[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

Of course Emperor Haotian couldn't hear Qiao Yu's thoughts, he sat there and thought for a while, "I remember, you used the name Optimus Prime before, right?"

Qiao Yu had an ominous premonition, "I used it..." He tried his best to clarify for himself, "But when I named this name, it was like a joke, and I didn't think much about it."

Emperor Haotian shook his head, "I think this name is very good. The word Qingtian is very imposing and courageous. Why don't you call it Emperor Qingtian? What do you think?"

Qiao Yu: "..." No way!I don't want such a title!I!No!want!

The Jade Emperor felt that this title was good, "This title is good, if it is too low, it is easy to be underestimated, and it is suitable to be a great emperor."

Everyone's expressions were about to crack. He almost destroyed the world just now. He is even more cruel than a saint, okay?He is so awesome that even a saint dares to threaten him, no matter what he seals up, he won't be underestimated, okay?What is the purpose of directly sealing a great emperor, making him usurp the throne and rebel?

Qiao Yu is also very dissatisfied with this title. My previous pseudonym was Optimus Prime, but now I am Optimus Prime. May I ask what is Optimus Prime?My compound surname?So my real name is Zhuzi?

Seeing him pouting, Yang Jian guessed Qiao Yu's thoughts. He secretly poked Qiao Yu, whether he liked the title or not, at least gave him a reaction.

It's all my fault that I just said that the title is random, and now it seems annoying to be picky about the title.Qiao Yu smiled, and sincerely thanked Emperor Haotian and Jade Emperor for giving him such a cool title.

The matter of the title is over, the three religions and the heavenly court re-signed the list of gods, but this time the list of gods is different from the list of gods hanging in Chaoge. officer, and has no other special meaning.

In this simple military tent, the method of selection to enshrine the gods was roughly determined in this way.There are still many details to discuss about Fengshen, but these details can be discussed later.The more important thing now is to receive and guide the saints.

The Saints of the Three Religions are still bothering Qiao Yu now!Emperor Haotian doesn't necessarily like Qiao Yu either.Finally, the Jade Emperor began to ask for benefits for his niece and daughter-in-law.

"Today is the day when Qiao Yu was conferred the title of Emperor Qingtian and got engaged. I don't have any magic weapon to give, so I will give you a mansion in the heavenly court!"

Qiao Yu quickly thanked, "Thank you, Your Majesty."

The Jade Emperor made a start, and the Queen Mother also said: "I have nothing to give, so I will give you a basket of flat peaches!"

One for the mansion, one for flat peaches, these two gifts are not light.Starting with the Jade Emperor and the Queen Mother, Emperor Haotian and the saints of the Three Religions had no choice but to send out big gifts.

The most miserable ones were Jieyin and Zhunti. When it was their turn, the saints of the Three Religions vented their anger on both of them.

Master Tongtian frowned and said: "We have a new emperor in the East, didn't you two express it?"

Anyway, the face has been torn apart, how could Jieyin and Zhunti give Qiao Yu a congratulatory gift?

Zhunti snorted coldly, "Master Tongtian is getting old, and his memory has also deteriorated. We have already given congratulatory gifts!"

Lao Tzu said slowly: "Just now it was a gift for engagement, but now it is a gift for conferring gods. They have different meanings, how can they be confused?"

Jieyin and Zhunti were so angry that they were about to spit fire, they picked up the magic weapon and stood up, the saints and disciples of the three religions also took out the magic weapon one after another.The atmosphere became tense again, Qiao Yu snapped his fingers, and the knuckles made a crunching sound.

Everyone stood on the opposite side of themselves, and Qiao Yu's strength was unfathomable. Jieyin and Zhunti had no choice but to take out the Seven Treasure Tree and the Qinglian Treasure Banner, and they threw the two magic weapons on the table and left.

Master Tongtian brought the flag and Qibao Miaoshu over, and he said to Qiao Yu: "I will keep the two things for you first, and I will give them to you after I find our master Hongjun to refine them, otherwise you won't be able to use them. "

Qiao Yu waved his hand generously, "Third Master, these two things are given to you! You three teachers will use them in turn, and it's useless for me to use these magic weapons."

Qiao Yu's humble attitude made Master Tongtian feel better. His third master is his third master. I forgive him for not daring to disrespect me!

