[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

"Ah-ah-ah-"

"Shut up, stop shouting!"

Dong Yong opened his eyes, he and the strange boy had landed safely.He closed his mouth and said awkwardly: "It's good for your heart to shout about this high-altitude event."

The strange boy sneered, as if mocking his timidity.

Dong Yong stood up and looked around. This is a small thatched hut, which looks dilapidated. The thatch on the roof has been blown away by the wind, leaving only a few beams.

"We were swept away by a black wind just now, so... we were captured by monsters?"

The strange boy nodded, "Yes."

"You just said that something happened. Could it be that you have a date with a goblin?"

"..."

Dong Yong smiled: "Don't be nervous, don't be nervous, I was just joking, after all, the atmosphere is very dignified! You said that goblin caught us, where did he go?"

Strange boy: "I don't know."

Dong Yong wandered around in the hut. The furniture here is made of bamboo, which is very simple and elegant.However, the monster living here is obviously a rough character, the chair has missing legs, and the table top has been smashed.The house is full of dust, and the floor is full of rags.

Turning to the back room, the moonlight came in through the window lattice and sprinkled on the ground, covered with white bones and skulls.There was even half a piece of intestines hanging from the bed net.

"Ouch!" Dong Yong ran back to the front room, he dragged the strange boy to retch, "Damn it! That monster eats people!"

Strange boy: "...Did you just find out? If he doesn't eat people, why would he catch us here?"

Dong Yong: "..." It's up to you to be smart...

The strange boy asked him again: "You said I look like your friend, do you have a good relationship with him?"

Dong Yong pushed the door hard, and said casually, "Didn't I just say that? I have an ordinary relationship with him." After thinking for a while, he added, "But he is my little brother, and he admires me very much." .”

Strange boy: "Oh, is that so?"

Dong Yong: "Yes! Who made me so smart and talented."

The doors and windows couldn't be opened, so Dong Yong said angrily, "Could you come over and help? Before the monster comes home, we have to escape quickly."

"There is an enchantment here, you can't get out."

Dong Yong frowned and gave up his escape plan. At this time, there was a sound of wind on the roof. Dong Yong looked up and saw a black whirlwind was about to fly into the house.The strange boy grabbed Dong Yong's collar and carried him back to the wall.

With a bang, a fat man in a white silk jacket fell to the ground.

Dong Yong was covered in cold sweat, fortunately he was pulled aside by the boy, otherwise the little fat man would have fallen on him.Look at the trembling flesh on that little fat man!If he hit his own body, he would be paralyzed!

A monster wearing a black fishnet jacket, with smoky makeup on his face, and poor looks and dressing taste descended from the sky, "Hahahahahaha! Today is really rewarding! Hahaha!"

Dong Yong asked: "What kind of monster are you? Could it be that you become a ghost from a fishing net?"

The monster was furious: "You ignorant boy, my body is clearly a willow tree!"

Dong Yong put his hands behind his back, pulled out a fire pocket from his sleeve, and quickly swung it behind his back.He was talking nonsense, attracting the monster's attention.

"I didn't see that you were a willow spirit. I think the willow spirit should be more serious."

The willow spirit was furious, "Why am I not serious?"

"What are you trying to do by capturing us three white and tender teenagers in the middle of the night?"

The willow spirit started laughing again, "Today is the night of the full moon, as long as I eat a virgin boy, my magic power will increase greatly. Hahahahahaha! I didn't expect to be so lucky today, and I found three at once. God bless you!"

There was a tattered screen behind Dong Yong, the silk embroidery on it had been torn, he moved the torch over and lit the screen. "Oh...so you wanted to eat us, I thought you wanted to tarnish our innocence!"

"Fart! You yellow-mouthed child, full of obscene language!" The willow tree spirit suddenly sniffled, "Why does it smell like something burning?"

Dong Yong picked up the screen, stepped on the little fat man's back, jumped up and smashed the screen on the willow spirit's head. "Fuck you! You willow spirit has a long nose!"

