Lovers are not full Just A Bit Confusing

Ryan called him just after midnight. "We broke up," he said dryly.

James looked up at the shadow dangling on the ceiling, not knowing what to say.Because of you, your best buddy broke up with the woman you love, what should you tell him in this situation?

"What was her reaction?"

Ryan laughed, his voice shrill. "I didn't expect her to swear those words. But I don't blame her, I can't even explain the reason for breaking up."

"I'm sorry." How pale and cheap the apology was.

There was a long silence on the phone.

James held his ears, counting the seconds.Will you hate me without her?Please don't hate me.

After 14 seconds, Ryan said: "I want to see you, come to me."

James let out a breath, feeling a little relieved. "Are you still in the old house?"

"Yes." Ryan hung up the phone.

It was almost two o'clock when James' car pulled into Zach's driveway.

He didn't knock, just texted Ryan and waited at the door.The cold wind swept across his body, making his teeth chatter.

A few minutes passed.

Maybe Ryan had fallen asleep.

Maybe Ryan had changed his mind and didn't want to see him.

He was about to get back into the car when the door opened.

Ryan stood there, clutching a bottle of vodka, and it was hard to tell what was on his face.He moves out of the way to let James in.James followed Ryan into his room, watching him closely.Ryan didn't drink crookedly, his steps were steady and strong.But Ryan's gait has always been like this, even if he is very drunk, he can't tell it.

James slammed the bedroom door behind him.Ryan landed heavily on the sofa, and began to drink with his neck up again, with an expression of refusal to be thousands of miles away.

A tangled silence spread between the two of them.Silence filled with anger, pain, resentment.

"You shouldn't have broken up with her," James said bluntly, breaking the calm, "I didn't fucking force you."

Ryan took another swig of wine and set the bottle aside.His eyes were grim.

He said, "Come here."

James hesitated for a moment, then walked over and sat down next to Ryan hesitantly.

"You know what the worst thing is?" Ryan said without looking at him.

James looked at his profile, waiting for what to say.

"Tell me when she calms down," Ryan said, eyes downcast, broad shoulders slumped forward, hands clasped loosely between his knees. "She said it might be for the best. She doesn't need a boyfriend whose every emotional need is met elsewhere, she deserves something better." James could see Ryan clenching his jaw. "Like I'm with her just to fuck her pussy."

James frowned: "That's not the case. You have been dating for half a year, and this is the most serious relationship in your life."

Ryan let out a laugh, and turned his head to look directly at James. "No, it doesn't count. Jamie."

A twisted smile played on his lips. "That's the problem, isn't it?"

James bit his lip. "You're mad at me. You think I made you lose her."

Ryan didn't deny it.James forced a smile and stood up, but Ryan grabbed his wrist. "sit down."

James gave him a shocked look, Ryan had never been so fierce to him.

He sat down again.

"I'm angry," Ryan's voice was low. "I wish I could say I'm not mad at you at all, but that's a lie." He squeezed the space between his brows with his other hand and sighed. "I blame you a little bit, I admit." He squeezed James' wrist more tightly. "But I also understand that it's not your fault. It's reasonable for you to let me make a decision." Ryan laughed a few times. "I can't bear to part with you no matter what. I want to keep you no matter what. It's not your fault."

A warm current rushed into James' heart, dispelling guilt and sadness.

He looked down, and Ryan's long, strong fingers were holding his wrist. "I know why you're angry, I do. I'm sorry."

Ryan sighed, put his arms around James' shoulders, and pressed his forehead against James' forehead.

Being so close, the smell of alcohol in Ryan's breath became stronger.

"I'm sick of it, Jamie," he admitted quietly.

James' heart is broken.

"I know." James buried his fingers in Ryan's tousled hair, stroking his head.

Ryan moved, his lips touching James' cheek. "You put me in such a mess, but you're the only one who can make it easier for me. What the hell, huh?"

There was another silence.The atmosphere was still not harmonious, but it was much more relaxed than before.

"I still can't give you what you want," Ryan said suddenly. "You know that?"

James stared at the patterns on the carpet. "I know."

"If only I could give it." Ryan nuzzled James' cheek. "They say you can change your sexual orientation, but it doesn't work for me. Not even for you, Jamie. I can't do it. Maybe it's because of you. I just can't see you that way."

James closed his eyes, trying to muster up the courage to tell Ryan that it was okay and that was enough for now, but he heard himself whisper, "But you kissed me." Even though intellectually he knew the kiss had nothing to do with lust, he was emotionally dead. It annoyed him so much to hold on to it.

How the hell is it so hard to accept that the two of them will never be together?He is really greedy and pathetic as hell.

Ryan sighed and pulled a little distance between the two, looking embarrassed. "It was spur of the moment."

"On the spur of the moment," James repeated, deflated. "All right."

"It's nothing," Ryan said frustrated. "Fuck, I don't want to hurt you, but we need to talk about it and get it over with."

James' heart sank. "whats the matter?"

Ryan had a desperate look on his face. He put his hands on James' shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes. "I love you—I love you the most—but not in that sense. I wish I could give you what you want, but I can't. I treat you like a brother, and the thought of being with you There's nothing wrong with me when you're in bed, except for the one time I fantasized about you being a girl." A thin blush came over Ryan's face, but his determined expression didn't change.He softened his voice: "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Jamie."