Master Tongtian said: "Take what is given to you! This is the magic weapon of a saint. You won't be able to use it if you don't refine it. Otherwise, I won't hold it for you!"

Yuanshi Tianzun also said: "When you first came to heaven, these things are always available."

Master Tongtian echoed: "Yes! Even if you don't need it, you must hang the Qinglian Baose flag high in the heavenly court, so as to kill those two people!"

Qiao Yu: ...Thank you, Third Master, for your love for me!

In the end, Qiao Yu insisted on giving the Qinglian Baose Banner to the leader of Tongtian, and he only needed the Qibao Miaoshu.The Four Sages were on the list of gods, and Bi Xiao was also broken by the introduction. The leader of Tongtian has been helping Qiao Yu to get benefits. Qiao Yu can't be so thick-skinned as to take away both treasures.

Moreover, hanging the Qinglian Baose flag in the heaven is really too hateful, if the third master wants to hang it, then let him hang the flag outside Biyou Palace!

The annoying person is gone, but everyone is about to face the matter of conferring the gods, so they will inevitably be a little absent-minded when drinking and chatting.The engagement banquet ended early, and everyone went back wherever they should. In the end, only Twelve Golden Immortals, Zhao Gongming, Sanxiao, and Shi Tianjun stayed to help.

Taking advantage of no one paying attention to him, Qiao Yu hurriedly apologized to Yang Jian, "Sorry, the engagement party seems to be very unsuccessful, I let you down..."

"It doesn't seem like it! Apart from the toast between the two of us, what other things at the engagement banquet are related to the marriage?"

Qiao Yu stammered and said, "I still have to receive gifts..."

Yang Jian: "..." This day is unbearable!

Qiao Yu really wanted to slap himself, why did he have to slap him at this moment!He quickly explained to Yang Jian, "I also value our affairs, but if I want to keep them, I have to make up a reasonable excuse, right? Don't be angry, I promise this is the last time, and I will definitely ask you everything in the future Views."

What can Yang Jian do?I can only forgive him!He sighed helplessly, "Don't apologize, I can understand you."

Qiao Yu was so touched, he rushed over to hug Yang Jian, and rubbed his big head on his shoulder, "You are so kind!"

Yang Jian coughed twice, patted him on the shoulder, and got him up.

Qiao Yu raised his head and let go of Yang Jian. He turned around and found that everyone was looking at the two of them.

Qiao Yu felt that their gaze made him a little creepy, "What are you looking at?"

Bi Xiao dragged the broken leg, sat down and said, "You two are actually a couple! Why didn't I find out?"

Qiao Yu: Because you don't have the soul of a rotten girl...

Nezha said: "Ha! Mistress Bixiao is so stupid! I have already seen that Brother Yang and His Majesty are not normal!" He raised his chin and asked Master Taiyi, "Master, you said that heaven does not allow gods to think about the world, so what about that?" How can I marry a wife in the future?"

Everyone laughed, Master Taiyi laughed and said: "How can you be so sure that you can go to heaven to be an official? Besides, you are only so old that you are thinking about marrying a wife!"

Nezha raised his head and said, "I have such a good relationship with His Majesty, how could I be a general in heaven! What if I want to marry a wife? I'm planning ahead, I don't want to marry a wife until I'm [-] or [-]!"

Jiang Ziya, who only married a wife in his seventies and eighties: ...

Everyone who is over seventy and eighty and has no family: ...

Nezha is too capable of causing hatred. Qiao Yu was afraid that he would be beaten to death by others, so he quickly stood up to smooth things over, "Nezha is still a child! He doesn't understand anything, so don't laugh at him. The selection of officials is just a rough idea. I have to discuss with the two great emperors in the sky about how to do it specifically! Don’t think too much, everyone!”

Yun Xiao said: "Although you have been named the Great Emperor, you have no one to use, and in the end you can only become a decoration. I don't care what others think, but don't worry, I, Yun Xiao, will definitely go to the heaven to help you."

Qiao Yu cupped his hands and thanked: "Thank you, Empress Yunxiao, as an official in the Heavenly Court, the future is not clear yet, I don't know what the future will be like."

Qiong Xiao, who is usually not very talkative, said: "You don't have to worry about the future. This is our own decision and has nothing to do with you." our own business.

After Sanxiao finished speaking, the others expressed that they wanted to go to heaven together, and the one who responded most positively was Nezha, who wanted to be a general.