The willow spirit waved his hand, Dong Yong was thrown out, and the strange boy caught him.

"Hmph! Ignorant child, a little ordinary fire still wants to hurt me, just dreaming!"

The strange boy supported Dong Yong, and he rushed out the door and shouted: "Shoutiangou, where is the Nitianyingying!"

Dong Yong looked up at him in surprise, "Who are you calling?"

A snow-white fine dog broke in through the window, bit the willow spirit by the neck and pressed him to the ground, a silver-eyed golden-winged eagle flew in from the roof, it flapped its wings, and a cloud of blue flames hit it. On Willow Spirit's head.

The Xiaotian dog bit off a piece of flesh from the willow spirit's neck, and then jumped away to avoid the fire.

Xiaotiangou said angrily: "Nitianying, you want to avenge yourself and want to murder me!"

Ni Tianying said lazily: "How come, with my fire control ability, the fire will not burn on you."

Dong Yong couldn't help crying when he saw Xiaotiangou, the strange boy lost his youthful appearance, and turned into the aloof Erlang God again.

The little fat man on the ground hummed twice, as if he was about to wake up.Erlang God commanded Ni Tianying, "Send him home and erase his memory."

"Yes! Master!"

Dong Yong sighed: "It may be that stupid people have stupid blessings. Look at him sleeping like a pig, and he doesn't even know he was caught by a monster."

Erlang Shen asked, "Do you recognize him?"

"I know, the little overlord in the academy seems to be called Fu Baobao, or Fu Baobao?"

The Ni Tianying grabbed Fu Baobao by the collar, flapped its wings and flew away.The willow spirit was burned into a ball of coke, and the room smelled of burnt.

There are no outsiders here anymore, Dong Yong ran to Xiaotiangou and hugged its neck enthusiastically, "Huanxiao! I miss you so much!"

Xiao Tiangou took two steps back, Dong Yong missed it, and fell to the ground all of a sudden.

Dong Yong asked in a daze: "Xiao Tiangou, what are you doing?"

"I should ask you this question. What do you want to do?"

Erlangshen explained indifferently: "Xiaotiangou doesn't recognize you."

Dong Yong sat on the ground and said angrily: "You heartless dog, who worked so hard to cook for you from dawn to dusk? Who bought you dried meat and hydrangea? I sacrificed the roasted pig to Erlang Zhen Jun once, people still remember me until now, you ate so much meat, why don’t you recognize me! Tell me! You are a heartless and heartless dog!”

The dog's face is full of confusion, is this mortal a fool?

Erlangshen said: "Xiaotiangou, step back first! I have something to say to him."

Dong Yong sat on the ground and got angry, and Erlang Shen took Dong Yongfei back to the sun-drying field.

"This place is hundreds of years earlier than your previous life, and Xiaotiangou still doesn't recognize you." Erlangshen explained.

Dong Yong asked: "Then how do you still recognize me?"

"I don't know." Erlang Shen and Dong Yong sat on the ground, "Tell me what happened after you died."

Thinking of the 'tragedy death' in his previous life, Dong Yong couldn't help but have black lines all over his head, "My eyes went dark after that, and I was born not long after that. Then I grew up slowly, nothing special."

Erlangshen said: "I have a question, I have been thinking about it for a long time but I can't figure it out. Why don't you like my third sister? My third sister is gentle and kind, with a beautiful face, and I know that she liked you before."

Dong Yong looked at him seriously, "Do you want to hear the truth?"

"think."

Dong Yong sighed, "Then I'll tell you the truth. I'm a bit special, and I can't forget what happened in my previous life. Before I became Liu Yanchang, my name was Qiao Yu. I heard a fairy tale called Baolian Lantern. The Three Virgins He Fan gave birth to a son named Chen Xiang, and later you pressed the San Shengmu under Mount Hua, and Chen Xiang split the mountain to save his mother."

Erlangshen's heart trembled, Dong Yong's words were completely consistent with the third sister's dream.

