[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

Stepping on the national teacher with one foot, Tang Seng raised his chin at Monkey King.

Monkey King walked up the steps and stood in front of the emperor, "Your Majesty! Please stamp the clearance document!"

The emperor of Wuji Kingdom trembled and shouted: "You, are you going to rebel?"

Tang Seng stepped on the head of the national teacher again, "You figure it out! I want you to stamp a few seals with jade seals! And rebellion? Our Tang Dynasty is so big and rich. If I want to rebel, I just stay in the It’s fine if I don’t live in my hometown, what am I going to do in this small place like yours? The poor monk is a man of faith, and the poor monk wants to learn scriptures! You high-ranking emperors and officials cannot understand the noble sentiments of the poor monk.”

Tang Seng complained a lot, Sun Wukong slapped the table and shouted: "Did you hear what my master said? Hurry up and stamp the clearance document!"

As long as there is no rebellion, the emperor doesn't mind letting Tang Seng and others go.Trembling, he opened the mahogany lacquered gold box containing the jade seal.But the national teacher, lying on the ground with footprints all over his face, shouted: "Your Majesty! You can't let them go! Otherwise, where is your majesty?"

Tang Seng stepped on his face again, "You are very strong, I appreciate you! But today I want to teach you a truth, hindering our westward progress, just like the wheel hindering the progress of history! You are so stubborn, sooner or later You will be crushed into ruts by the wheels!"

Sun Wukong took out his golden cudgel and knocked on the table, he asked the emperor, "Hey hey hey! What are you looking at! Is the national teacher the emperor or you are the emperor, why do you listen to him! Hurry up and stamp, we are in a hurry !"

Sun Wukong's golden cudgel weighed [-] catties. He didn't use much force, and the table in front of the emperor was knocked down.

Looking at the broken table, the emperor nodded again and again in fright, "Okay, okay! This is the seal, this is the seal!"

He stood up, put the certificate of customs clearance on the throne, and solemnly pressed several seals with the jade seal in his arms.

Passing the certificate of customs clearance to Monkey King, the emperor asked cautiously: "Holy Monk, look, is it okay to build it like this?"

Monkey King clicked his tongue in disgust, "It took up several pages of our paper..."

The emperor's heart was about to jump into his throat, what a pity!They won't use this as an excuse to make other troubles, will they?

Wukong dried the cinnabar seal, "Forget it! Who told us to be merciful! Today I won't bother with you about such trivial matters."

He walked down the steps and handed the certificate to Tang Seng, "Master, we can go west."

Tang Seng put the documents into his arms, "Success! Let's go!"

He moved his feet away from the face of the national teacher, and the emperor and courtiers were slightly relieved.Why!In any case, as long as the evil star is willing to leave!

Unexpectedly, Tang Seng's feet hadn't stepped out of the threshold of the hall, but he turned around again.

"I suddenly remembered something!"

Sweat dripped down the emperor's forehead, is this evil star going to kill someone?

He asked in a trembling voice, "Holy Monk... What else can Holy Monk do?"

Tang Seng said regretfully: "Yesterday, I competed with the national teacher for literary talent. I didn't expect that I lost. I'm not convinced! So, Your Majesty, I want to compete with the national teacher again!"

The emperor thought it was fine not to kill people, but Tang Seng wanted to compete, so would the national teacher be willing?If the national teacher is unwilling, they can't force it, right?

Fortunately, although the national teacher was beaten by Tang Seng, his fighting spirit was not extinguished!

"Compare! Do you think I'm afraid of you? Your Majesty, I want to compete with them and use my knowledge to completely defeat them! Let them be convinced!"

The emperor thought sadly: My national teacher!Where do you have any literary talents!

He forced a smile and said: "Since the national teacher also agrees to the competition, then... the great Tang monk, what do you want to compare?"

Tang Seng said: "It's better than writing poetry! This time I will come first!"

The emperor said: "The holy monk first invites you."

Tang Seng stood still and did not speak.Silence... the whole court was oppressively silent.

