Lovers are not full Just A Bit Confusing

An hour later, Ryan watched as Jamie sat on the floor of his living room, slumped against the couch.

Jamie stared dreamily at the ceiling, clutching his bottle of vodka like a life-saving straw.

"Stop staring at me," Jamie said without looking at Ryan. "Drink with me. Drinking alone just makes me feel more pathetic."

Ryan sat down next to Jamie, their shoulders touching.He opened a bottle of wine, but didn't drink it. "Don't say that, you are not pathetic."

"I feel so fucking pathetic." Jamie kept his eyes on the ceiling, and Ryan watched his Adam's apple roll up and down as he muttered. "Worthless." He gulped down his wine, pale eyelashes hiding his emotion. "You know what the worst thing is? I thought to myself: What's the point of fighting him? If I stood up against what he could defend, I'd do it, but actually I have nothing to defend." He smiled. "If I marry Megan, at least one person will be happy, and this sad noble lineage that is rich, powerful and stupid will be passed on."

"Don't say that."

Jamie stared at him for a long time, eyes sparkling. "But it is what it is," he said softly. "Everybody's not happy with me. Dad's not happy with me because I'm not like him—nor like Tristan." Jamie chuckled.

"You know, it's funny. A couple of times I really thought, 'If Tristan was from the Graysons, he'd be better than me,' and now...now I have a brother, but he I guess he hates me; and my dad, I'm afraid I'm the illegitimate child." He looked down at his bare toes. "I can't even be gay. I'm in love with men who will never be mine. I can screw that up."

Ryan looked away for a moment, then put down the bottle. "Jamie-"

"You know I'm right." Jamie said with a small smile on his lips. "And my dad was right: some things just don't work out the way you want them to, and we have to do what we have to do."

"Fuck your dad."

"No, thanks, I'm not good at that." Jamie giggled at his own joke, and then he laughed.But soon, the shrill, hysterical laughter became unbearable to listen to.

Ryan gritted his teeth.His mind knew that Jamie's feelings were so badly wounded that he couldn't resist, and pacifying him at this point might make his hopeless love sink deeper and deeper.But his heart protested.Jamie needed him now more than ever before, and it aroused all the protectiveness in him—and Ryan was overprotective whenever Jamie was involved.

He'd always known that his affection for Jamie was a little weird, that he liked Jamie a little too much, and that he was a little too possessive and protective of Jamie.Even if he has nothing, he is willing to do everything for Jamie.The feeling of caring for Jamie is addictive.For Ryan, what he liked about Hannah was that she was independent and never attached to anyone; but what he liked about Jamie was the exact opposite: Jamie needed him, and he loved it.Ryan knew that in the long run, his intervention might—certainly—make Jamie sadder, but right now, his emotions completely betrayed his reason, and every cell in his body was clamoring that as long as it made Jamie feel better Point, he would do anything.

But, fuck it, he can't stand by anymore.

Ryan sighed and pulled Jamie towards him, wrapping him in his arms.Jamie's laughter stopped abruptly.He snorted softly, collapsed on Ryan, and his whole body melted into Ryan's arms.

Ryan stared at the pale blond head resting on his chest, and knew it clearly—this is not what a friend should do.Jamie doesn't want his best friend right now; he wants the comfort of a loved one.What Jamie wants is love.

Ryan felt anxious.He suspected again that he was manipulating Jamie's feelings.

Maybe.But he doesn't like Jamie's recent state of mind very much: depressed and resistant, depressed, and guilty of things beyond his control.Fuck, as long as it makes Jamie feel better, he doesn't care about morality or immorality.

"Don't be silly," Ryan said, nuzzling Jamie's hair and kissing the top of his head. "Do you think we'd still be 'us' if you were like Tristan? I know Tristan's a jerk on the outside, but he's a really nice guy—he must be, or my brother wouldn't be in love His—but let me tell you, he's far from yours." Ryan stroked Jamie's forehead with his lips. "No one can compare to you, do you know how much I fucking like you?"

