[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

Ding's eldest son's full moon wine was very grand. On the day of the full moon, a water table was set up on a street in front of Ding's house.Anyone who wants to eat comes here.When one table was finished, servants immediately rearranged the dishes and opened a new table, and the servants in the house were so busy that they didn't touch the floor.

The banquet was lively and lively for a whole day. Early the next morning, Ding Da and Mrs. Ding took their children to Notre Dame Palace. They wanted to go to Notre Dame Palace to burn incense, and Liu Yanchang followed.

Ding Da is an honest person. He really spent a lot of money to expand the Notre Dame Palace.

The area of ​​Notre Dame's Palace has more than doubled, and besides the main hall, there are also east and west side halls.There are murals painted on the walls of the hall, which tell the story of the Three Virgins holding the Lotus Lantern and saving the lives of all people.

Behind the main hall are rockeries, octagonal pavilions, corridors and gardens.The plum blossoms planted in the garden are in full bloom all year round, and the literati and poets who came here here have left many famous poems.

Ding Da and Mrs. Ding entered the hall to offer incense, but the child kept crying.Seeing that the child's diaper was wet, Liu Yanchang took the initiative to ask Ying to go out to change the child's diaper.

How could he change diapers? In fact, it was Mrs. Ding's maid who changed the diapers. The child not only urinated, but also pooped a lot.After changing the diaper, the servant girl said to Liu Yanchang: "Mister, please take care of the young master. The diaper is dirty. I will find a place to wash the diaper, otherwise the smell will be really indecent."

Liu Yanchang hugged the child and said, "Go! I'll look at you, young master, don't worry. I remember turning left when I went out, and there seemed to be a house. You can go there and have a look."

As soon as the little maid left with her diaper in hand, San ShengMu appeared. She pointed to the child in Liu Yanchang's arms and asked, "Is this Ding Da's son?"

Liu Yanchang raised the child towards her, "Yes! Isn't he cute?"

The Third Mother smiled and nodded, "Much cuter than his father." She put her hand on the child's forehead, and a little yellow light penetrated from her palm into the child's forehead.Ding Da's son stared wide-eyed, neither crying nor fussing, quietly looking at San ShengMu, serious like a little old man.

Liu Yanchang asked curiously: "What is this?"

"It's a blessing for children."

"What's the use of blessing?"

Sanshengmu withdrew her palm, "It's useless, just to keep him safe, at most make him a little smarter."

Liu Yanchang said very shamelessly: "We are old friends, please bless me too! I think my memory is getting worse and worse recently!"

San ShengMu suppressed a smile and raised her hand to pat him on the forehead, "Okay, I will bless you."

"It's really discriminatory. For other people's children, they gently touch their foreheads, and for me, they slap their heads hard. My head is not a watermelon! Isn't the little boy in my arms a little cuter than me? You don't need to treat them differently, do you?" !"

Sanshengmu said dumbfoundingly: "You! You never said a serious word. I have to tell my second brother to let him take good care of you!"

Erlang God is not in Huashan, how can Liu Yanchang be afraid of him?He pretended to shake his head, "Just go and sue, I'm not afraid of him!"

"Three Holy Mother, Xiaoxian is polite." Hua Guang flashed, and a beautiful woman in a crimson veil landed in front of them.

The Third Holy Mother smiled kindly when she saw her, "It turned out to be the fairy in red. It's been a long time. Is the Queen Mother okay?"

"Your Majesty, everything is fine, the Holy Mother does not need to worry."

The red-clothed fairy looked at Liu Yanchang, then at the child in his arms, and said with a smile: "I thought that the Holy Mother lived a poor life in the lower realm, but I didn't expect that the Holy Mother is not lonely! With a handsome gentleman always by my side, I don't want to live a happy life." sad."

The fairy in red spoke delicately and softly, as if she had been holding a piece of candy in her mouth, her voice was whiny and sweet.

As the saying goes, listen to the sound of gongs and drums, and listen to the sound.Liu Yanchang felt that what the red-clothed fairy said was not pleasant, but San Shengmu hadn't spoken yet, so he couldn't rush to interrupt.

San Shengmu's expression immediately turned cold, "The fairy in red is joking, this is my friend and also my believer."

The red-clothed fairy said resolutely: "I don't know if it's your believers or not. It's just that the sun is shining brightly in broad daylight. Even if the Three Holy Mothers want to get close to your believers, they have to be careful. It's not good to be seen." When she said the word believers, she deliberately emphasized the pronunciation, as if she wanted to point out the ulterior relationship between Sanshengmu and Liu Yanchang.

The Sanshengmu was so angry that her hands shook, she hid her hands in her wide sleeves, and said calmly on the surface: "The fairy is joking, we are just standing under the sun and chatting, I don't even know, it's just a reminiscence between friends. Pay attention to proportion."

The red-clothed fairy covered her mouth in feigned surprise, "I'm really sorry, I misunderstood. It's just... standing under the sun, but she was able to give birth to a son! Hehehe, this is really strange."

Liu Yanchang couldn't listen anymore, he pretended to be naive and said: "Can I not have a son if I stand in the sun? I have to go out to bask in the sun every day? Then will I not be able to have a son in the future? If I can't have a son, Can you have a daughter? Fairy, can you teach me?"