Qiao Yu was really touched. When everyone was not optimistic, the friends of the State Teachers Bureau were willing to choose a path with an uncertain future for themselves. What a precious friendship this is.

Qiao Yu said stammeringly: "This, really, thank you so much! I didn't expect that you would be willing to go to heaven with me to be an official! I thought, I thought you would let me go through the back door and remove you from the selection quota! "

Our Lady of Golden Light was as sharp as ever, "Put away your tears! We just look at you pitifully, and are afraid that you will be bullied! Take advantage of the present, and get rid of Ji Fa as soon as possible, we don't want to waste time in Qishan!" "

Qiao Yu nodded, "Okay! Everyone, get ready, we're going to attack Xiqi City!"

Everyone actively attacked Xiqi with the feeling that they could rest earlier after completing the counter-insurgency task.

Qiao Yu pulled Bo Yi Kao out, changed him into a heroic and shining armor, and then pushed him out cruelly, letting him take the lead.Then Guangchengzi sacrificed Fantianyin and punched a big hole in the gate of Xiqi.

Bo Yikao shouted at Xiqi with a big horn that had disappeared for a long time, roughly meaning that you put down your weapons, hand in your guns and don't kill, and there will be no good end for you to follow Ji Fa!

The soldiers and common people in Xiqi had a deep friendship with Bo Yikao. When he was the prince of Xiqi, the common people liked this prince who was gentle and kind.

Later, when Ji Fa succeeded to the throne, the people of Xiqi didn't think there was anything wrong with it. After all, Ji Fa had a good reputation at that time, and everyone just felt sorry for Bo Yikao who was far away in Chaoge.

Later, after Ji Fa succeeded to the throne, he immediately ordered to attack the Yin and Shang Dynasties. No matter whether they were high-ranking officials or ordinary people, no one liked to fight.Especially when the acne happened later, what Ji Fa did was even more disappointing. Until then, Ji Fa completely lost popular support, and everyone hoped that Bo Yi Kao could return to Xiqi to preside over the overall situation.

Qiao Yu understands the thoughts of the people in Xiqi very well, and so does Bo Yikao.After he finished shouting with a loudspeaker, the resistance of the Xiqi soldiers seemed to be tickling.The soldiers of Yin and Shang rushed into the city, and the soldiers of Xiqi resisted symbolically, and then dropped their weapons one after another.

Qiao Yu and Bo Yikao entered Xiqi City. They walked to the gate of the palace city. Qiao Yu said to Bo Yikao: "Go in! You are home."

Bringing the soldiers into the palace city again, Bo Yikao felt nothing in his heart.There is no pleasure of avenging a big revenge that I imagined before, and there is no elation of a winner.He just felt tired, because when he got back what belonged to him, no one accompanied him to share the joy of victory.

In the main hall, Ji Fa was the only one sitting upright on the upper seat.

"You're here." Ji Fa said this meaningless greeting.

Bo Yikao said lightly: "Yes, I'm here." He paused, feeling that he had nothing to say to this cold-blooded brother.

He thought for a while, and said quickly: "I won't kill you, but from now on, you are no longer His Majesty of Xiqi. Come here! Take him down."

Ji Fa was stunned, he thought that his elder brother would have a lot to say to him, maybe he would question himself, maybe insult him, but he didn't expect that Bo Yikao didn't take him seriously at all.

The soldiers tugged on Ji-fa's arm and dragged him off the throne.Only then did Ji Fa come back to his senses, and he scolded hysterically: "Bo Yikao, don't be complacent! I am the Lord of Destiny, and my father's favorite monarch is me, not you! I am King Xiqiwu, and you are just lying A dog that wags its tail and begs for mercy in front of King Zhou! Bo Yikao, I will not let you go! I will not let you go—”

Bo Yikao didn't take Ji Fa's words to heart at all, he just slowly stepped up to the throne and cleaned up the mess left by Ji Fa in front of him.

With Boyi Kao around, the situation in Xiqi soon stabilized.Qiao Yu received an urgent battle report in Xiqi, Bigan also won in Chongcheng, Chong Heihu committed suicide, and the rebellion in the north was also put down.

The battles in the west and north are over, Qiao Yu intends to take King Zhou's body back to Chaoge, and he still has a lot of things to explain to Yin Jiao and Yin Hong.