"Ryan," Jamie murmured, twisting twice when Ryan kissed him sheepishly, but didn't push back. "I know what you're up to. Don't do it."

"Yes, I'm really trying to make you feel better," Ryan said harshly, but sincerely. "But you know I'm not lying. I fucking broke up with my girlfriend because of you."

Jamie flinched. "Should I feel better after hearing this?"

"Yeah," Ryan said, lifting Jamie's face and looking him straight in the eye. "Because I think it proves something."

Jamie's face gradually turned red, he blinked quickly, looked down at the bottle in his hand, then took a big gulp, and then pushed the bottle to Ryan's mouth.

Ryan laughed. "Are you going to get me drunk so you can lay hands on me?" But he relented and took a swig too.

"You exposed my evil plan," said Jamie, taking another sip from the bottle to his lips, eyes sparkling. "What should I do now?"

"It's good to put the bottle down first," Ryan said, taking the bottle from Jamie and setting it aside. "You're a little drunk."

Jamie pursed his lower lip and grimaced.

"Didn't your mother teach you that pouting is bad manners?" Ryan said with a smirk.He kissed the corner of Jamie's pursed lips.

"Hey, it's hard for me to control myself when you're doing something like this," Jamie said bitterly.

Oops.

Ryan felt bitter in his heart, but a smile appeared on his face. "Is this weirder than you giving me blowjob?"

The joke is a bit cold.It wasn't a safety topic, and he couldn't even think about it, let alone talk to Jamie.

"Yeah, that's right," Jamie said with a smile on one side of his mouth. "Because I can rationalize blowjobs: I can tell myself that you're just a muddled, perverted slut. But this kiss... doesn't make much sense."

Ryan stared at Jamie.He was right.Why did I kiss Jamie on the lips?Jamie's mouth didn't actually belong to him, damn it.

"This whole thing really confuses me," Ryan said with a sigh. "I don't fucking know what the hell I'm doing, Jamie." He put one hand on the back of Jamie's neck, rubbing his thumb lightly. "But I know one thing: I don't want you to get hurt. And if you start misinterpreting my actions, you're going to get hurt. You said you'd take whatever I did to you. You really shouldn't. Don't let me cross the line, I can't give you what you want, you deserve someone better."

A trace of sadness flickered across Jamie's blue-green eyes, and he nodded, leaning back on Ryan's chest. "You still want me to stop loving you, don't you?"

The question made Ryan hesitate for a moment, and he frowned. "No," he said slowly. "I think I've come to terms with that."

Jamie just snorted twice, playing with Ryan's shirttail with his fair fingers.

Minutes passed in silence.With nothing else to distract him, Ryan became very aware that Jamie was sitting on his lap.Although the two of them have long been used to cuddling and cuddling, it was the first time for them to sit on their laps.Ryan used to let his girlfriends sit on his lap, and Hannah would be fine here, but Jamie here... feels completely different.Jamie might be lighter and shorter than him, but Jamie was a man, and not small.

"Can I ask you something?" Ryan whispered.He decided not to let Jamie get off his lap.

Jamie looked at ease.Besides, it was comfortable to hold him that way.

"what?"

"When did it start?"

Jamie didn't have to ask what that meant. "Since I figured out what a dick is for," he chuckled twice. "But I didn't want to admit it all these years until..."

"Until what?"

Jamie looked up at Ryan. "Until I accidentally ran into you having sex with Erica."

"Erica?"

Jamie rolled his eyes. "When we were 16. I don't expect you to remember who she was. You were a total slut anyway."

"I was a [-]-year-old boy at that time." Ryan didn't deny Jamie's "slutty" at all.He was really horny then.

Jamie snorted coldly and played with the bottom button of Ryan's shirt with his fingers. "Anyway, I saw you making love to her."

