[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

Freud believes that dreams are the fulfillment of instinctive desires, and he regards dream analysis as an important way to understand and approach people's subconscious.

Erlang Shen didn't know who Freud was, but he knew that people can't pretend in dreams.The dream world is safe for them, and they will show their true colors in the dream.

In order to get better results, Erlang Shen added a little bit of ingredients to Liu Yanchang's dinner.As soon as it got dark, Liu Yanchang was sleepy. He couldn't wait to climb into bed after washing up, and didn't even make supper for Xiaotiangou.

Erlang God used the method of entering a dream to enter Liu Yanchang's dream.

In the dream, he was still at Guanjiangkou, and Liu Yanchang squatted in the kitchen, not knowing what he was doing.

"Use a whole chicken, wipe off the moisture on the surface of the chicken, and apply salt to the surface of the chicken. Then adjust the ingredients for marinating the chicken."

Liu Yanchang stood up, picked up the plastic seasoning box on the stove, and several bottles and cans. "Cooking wine, oyster sauce, light soy sauce, soy sauce, bay leaves, star anise, what else?"

He suddenly couldn't think of what to put next, and couldn't help taking out a touch-screen phone from his arms.

God Erlang watched from a distance. What Liu Yanchang was holding in his hand was unknown. The back was a silver-white shell, and there was a delicate picture moving on the front. Could it be some magic weapon?

Liu Yanchang found the recipe on his mobile phone, made the seasoning, and then put the chicken in to marinate.

At this time, a white square box suddenly appeared on the ground. Liu Yanchang opened the lid, put the chicken and seasoning in it, and closed the lid.He pressed it twice, then sat on the ground and waited for the chicken to cook.

Erlangshen is very strange, what is this square box?Why did Liu Yanchang put the chicken in the box?

At this time, Liu Yanchang touched the square box and said to himself, "My Supor! I miss you so much! I can't cook chicken with a rice cooker when I come here. Cooking in a wood-burning pot is delicious, but it's delicious. I keep looking at it, afraid of getting burned, it saves time and effort like a rice cooker!"

Erlang was puzzled, rice cooker?what is that?Never heard of such artifacts.

After a while, the chicken was cooked. Liu Yanchang held the chicken leg and pulled it lightly.The chicken legs are detached from the chicken body, the chicken is crispy and juicy, and it looks delicious at first glance.

Liu Yanchang burst into tears while eating the chicken legs, it was so delicious!

Erlang shook his head and sighed, the medicine in Liu Yanchang's dinner not only hypnotized, but also had the effect of seducing the inner desires of mortals.Unexpectedly, Liu Yanchang's obsession was actually a roast chicken!I really don't know whether to praise him for his pure heart or scold him for being worthless.

Erlang Shen's sigh was a bit loud, and Liu Yanchang heard it for some reason.He stood up from the ground holding the drumstick, "Hey! Isn't this Erlang Zhenjun? Why are you in my dream?"

"You know you're dreaming?" Erlang Shen asked with a frown.

Liu Yanchang held up the chicken legs and danced, "How could I not know? I'm too lazy to wake up, and I won't be able to eat roast chicken when I wake up."

Erlangshen looked at his oily hands and frowned in distaste.

Liu Yanchang knew it just by looking at his expression, "What? Do you think I'm burying my hands?" He deliberately smacked his fingers, "It's delicious to eat like me! Do you want to try it?"

Erlang Shen didn't find out about Liu Yanchang's details, so he turned around and wanted to leave the dreamland.Liu Yanchang rushed in front of him to stop him, "Stop! You are in my dream, how dare you be so arrogant!"

Liu Yanchang said quite proudly: "This is a dream constructed by me. Everything is under my command. If I want a rice cooker, I have a rice cooker. If I want a roast chicken, I have a roast chicken! Now you are the Erlang God I imagined. You have to listen to me! Come on! Sing a ditty for the young master!"

Erlang Shen didn't speak, and watched Liu Yanchang die quietly.

Liu Yanchang said angrily: "Hey! You have a temper! How dare you not listen to me! Have you never watched "Inception"? This is a dream I constructed, and you are just a projection in my subconscious !"

Erlang Shen bypassed him and wanted to leave, "I don't understand what you are saying."

Liu Yanchang stretched out his greasy hand, pressed Erlang Shen on the shoulder to stop him. "You old hat who has never seen Iax, I order you now, don't move!"

Erlang Shen looked down at the palm print on his shoulder, then looked up at Liu Yanchang, "I won't move, how do you treat?"

Liu Yanchang grabbed his sleeve and wiped his mouth ferociously, "You wanted me to be a broken sleeve at that time, I will let you experience the feeling of being a broken sleeve today!"

Liu Yanchang put his arms around Erlang Shen's neck, intending to do something wrong to him.It's a pity that he has that heart, but not that height.Erlangshen was a head taller than him, so he grabbed Erlangshen's neck with all his strength and pressed down desperately.

"Yeah!!!! Ha! Huh! Do you dare to bow your head!"

Erlang Shen said coldly: "Let go of your hand."

Liu Yanchang committed a bully behavior, and asked him to let go, but he would not!He stood on tiptoe, pouted his oily mouth and approached the other person's face.

Erlangshen looked at him expressionlessly, wishing to shoot Liu Yanchang to death immediately, but unfortunately shooting him to death in the dream had no effect on Liu Yanchang in reality.