But before he left, he wanted to tell Bo Yikao about the Nine-Tailed Fox Association's ascension to the gods.

"What? Xiaojiu went to heaven to become a fairy!" Bo Yikao said with a happy face, "Great, Xiaojiu is not dead, Xiaojiu is still alive!"

Qiao Yu patted him on the shoulder, "Don't get excited, she won't be able to get married if she becomes a god in heaven, because it's a serious crime to think of everything!"

The smile on Bo Yikao's face froze for a while, and after a while, Bo Yikao said: "It's okay, it's fine if she can live well."

Qiao Yu clicked his tongue, "Oh, man! When you heard that you can't get married, your face immediately changed. Sure enough, no matter how deep the love is, it can't resist your filthy thoughts."

Bo Yikao: "...I didn't!"

Qiao Yu put on an expression that everyone is a man and I can understand you, "Don't worry, I am Emperor Qingtian now, and I will try my best to find a satisfactory solution for you. But...you want to get married, Then you may have to go to heaven to be an official..."

Bo Yikao was flattered, "Who? Me? I, I can't do it."

Qiao Yu waved his hand, "You haven't written the horoscope yet, so don't worry. Besides, I am Qingtian Emperor who selects the officials of the Heavenly Court! If anyone questions how you got into the sky, you can spit it out, Qing and I What kind of friendship is the Great Emperor! Can you compare?"

Qiao Yu's method sounded very unreliable, Bo Yikao sighed and shook his head, "Oh! I'd better figure it out myself!"

After leaving Xiqi, Qiao Yu followed the army back to Chaoge.

King Zhou's coffin was ushered into the palace city, and Qiao Yu saw Yin Jiao and Yin Hong cry a while before he secretly met them and revealed his identity.

The young and mature Yin Jiao couldn't help complaining, "Your Majesty, how could you lie to us like this!"

Qiao Yu waved his hands again and again, "I am not Your Majesty now, don't call me that. From now on, you are Your Majesty."

Yin Jiao was stunned, "I'm not ready yet..."

Qiao Yu poured chicken soup into him like an old father in his seventies and eighties, "Son, not everything in this world can make you ready. You have to believe that everything happens at the most appropriate time. Maybe sometimes these Things didn't have a good result, but you have to work hard to arrange a happy ending for the things that happened at the right time."

Yin Jiao smiled and nodded, "I see, thank you!"

Qiao Yu also smiled and said, "Of course, if you want to go to heaven to be an official after you die, I will come to you."

The Twelve Golden Immortals, Zhao Gongming and others returned to the cave first, and Qiao Yu bid farewell to his friends in the mortal world.After that, he went to heaven with Yang Jian.

Now that he is the hr of the Heavenly Court, the first thing Qiao Yu does after going to heaven is to find out about the bureaucratic structure of the Heavenly Court from the Jade Emperor.The priesthood in heaven has been arranged reasonably, and Qiao Yu doesn't want to change it. What he has to do now is to select officials.

The Holy Mother of the Golden Spirit, Sanxiao, and Immortal Yuding and Immortal Huanglong, who had just left for a short time, were the first to join the job. They participated in the selection of officials of the Heavenly Court as employees of the Human Resources Department of the Heavenly Court.

All the disciples of the three religions received the invitation, and most of them passed the selection and were placed in suitable positions.The remaining small part did not go to heaven because Yuanshi Tianzun and Tongtian leader greeted Qiao Yu. They said that these disciples had other things and could not go to heaven to work.For example, Duobao Taoist who stopped teaching, and Manjusri Guangfa Tianzun who explained teachings and others.

In addition to the disciples of the Three Religions, many mortals were also selected.Compared with the process-like selection method for the disciples of the Three Religions, selecting mortals is more troublesome and more interesting.

For example: Boyi Kao.

With a pen in one hand and a small notebook in the other, Qiao Yu asked, "Bo Yi Kao, please tell me what are your specialties?"

Bo Yikao said calmly: "I am good at temperament, and I used to be a temperament teacher at Chaoge Youxue. Later, I served as the head of the training department of the National Teachers Bureau, and got along well with many officials in the Heavenly Court. I believe..."

The Holy Mother of Golden Light said sharply, "Please don't get close, we are all very fair and strict examiners!"