Although talking about his own shit, Ryan was still amused. "Jamie, a 16-year-old kid can't have sex - you just have to fuck and pray your skills are up to par. The whole thing is cum on the brain, clumsy, and it's over in the blink of an eye. I was probably better than the average 16 Year-old hairy boys are a bit stronger, but their skills are still pretty average."

"For an innocent virgin like me, your skills aren't bad," Jamie muttered, staring down at Ryan's shirt. "that is……"

Ryan waited quietly, watching him curiously.

"Up until that moment, I didn't really want to admit it," Jamie said finally. "I kept hoping it was just a blip, that it would pass. But—but when I realized I wanted to replace that girl I can't lie to myself anymore." Jamie raised his eyes, showing Ryan's familiar shameless eyes again. "I want to be crushed by you and fucked by you."

Ryan stared at Jamie, the room so quiet that the refrigerator hummed in the kitchen.

"I had a bit of an identity crisis after that," Jamie said, licking his lips with his tongue. "I hate my body, I want you and my body can't accept you, and I shouldn't want you." Jamie blushed.

"Sometimes...sometimes I hate myself for being a boy, if only I was born a girl, so I can feel what it's like to have you - accept you with my body. I'm crazy about it —wanted you to enter me."

Faced with such a confession, Ryan wasn't sure how to respond.His mouth was parched, for one reason or another, Jamie's words were driving him crazy.But part of it—Jamie needs him, craves him to be inside of him—is the twist in Ryan's guts that he wants to have Jamie all the way, even if he's intellectually obsessed with it. Twitch it, think it's wrong.

"That's pretty fucked up, isn't it?" Jamie gave a sad smile. "But then I did my research and found out that men can have sex with men, so I didn't think so. I also found out that dildos exist."

Ryan didn't know why Jamie was saying this.If he meant to make Ryan super uncomfortable, then he succeeded. "Jamie-"

"I like a dildo," Jamie murmured.His face was flushed, but his jaw was stubbornly set, and his eyes showed a determined expression. "I like that. I'm kind of addicted." He smiled. "The problem is, I always imagine that thing is you. So when I actually fucked my boyfriend, I fucked them and I couldn't let them fuck me—it didn't feel right." Jamie and Ryan Looking at each other, his face strangely showed a fragile and heroic expression at the same time. "Anyway, I've wanted you to fuck me since I was 16."

"Are you trying to scare me?" Ryan gave a short laugh.

Jamie shrugged, "Maybe. Does it scare you?" Jamie tilted his head, examining Ryan with an inscrutable look. "Do you feel sick?"

"No." Ryan replied.He had mixed feelings, but not nausea.

Jamie licked his lips. "I want to suck your cock."

Ryan's eyes widened.Even after the past few weeks, Ryan still doesn't feel fucking real when he hears this.But tonight Jamie seemed to be slipping into something weird again.Ryan knew that he could only blame himself for being in this situation, who told him not to hide away when Jamie broke down emotionally, but let Jamie sit on his lap with his brain flooded.

"Are you drunk?" Ryan tried to ignore the squirm in his crotch.

Jamie shook his head. "You know I'm not drunk. Can I lick your cock now?"

Ryan had never thought before that a line could sound so out of place and yet so inspiring.

He should refuse.They should put an end to this kind of thing.But Ryan's mind was so muddled by the urge to "satisfy Jamie" that he couldn't say "no" when Jamie took his silence as acquiescence and unzipped his pants Character.Ryan was erect, his body responding to Jamie's needs like a stallion sniffing a mare in heat.What the hell.This is Jamie, his Jamie.Jamie wasn't meant to fuck, and jamming his cock into Jamie's mouth still felt blasphemous.

However, when Jamie pulled his cock out and began to stroke it slowly with both hands, watching it fully hard with fascinated and hungry eyes, he found that he was not resisting it.Ryan can't believe Lambert is calling Jamie "frigid": he's a thousand miles away from "frigid."Or, only Ryan could make Jamie look like this.