Liu Yanchang moved forward little by little, and when he was almost lost, he himself stopped.

"No! I can't kiss you! If I kiss you, won't I really become a broken sleeve? No, no, I'm a straight man of steel! Even if I want to break my sleeve, I won't look for you, because You are very violent at first glance, you will definitely abuse me three hundred times a day, more vicious and cruel than Snow White's stepmother!"

Liu Yanchang bowed and apologized very solemnly, "I'm sorry, I won't fall in love with you!"

Erlang God frowned, the third eye on his forehead almost opened, "Did you drink before going to bed?"

Liu Yanchang shook his head, "No! Why do you ask that?"

"You're talking nonsense without drinking!"

Liu Yanchang thought for a while, looked into the distance and sighed faintly, "Maybe it's because... I can't beat you in reality, so I should torture you well in my dream!"

Erlang Shen rolled his eyes in a very unrefined manner, if he could abuse people with just one mouth, then his practice all these years is nothing.

Erlang God rolled up his sleeves slowly, Liu Yanchang asked sweetly: "What are you doing with your sleeves? Do you want to learn how to cook with me?"

Erlang smiled brilliantly, "No! I'm going to teach you a principle of being a man. A real man will never speak out."

As soon as the words were finished, Erlang Shen turned into a cold-faced Rakshasa, and he pinned Liu Yanchang to the ground and beat him violently.Although it's in a dream, it's good to be able to vent your anger.

Liu Yanchang screamed and screamed in the side hall, extremely miserable.Roaring Sky Dog thought that there were thieves coming from the Zhenjun Temple, but when it ran into the side hall, it only saw Liu Yanchang dancing around. It turned out to be a nightmare.

Xiaotiangou stretched out its paw and patted Liu Yanchang, "Wake up, wake up. Don't sleep!"

Liu Yanchang was woken up by him, suddenly sat up straight, and sat on the bed panting heavily.

"My mother! It's so scary!" He touched his whole body up and down, "Fortunately, it's a dream, I don't hurt, it's just a dream..."

Xiao Tiangou jumped onto the bed, "What did you dream about?"

Liu Yanchang said very angrily: "I dreamed that your master beat me until my nose was bruised and my face was swollen. I was disfigured. He must be jealous of my beauty!"

"Beautiful... Do you have such a thing... What did you do in your dream? My master is very reasonable, there is no reason, he will not beat you for no reason."

Liu Yanchang was a little embarrassed, he couldn't tell the truth to Xiaotiangou, saying that he wanted to insult Erlangshen, could he?

He blinked and struggled to make up nonsense, "I... I didn't do anything... Besides, things in dreams can't be real, and he didn't really hit me, right?"

Xiao Tiangou nodded, "That's right, the things in the dream cannot be deduced by common sense. It may be because you are too afraid of my master, so you dreamed that he beat you! Don't be afraid, my master will not bully you .You continue to sleep! I'm leaving."

Xiaotiangou left, and the room became quiet again.Liu Yanchang hugged the quilt tightly and lay on the bed, still feeling that the dream was too real and terrifying!

well!Don't think about anything, make a roast chicken tomorrow, and calm yourself down!

Early the next morning, Liu Yanchang got up early to make roast chicken.

The white and tender whole chickens that have been plucked and scalded in boiling water are lined up in a row.He and Xiaotiangou wanted to eat, and the Meishan brothers always came to eat, so they had to prepare more.

When handling chicken, Liu Yanchang chopped off the chicken paws, chicken neck and chicken wings. The hypocritical dog Xiaotiangou disliked the lack of meat in chicken wings and chicken paws, and always secretly threw away the parts with little meat. He especially liked wasting food .

After processing the chicken, put the whole chicken into the pot and stew with the prepared old soup.Based on the principle that food should not be wasted, Liu Yanchang put the remaining chicken neck, chicken feet and chicken wings into another pot to marinate.When it is ready, it can be eaten as a snack.

Liu Yanchang sat on a small bench by the kitchen door and sighed. It would be even better if there were TV dramas and beer!Chicken feet go better with beer!

Erlangshen suddenly appeared at the door of the kitchen. He looked at Liu Yanchang and remained silent.

Liu Yanchang felt that the sun above his head was covered, and couldn't help but look up, "Zhenjun Erlang? Are you... hungry?"

Erlang Shen asked, "Did you sleep well last night?"

The hairs on Liu Yanchang's back stood on end, and Erlang God's expression was still the same as before, but he somehow felt that Erlang God's aura was terrifying today.It was even scarier than the day he turned into Fat Da!

"I slept...it's okay... right!"

"Really?" Erlang Shen asked meaningfully.

"Yes, yes. The environment of the Zhenjun Temple is beautiful. Under the governance of the Zhenjun, Guanjiangkou Road does not pick up things, and the door is not closed at night. I am proud of living in Guanjiangkou, and I am proud of the Zhenjun Temple! Well, that's it!"

Erlang snorted coldly: "Sycophant." After speaking, he shook his sleeves and left.

Liu Yanchang wiped the cold sweat from his forehead, "Is his uncle here? Why are his eyes so terrifying?"

Liu Yanchang, who is careless and lacks imagination, has no idea that there is a way to enter dreams in this world, and he never imagined that the Erlang God he dreamed of last night is the real Erlang God.

The author has something to say: Erlang Shen: What?It's fine if I'm molested by you, but you still dare to despise me in the end!Not even a kiss!

Liu Yanchang: ...