The courtiers who had already prepared to listen respectfully murmured in their hearts, this holy monk is also an idiot!

After a short silence, Tang Seng said to the emperor: "Your Majesty, I have finished reading my poem!"

"You... have you read it?"

Tang Seng said with a cold face: "Read it!"

Sun Wukong thumped the ground with his golden cudgel, "Yes! It's over! Is your majesty getting old, so your ears are not so good?"

The emperor grinned dryly, "Yes, yes! It's over. It's the teacher's turn..."

Tang Seng: "Huh?"

Only then did the emperor understand Tang Seng's meaning. He pursed his lips and announced directly, "This time, the Great Tang Seng wins!"

The national teacher blushed with anger, "He didn't write poems at all! Since it's a competition, why don't you let me write poems? It's not fair!"

The little white dragon said loudly: "Why is it unfair? Last time you didn't allow us to compose poems, we won't let you compose poems this time, it's even! As for my master's silence, it means that what you did last time Poetry is simply nonsense. My master can't write poetry of that level, so we just keep silent so that you won't feel ashamed."

The emperor and all civil and military officials: All right!This is also a different kind of fairness.

Regardless of whether it is literature or martial arts, Tang Seng won the national teacher of the Wuji Kingdom, but he felt that it was boring.

How absurd this black-bone chicken country is, who is right and who is wrong at a glance, they just want to turn it upside down.Although Tang Seng has won now, he has also become a member who turned black and white.

"Apprentices, let's go!"

Sun Wukong put away the golden cudgel, and Yang Jian and others turned around and walked out.

As soon as he walked to the door, the sky shone with golden light, and an auspicious cloud descended.

Tang Seng frowned, "Manjusri Bodhisattva!"

Manjusri Bodhisattva stood on the auspicious cloud, with some condemnation in his eyes. "Sanzang, how could you act so recklessly?"

Tang Seng smiled, "I do things so neatly, you don't need to praise me!"

"..." Manjusri Bodhisattva, "I didn't praise you."

Tang Seng rubbed his chin, "Don't you think I'm procrastinating? Or I'm really trying to usurp the throne! At that time, I will establish Buddhism as the state religion, recruit more believers, and contribute to your cause?"

Manjushri sighed, "Don't deliberately misinterpret my meaning."

There was no smile on Tang Seng's face, he asked impatiently: "What's the matter with you? Don't play charades with me, it's very annoying!"

Manjusri Bodhisattva said: "I am here to subdue the monsters."

He pointed to the national teacher on the ground and shouted: "Have you not shown your original shape?"

The national teacher pursed his mouth, and he curled up and turned into a huge green-haired lion.

The emperor and civil and military officials in the hall turned pale with fright, the national teacher was actually a lion spirit!Especially the emperor, thinking that he and the lion spirit had been facing each other day and night, entering and exiting together, the sweat on the emperor's face was like rain.

Tang Seng stared at the dead fish eyes and said: "Is this your mount? You actually let your little lion wait here to trouble us! Tell me! Did you just hide in the clouds to watch the excitement?"

The green-haired lion ran behind Manjusri Bodhisattva and hid. The Bodhisattva smiled and said, "Don't talk nonsense! There is a reason why the lion went down to earth, but it has nothing to do with your going west. The emperor of the Wuji Kingdom Shanzhai monk Buddha, I wanted to save him Achieving a golden body and a fruitful fruit..."

Tang Seng interrupted him, "I won't listen, I won't listen! I don't want to listen to your bad excuses! Go and explain to the emperor and the people trapped here! We're going west!"

Manjusri Bodhisattva: "Why don't you have any patience..."

"My patience has long been consumed by you! You know how to fix things for me every day! You count on your fingers, the monsters and ghosts along the way are basically you who came down to earth in private!"

Manjusri Bodhisattva looked around, "Keep your voice down!"

Tang Seng imitated the arrogant expression of the national teacher, snorted, walked around Manjushri Bodhisattva and went out.

Manjusri Bodhisattva: "..."

Passing by the green-haired lion, Tang Seng stared at him silently.