"Which man doesn't like the Holy Mother! She is beautiful, kind-hearted, and still a god. But I knew the consequences in advance, and I knew that there would be a price to pay for all of this." Dong Yong smiled, "The biggest obstacle is you, you He's a vicious uncle."

Erlang Shen asked, "Is there any reason other than me?"

"Also... I don't want to make the next ten or even twenty years so hard for the sake of a short-term happiness in one or two years. I take care of the child alone, and I am both a father and a mother. When the child grows up Now, he is going to split the mountain, not to mention the hard work of learning art, maybe you will chase him down, can I, as a father, watch my child live so hard? There is another most important reason, I have great respect for him. The Three Virgins just appreciate the liking between friends, I don't love her."

Erlang Shen was silent for a while, then suddenly said, "Thank you."

Dong Yong was very surprised, "What are you thanking me for?"

"Thank you for saving my third sister."

Dong Yong sneered, "Do you want to thank me for not marrying me?"

"No..." Erlang Shen told him everything that happened after his death, "I think the dream that the third sister had was real. The reason why the dream didn't come true is because you changed her fate. "

Dong Yong was frightened, "I'm just an ordinary person, I can't change the fate of the gods."

Erlang Shen smiled, "Although I don't know the specific reason yet, you must have done it."

Dong Yong looked into his smiling eyes, "You seem to have changed a lot, and you look much more relaxed than before."

Erlangshen grabbed the weeds on the ground, "When my mother was crushed under Peach Mountain, my third sister was still young. She had the impression of her father as a very gentle scholar. She has a good impression of mortal scholars, and I have always had a Vaguely worried. It’s all right now, she doesn’t think about ordinary things. I don’t need to pin her under Mount Hua, let alone ask the Jade Emperor. Being an official in the sky is really beautiful, but I want to stay in Guanjiangkou instead of being subject to the Jade Emperor. Driven, live freely."

Dong Yong understood that Erlang God had been stretching himself a string.He is the master of Xiaotiangou and Nitianying, the second master of Meishan Brothers and Caotou God, and the elder brother of Sanshengmu.He has no way to rely on others, so he has always been tough and fearless.He took all the responsibilities and became everyone's reliance, and he was responsible for everyone.

Dong Yong advised him: "Don't push yourself too hard. If Sanshengmu wants to marry in the future, you can't stop her. That's her choice, not your responsibility. In that dream, Sanshengmu pressed on Mount Hua Next, Liu Yanchang married someone else. This ending is not to make San Shengmu dare not think of the ordinary, but she just saw clearly that love should not be like that."

Erlang Shen didn't respond to Dong Yong's words, he just looked at Dong Yong and said, "I also think you have changed a lot, you used to be very afraid of me."

Dong Yong gave him a 'bah', "I have never been afraid of you! I am the wisdom of a petty citizen, how unreasonable you were in the past! If you cracked me up, thank you! I haven't lived enough yet!"

"Now you are not afraid that I will snap you?"

Dong Yong suddenly wanted to smoke a cigarette, "What am I afraid of! Life is getting harder and harder, and I wish I could go to reincarnate and start a new life immediately! In my previous life, I was the son of an official, and my childhood was very beautiful. I became Liu Yanchang , my parents died early, and I was frightened by you, a heartless god. I will be Dong Yong in this life, okay! My family is so poor that we can’t get rid of it, and even a small Lizheng in the village wants to bully us! It’s hard to get the opportunity to study for free , just that little fat man, he couldn’t even walk, yet he wanted to hit me too. What kind of life is this! "

Erlangshen is in a good mood now, and he offered to help. "You can bring your father to live in Guanjiangkou. When you get there, you can study or be an official if you want."

Dong Yong was very tempted by this proposal. Guanjiangkou was covered by a god, and he could walk sideways on the street.

Dong Yong thought for a while and said, "I'll discuss it with my father when I go home. He is a stubborn old man, and he may not be willing to leave! But whether you want to leave or not, you have to do something for me!"

"what's up?"

"Go to the academy with me tomorrow, and help me beat up that little fat man named Fu Baobao!"