Boyi Kao: "...Okay."

With an upright face, Yun Xiao asked another sharp question, "Bo Yi Kao, as far as we know, you participated in this interview to reconnect with Nine-Tailed Fox. Doubt, we feel that your loyalty to Heaven is not enough."

Bo Yikao was already in a daze. At that time, Qiao Yu agreed to let me go through the back door, so that Xiaojiu and I could get married!Why are Empress Yunxiao and Our Lady of Golden Light so strict?

He stumbled and said: "There are, there are personal reasons, but I am absolutely loyal to Heaven! Really!"

Seeing that his eyes were turning red from anxiety, Qiao Yu couldn't help laughing and said, "Everyone, please stop making fun of him, he just wants to marry a wife!"

Both Yunxiao and Our Lady of Golden Light laughed, and Bo Yikao realized that he had been cheated, "You guys are too bad!"

Qiao Yu smiled and said: "Okay, okay, someone will take you to see Xiao Jiu later, so that you can relieve the pain of lovesickness." Qiao Yu straightened his expression again and said, "Of course, this is also Xiao Jiu's visit The list of gods, the compensation for the inability to improve in cultivation, not everyone can get married in the heaven!"

Bo Yikao nodded seriously, "I know, thank you!"

Bo Yikao left the selection room, there were still a bunch of mortals waiting outside, and one person asked: "Brother! Have you passed the selection?"

Bo Yikao nodded, "Yes!"

"How did you pass?"

Bo Yikao smiled, tilted his head and said, "Well...maybe they look at me pitifully?"

"Oh..." I feel like I know a very amazing customs clearance skill!

After Bo Yikao left, Qiao Yu and the others received the next one.

This man is an honest man. Qiao Yu asked him when he saw him, "What will you do? Or, what specialties do you have?"

The man thought for a while and said, "I...I can cook."

Qiao Yu: "..."

Our Lady of Golden Light asked Qiao Yu, "Do we need a cook in heaven?"

Qiao Yu said uncertainly: "Maybe it is necessary... When holding a banquet, shouldn't someone cook for it?"

Our Lady of Golden Light nodded, and she asked: "Since you said you can cook, what do you cook, let us try!"

Qiao Yu: "..." Am I really selecting officials?

After the cook left, Qiao Yu called the next one.

"Do you have any specialties?"

The visitor cried loudly: "I don't have any special skills, I'm just miserable! My mother didn't want me since I was a child, and my father married me a stepmother, who beat me and scolded me, and didn't give me food... woo woo woo..."

Qiao Yu: "..."

"My stepmother wanted to sell me later, but my father didn't stop me...I really don't love my father, my mother doesn't love me! I won't even be able to marry a daughter-in-law when I grow up! Woooooo..."

Qiao Yu flipped through the documents in his hand and couldn't help sighing.These mortals selected by the Heavenly Court are actually in the state of souls, and their experiences from childhood to adulthood are all written in Qiao Yu's materials.This eldest brother’s family is very happy, Qiao Yu really doesn’t know why he has to sell miserably, we are selecting officials, not drafts, okay!

Qiao Yu kicked him out directly. This man is dishonest and cannot be an official in heaven.His soul will be sent back to the mortal world, and he will forget what happened here.Qiao Yu is really lucky to have this process, he doesn't want to be remembered by these mortals.

Then Qiao Yu met a few more mortals, as if they had made a deal, they sold out badly!And one is more wonderful than the other!

Some people even said that they were cuckolded by their daughter-in-law because he didn't lift!

Qiao Yu's face was full of question marks, there was such an operation!What about ethics?What about etiquette?

Finally, the Holy Mother of Golden Light couldn't take it anymore, and she called the heavenly soldiers outside, "What's going on? Are those mortals' heads broken? If they are still like this, we don't need to see them!"

The Tianbing outside the door smiled and said: "After Mr. Bo Yi Kao went out, he said that he was selected because everyone thought he was more pitiful, so these people believed it was true and started to make up things."

Qiao Yu smiled ferociously, "I think Bo Yikao's life is still too smooth."

Both Sanxiao and Our Lady of Golden Light smiled and nodded, "That's right! We should add some twists and turns to him."

Therefore, when Bo Yikao received the notice that he was not selected, Bo Yikao's face was blank.

How did that happen?Didn't I trust the relationship and go through the back door?