Jamie climbed down Ryan's lap, spreading Ryan's legs further apart.

"Jamie," Ryan growled.Jamie took him deep in his mouth with ease, completely destroying Ryan's little self-control.Ryan groans and leans back on the couch, fingers down into Jamie's light blond hair - which is growing longer - and he pulls Jamie's head back to get a better look at Jamie. Mi's face.Jamie's pink lips ran along his erect cock, tongue circling around the top.Ryan shuddered all over.Jamie's expression was lustful as he licked his cock: flushing, eyes gleaming with hunger and pleasure, his face awash in pure ecstasy.He sucked Ryan's cock like he was tasting his favorite thing in the world.Jamie moaned with his cock in his mouth.Ryan caught Jamie pulling out his own cock too, pumping it quickly while giving him a slow blowjob.Jamie ate Ryan's cock like a delicacy, his soft, moist, warm mouth gulping down Ryan's painfully hard cock, but he wasn't tight enough, fast enough— Ryan grabbed Jamie's hair and jerked his waist forward, getting heavier and faster until he was fucking Jamie's mouth.His mind was blank, only desire drove his body, wanted to cum in that sweet throat, wanted to fill Jamie's stomach with cum until he couldn't get any more, and he—

Jamie's cell phone rang in his pocket, loud as a fire alarm.It rattled and rattled until Jamie pulled away and reached for it, panting and shaking his hands.

"Shut down." Ryan said through gritted teeth.He pushed Jamie's mouth back into his throbbing cock, and if Jamie had to lick his cock, at least not hang him like that when he was near the top.He felt like he was going to explode.

Jamie's eyes lit up, he gave Ryan a mischievous smile, and pressed the call button.

He also turned on speakerphone. "What?" Jamie asked.Ryan's voice sounded hoarse from having just sucked his cock.

"You idiot!" said Luke across the phone.

"What did I do?" Jamie asked.His distracted eyes were still fixed on Ryan's achingly hard cock.Jamie circled his fingers around the bottom and squeezed, as if enjoying its firmness.Ryan gritted his teeth and gasped, glaring at Jamie.

Jamie smiled, sliding his lips up and down his cock.This is simply too late.The only thing on Ryan's mind right now is to fuck that mouth and come out.

"What are you doing?" Luke said in disbelief. "You left me in a place where I only knew three people, and they all went somewhere the hell. Hey, how do you sound drunk?—Are you drunk? You and Ryan threw Send me off to have a good time? If that's the case, shit, you big bastard."

"I'm busy," Jamie said, licking Ryan's cock head. "Let's talk tomorrow."

"Are you at Ryan's?"

"Yeah," Jamie snorted affirmatively, with Ryan's cock in his mouth.He raised his head and met Ryan's eyes.Ryan felt his cock throbbing with the wanton desire on Jamie's face.In fact, the little bastard was so horny from eating Ryan's cock while talking on the phone with his friends.

"I'll see you in ten minutes then," Luke said. "Five minutes if the road is not blocked." He hung up the phone.

Ryan froze.Did he hear wrong?But looking at Jamie's wide eyes, he knew he had heard right.They both stared, Jamie still holding Ryan's cock tightly in his mouth, clutching his own erection.gosh.

"He's almost here." Ryan's voice was a little unsteady.He backed away from Jamie's mouth, hissing as he left the moist, warm mouth.Jamie murmured in disappointment.

"Not enough time," Ryan said.He tried to soften himself, but it was in vain; he was so hard he could punch through walls.

Jamie wasn't much better either.He was breathing heavily, his erect cock was still sticking out, and his eyes couldn't focus. "I've got an idea," he murmured, taking off his jeans and underpants quickly. "Don't be scared by me, okay?" He took something out of his coat pocket on the ground.

