[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

Liu Yanchang sobered up quickly this time, and he woke up on the tenth day of the lunar new year.Because Xiao Tiangou was a little worried, if he didn't wake Liu Yanchang up earlier, he would complain about missing the Shangyuan Festival and the glutinous rice balls for the Shangyuan Festival.

Liu Yanchang was still dizzy when he woke up, and Xiaotiangou sent someone to bring him a bowl of thick hangover tea.Liu Yanchang stared blankly at Xiaotiangou while drinking tea.

"Are you awake?" Erlang Shen walked in, with an eagle on his shoulder.

Liu Yanchang's reaction was still a bit slow, it took him a while to realize that Erlang God was talking to him.He nodded slowly, "Well, I'm awake..."

His black glazed eyes blinked slowly, and his face was still flushed with a hangover blush.It was the first time Erlangshen saw him so well-behaved.

"Xiaotiangou, get ready, let's go to Cuiping Mountain to eliminate demons."

"Yes! Master!"

The silver-eyed golden-winged eagle on Erlangshen's shoulder spoke out, "Master, Xiaotiangou has gained a lot of weight. I'm afraid it won't be able to handle the heavy duty of exterminating demons." The voice was clear and bright, pretending to be a steady eagle.

Xiao Tiangou was furious, "The bald chicken! Who are you talking about?"

"Besides you, is there any other dog named Xiaotian?"

The Xiaotian dog jumped over and bared its teeth at it, a battle between the eagle and the dog was imminent.

Erlang patted the eagle on his shoulder, and then stroked the head of Xiaotiangou.

"Stop messing around, it's time to go."

Liu Yanchang watched them all leave in a daze, he stumbled after them and asked, "Do you want me to follow the army and cook for you?"

Erlangshen paused, "No need, we'll be back soon."

"Oh! Then I wish you success!"

Liu Yanchang thought Erlangshen spoke very quickly, referring to returning within three to five days.Unexpectedly, he just cooked a bowl of noodles for himself, and they came back after eating half a bowl.

Liu Yanchang asked, "What did you leave behind?"

Xiaotiangou said: "No! The demon is gone!"

"……So fast!"

Ni Tianying said: "Didn't the master say it? I'll be back soon."

Liu Yanchang nodded, "This is really fast."

Erlang Shen went back to his own hall, not knowing what he was busy with.Xiao Tiangou lay on the couch again looking at the bamboo slips, Ni Tianying stared at Liu Yanchang's noodle bowl without moving.

Liu Yanchang didn't dare to move his chopsticks after being stared at by the eagle. He asked tentatively, "May I serve you a bowl of noodles?"

Ni Tianying nodded reservedly, "Okay."

The soup is beef broth, and the noodles are scooped up and put into the soup. On top, there is a layer of large chunks of beef tendon meat, sprinkled with chopped green onion and coriander.There are tendons on the tendon of beef. When cooked thoroughly, it has both the toughness of the meat and the softness of the tendons.

Ni Tianying ate up a bowl full of noodles and drank up the soup.It nodded in satisfaction, "The taste is not bad, I finally understand why the Xiaotian dog is getting fatter."

Xiaotiangou lay down on the couch and said angrily: "Get out after eating! It makes my place smell like chicken feathers!"

Ni Tianying took out a handkerchief from under the feathers, and wiped his mouth gracefully. "It's really wild and unruly. After following the master for so long, he still speaks so rudely."

After speaking, he flapped his wings and flew away.

Liu Yanchang squatted in front of Xiaotiangou gossipingly, "Huangxiao, who is it?"

Xiaotiangou said angrily: "The bald chicken picked up by the owner is called Nitianying."

"Xiaotian, against the sky, its name is a pair with you!"

Xiaotiangou looked at him with terrified eyes, "What did you say?"

Liu Yanchang was very knowledgeable about current affairs and said: "His name is not as good-sounding as your name, it is simply far behind!"

Xiaotiangou nodded in satisfaction, "When it comes in the future, don't pay attention to it, and be more aggressive with it."

Liu Yanchang nodded again and again, "Okay, Boss Roaring. Last time you entertained your colleagues, why didn't you invite him? Will it appear that the relationship between colleagues is not harmonious?"

"Are you stupid! I and it are both pets of the owner, and there can only be one who is the most favored. Can I have a good relationship with it?"

Liu Yanchang suddenly realized that this was like a concubine in the harem, both animals wanted to be Erlang's heart. "I understand. It turns out that it is a scheming bird, trying to take Erlang God's favor away from you! I will definitely treat it badly in the future!"

Xiao Tiangou nodded in satisfaction, "It's good that you understand, like today, you shouldn't treat it to noodles and add so much meat to its bowl!"

Liu Yanchang was very good at it. He took all the beef tendon meat out of the pot and handed it to Xiao Tiangou, "How can it compare to yours? There are noodles under the meat! It's not delicious at all! The most delicious meat I'll keep it all for you!"

Xiao Tianquan nodded in satisfaction, and lowered his head to enjoy his beef tendon.

After eating the meat, Xiaotiangou strolled to find Erlangshen.

Erlangshen was laying out the chess record in front of the chessboard at this time, Xiao Tiangou lay beside him, resting his head on Erlangshen's lap.

