Master, the students were about to say goodbye to the master, but the master came unexpectedly. Thank you for taking care of the students, the students are going to move."

The master was very surprised, "Move? Where will you move? You didn't come to class for two days. I thought you were injured by Fu Guanbao. I wanted to comfort you today, but I didn't want you to move out. After moving, you still come to the academy Do you want to study? Don’t worry, I’ve talked to Mr. Fu and scolded Mr. Fu, so he won’t dare to embarrass you again.”

Dong Yong pretended to be sad and said: "They all bullied me when I was young, I dare not go to school anymore."

The master was speechless, Fu Guanbao's butt was bruised, and the other accomplices were also covered in bruises.Dong Yong was working, and he was wearing a small vest at this time. His face and arms were white and tender, without any scars.

The master sighed, "You! I think you beat Guan Fu and dared to pretend to be wronged! Fortunately, I closed the museum for a day and came out of the city to find you!"

Dong Yong was grateful for Master's heart, "Master, I was just joking. My family has relatives in Shuzhong who are very rich now. We, father and son, plan to join him."

The master suddenly realized, "It turns out that this is the case. It is also a good thing to go to relatives. You are talented, and you must always remember to study hard, so that your talent will not be wasted."

Dong Yong respectfully bowed his hands and saluted, "Dong Yong remembers the teachings of Master."

The matter of moving was quickly completed, and the father and father left Xiaochang after saying goodbye to relatives and friends.It happened that Xiaochang had a caravan going to Sichuan to buy tea, so Dong Yong and his father set out on the journey together with the caravan.

The journey went smoothly to Guanjiangkou. Dong's father bought two acres of dry land and a green brick and tile house with the money from selling the land and house.

The village where they live is not far from the county seat, and the folk customs are simple, and everyone is very friendly to the strange father and son who just moved here.

When they were almost settled, Erlang Shen turned into a boy and came to the village to look for Dong Yong. Unfortunately, Dong's father saw him.

"Son, who is this young master?"

Dong Yong introduced: "This is my new friend, Dad, you can just call him Xiao Erlang."