Ryan saw the thing in his hand clearly, and suddenly became parched. "Jamie-"

"Don't take it too seriously, it's okay." Jamie spoke quickly, and sat on Ryan's lap with his legs spread apart, and began to put a condom on Ryan. "It doesn't mean anything. It's just a hole anyway, right? But it's faster." His face flushed and his pupils dilated. "I can always come faster with something in my body," he said, taking a packet of lube from his pocket and slathering it on his fingers.Some part of Ryan wondered why Jamie was carrying condoms and lube with him - was he going to fuck Lambert again? —but most of his brain was dead.

He sat still, his whole body tensed up, watching as Jamie stretched his hands behind him, expanding rapidly for himself.This is impossible.

He should stop Jamie.However, his mind seemed to be unable to figure out what was going to happen next, and could only get stuck on the idea of ​​"fuck Jamie".Several complex emotions and thoughts collided in his heart, and he felt utterly wrong and full of longing.

Before he could decide what the fuck he was going to do, there was a fully naked best friend sitting on his lap, moving over his cock.By the time he realized it, Jamie was already sitting down, letting his "brother" slowly penetrate into that hole.Ryan hissed, feeling his throbbing prick wrapped tightly.Damn.

Jamie didn't stop until his cock was completely inside.His eyes widened and his face flushed.They looked at each other, breathing heavily.

Hold.

His cock was inside Jamie, it couldn't fucking be true, but it happened.

Jamie opened his mouth as if to say something, but no words came out.He bit his lip, staring at Ryan in a dazed way, and then he started moving—God was fucking him.Ryan gritted his teeth, trying not to make any noise, trying to remain completely still.Deep in his heart he still couldn't believe it was real.

He watched as Jamie rode his cock, intense disbelief fighting the joy of possessing Jamie - he was inside him, as deep as he could go.To say that putting a dick in Jamie's mouth felt like blasphemy was nothing compared to what it was now.He slams his cock into the man who's always been a brother - he's supposed to protect him, take care of him, not fuck his ass.

But the way Jamie rode on his cock wasn't exactly bromance.The bodies of the two collided, the former's swollen pink lips were half-opened, and the pupils were dilated with ecstasy.Ryan's line of sight was firmly occupied by him.

Ryan wasn't sure if he was involved at all.Jamie did it all.Jamie pleasuring himself furiously against him, faster and faster, creating a heat that made Ryan's sweat soak his clothes and his balls ache from the eagerness to come.Drops of sweat ran down Ryan's forehead and neck.Ryan gritted his teeth and tried to think as hard as he could, but damn it, Jamie was so fast he couldn't think.His self-control was draining, draining fast.

"Jamie—" he whispered through gritted teeth.

Jamie was completely out of hearing, and he fucked himself hard on Ryan's aching cock, moaning louder and slurring oh oh oh oh oh, almost sobbing .He looked totally let go, like a slut, like a whore crazy about his cock.This drives Ryan crazy.He couldn't hold it any longer, growled tremblingly, and ejaculated a stream of scalding cum.

Jamie grabbed his erection and sat down hard on Ryan's limp cock again, letting out a long hoarse moan before coming too.

In this moment of bliss, the world is only the sound of their rapid breathing.

Then, the doorbell rang.

Ryan opened his eyes and stared at Jamie.

Jamie stared at him, panting.

The doorbell rang again.

They bounce off quickly, and Jamie grabs the clothes, and Ryan barely takes them off, but his shirt is ruined.He tucked his penis back into his pants, walked into the bathroom, slammed the door and leaned back.He stared at the mirror on the opposite wall, his mind boiling.

Hold.

By the time he put on a clean shirt and returned to the living room, the room was already empty, with Jamie and Luke gone.

Ryan walked to the window and looked out.The streets are lit up with Christmas street lights and decorations.Luke and Jamie were arguing next to Luke's car - or rather, Luke was gesturing exaggeratedly and shaking his head, while Jamie stood silently to one side, arms folded.

As if sensing Ryan's gaze, Jamie looked up.The eyes of the two collided.

Jamie turned his head away.