Erlangshen held the chess record in one hand, and stroked Xiaotiangou's belly with the other.

"What did you eat again?"

"Eat beef tendon."

Erlang Shen asked: "What do you think of Liu Yanchang?"

Xiao Tianquan stretched out his paws and scratched his ears, "I can't tell, he is different from ordinary people. He is a scholar, but he loves to cook, and he is not interested in fame and wealth. He is happy every day, and he doesn't know that he What are you having fun with. And it's kind of weird..."

"What's weird?"

Xiao Tiangou said in a tangled voice: "It stands to reason that San Shengmai was born so beautiful, and she is still a celestial being with great powers. Which mortal man would not be tempted to see her? Even if he is not tempted, he must have some reverence for the gods. But Liu Yanchang She's like... as if she's treating her brother, and I've seen Liu Yanchang ask Sanshengmu to help her carry the bag of rice!"

Erlangshen crushed the chess piece in his hand, "How dare he make Sanmei work?"

"Master, calm down. Doesn't this mean that Liu Yanchang has no unreasonable thoughts about the Three Holy Mothers? Besides, the strength of the Three Holy Mothers is indeed greater than that of Liu Yanchang..."

"...Are you my dog ​​or Liu Yanchang's dog."

"is yours……"

Erlang slowly sorted the black and white chess pieces and put them in place, "I don't have to look at Liu Yanchang from now on. I hired him at the beginning to see what kind of person he is, and also to separate him from Third Sister. Since he and Third Sister really If there is no love between a man and a woman, then... next time if he wants to see Third Sister, you can send him there!"

"Yes, Master."

Liu Yanchang felt that Erlang God's attitude towards him had changed subtly recently, from indifference to scrutiny.

For example, right now, when he was pickling plums, Erlang Shen suddenly sat beside him and stared at him.

There is a special skill in pickling this plum. Hold the two ends of the plum, and make a left and right cut on the plum meat to carve continuous zigzag patterns.Then squeeze out the plum core from the gap, and gently squash the plum. The plum blooms like a flower, like a small chrysanthemum in full bloom.

Use a little salt to remove the sourness of the flattened plum cakes, then put the plums in a jar, put a layer of sugar in one layer, another layer, and another layer of sugar.After marinating in this way for a few months, the plum cakes are ready to eat when they turn golden brown.

Erlang Shen picked up a plum, "Where do the plums come from in this season?"

Liu Yanchang worked with his head down, without raising his head, "Brother Meishan found them, I don't know where they got a lot of plums. They don't like to eat them, Xiaotian dogs don't like them, and grass head soldiers don't like them either." Such a large pile of plums will go bad after a long time, I have to pickle the plums quickly, and when the pickling is done, I will give some to the San Shengmu and the Fourth Princess for them to eat as snacks."

Erlangshen looked at him very delicately, Liu Yanchang felt the silent scrutiny even with his head down.

"What, what's wrong? Can't the Three Virgins and Dragons eat pickled plums?"

"Where are you from?" Erlang Shen asked.

"I'm from Qingzhou...does this have anything to do with eating plums?"

Erlangshen held the plums with his slender and strong fingers, as if he was holding a unparalleled pearl, "This method of pickling plums is called carving plums, and it is widely spread in Nanzhao area. How did you learn it?"

Liu Yanchang looked at him contemptuously, "Why can't I! Don't I still make roasted pigs to worship you?"

God Erlang threw the plums back into the bowl casually, and said playfully: "Girls in Nanzhao have learned to carve plums since they were young. Before they get married, they must have a plate of carved plums in the meeting gift to their in-laws to show their ingenuity. You can carve plums." What do you want to show?"

Liu Yanchang was aroused by his strange yin and yang aura, so he picked up a handful of plum stones and threw them at him, "I have to show my fucking ingenuity, I want to marry Roaring Dog, okay! You will be my husband from now on! You Quickly find me an aquatic animal to be my old lady!"

How could Erlang God be hit by him? When the plum core hit him, he dissipated instantly like water vapor.

Xiaotiangou has good ears, it heard Liu Yanchang's words from a long distance, and hurried over and shouted: "I don't want to marry you! I don't like men!"

Liu Yanchang missed Erlangshen, and was demolished by Xiaotiangou, he couldn't be more angry.He scolded: "Fuck your grandma! Treat me like you! I'm still reproductively isolated from you!"

Erlangshen returned to the hall. There was no one else here, so he couldn't help laughing out loud.It is indeed very interesting to tease Liu Yanchang when he has nothing to do. He thinks that he will communicate with Liu Yanchang frequently in the future.

However, Erlang God still has some doubts. Liu Yanchang, an ordinary person who grew up in Qingzhou, why would he cook special food in other regions?Where did he learn it?

Erlang Shen had investigated Liu Yanchang. He was a talented scholar who was born in a poor family. Except this time when he went to Beijing to rush for the exam, he had never traveled far.A scholar, but likes to go into the kitchen.It's really strange that I can cook southern dishes and seafood even though I've only been to the capital.

Erlangshen suddenly felt the need to deepen his understanding of Liu Yanchang, so he decided to use the method of entering a dream, and enter Liu Yanchang's dream tonight to see what he was thinking.

The author has something to say: Notice: In the next chapter, Liu Yanchang will make a big death, please be vigilant! ! !