The red-clothed fairy said angrily: "Presumptuous, a mortal dares to say such obscene words in front of this fairy!"

Liu Yanchang said innocently: "Reproduction is the norm, what can't you say? Besides, I didn't say anything! I just thought you knew about childbirth, as if you had given birth yourself. That's why I asked How you were born, just learn from it! You god is so stingy."

The fairy in red was so angry that she waved her hand and made a whisk, and she swung it at Liu Yanchang with red eyes.

Liu Yanchang froze in place as if he had been frozen. The moment Fuchen swung him over, he realized that in the past Erlang God's murderous intent towards him was just to scare him, and this fairy in red was really moving.

The Three Holy Mothers opened the fly whisk, flattened out and hit the fairy in red in the abdomen.The red-clothed fairy was not as good as San Shengmu in terms of Taoism and skill. She felt a sharp pain in her abdomen and fell to the ground involuntarily.

The red-clothed fairy clutched her stomach and said angrily, "Third Holy Mother! That mortal humiliated me, how dare you protect him!"

The Third Holy Mother said coldly: "He is my believer. The fairy killed people in my Holy Mother's Palace, but why do you feel dissatisfied with me?"

The Three Virgins were protecting Liu Yanchang, even if the fairy in red wanted to kill Liu Yanchang, she got up from the ground, put away the dust fly, and flew back to the Heavenly Palace angrily, while remembering the Three Virgins in her heart.

The fairy left, Liu Yanchang let out a long sigh of relief, "This woman is too scary, who is she? So arrogant!"

The Third Mother sighed, "She is the queen mother's personal maid."

"How dare the personal maid be so rampant? I don't study much, so don't lie to me."

The Three Virgins said helplessly: "Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, blue, and purple. These seven fairies are the Queen Mother's personal maids. Red is the first, and the Queen Mother relies on her the most. Who will not give her a good face when they see her? Thousands of years have passed. Her temper is getting more and more arrogant. She has always been at odds with me, and I can't figure out when we got married."

"Of course Liangzi got married from the very beginning, she must be jealous of your beauty!"

Girls like to hear others praise how beautiful they are. When Liu Yanchang said this, Sanshengmu became happy again. She said coquettishly, "What nonsense!"

Liu Yanchang suddenly had some concerns, "Beating a dog depends on the owner. If you beat her today, will the Queen Mother be unhappy?"

The Sanshengmu said proudly: "I have done nothing wrong. Even if the Queen Mother is dissatisfied, she can't do anything to me. Besides, the Queen Mother is still very fair. She will not persecute me because of the dissatisfaction of a little maid. Otherwise, this small conflict is like a child fighting in the eyes of the empress, wouldn't she be self-degrading if she took care of it?"

Liu Yanchang felt relieved, "I understand now that you said that, you are gods, just like officials in the mortal world. People around the emperor and queen, you have to show some face, lest they speak bad things about you in the ears of the empress. But you don't have to take them seriously, after all, your weight is greater than that of the maids."

The Three Virgins smiled and said, "You understand quite right, but we officials are more free than mortal officials."

"Understood, where is the force value!"

Liu Yanchang saw that it was getting late, he didn't expect to wait outside for so long to change a diaper. "I have to go back quickly, Ding Da must be anxious if he can't find his son."

"Go back! Whenever you want to go back to Guanjiangkou, come to Notre Dame Palace and tell me. Xiaotiangou is still waiting in Xueying Palace!"

"Alright! Go ahead!"

Liu Yanchang hurried back to the main hall with the child in his arms, Ding Da and Mrs. Ding were about to come out to look for him!

"Oh! Where did you go with my son! The maid said she came back to look for you after washing the diapers, but she couldn't find her no matter what."

Liu Yanchang stayed where he was and didn't move. It should be that the San Shengmu used a trick to hide her eyes. The maid couldn't see through, so Liu Yanchang was not found.

Liu Yanchang said apologetically, "I ran into an old acquaintance, so I couldn't help but chat for a while."

Ding Da said: "Okay! Come, come, come in and worship the Holy Mother, and let the Holy Mother bless you to go to high school as soon as possible and marry a good wife as soon as possible."

Liu Yanchang: "...I'm already a non-staff member of the Fairyland, so why do I still have to take the imperial examination? I just need to think more about how to become a regular now."

Although he said incoherent words, Liu Yanchang still thanked Ding Da for his kindness, and followed him to the temple to worship and offer some incense money.

After staying in Ding's house for a few more days, Liu Yanchang wanted to go back.Although cooking in Guanjiangkou is a bit tiring, it is something Liu Yanchang likes to do and he will never get tired of it.

Moreover, Xiaotiangou and Meishan brothers never thought him troublesome, and they would always take him with them when they went hunting or fishing.

He himself was also surprised, but in just a few months, did he already like life in Guanjiangkou so much?

Ding Da persuaded him to stay for a while longer, but Liu Yanchang insisted on leaving, and Xiao Tiangou who had been staying in Xueying Palace took him back to Guanjiangkou.

The author has something to say: Liu Yanchang: Fairy in red, you seem to know a lot about giving birth. Are you an obstetrician?

Fairy in Red: ...Come here and die!