Lovers are not full Just A Bit Confusing

"Why are you staring at that guy all night?"

Ryan took a sip of his drink and glanced at his older brother. "I don't understand what you're saying."

Zack leaned against the wall next to him, took a sip of his drink, and his sharp gray eyes studied Ryan for a moment, then scanned the crowded room.Originally, their family's Christmas gathering was small, just a few members of the family, but as the Hardaway brothers and sisters grew up, their respective partners, children, and countless friends also joined in, so it evolved into what it is today. Such a crowded scene.Zach's eyes lingered on the tall red-haired man by the Christmas tree who was sticking to Jamie.Paul Lambert.

"That's right, he's the one you're staring at," Zach said flatly. "Where's your 'Christmas spirit'?"

"I didn't keep staring at him," Ryan said. "I just can't figure out how he's here, uninvited."

"You've got Luke Whitford, the man came with him."

"That guy was Jamie's ex-boyfriend," Ryan said. "The bastard who broke his heart a few months ago."

"James doesn't look sad," Zach said. "It seems to be quite happy."

It was true—and that was exactly why Ryan was so angry.Ryan wanted to go over and shake the water out of Jamie's head and ask him what the hell he was doing about the plane.Lambert dumped Jamie because he couldn't introduce him to Jamie's father because he didn't want to come out.A small-bodied bastard who can't even get together and leave, not only says that Jamie is like a dead fish in bed, but also that he doesn't know how to fall in love at all.Considering he's Jamie's first boyfriend, what he's doing is utterly fucked up.But for some reason now, Jamie was smiling and talking to the guy in a very nice way.

"He shouldn't be talking to that idiot at all," Ryan said.

"I don't think you can protect James like a baby anymore," Zach said with a smirk. "He's the same age as you, do you understand? You don't care so much about your brother Miles."

Ryan put on a nonchalant expression, trying to let the heat off his cheeks fade away.His family is well aware that he thinks of Jamie as a younger brother - he has made no secret of his annoyance whenever his own brother made fun of Jamie's relationship with him.But now he wasn't sure how they'd react if they found out he'd been putting his cock in Jamie's mouth a lot lately.

"Jamie can take care of himself," Ryan said.He watched as Lambert leaned forward with a wicked smile and whispered something into Jamie's ear. "But step aside that bastard, he had his chance and he blew it."

"Maybe James is going to give him another chance," Zach said.But he sounded a little distracted, and his eyes were entirely on Tristan, who was smirking at his foster brother across the room. "Here he is again," Zach muttered, shaking his head, and strode toward Tristan.

Ryan watched as Zack grabbed Tristan and gave him a stern look, but Tristan's grin was wider and he looked smug.Zach narrowed his eyes and said something to him, and then Tristan blushed, licked his lips, and nodded with a shy smile.Zach stared at his bear boyfriend, his eyes were longing and obsessed.

Ryan looked back at Jamie and Lambert, jaw clenched.Lambert is winking, it's disgusting.And Jamie...Jamie's expression was even more incomprehensible.He's smiling, like he's listening to Lambert, but Ryan still can't believe that Jamie is going to give that idiot another chance like Zack said.Jamie doesn't love Lambert, Jamie loves him.Regardless of how Ryan feels about it, he's coming to terms with it.but……

But Jamie and Lambert are really sad after breaking up, and Lambert is Jamie's first term.A man never forgets his first time.

Ryan pursed his lips, reminding himself that Jamie hated being shielded.Besides, it is inevitable that there will be suspicions of jealousy if you forcefully intervene at this time.Jamie was constantly upset because he couldn't get his cock out of his best friend's mouth, and it would have been worse if he had misunderstood him.He didn't want to give Jamie the wrong impression and annoy him more.Ryan, of course, wasn't jealous, and if it were someone else—a respectable person—Ryan would only be happy, because that meant Jamie might have a rewarding relationship.He will be happy.Maybe.

Ryan almost smiled wryly.Damn, who is he fooling?Now as long as Jamie touches him, he has nothing to guarantee.Ever since he shoved his cock into Jamie's mouth, he'd gotten more possessive - he'd occasionally feel like Jamie's mouth belonged to him only, which was fucking... crazy too.

Ryan grimaced and shook his head.He couldn't let himself think that.How could he come up with such a domineering idea?It was neither normal nor healthy for him or Jamie.Jamie can find someone he really likes and have a normal relationship.

But no matter how Ryan persuaded himself, he couldn't stand by and watch this farce.That idiot wasn't good enough for Jamie and would just end up making Jamie sad—same as last time.