James felt his lips tremble.He gritted his teeth. "It's okay," he said. "I understand." He looked away and smiled, "I want to have a drink."

After an hour and two bottles of vodka, they were both passed out.

"It's related." Jamie murmured against Ryan's chest.

"I know." Ryan ran his fingers through Jamie's hair.

Jamie looked up at Ryan seriously. "No, you don't know," he muttered, suddenly furious.He lunged forward and kissed Ryan violently. "I want you," he murmured against Ryan's lips. "I want you." Ryan had no idea, ever since James figured out what a dick was for, he had only Ryan on his mind.He imagined himself taking Ryan's cock in his mouth, imagined Ryan's confident and strong hands soothing him, imagined Ryan's cock filling every hole in his body, fucking him hard, because he belonged to Ryan, from body to body Heart.His dick was peeling off just thinking about it like that, and Ryan didn't know anything. "I want you," he said softly, choked out.He pressed wet, greedy kisses to Ryan's lips. "Please. I need—need—"

Suddenly, a memory flashed through his drunken head.

Suck his cock, no matter how straight a straight man is.

Ryan was relieved when Jamie finally finished those horny kisses—his self-control was at stake, and he was close to kissing back.Deep inside he wants to respond—his little shady part of him wants to feel Jamie more deeply, to let that intimacy drive it all away—even though he knows it's a huge mistake: Rekindle Jamie's hope and trap him in place.

But when Jamie scrambled off him and knelt between his legs, Ryan's heart sank again.

He tensed up. "Jamie-"

Jamie's face was against Ryan's midriff, nose rubbing against Ryan's still-sleeping cock through his jeans.

"Jamie," Ryan stared down at Jamie, wide-eyed.This is impossible. "stop."

Jamie didn't stop, he rubbed his cheek against Ryan's swollen crotch like a kitten, closed his eyes, and flared his nose, as if absorbing the smell of Ryan's penis.Ryan had never seen a more inconsistent, weirder picture than this.

"I want to taste it," Jamie said, kissing Ryan's cock through the fabric, and he looked up at Ryan eagerly. "I want to taste your cock, please."

If Ryan had a semblance of sanity, he would have pushed Jamie away; but he was too drunk and groggy.He couldn't speak or move.Taking his silence for acquiescence, Jamie fumbled to unzip Ryan's cock and pulled out his cock.

And Ryan could only stare at the stark desire on Jamie's face.Jamie studied the soft cock in his hand, leaned over and licked the front end.Jamie licked it with relish, it was obscene, and Ryan's words suddenly came alive like Viagra.sky.

"Jamie—" Ryan stopped again.His heartbeat rumbled in his ears like thunder.It's not right, it's fucking outrageous, but he can't move.He watched as Jamie's pink tongue wrapped around the head of his cock, slowly taking the entire cock into his mouth.A moist, warm mouth engulfed his entire cock.He gasped.He's hard, he's totally hard now.Fuck, he put his hard cock in his best buddy's mouth.What the hell is he doing?

Ryan was about to push Jamie away, but Jamie let out a moan with his cock in his mouth, with a ecstatic expression on his face, as if his wish had been granted at this moment.

Ryan stared at Jamie's flushed face, too.Jamie's eyelashes fluttered slightly, and he looked up.Their eyes are entangled.Jamie's pupils were fully dilated and he whimpered and began to bob his head around Ryan's cock, feasting on it.His mouth and tongue are wanting and unscrupulous—fuck, that's wrong, it's all messed up, but Ryan can't fucking stop it.Ryan uttered a long moan, and he trembled violently, gathering the only remaining self-control to hold back from pushing his hips forward.He grabbed Jamie's head—stop—he was about to say that, but Jamie let go of his grip completely, growing his mouth wider and looking at him expectantly, waiting anxiously with.

God, Jamie wanted him to fuck his mouth.

Ryan's crotch pumped involuntarily, rushing back into the heat of Jamie's mouth.Jamie let out a long, delighted sigh with his cock in his mouth.He's completely immersed in it.

Ryan's crotch jerks and jerks.He can't stop.

Soon, he was pulling Jamie's hair with both hands, and Jamie's mouth was hard on his achingly hard, veiny cock.Fuck, he's never been this hard in his life, and the vile feeling doesn't go away—Jamie's like his brother, what's he doing? —but this fact makes everything more exciting and exciting.He wanted to fuck Jamie's mouth, so he gave in to his will.He pumped his cock, staring greedily at Jamie's bewildered face.He wants to cum in his mouth.He wanted to cum in Jamie's mouth, fill his mouth with cum, and force him to swallow—

Ryan let out a low growl, completely released.He came deep in Jamie's throat, and the edges of his vision dimmed for an instant.Fuck it.

A few minutes later, Ryan opened his eyes and saw Jamie on his lap.He wrapped one hand around Ryan's still cock and moved the other around where Ryan couldn't see.Ryan was vaguely aware that he was jerking off.And I just fucked my best friend's mouth.Thinking so, his brain couldn't feel the appropriate "fear".

Jamie nuzzled Ryan's cock with his cheek, taking the still highly sensitive tip into his mouth.Ryan gasped, he was hard again.It can't be like this, he shouldn't let everything happen just now, let alone let everything happen again.He knew that when he sobered up, he would definitely regret it.

But Jamie was moaning with his cock in his mouth, and the rapt look on his face made Ryan want to do it again.

So he did.