The lion patted the hem of Manjusri Bodhisattva's clothes, and the Bodhisattva asked Tang Seng, "What are you doing looking at him? You beat him up already, are you still angry?"

Tang Seng shook his head solemnly, his eyes fixed on the green-haired lion, "No! I suddenly discovered that he is quite cute in his original form."

Manjushri Bodhisattva:? ? ?

lion:! ! !

Tang Seng squatted in front of the green-haired lion. The lion lowered its big head, trying to squeeze its big body into Manjushri's clothes.

Tang Seng pulled its tail and dragged him out, "Little lion! I'll go play with you after I finish learning the scriptures!"

He looked up at Bodhisattva, "I'll borrow your mount to play for two days then, don't be stingy."

The green-haired lion roared at him, and Tang Seng smiled and said, "Okay! I'll take it as your promise!"

Lion: Be sober, I didn't promise you!

No matter how the lion roared, Tang Seng pretended that both the lion and Manjusri agreed.

He took his apprentices and left the palace. As for how Manjusri Bodhisattva would explain to the emperor of Wuji Kingdom, he didn't want to know at all.

Leaving the Wuji country smoothly, Tang Seng didn't say a word along the way.

Sun Wukong approached Yang Jian and asked, "What's wrong with Master? He looks a little depressed."

Yang Jian smiled and shook his head, "He's fine, he just feels disheartened."

Tang Seng heard the conversation between Yang Jian and Sun Wukong, and he sighed, "Why did I agree to learn from the scriptures! The road is long and there are always fights! I'm a little tired of this kind of life..."

Zhu Bajie ran to Tang Seng's side to encourage him, "Master, cheer up! When you meet a monster, if you don't hit him, he will eat you! We can't be too honest!"

Xiao Bailong also leaned over and said: "Master, don't worry! You don't want to fight anymore, don't you still have us? If there is something to do, disciples, you definitely don't need to do it!"

Tang Seng sighed: "Hey! You are still young, you must know that everything can't be solved by violence alone, there are many roundabout ways! It's not good to always hit people... Next time we meet monsters, you will change yours." A softer way to treat them, understand?"

The apprentices all nodded to show that they were taught.

After leaving the Wuji Kingdom for more than half a month, Tang Seng looked at the withered and yellow leaves and counted the days. "The Mid-Autumn Festival is coming soon, let's go further and find a place to make mooncakes."

Hearing that there are delicious ones, Zhu Bajie gets excited, "Master, I want to eat stuffed bean paste!"

Xiao Bailong curled his lips, "What's so delicious about bean paste? Master, I want to eat meat stuffing!"

Tang Seng: "...apprentice, you can't eat meat, only vegetarian."

Xiao Bailong turned his head away sullenly, "Oh! Then I won't eat moon cakes, I don't like sweet ones...I want to eat salty ones!"

Tang Seng: "That's easy to say, I'll make leek and egg stuffing for you!"

Xiaobailong: I don’t even want to eat it, what should I do...

The masters and apprentices were gossiping, and a child with a bare buttocks and a red bellyband appeared on the road ahead.

Pointing to Tang Monk, he asked, "Are you a monk from the Eastern Tang Dynasty? I heard that your companion magic weapon is very powerful, show it to me!"

The child is Yuxue and cute, and when he speaks, he raises his head high, but he is not annoying to look at.

Tang Seng said: "Your news is too late. I don't have a companion magic weapon, so I just said it to coax other monsters!"

The child became angry at once, "You monk is dishonest at first glance! You must have treasures but you refuse to show them. Seeing that I am young, you just made up some nonsense to coax me! I don't care, I just want to buy it today. If you don’t take out the magic weapon when you see it, I’ll set you on fire!”

Sun Wukong turned his head and asked Tang Seng: "Master, this goblin has a big temper! My old grandson never knows what it means to be tactful! You told me not to do anything, so how do you solve him?"

Tang Seng: You ask me, who should I ask?snort!Isn't it easy to deal with this kind of brat?

Or give it a shot...