When Ryan came back to his senses, he found that he was walking towards those two people.

"Hi," Ryan greeted, putting a hand on the back of Jamie's neck and keeping his eyes on Lambert. "I don't remember asking you. What's your name?"

Jamie gave him an elbow, not bad.

A smile crept onto Lambert's face. "My name is Lambert, Paul Lambert, nice to meet again. Luke..."

"Sorry, Lambert," Ryan said, and nudged Jamie away.

Once out of Lambert's hearing range, Jamie demanded, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Is that the right thing for me to ask?" Ryan said, dragging Jamie upstairs—it was quieter upstairs.He led Jamie into his room, closed the door, squeezed Jamie's shoulders, and looked into Jamie's eyes. "What do you think you're doing? Remember how fucked up that guy was when he broke up with you?"

Jamie looked away, shrugging.

Ryan narrowed his eyes. "Are you going to prove something?"

Jamie said nothing.

"James."

Jamie flinched, giving him a look of shock. "You never called me James."

"Maybe I finally decided to listen to you. I will call you whatever others call you."

The look on Jamie's face was quite intriguing.

Ryan smiled. "Don't say that you really want to be my own Jamie." He teased.

Jamie didn't laugh, he blushed.

Their eyes intertwined.Ryan felt the smile disappear from his face.It might have been ridiculous for Ryan to think about what had happened between them, but it was the first time he'd actually realized that Jamie loved him—the first time he'd realized that when he smiled at Jamie, there was a little deer inside Jamie. Crashing around, realizing for the first time that Jamie likes him affectionately calling him by crooked pet nicknames.

"You're blushing," Ryan said, sliding his knuckles across Jamie's face.Jamie shuddered slightly and parted his lips.Ryan's eyes fell on Jamie's lips, his heart was in a mess, trying to ignore the familiar restlessness coming from his lower abdomen.They haven't spoken to each other for two days, and it's been two days since the last time...Jamie called him crazy that day.Jamie was right.Because even now that his family and friends are so close, just a door away, he still wants to push Jamie, whom he's always thought of as his baby brother, down on his knees and shove his cock in his mouth.He wanted to do it even though deep down he knew it was wrong, gross and fucked up.

The door behind Ryan opened.It's his mother.

"Honey, your dad is here," she said to Jamie, frowning. "He looks very disturbed. He's waiting for you downstairs."

Jamie's eyes widened, looking at Ryan. "What do you think he's up to?" Jamie asked, a look of anxiety flitting across his face. "He never comes here to look for me." He took out his mobile phone from his pocket and made a bitter face. "I forgot I put it on silent. He called three times, but I didn't answer. Do you think something happened?"

"Calm down," Ryan said, putting a hand on Jamie's shoulder. "Maybe he's making a fuss out of a molehill."

They both knew something must have happened, but Jamie relaxed a little under his reassurance. "Let's go," he said.

Ryan followed him downstairs, toward the small room where Zach kept his client cases.

Arthur Grayson stood inside, his back straight, his hands in his pockets, and an inscrutable expression on his face.But Ryan knew Arthur well, and he clearly noticed the subtle tension in Arthur's movements.Ryan's mom was wrong: Arthur wasn't disturbed

—he was furious.

"I wish I could talk to my son alone." Arthur's tone was calm, but it was all deceitful.

Jamie said nothing.

Ryan looked at Jamie. "I'll just stay here," he said to Arthur in a tone that was irrefutable.

Arthur's face twitched. "This is a private matter, Hardaway."

"I'm not leaving," Ryan repeated, leaning against the table. "Just pretend I don't exist."

He had never seen Arthur so furious.Arthur's physique is not tall, but his own momentum makes up for his lack of height. "you--"

Ryan met Arthur's gaze calmly, unmoved.

Arthur looked away first. "James," he said through gritted teeth, "tell your friends out."

"Say what you want to say in front of him, there are no secrets between us."

A sneer played on Arthur's lips. "So he knows you're gay?"

Ryan cursed secretly and looked at Jamie.Jamie's face was dead white.Ryan just wanted to hide Jamie in his arms and lead him out of this room and this man, but he could only stand still.Jamie didn't need Ryan's interference, and he didn't want to appear weak in front of his own father.

Ryan looked at Jamie.Jamie's throat moved slightly, trying to put on a nonchalant expression. "How did you find out?" His voice was surprisingly calm.

The expression on Arthur's face changed from mockery to disgust.He took an envelope from his inside pocket and threw it on the table.

Jamie hesitated for a moment, then walked over and opened the envelope.He took out the photo inside and pursed his lips tightly.The photo was blurry, but even from a few feet away, Ryan recognized that it was Jamie and Lambert.They are kissing.Lambert kisses Jamie on the mouth.Jamie's mouth.

An ugly feeling gripped Ryan's chest.After a moment he realized that the photo must have been taken months ago.He let out a breath and let go of his fist.what happened to him?

"Guess how surprised I was when that reporter found me at the Christmas party." Arthur's voice was sharp enough to cut a diamond. "It cost me dearly to shut him up."

"You don't have to," Jamie said.Although he looked like he was about to throw up, his tone was firm. "I'm not ashamed of my sexuality. I'm gay and that's fine."

"Irreverent brat," said Arthur. "As luck would have it, I can pretend nothing happened. In three months, you'll be marrying Meghan Cadogan."

"I don't," Jamie said, nodding. "Don't you get it yet? I'm gay, Dad."

"Don't say that again." Arthur gritted his teeth, and clenched his hands hanging by his sides into fists.

Ryan watched them. "Your Excellency, calm down, or get out."

A vein popped on Arthur's jaw. "All of this is your fault. If James hadn't stuck with you during his formative years, he'd be a normal guy now."

"He's as normal as he can be right now," Ryan said gruffly. "If you talk nonsense again, don't blame my fist for being rude. Your Excellency."

"Ryan," Jamie said softly, "come on, he's just taken a hit and he's going to think about it."

"Shocked?" Ryan clearly disagreed.

"Yeah," Jamie said, not quite sure. "He gets hit because he loves me. He's disappointed because he expects something from me. That's it. It's worse if he doesn't care."

Arthur's face was as hard as a stone, staring at his son, not knowing what he was thinking. "Are you still...with this man?" He pointed at the envelope with his chin.

"We broke up a few months ago," Jamie said. "But that's irrelevant. I'm still gay. I was going to tell you. I'm not going to marry Meghan, I think—I want to be with the one I love." He blushed instantly, looking It was very uncomfortable to go up.

"The one you love," Arthur repeated flatly, looking at Ryan, his eyes narrowed. "Who is it?"

"It doesn't matter," Jamie said, looking around, but not at Ryan. "What I want to say is that this is not the Middle Ages. I don't need to marry someone I don't love in order to leave children. There are other ways."

Arthur was still staring at Ryan, piercingly, and Ryan was staring at him without fear.Ryan wasn't sure if Arthur had guessed the truth, but Arthur couldn't get any confirmation from him.

Finally, Arthur looked at his son again. "Don't be silly. We didn't marry the Cadogans just to have kids. You're right: it's not the Middle Ages. Our family was much easier in the Middle Ages. We were respected and feared. We had power , enjoy wealth, because we can make money by relying on land. Now, not many nobles still own ancestral homes and wealth. A few like us are hated by others. They think we should have been eliminated. How many ancestors were demolished in the UK in the last century How much cultural heritage has been lost? How many ancient families have become obsolete? Need I remind you? The Grayson family is now at the top of the pyramid because every generation of our family has paid for it Work hard. I won't allow you to ruin this."

Ryan thought sadly: The worst thing was that Arthur said it from the bottom of his heart.It might have been easier for Jamie to say no to him if he had said nice things about family obligations purely to manipulate James.But Arthur really showed his love for the family and pride in the inheritance, and even Ryan felt a little empathy.He knew Arthur was telling the truth.The new tax laws of the twentieth century directly hit the aristocracy and upper class hard, and it was very difficult for them to maintain a large house in the country.Considering how much of the Grayson family's old home has to be maintained and repaired, the upkeep costs alone can be scary.

Arthur's voice softened a little. "You're too young to understand that we can't always get what we want. Sometimes what we want is out of reach, and sometimes what we want is never available."

Jamie's expression collapsed.

Arthur seemed to feel Jamie's fragility and lowered his voice. "I'm willing to condone your escapades, as long as you understand—you've got to move on to a new phase in your life. You can't tell the world about your... unethical proclivities. I don't care what you do in your room, but you have to Marry the daughter of the Cadogans."

Ryan was surprised Jamie didn't say no immediately.

"It's really touching." A familiar voice came.

Tristan was leaning against the door frame with his hands folded on his chest, a bored expression on his face.But Arthur's expression caught Ryan's attention.Jamie's dad was pale, staring at Tristan with round eyes, looking like he'd seen a ghost.

Tristan met Arthur's gaze. "What?" he said softly. "I look like her?"

Ryan raised an eyebrow, looked at Arthur, then at Tristan, then at Jamie questioningly.But Jamie also frowned suspiciously and shrugged.

"Yeah, when I was a child, people said that I was printed in the same mold as her." Tristan said kindly.

"Except for the eyes, of course." His blue-green eyes were hard, in stark contrast to his cheerful smile.Those eyes...heck, those eyes were exactly the same as Arthur's, they even had the same grim expression.Tristan was of average build and about the same build as Arthur.

Ryan realized what was going on, and he approached Jamie and touched Jamie's wrist.Jamie grabbed Ryan's hand and squeezed it tightly, looking from Tristan to his dad. "dad?"

Arthur didn't even glance at him, his eyes fixed on Tristan.

"James, if I were you," Tristan said, "I wouldn't listen to him. He's the most despicable hypocrite."

"I'm not a hypocrite," said Arthur.His voice sounded strange. "Your existence just proves that."

Tristan laughed heartily. "Oh, you really recognized me! That's very kind of you, Daddy."

Arthur flinched.

Jamie clutched Ryan's fingers desperately, his eyes widened.

"Well, I think you're right," Tristan said. "I'm living proof that the Graysons don't care about trifles and troubles."

"You're proving that we can't always get what we want," Arthur said flatly. "It also proves that we must do what we must." He cleared his throat.Ryan had never seen Arthur so visibly uncomfortable. "I did love your mother."

Tristan was still smiling, but his eyes were colder. "She must be very relieved to hear this, even though she died with only her five-year-old son beside her." His smile became extremely bright. "I stood by her body for three days until the neighbors called the authorities to complain about the smell. I really felt your love at that time."

Arthur was blue and his Adam's apple was twitching and rolling.

"Enough, Tristan," Zach whispered.That's when Ryan noticed Zach behind Tristan—perhaps because he'd been focusing most of his attention on Jamie, who had been clutching his hand.

"But I'm just getting started," Tristan said, with a trembling smile on his face.

Zach reaches out and pulls Tristan into his arms. "He doesn't deserve it." He said, kissing Tristan on the forehead, and said something in a softer voice.Tristan relaxed, the frost in his eyes melting.

"You—" Arthur glared at Tristan and Zack with undisguised disgust.

"Yes," Tristan said, he was now in Zach's arms, full of security, and his whole person was strangely strong and fragile. "I'm gay too." He smiled, as if he couldn't help laughing at something. "There must be something wrong with our bastard father's genes."

Arthur didn't find it funny at all. "I won't let you talk to me like that. I'm your—"

"You have nothing to do with my ass." Tristan gritted his teeth, and the feigned pleasure on his face disappeared. "You have only one son, the one you chose."

Arthur's expression finally changed.

Tristan smiled again, his smile was pleasant and serene, with only a little sharpness in his outline. "You know what? You picked the right one. I'm not as manipulative as James."

A faint sound came from the back of Jamie's throat.Ryan wrapped his arms around his shoulders, rubbing his thumbs against them.

"Whatever you think, I'm your father," said Arthur succinctly.

"You're 20 years late," Tristan's lips barely moved. "You had the chance to be my father, but you abandoned me."

"I couldn't then," Arthur said. "Now I can give you—"

"I don't want any of your stuff," Tristan said. "I don't need you, and I don't need the money of the Grayson family. I have money, a lot of money. You have no right to tell me what to do, Lord Lytton."

"Well, it's too late for you to say that," said Arthur.

Tristan narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?"

Arthur looked... annoyed. "You think the scouts of the football club in London just picked you and your foster brother? Is it just a coincidence?"

Tristan paled. "You mean..."

"That's right," said Arthur grumpily. "Of course, if it was just two untalented French teenagers, I couldn't force them to sign you, but I did convince the scout to give you both a chance."

Tristan's face was as white as paper, and he murmured, "Why?"

"Because you are my son." Arthur gritted his teeth. "Because you are her son, it is more convenient for me to keep an eye on you if you stay in England."

Tristan opened his mouth, then closed it again.He gave a short, sharp laugh. "You have to take this from me too, don't you?" He choked up and turned to leave.

Ryan had never seen his older brother so furious.Zach yelled, "Get out of my house, no more." He left, calling Tristan's name.

The room is quiet.

Arthur was still staring at where Tristan had just stood.

And Jamie stared at his dad. "Why?" he asked in a low voice, his voice hoarse.

Arthur startled and looked at his son as if he had just realized Jamie was there.

"How could you do this?" Jamie raised his voice. "He's my age. How can you go to another woman while mom is pregnant?"

Arthur pursed his lips. "You get out," he said to Ryan.

"I'm not going anywhere," Ryan replied.

Arthur glanced at their clasped hands, making no secret of his distaste, but wisely keeping his mouth shut. "Things are not as simple as you think." He said to James.

Jamie glared at him. "You've ruined my Christmas. You should at least explain why you cheated on your wife while she was pregnant."

Arthur turned his back and looked out the window. "I was young and stupid," he said quickly. "She...she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I could not leave her, even if she came from another world: she is an uneducated gypsy, poorer than our lowest servants." Arthur Let out a piercing laugh. "Your grandfather was sure she had bewitched me, and maybe she did. Never in my life have I longed for anything as much as I have longed for her."

Jamie took a deep breath and whispered, "If it's them you want, why choose us?"

"I can't leave my pregnant wife for a gypsy," Arthur said flatly. "You know your granny has a bad heart. I told her I refused to end the relationship - when I wanted to divorce my pregnant wife, she had a heart attack." He looked Jamie straight in the eyes and continued Said. "I'm not proud of what I did. I acted recklessly, recklessly, and totally out of character for the Graysons. I was a smitten fool. But it was a good lesson learned. I get it Sometimes it doesn’t matter what you want, we have to do what we’re supposed to do. So I broke up with her. My mom recovered and your mom didn’t find out about it — at least not at the time.”

Jamie asked, "Did you know Tristan's mom was pregnant?"

A shadow passed over Arthur's face. "No," he said succinctly. "Since he's a few months older than you, she deliberately didn't tell me she was pregnant. She just has a kind of stupid pride. I didn't find out until five years later that I had another son. She showed up at my door, She looked... looked so ill I could barely recognize her. She begged me to take care of the baby."

"You declined?" Ryan interjected, his distaste clearly written on his face.

Arthur pressed his lips together tightly. "Not everything is black and white, Hardaway. She came at a bad time. James' grandma happened to be living with us at the time, and her health was failing. So I turned them down, but I wanted to find them , to help them secretly. But this matter was more complicated than I expected, the private detective I hired took several months to find them, she was dead, and the boy was adopted." Arthur's eyes softened For a few minutes, Ryan felt that Arthur hadn't noticed it himself. "He was a beautiful kid, so I wasn't surprised he was adopted so soon. I kept someone watching him, even though his adoptive parents moved to France. After they died, I had to step in, but overall I kept my distance from him."

Jamie's grip was so tight Ryan's fingers were numb.

"Why?" Jamie said. "After his adoptive parents died, there was nothing stopping you from bringing him back. Grandma died when I was seven, and Mom and you stopped arguing by then."

"I thought about getting him back. But when I told your mother, she wasn't happy. That's why, as you say, we had 'a big fight'."

"What?" Jamie said, frowning. "She won't."

A mocking smile played on Arthur's lips. "She will, that's what she does. I can understand her very well. If I recognize my illegitimate child and it spreads in social circles, she will lose face. She threatened to divorce me and bring You leave England."

Jamie's face lit up suddenly, which made Ryan's heart ache. "You don't want to lose me?"

Arthur gave him a disapproving look. "Of course I don't. You are my son, my legal heir, and there is no way I will let Tristan inherit my title. I will not allow my heir to move to another country."

Jamie's face darkened.Ryan wondered if Arthur was dull or just didn't care.

"And, I know that kid won't forgive me." Arthur had a faint smile on his face. "That kid is a Grayson through and through. He's so proud, so stubborn." Arthur's voice was tinged with exasperation—but also reluctant admiration.

Ryan almost knew firsthand how much that hurt Jamie.Arthur never expresses any compliments for Jamie: love is there, but compliments?there has never been.Arthur thought that Jamie was too soft-hearted and too weak.

"Tristan is gay too," Ryan said, pinching Jamie's fingers.

Arthur's expression was unmoved. "I've known for a long time, but at least he's careful to keep his private life secret. And he's not my heir, so it doesn't matter what he does in his bedroom anyway." He glanced at Jamie sharply. "We'll talk when we get home. I hope you've regained your sanity by then."

Until Arthur left and closed the door, Jamie's face remained rigid.

Then, without looking at Ryan, he said, "Can we go to your place? I want to go where there are no people."

"He's such an ass," Ryan said.

Jamie shook his head. "Stop it, please. Take me to your house."

Ryan took him home.